Let’s take a moment of silence for my baking schedule…
*sigh*
My big glass bowl that clicks onto my mixer broke yesterday. And it SUCKS. Now that I bake in big batches very regularly, this really cramps my style. I bake a batch of muffins that produces six dozen muffins at a time. I need that big bowl. I bake four large loaves of banana bread at a time. I need that big bowl.
Except its broken.
Yesterday afternoon, I baked a batch of muffins in my smaller stainless steel bowl. I had to half it and make two small batches. Not only did way more flour fly out of the smaller bowl, but I also absentmindedly only halfed some of the ingredients 😳 I did not half the bran. So if you need to super poop, you know who to call…
I know. I will likely just buy a new bowl. I use it SO often. But a new bowl is around $70. Barf. Its ok, I can justify it for an item like this. The only hangup is that I’d really like to upgrade my mixer! So I’d rather not buy accessories for something I’d love to change before too long.
Ah well. As it stands, I know I just need to buy the bowl. I just wanted to gripe for a little bit first. I’m done now. Carry on. The pity party is over.
Yesterday started really hard and no one felt particularly well, so we stayed home from church, even though every last one of us wanted to go. Instead, I put everyone to work with me for the morning, and we continued catching the house up from the days we spent falling behind. Kids bathed. Laundry washed. The house was tidied. Wrapped gifts were moved up to our closet. Booked were rearranged in the shelves so the mobile morsel doesn’t eat the paper ones. Garbage went out. Grocery list was made. There was a lot going on!
Right before supper, Laela and I booted it quickly to the city for formula. Did you know the cost went up like CRAZY this last month?!?! The kind we get for our morsel went from $27 last month to $44. No joke. We held off buying it for a bit, in case it was going to slip back down, but alas, it left me running to Walmart dropping $200 on less than a months worth of milk :/ Gag me. And then, while we were in the city, I brought her with me for a one item stop at Wholesale Club. We came out of there with 2000 muffin cups for dirt cheap. Heyooo!
We drove home with our windows open, blasting the soundtrack to some movies Laela loves. It was fun, and really nice to be together.
We got home to a peaceful house. Babies were sleeping, and Brady had continued on with the supper plan I had made. I jumped back in and we finished it up together.
Today brought in the new school week, but having worked Saturday, Brady had today off. So we got our day organized over coffee, and once everyone was awake for the day, we headed out to Costco as a group of five. Brady and I, Wavy, the morsel, and the spoonful.
It was a HUGE shop. SO much money. BIG boxes. TWO car seats. It wasn’t gentle, but it was very cute.
Several hundred dollars later, we loaded up into the van, and headed to PBR, just to scout. I came out of there with two flats of strawberries for $48, and they all look GREAT! So that was fun, too!
Still to do today is picking up some prescriptions and some parcels at the post office, washing up the strawberries, bathing babies, baking a batch of muffins, and working more on some crocheting I committed to doing for the weekend ahead. Tomorrow would be the day for a few of those things, but alas, there are appointments to attend, on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday! Luckily they’re not all day things, so I’ll still be able to get by. But goodness. The days are full, but my heart is well. To everyone who cared about the emotional whirlwind this weekend, I appreciate you 💜 I do feel content. We will keep moving forward.
Cher bailed me out of a few days of blogging, which I greatly appreciated. Nothing scary or bad went down, but we had a pretty new experience, and without even asking for it, Cher fulfilled a need of mine. What a huge relief to not have to think about this before bed! So. I apologize. And I’m back. 💜
This last week, we accepted a third placement that was out of our age range. It was an emergency situation, where the child had nowhere else to go, and also happened to be a sibling to one of our other placements. So we said yes. To one night. We knew full well that it could extend into a longer stay, but I made it clear on the phone that, in order to take this placement, we would be displacing one of our children from their room. Our child who really needs his own space. Rowan agreed to a night or two out of his space, and we played up the “sleepover” aspect for bunking with the girls for a couple of days.
That was Tuesday.
On Friday, that child left. I had SUCH a mix of emotions. I felt guilty for not agreeing to keep them longer. Guilty for building up that trust, only to be another emergency placement where they couldn’t stay. I felt sad letting a sad child go somewhere that is likely less attentive. Worried about the same. And I felt some relief, knowing I could get caught back up on life things again. And that relief made me feel guilty again. It was not a fun cycle.
The next day, Brady had to work. Rae took my five children for the day, I kept the babies, and I spent the day at home. As I sorted through my complicated griefy feelings, I worked. Baked. Wrapped Christmas presents.
Meanwhile I fed babies, changed diapers, and played with them on the floor. I watched some YouTube and listened to some music. I spent the day sorting out the house, and my heart and brain.
By the evening, I had found some real comfort, all glory to God.
I feel peace about our choice to accept that placement, even though the child was out of our requested age range.
