You know when reality just hits you? That feeling you get? Whether its old or new stuff, sometimes it just slaps you clear in the face. Triggers, I suppose. I’ll give you an example of one of mine. In winter, when its icy, I tend to be the one who loads Brady’s wheelchair into the back of the van. He absolutely would, but its safer for me, since I can feel the stability of my feet better. But it tends to be there, in the cold, behind the van, where it hits me HARD that we have a wheelchair now. That Brady is paralyzed now. That our reality has changed so greatly. I’m not upset about it, but its definitely a reality check from time to time.
I had one of those yesterday night, where I stumbled down our stairs in the dark house in search of our morsel’s IV pole that holds the feeding pump. It always comes up when the babies come up, but it got missed last night. I scoured the main area of the house with my phone flashlight, and it took forever to realized a well-meaning kid had tucked it out of the way, inside the pantry. I rolled it through the kitchen towards the stairs, and had my moment of “My goodness. Our kid is tube fed. Poor baby!” Again. I’m not mad about it! We’ve actually developed a pretty good groove with it, and I’m happy that technology exists! But sometimes its just strange when reality hits.
On another hand, I have a VERY nice, albeit small, story to record here about our dear morsel. Just a couple of days ago, I got my very first morsel kiss. And I don’t mean when I kiss their mouth and they stick their tongue out to “kiss” me back. Don’t get me wrong, those are also epic, hahaha! But a couple of days ago, as I stood in the kitchen with a baby on my hip, speaking to Brady, the morsel leaned in and placed their little mouth on my cheek. Then, the baby leaned back, and made the lightest little smacking sound with their lips.
It was AMAZING. An unprompted act of love. What a huge gift I was given 💜 I am consistently overwhelmed with gratefulness for the little people who come through our home. That morsel has my heart 🥰