The Daily Hailey

You know the days where it feels like the world around you is crumbling? I don’t even necessarily mean just with me, but it seemed like everyone around me had an awful day. Everyone is struggling with something. Here’s a rough list. Name-free. Sorry if you find who you think is yourself and feel weird. Hope this isn’t overstepping…

Nightmares about a parent dying.

Son in surgery.

Marriage fell apart.

Baby in NICU.

Can’t get pregnant.

Bullied at work.

Under appreciated.

Micromanaged.

Lonely.

At home these days, I’m struggling with feeling like I have lost control of things I have to do. My house neeeeeds to be painted while I can still open windows, and I am 99% sure that it won’t happen. That, and the fact that I have both racid reflux and braxton hicks contractions, yet I can’t feel the little life inside of me move yet. How fair is that?!?! I know, its still early, and I know that every pregnancy is different, but the usual thinking is that everything happens faster with each consecutive pregnancy. I felt Laela around 16 weeks, and I’m about 17.5 now. I know its early. I didn’t feel Dekker until 19 weeks. But c’mon, relate to me already. There is a certain comfort that comes from feeling your baby move. I just want that.

SO! Since I’ve whined now for the first chunk of this post, I will now record the positives about today 🙂

I AM pregnant, whether I feel movement or not, and I without rubbing it in anyones face AT ALL, I am completely thrilled to be carrying my third child 😀

When Laela has a rough time going to bed like tonight, she gets all sweaty, which smells amazing, and she gets all rosy in her cheeks and her hair curls like mad, and she is just unbelievably gorgeous.

Dekker is a HUGE help these days, and even offered Laela toys like his Duplo and firetrucks. He didn’t get upset at all when she found his cool new birthday monster trucks either. Every time he walks past her, even if he’s on a mission totally separate from her, he always just gently touches her head as he goes by. I love that.

My mom is home, finally!! We’re gonna date tomorrow. Well, she’s actually going to hang out with Dekker a bit while I run errands, and then we’re gonna chat. I missed her sooo much these last two weeks!

We picked the very last of our corn crop tonight, and I have to say, what a beautiful crop its been! Some of the yummiest corn I’ve ever eaten 🙂 Success, finally!

When Brady was getting Laela’s bottle filled today, she got really loud and excited and started saying “babababa.” Thats kind of a big deal around here!!

I fished the Hot Wheels car out of the air duct before it disappeared forever. Thank God for my Pringle-can-worthy wrists.

I have lots and lots to be thankful for. Sometimes its just important to list. In my opinion, anyway. Today was really a good day. I hope my heavy-hearted friends can find some “glass half full” aspects of the day as well. At the very least, know I was aching for you today, and praying that you would all be able to keep your heads up.