It would appear October is a loaded month. I’ve already seen a number of causes come up on Facebook for the month, and for interests sake, I looked it up. Wikipedia had a LONG list of month long observances, and a couple of the ones I had in mind weren’t even on their list. All I’m saying is there are lots. You observe whats important to you and those you love, and I’ll observe whats important to me and those I love. They can be different, and we can still show each other the utmost love and respect.
I’ve never really fit in to something like this until now. Completely against my will, I have been placed on the side of that “1 in 4” statistic that no one wants to be on. I have lost a baby. I’ve lost two babies. This year. I have learned a lot in these times, and I feel like who I am as a person has shifted a lot, too. Brady and I were just talking about it today. We’ve had full, exciting years of life together, but this is some big life experience that I just hadn’t anticipated. I was happy to be ignorant of the pain that losing a child causes, while still trying to be a compassionate, loving friend. Now that I am SO in the know on the subject, I wish everyone else could be ignorant and no one else would have to know this pain. So far, 2017 has aged me. A lot.
Today feels heavy. Miscarriage and infant loss is all around us. I know many of you feel it too.
Whether you share your story with others or you don’t.
Whether you lost your baby early or late.
Whether your loss happened on its own, or was induced, or was done surgically.
Whether you lost your first or your fifteenth baby.
The details matter, but they don’t matter. Your story matters, but your loss and your grief is yours. No one gets to discount it.
You who are losing pregnancies, or can’t conceive. You who desire a family but are waiting for a spouse. My friends, I see you, too. Once again, I know our grief is different, but my heart hurts for yours.
All grief looks different, but we all know it to some capacity, whether through our own life, or through the life of someone we know. We call it an emotional roller coaster, but that sounds too “fun.” An emotional flood, perhaps. An emotional sink hole. An emotional solar flare? Let’s go with an emotional ass-kicking. That feels pretty accurate.
I feel so jumbled up. I wish I had scheduled out the month so I had certain days to blog about specific sides of miscarriage and infant loss, but as you’re all quite familiar, I am so very disorganized these days. Is there anything you want to know? Any questions you have? You can comment, or message me privately and ask, and I’d happy answer them in a different post! Nothing is off limits! What about sharing your own stories of your babies in heaven? Guest post, anyone?! I’m not kidding. I’d LOVE some input on how I can really bring some important topics to light.