I feel peace about our choice to let them move on, and get our house back in order, and Rowan back in his room.
I feel peace about how the entire transition went down. This child spent a couple of hours playing outside with Cher, and then had a yummy snack at the table. Oranges. Their favorite thing food and colour. We took selfies on the stairs while we waited for the worker to arrive. And once the car seat was nicely secured, we hugged, and I prayed.
It went well. As ugly as the whole process is and was, I have no regrets. And I learned a lot.
I am SO appreciative of our people who stand alongside us as we muddle our way through the messy stuff that is foster care.
I want to be clear that I know that it is NOT about how I feel. Guilty. Worried. Sad. Gross. Thats all true, but I know that the emotions of the children in care are WAY higher up on that list, and they are suffering harder than the rest of us in this. This beautiful little person is not in this position because of their own doing. It is not their fault. Yet they are paying quite the price 💔
Man. These things are not gentle. Thank you for standing beside us, friends.
Thank you for tolerating my posts this week. You’ve probably guessed by now that the Borns have gone through a busy patch! But they’re all thriving and wonderful so don’t worry your little faces!
Now for the Canadian Complainian part…
Where is the snow?! Does anyone know?
Are there any weather experts who have a good hunch?
Since we had an early spring this year, there was a rumor that snow would come early 🙄
And I know we hate ice here, and the -7837 degree weather, but I need my fat flakes, ya know? I need my snow day; my white out; my polka dot sky if you will.
I can’t remember a time when I could totally go cut the grass after November 17th. Nope.
You’ve all seen those memes about starter packs. Like anxiety starter packs. I need to speak to a manager starter pack.
Well, first I’m going to give you the same kind of sarcasm, followed by actual good things for an ADHD starter pack.
So, here it goes:
The Ultimate ADHD starter pack:
1. Concentration pains followed by snacks.
2. House full of unfinished and un-started projects.
3. Frequent urge to stare into space while people talk to you.
4. Falling asleep when something is boring.
5. Not hearing a thing someone said and then immediately ask questions they just answered.
6. Hyper focusing so long you almost pee your pants, and you almost don’t care because you don’t want to break the concentration.
The Realistic ADHD Starter Pack
(For people who just learn they have it)
1. An echo dot for focus time options, timers, lists, reminders, and background music/sleep sounds. (*whispers* and fart jokes)
2. Magnesium, vitamin D, probiotics, and a fun water bottle
3. Stimulating lighting (string lights, galaxy lights, etc) this also doubles as relaxing lighting.
4. LOOPS! Both experience and quiet so you have options for your environmental stimuli. (Amazon)
5. Brown noise Playlist (12 hour no loops) on Spotify
This is a small list of what has helped me. Obviously there is a wide spectrum for ADHD and I am not a Healthcare professional so do your research in the vitamins. If you do take them and they don’t work, consider vitamin C for absorption. Sometimes that’s the issue. But again, ask a professional before switching over. Make sure its right for you.
Flares did not work for frequency as much as loops do. And I use a pill container for the loops. Works like a charm.
I know I’m not allowed to give lots or even really any info about foster care and the kid(s) in Hailey and Brady’s new life so I thought it would be okay to write about how I see them fitting into this role… and me too. If that’s okay!
First, it was like kinda scary for me honestly. I didn’t really know as the best friend/Auntie how I was going to fit into this family with this huge change. I didn’t realize how big of a heart Hailey has and that’s shame on me, honestly. I really thought our friendship would shift in some kind of way and it just hasn’t. There’s no distance. The babies who come are so loveable and only add to the coffee dates and texts. It’s opened a whole new area of my heart I didn’t know existed.
Second, I have never seen a married couple stay so on top of their sh….stuff! Like ever. They figure everything out REALLY well. With all the appointments these guys have and all the unknowns day by day with scheduling or last minute changes, they NEVER… N-E-V-E-R complain. In fact, when things are ridiculous, they LAUGH. I do not have that same kind of patience and endurance. It’s a good thing they are the foster parents and not me because it looks like the most inconvenient way to live, yet they embrace it so so well. That’s a God thing.
Finally, I never expected to see Brady and Hailey sharpen their own skills among parenting so many kids with very different personalities and needs. Hailey is some kind of chef and baker out of nowhere. Brady is teaching the kids how to change tires and totally crushing it at work even though it’s hectic. He is so in his dad role even more than I’ve seen him. Getting up with Hailey to feed the babies, taking over and giving her breaks to crochet or blog.. or bathe… I could keep going.
I honestly don’t know when they got their robot update but I’m still waiting for mine. Maybe that would help me finish this essay I’m writing… while they do absolutely a million things all day long, and I can barely read these days.
