The Daily Hailey

I really had a lovely day, but in a very strange way. I’m thrilled to share with you guys that there are FABULOUS health care providers in this city, and I felt SO cared for today!

Lots of you don’t know, but we’ve had this constant battle with Rowan to get him to eat. I know. If you’ve ever seen the kid, he’s a tank. A TANK. So I haven’t talked too much about this to a lot of people, because it sounds like I’m making it up. But we struggle very hard getting him to eat in the daytime. He will eat very small amounts before getting very upset and almost seems to panic when we try to get him to eat more. Yet, at night, when he’s all dozy and unaware, he eats HUGE feedings. We’ve come to the tipping point now, as he’s getting older, where he’s getting up more and more in the night, because he’s so hungry, but we CANNOT get him to eat in the day. He cries and cries and cries after maybe 2-3 ounces, where he’ll eat 8 at night. We’re finally past thinking its just an attitude thing, and I called my doctor yesterday.

Unfortunately, she was out yesterday afternoon, so she didn’t get my message. I know her new clinic offers a few same day appointment slots, so I called the clinic literally seven minutes after it opened, and they were gone already. I was pretty discouraged. But my message was still in to her, and she would arrive for her day at noon.

Lo and behold, at 12:30, I received a call saying she wanted to see us if we could make it in by 4:00. Brady had today off, so we were already actually on our way in for some grocery shopping and such when we got the call!

When it was 4:00, Brady hung out with the kids and got them a really early supper, and I took Rowan in. We usually all go in together, but I knew Dr. Guselle had just squeezed us in at the end of her day, so if she was running behind at all, we would have to wait.

Lucky for us, we were taken back to weigh him within just a few minutes. The nurse who took us back asked “So he’s not eating well?” Then said she’d like to weigh him first. I laughed and said “You’re going to think I’m crazy when you weigh him because he’s so big.” And she responded with a very straight forward “No, I won’t. A mother knows better than anyone if something is up.” I loved that.

We were put in a room right away, and saw a first year intern first. He asked lots of questions, and didn’t make me feel like an idiot. When we just had Dekker, I was knocked down very easily by anyone would would suggest I was doing a bad job with my kids, or that I was being over the top. I’ve become much less concerned with that, but I didn’t even have to brush anything off. He took in everything I said, wrote a lot of stuff down, and even played with him a bit to help Ro get comfortable. He makes strange right now, but never with this doctor. That always makes things easier.

As it works in the clinic now, with the teaching and such, he came in and out with a few other questions before Dr. Guselle joined us. I love how she teaches and informs. She walked all of us through the possibilities and how we could rule certain things out. Lots of the bigger possibilities would have him be much much sicker, and not thriving. We all agreed that he was obviously thriving, but that there was an issue that was more than him just wanting to be up all night. I’d also like to say, for the record, that this isn’t about Brady and I wanting a full nights sleep. Sure, it would be great, but the issue is bigger. We’ll do what we have to do to keep our boy healthy and fed, but as he is getting older, he is hungrier, and he is waking up WAY more each night. But we can’t in good conscience let him just get himself back to sleep, because we know its because he’s hungry. I know crying it out in controversial, but we reasonably let our kids cry themselves to sleep. Rowan, however, wakes up and wails for milk. He’s struggling. And we need to figure it out.

What we all settled on was that he likely has a form of reflux that is bigger than what the average baby has. Rowan feeds better in certain positions, so thats part of the suspicion. Yet, after a night feeding, we lay him flat on his back, and if he had some awful severe reflux, that would hurt him so badly, which is doesn’t. While some of you are probably thinking that barfing comes with reflux, it often does, but there is a condition called silent reflux that feels exactly the same to babies s full blown reflux, but it doesn’t show itself in ways like that. Its just that. Silent. However, we can’t really know! Its all based on symptoms, and while this is the closest we can get to a diagnosis, there are holes it in.

I left feeling TOTALLY validated, to be honest. My doctor is exceptional. I also left with a prescription for liquid zantac and a few new ideas to try out in the next few weeks. I’m so pleased to have a direction now, at least. When the intern asked me what I hoped to gain from the appointment, firstly, I laughed, and then I told him totally honestly. I said I wanted to basically bounce ideas off of a professional rather than google or my friends who hadn’t experienced something like this before. I wasn’t coming in for a concrete answer, because I know there isn’t one, but I needed to toss ideas around with someone who knows way more than me, which Dr. Guselle definitely does. And I got exactly what I wanted. While we talked, Rowan clapped and shook his head, and screeched like a maniac. He’s such a ham. A loud ham.

So. We have some medicine for Ro, new bottles that should kiiinda work more like sippy cups, or better in a sitting position at least, and honestly, renewed motivation that we can figure this whole thing out.

Wish us luck, though! These rough nights are taking a bit of a toll. We’re trying to stay positive, but if you see us, and we look like garbage, be kind. We’re trying!

Look at that mug <3