The Daily Hailey

This morning was very hard. Somewhat needlessly. But hard nonetheless. There is good and bad. I’ll tell you about it.

Yesterday, I scheduled to come visit Brady at 10:30. It was a very intentional plan because he had physical therapy at 10:45, and then I usually kicked around while he ate lunch. In the afternoon, he would be moved to City Hospital. Boom. Day planned! With some room for change, obviously, because we always have to leave room for that.

Around 9:30am, I was getting my stuff together to head to the hospital, giving myself lots of time to get hopelessly lost in the parkade again, when I missed a call from the hospital. I tried to call back but it wouldn’t go through. And then a voicemail popped up. It was very garbled and cut in and out, but my ears through they heard “transfer at 10:30.” So I panicked, and completely bailed. I got into the car and threw my phone in the cupholder, speaker up. I called Brady and we both kind of panicked. He let me know shortly after that it was in fact confirmed. The nurse said to him that had been the plan all along. Which was just maddening, because I had discussed this day WITH the nurses on the ward. It clearly was not in the plan all along.

I told Brady I would do my best to get there as fast as I could so I could at least walk down with them. And he told me they had specifically said no to that request. They insisted it would be best if I waited and met them at the old entrance and just said goodbye when they left with him. He pressed and asked why, but he couldn’t get more than “it’ll be best.”

Of course, I couldn’t get parking at the old entrance, so I parked in the parkade, ran through the hospital to the old entrance, and sat to wait.

And he just sat and waited in his room.

He was behind in pain meds, and they said they’d “try” and get them to him. Also, it was all SO last minute, he didn’t even have a chance to go to the bathroom first. It was all SO rushed and SO uninformed. SO frustrating.

Then he texted that he was coming!

Aaaaand then he texted that apparently no one had done any of the paperwork he needed to be transferred. So he wasn’t actually coming yet.

But then he was coming again. A friendly man was pushing his chair and they were visiting. He greeted me as he passed Brady off to the guy whose job it was to load him into the medi-van. He looked at me so warmly and asked if I was coming with, as though that would’ve been totally ok, but we had no idea. I teared up on the spot said I wasn’t, but I was just there to say goodbye to my husband. He right away stopped pushing Brady’s chair and stepped to the other side of the hall, telling us to take all the time we needed, that he was in absolutely no rush.

So I cried and hugged Brady, and told him we all missed him terribly. I gave him a kiss, and then it was time to go.

I sputtered all the way back to the main area of the hospital, and drowned my sorrows in the same coffee I’ve been drinking every day since he was admitted. The Americano Nuevo. Give it a try, and think of Brady. Its delicious. Not just an average cup of coffee, but not too too indulgent, either. A perfect happy medium for a VERY tired heart.

I waited in the parking lot for a little while, to gather my composure, and also to wait to hear that Brady was settled at the next place. If there was ANY chance I could be with him, I wanted to be in the city.

It wasn’t long before he texted that he had arrived, and they weren’t ready for him. They were rushing to clean a room and get things organized. I was SO angry at that point. Because WHY the stupid rush, with NO information, NO wiggle room, and then they weren’t even ready?! I was livid.

I bawled the entire way home. I was SO upset. I knew Brady being at City Hospital was the right move, but the how of the transport just sucked so bad. And now, in case I haven’t been clear about it before, this means Brady isn’t home for weeks and weeks. Its the right choice, but its definitely not an easy one. Its the only one.

Brady texted me these pictures.

His own room, and his own bathroom, with a window overlooking the river.

Today alone, he has FINALLY had his IV ports taken out (don’t even get me started) and has met the bulk of his rehab team. He and I both are loaded down with information and are anticipating the future. Brady is motivated and determined, as he always is.

I cried a lot today. I’m so happy Brady is where he is. I have confidence in that decision. But the transfer could’ve been so much smoother, and the unnecessary chaos and disorder of it all did a real number on my heart and body. The end result is good, so I will work to come down from the mess of the morning.

Therapies begin tomorrow, and I’m welcome to join! I will absolutely be there!