Our dearest Rowan Toby turns EIGHT today! WOW! Eight years. I cannot believe he is already so OLD! I feel like time has picked up speed recently, and Rowan is suddenly halfway to adulthood. Which he is not at all, but he is one of the oldest kids in his class, so maybe thats part of it. He seems WAY too grown up to be in grade two.
The last few months with Rowan have been an absolute treat. We have worked for literal years to try and help Rowan live easier. We went down avenues to check his physical health, get him some extra help at school, get him sleeping better, and being frustratingly patient with things we never thought we’d tolerate from one of our children. We worked HARD. HE worked HARD. And we stayed close, thank the Lord.
After speaking to our family doctor at length, as well as my counsellor also at length, we decided to finally start him on a medication in December. And guys. That kid changed. He didn’t become some zombie, free of emotions or thoughts. He became the exact kid we always knew he was, but seemed to have a wall around. It became clear, I kid you not, THAT DAY, that he was absolutely burnt out. At age seven. Probably way sooner.
Rowan has ADHD! Even on just half of the medication dose a child his age/size would normally be on, he became so much lighter and more reasonable. He still has all the feelings, and gets frustrated, and sad, and overwhelmed, and every other feeling humans have. But now, he can think at the same time. He can comprehend what makes sense, and best of all, he can think about what he needs!! Sometimes its space. Sometimes its company. Sometimes its physical pressure or exercise. Touch is almost always part of it. Being held or scratched comforts or grounds him, it seems.
Sometimes he is still very loud and yelly, but he will express himself so clearly that I can absolutely get past the volume and take the words for exactly what they’re worth! I LOVE communicating with Rowan!
Since starting medication, Rowan has WAY more mental energy than before. He has a whole different capacity. Previously, we would see how warm and loving he could be, but it was hard to get past the fear of him exploding. Now, he is soft and warm and loving probably a confident 95% of the time. Its as though everyone can breathe out again. We all feel the relief, himself included, and everyone has embraced Rowan, not holding anything against him from the struggles of before. Its been incredibly obvious how much better he feels, and by default, we ALL feel. He has FUN now!
Very shortly after Rowan’s diagnosis, we found out about his poor vision in the one eye! Crazy!! And thank goodness our discoveries went in that order, because I imagine patching would’ve been SO much harder before his struggle was managed. Rowan rolled with those punches and patches, and continues to, so very smoothly. He feels so much better, and it is SO clear 💜
Now that Rowan’s brain has so much more room, he loves so many more things! He reads out loud to Wavy and Solly.
He builds more elaborate lego. He sings along to the music. He plays rowdy without anyone getting hurt, and the rare time someone does, he apologizes immediately and tries to help. He helps in the kitchen, does dishes, takes out the garbage, and even tries to do jobs that are over and above his capability. It is so clear how much was within him that couldn’t come out before.
Rowan is taller and heavier than Laela. He likes to have a buzz cut and to wear sunglasses. He would wear a muscle shirt every single day. He lives for summertime. He loves his friends, the morning, and soft snuggly things. He is a VERY good friend, and my only kid who asks me every single day how I slept the night before. He is an excellent specimen of a little boy, and I am SO proud of how strong and courageous he is!
Rowan, I hope you have the best birthday today, and that you enjoy being thoroughly enjoyed!! You are DEARLY loved, sweet Ro. I hope you always stay close to home, unless you’re off being a surfer somewhere hot 💜 Both of those mental pictures are totally your scene. I can’t wait to see where you end up!
Happy birthday, Rowan Toby!!! I love you!!!