One of the biggest changes in Rowan since starting Melatonin is that he’s been able to sort his emotions out SO much clearer. I said it on the first Melatonin Monday, that any “negative” emotion looked like anger. Since we started helping him with his sleep, his anger, sadness, disappointment, fatigue, hunger, and physical pain all look different! Its been a HUGE relief, for everyone, to be able to see the difference. Rowan still gets upset about all the same stuff, but he rallies SO much easier. You can actually talk with him, and reason with him now. Since we’ve come through some of this struggle, I can see more clearly how irrational he was. Nothing made sense to him either! Anyway, I should save more of this for the next Melatonin update. To todays story. A story of victory.
I think we can agree that selflessness is hard. For adults, and for kids. Its hard to exercise, and its hard to teach. But I bet we can also agree that its very, very important.
This morning, the kids asked for milk straws at breakfast. Maybe you know about these things. They’re out of Costco, and they have little flavored sprinkles (?) in them, so when you drink your milk, it tastes like the sprinkles. Does that make sense? Anyway, we’ve been pretty poor recently, living that income-free life, but they’ve been gifted to us a couple of times, and the kids really like them!! We’ve been using up the end of a box this Christmas, and this morning, there were only three left. In case you missed the memo, we have five people who really like them, and who tend to really like to fight over stuff.
So we kind of left them to it. They could have the three straws if there were two people who volunteered not to have them. We didn’t make a big deal out of it. It was just stated, and it made logical sense. We kept moving about the kitchen, getting breakfast set out.
Laela was the first to volunteer. I think Laela is a bit like me, where food isn’t so important to her. She and I both eat on the smaller side, and aren’t too worried if food is our favorite. We eat to live, because its a necessity, but thats kind of it. She is always the first to opt for the more boring option is there isn’t enough of something “better” for everyone. Stuff like that. So she right away offered up “I don’t need a milk straw!” Thank you, sweet Laela!
No one was pressing about the straws at that point. It honestly had already slipped my mind! But suddenly, I heard Rowan say super quietly “I don’t need a milk straw either…” And then he burst out crying.
I celebrated and hugged him as he cried. I praised him way up and explained sacrifice and selflessness to him. He wiped his tears, and told me he really wanted one. And I told him I completely understood that, but because he decided not to have one, three other kids could. And he got that.
Maybe it seems small, but this is HUGELY victorious!! A month ago, he would’ve fought to the death for HIS milk straw! Because he just fought and fought and fought. And anything that would’ve been even mildly upsetting or seemed at all unfair would’ve sent him into a tailspin. Honestly, probably a month ago, we would’ve thrown away those last three straws just to avoid a big raging fight with Rowan.
And now we’re here.
He’s learning. Not only did he think of others before himself, but he made a sacrifice so his siblings could have something special. He knew he would be disappointed, and he still chose itt. He acknowledged his feelings, wiped his tears, and kept on trucking. Because sometimes making a sacrifice does make us cry. Its not easy to be selfless, even as an adult, much less a five year old. And today, he did it.
I am SO proud of you, Rowan!!! I know I’m not the only one!