Thanksgiving 2018 looks a whole lot brighter than Thanksgiving 2017. I was SO broken last year at this time. I’m quite a bit more “assembled” this time around, though not in the same way as before. I’ll never be the same as was before losing my babes, but thats ok. I hope I continue to grow and change constantly. I have a lot to be thankful for, and while I could list and list and list, I’m going to focus on one specific thing today.
I am thankful for Waverly’s curly hair. But not for the reason that you think. Hear me out.
When I was pregnant with Wavy, I was so scared for her to die. I prayed unceasingly for her to live, that she could come home with us at the end of everything and join our family in person. Finding out she was a girl was exciting, but it really kind of felt irrelevant at the time. Sure, having another girl was something we hoped for at some point, but I honestly had no preference at the time. Not even a secretive “Well if I could choose…” preference. I JUST wanted a baby that was living and breathing and healthy and could come home with me.
And then there was one time that I was praying for Waverly, and I let myself dream a little, and I prayed for her to have curly hair. How amaaazing would that be?! Right away, I felt foolish, because I really didn’t care what her hair looked like, or if she had any at all, or any of that shallow, unimportant stuff. I just wanted her to live. That was all! I never prayed about her hair again.
But God heard, as He always does. And he threw me a bone. My little girly was born with curly little locks.
In the recent weeks and months, I’ve been working harder to trust God with different things – more things, bigger things – than maybe I have in the past. Not all too long ago, I was so upset over a situation not playing out how I had expected. I should add, this situation was fully unrelated to Waverly. And in a moment of frustration, into my head popped the thought “Your daughter has curly hair.” I wasn’t sure what made me think of that right away, but it didn’t take long.
GOD! HE LISTENS!! TO EVERY SINGLE LITTLE DETAIL!!
I feel like God gave me Waverly’s curly hair as a reminder that He is listening to me. He knows about the little petty garbage that I feel dumb praying for, or the things I’m afraid to say out loud. He knows my desires, and He wants to give me the desires of my heart, even when they’re little. God is on Team Hailey! This seemingly small realization has talked me off a ledge of number of times already, and I’m so grateful for it.
I hope you can all find something special that you’re thankful for this year! If its a difficult Thanksgiving this year, I challenge you to dig deep!! And share it in the comments, if you feel so inclined!
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!