I’m blown away over and over by how much support I feel from you guys. Yesterday was a low day, and as you guys know, I’m not big on hiding how I feel. So I put it out there on a Facebook/Instagram post, as well as yesterday’s blog entry, and I felt nothing but love back.
I’m not naive, though. I’m positive there are some people out there who judge me, or feel as though I’ve done wrong. By being public about our loss. By mourning openly. My using social media to share personal information. To have as many kids as we’ve had and to still want more. To these people, I can honestly say that its ok to feel these things. We can agree to disagree, and have no love lost <3 To those who disagree with how I’m coping, or family building in general, I want to deeply thank you for keeping it to yourself. I expected to get flack from at least a small handful of people, and I have felt nothing but love. Its been an incredible aid in my healing and coping. Let’s keep the supportive juices flowing.
With all of the love and support I’ve been feeling, I admit that I’ve been toying with the idea of doing things differently in our next go-round of pregnancy. The biggest reason that a lot of people wait to share their news is in case there is a miscarriage. Now, having gone through a miscarriage, I know I’d share it with you guys anyway. I’m also aware of the fact that, because I was public about it, my readers are in the know about the fact that we tried to have another kid, and will very likely try again soon. So if suddenly I clam up on all of the levels of baby talk for three months, everyone is going to know that we’re likely pregnant. All of this boils down to me wondering if I should just share the news right off the hop the next time we find out we’re pregnant. Why not? So more people can pray along the way in those early weeks! So we can celebrate earlier! So I don’t have to make up posts when I’ve been at the doctors and am feeling sick to my stomach for weeks! So I can continue to be OPEN about our family and life! And so that, if we lose another precious baby, I will have even more love and support from those of you who have been along for the ride in anticipating our baby and hoping for the best. Will there be downsides? Sure, there is always that risk. But I feel like, if the hypothetical group of people who disagree with our decisions continue to keep their opinions under wraps, it won’t be as difficult to roll with the punches.
Lots of thoughts swirling around in my head these days, and this is one thats been in there for the last two months or so, since we lost Theo. I can’t seem to shake it off. The extra prayer we would receive might be worth the few small things we’d lose along the way, like a surprise baby announcement. I think. Haha! It would appear I’m non-committal. Any insight, opinions, or thoughts on the subject would be welcomed with open arms.
Once again, I thank you all for your unbelievable amount of care and concern. I am floored and humbled by it all.
I don’t understand why people feel they have to “hide” their pregnancy for a certain number of weeks. Loss can happen at anytime and no matter when it happens it is still the loss of a child and we mourn it that way. Why not let everyone be excited for you right from the beginning.
After our loss I just want to tell people immediately because to me it’s just not worth all the secrecy and I think you can still have a fun pregnancy announcement at the beginning too.
Those are my two cents.
I totally agree! I didn’t know how a loss would feel, and now that I’ve had one, I’m not sure why I would hide it. There is certainly no shame or guilt in it. Just sadness and mourning. And Brady and I would far rather do that with help than alone. So, no reason not to share!