Ok. So. It happened. It snowed. I’m not ready.
I know, its November. Everyone I’ve griped about it to has reminded me. Of course it snowed. I get it.
You guys who have followed for a while know I’m not winter’s biggest fan. I am usually cold, and when I get cold, I stay cold usually for the rest of the day. I don’t like the wet socks that come with winter. I don’t like my hair getting caught in zippers and velcro. I don’t like having foggy glasses. I don’t like driving on ice. I don’t like when the wind is so strong that it feels like I’m being stabbed between the eyes.
I am truly blessed to have spent the first ten years of my life as a parent with a man who LOVES winter. Brady lives for winter. He was our snow shoveller, winter driver, snowman roller, hill maker, kid tosser, sled puller, snowboarder, fun haver, winter man.
And now,
I have to be winter man.
And that thought alone scares me. It has snowed all of once this season and already, I anticipate great failure on my part.
This morning, my kids stood in front of the window as Tom dutifully, happily, made his way over to us, and shovelled off our ramp and sidewalk. I went out momentarily to start the van so I could drive Dekker to a friends for the morning, and Tom requested the snow brush so he could scrape the ice from our tall van windows. Instead of feeling guilty, I’m trying to choose to be grateful. We have been so well supported over this last year, and many others, but most evidently in the last stretch of change in our lives. People always say it takes a village to raise children, but my village didn’t leave once the kids seemed “good.” They stuck it out, and they continue to help as we learn about our new life circumstances.
Winter is going to be very new territory around here. Please be gracious with me. Its hard to be vulnerable and honest about these things. I fear judgement from others, and I fear hurting Brady’s feelings. But I want to also address how my heart feels. And right now, it is preemptively worried for the months ahead.
We don’t know how to do winter with a wheelchair. I don’t know how to do winter while being an excellent mom.
Please carry us in prayer.