I am so proud of them. I don’t know if you know this about them, but they are the most loving, trustworthy, hilarious, and gentle parents that you’ll ever meet. So if you haven’t met them, I’m really sorry for you 😔 but it’s okay, you’re in the know now.
And there is a trigger warning. Talk of true crime and suicide.
I want to write a little bit about the paper I’m writing in my social control class.
We have been learning about deviance. What causes it, what keeps it from happening, and why people under the same conditions may or may not behave the same.
I was given a prompt to write about a Canadian man named Kenneth Law who helped over a thousand people die by suicide by coaching them and sending them a substance in the mail. He was getting paid for these packages through his five online companies that people could purchase from. Law had sent over 900,000 packages to over 40 countries and counting from end of 2020 until May 2023.
Story has it that while covid hit in 2020, he needed to make money, so, he built a website and started to counsel people to take their lives by targeting vulnerable people online. Four months later he declared bankruptcy but kept working his business online from a rented basement he lived in, near Toronto.
Although my paper follows his story and applies concepts and theories to why he came to be this way, I am also writing about the perspectives of the victims.
I searched through the list of some of them with their photos and ages and what their families had to say about this. I was so surprised by the ages as all of them were between ages 16 and 36.
So many parents claimed that if Kenneth Law did not target their child, that they would still be alive today. I truly believe that.
It reminded me of how my brother got his hands on steroids at such a young age through the internet and long story short, he is no longer with us as buying drugs online can have adverse effects, and misinformation can lead to fatal life choices.
The point of this post is to remind us how vulnerable we are to what we see online, and in a moment of weakness, people can be lured in to misguided counsel.
The more people text, talk, Google or look for information about something, the more the algorithm will target those people. There are no laws against that. Studies have proven than companies target vulnerable people. Shopaholics can’t pass up deals. Depressed people are more likely to fall into click bait about depression, and so on.
So as I leave this blog I say to you, stay alert and aware. I don’t think Kenneth Law is the last deviant suicide serial killer.
They may fight, but there is a special connection between these children. Between siblings.
Out of nowhere this morning, Laela came to breakfast with a patch on her eye. You may remember that Laela was cleared to stop patching recently. Rowan, unfortunately, was not. Laela was thrilled. Rowan had a cry. He HATES patching. They both hate patching, and it helped that neither of them had to do it alone.
Until they did. Poor Rowan 💜
But, this morning, Laela wore one too. I was surprised, and inquired. And she told me simply “I told him yesterday that I would. I thought it might help.”
And it did.
Of course, Rowans takeaway from these pictures was “Wow! I am SO much taller than Laela!” Because he is, and he loves it, and she does not.
I hope we always have these successes. These warm heart moments, where a kid chooses some discomfort to bring comfort to a sibling. Laela is great for that – she has a very sacrificial heart.
I’m proud of my little sweeties. “The twins” we call these ones 💜💜 Good job, kids!
Last night, or rather, this morning, at around 2:30, I needed to get up and administer some Tylenol. Not too big of a deal. Except its a bit more fussy with this particular kid. I struggled with the small medicine bottle, trying to get the ng tipped syringe in there and appropriately filled when the bottle was close to empty. Once I had that pretty well set up, I filled another ng syringe with warm water so flush the meds into the actual morsel.
Bleary eyed, and with two syringes in my hand, I tried to close the sticky, messy little bottle without putting any pressure on the syringe plungers. And, as it happens, the bottle barely closed before it ejected itself from my fingers and spun its way through the air and across the bathroom. Because why not.
But guys. It landed. It landed.
In my tiny little pink bathtub soap dish!!!
I don’t know if it was the late/early hour, or if it was actually SO funny, but I was positively folded over in desperate, quiet laughter when Brady ambled his way into the bathroom to see what the crash was. In between gasps, I recounted the tale of my unlikely basket, and he responded politely, though confused, and made his way back to bed.
Anyway. I still think its funny. And I hope some of you do, too.
We did it!! We actually got ALL NINE of us to church this morning. We were even on time!! 🥳 There was even a free handicapped parking spot available! It was really nice to get there as a group, as opposed to the last two weeks, where we were split into two groups. This was better.
As you can imagine, we don’t blend in especially well. We are NOT subtle, hahaha! And the kids have claimed us a bench pretty close to the front of the sanctuary, so even if we wanted to really hide out, we couldn’t. And thats ok! Because the kids pay WAY better attention from the front of the church than the back. So we’ve gotten used to that, lol!
Partway through the service, two of the kids left for children’s church, three big kids stayed put, and two others…
It was a VERY cute service. I can’t show you the pictures, but you’ll have to take my word for it.
We came home and made grilled cheese and bacon. It was delicious! And while there are still things to do today, it feels low pressure, and I’m looking forward to doing a bit of *gasp* sitting!!!
Unless nap time ends. In which case, I’ll be back at it!
