Can we all agree that the not knowing is sometimes just the worst part of stuff? The waiting game is SO hard, and not knowing while waiting is torture.
I feel the deep need to prepare, and I don’t know for what.
I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I don’t want to be caught off guard, either.
I feel an itch to be “ready.”
I keep my devices charged ALL the time.
I have a more desperate feeling towards organization.
I’m pre-writing blogs.
I’m meal planning.
I’m keeping the house chores more caught up than usual.
I’m speculating about who to ask to be on call for us in case something happens and we have to leave the house fast.
My to-do lists are long.
My brain hurts.
My heart is so tired.
It is SO hard not knowing what is to come!
Here is what we do know.
We know Bradys condition is deteriorating every day.
We know his numbness is travelling up onto his abdomen and his right hand is weakening.
He know that there are only a few more little things we have to spot before his nerve damage will be permanent.
We know he went from a “slipped disc” to needing a neurologist in a matter of one hour.
We know that he urgently needs imaging.
We know Brady now has amazing professionals advocating for him, going down every avenue to get him cared for properly.
We know I’m having to actively check my anger at the door, where I would love to go beat down the doors of the “professionals” who neglected my husband for months. That fury will not do anyone any favours. Not myself, either. But MAN it feels justified.
And we know that God cares for us.
And that He knows how this whole mess will turn out.
And that He hasn’t forgotten us.
We are spending much time in prayer for you and Brady, Hailey! Our hearts are hurting with you and praying for healing and trust in God! All of it is so hard and being so far away is such a helpless feeling. Know that we are there in spirit! Praying God’s peace over you! Jesus, you are the healer! We praise you, Lord!
We love you so much, Hailey and Brady! 💞🙏💖
Hailey, we’re praying too! That is scary and frustrating, especially when you feel the health care system has let you down. But you’re absolutely right in saying God cares and He knows! Focusing on Him will bring you peace and strength to keep going! He goes before you and He holds your hand!
YES! God has absolutely not left us! He is the ultimate healer. We pray for His guidance for us, and for the health care professionals working with us.
Thank you for praying. I imagine its hard to digest from a distance, but be reassured that everyone is doing all they can <3 God knows what we need. He knew this would all show up. He hasn't left us.
We love you too.