Not only is Wonder Week over, but I, in turn, am over Wonder Week. We accomplished a ton today, but we also discovered a few bumps in the road that boil down to us not being able to meet our goal of finishing everything for Monday. I won’t lie. I feel incredibly defeated and discouraged and angry and numb. Not great feelings, and I’m pretty sure a chunk of it is still some residual hormones from having my son four and a half weeks ago, but it is how I feel. Its hard to admit you won’t reach your goals, and that is so often why I keep things like this private. Its less embarrassing that way. But I’m trying to act in confidence and expectation that this process is going to happen! And while I still think it will, my faith is a bit shaken. Yes, I would consider myself “worked up.”
As for the facts, we did accomplish a lot today. We didn’t finish sorting toys last night at all, so we completed that today, and Brady loaded everything we want to store into our van, in hopes that we’ll make it to our storage unit one of these days again. We did some more scrubbing in the bathroom and replaces the faucet. I soaked and cleaned the hot and cold taps in vinegar and they now look brand new. i washed window sills, switched bedding, and did more laundry. Brady tidied up the furnace room, replaced some trim in a few different parts of the house, and swapped out our dryer hose for one that doesn’t require duct tape. We cleaned window screens, did dishes, dusted, swept, and cleaned cobwebs off of the ceiling. We did lots of other things but I can’t remember much. In all honesty, I found today really difficult, all day. I think we all did. I wanted it to be a big exciting work day where we dreamed of what is to come, and felt rewarded at the end. Instead, I feel nauseous and unsuccessful.
I took a shortie nap with Rowan towards the end of the afternoon, which brought a little bit of healing, and now I’m typing this out while Dekker drives his cars on the bed beside me. Its so much harder to concentrate when someone is beside you, going on and on about Pixar characters and asking your opinion on each and every one, but its good to finally be with at least one of my kids in a normal, calm setting. Less stress here. I’ve had my little break with both boys now. I’ve got to get some quiet snuggles in with Laela before the end of the day. If only she’d sit still long enough for that to happen!
While Wonder Week is over, we are foregoing church tomorrow morning and will instead be staying home and getting more work done. Every bit of me wants to just quit for a few weeks. Its exhausting to fail. But the time is now, whether we list on Monday or in a month. We can’t stop now.