I Saw My Doctor Today

think I’m going to talk about my appointment today, and I’ll leave out a few details and put them in the series post, so there isn’t too much overlap, I promise! I don’t want to get boring and repeat myself too much, but I also don’t want to wait to post about my appointment, because I think I’m going to change my series day to Tuesday. It’ll just be easier to remember my rollover day that way 🙂 Aaaaanyway…

I had a prenatal appointment this morning. My last one was five weeks ago, and it wasn’t with Dr. Guselle, but with a student doctor. Conveniently, we knew her and all was well, but I haven’t seen my doctor since the dreaded week between finding out Theo had died, and actually making the decision to help him come out of my body and officially “losing” him. It wasn’t our best visit, so it was really good to see her today and catch back up.

We brought the whole gang, which we haven’t done in a while. It was a LOUD appointment, haha, but it was really good 🙂 It was the “big” appointment, so it was filling out the long sheet of questions, the family history, the physical, trying to hear the heartbeat on the doppler for the first time, etc. It was a long appointment, but I actually really like the big appointment. It makes me feel organized and a bit more ready, and like its all real. Plus, I have had enough normal paps in the last few years to not need one for a couple now, so I know its too much info, but YAY for not needing a pap today! Win!

While the kids pushed around the rolly chairs and climbed on and off the exam table, we went through all the questions. There was a very interesting moment when we went through basic info/history of our kids, and Brady and I disagreed about when Solly’s birthday was! Hahaha! It was the ultimate parent fail moment, where I thought it was one day and Brady thought it was another, and we both had legit reasons that we knew we were right. I’ll toot my own horn here and say that Dr. Guselle laughed at us, looked it up herself, and I was right. Whew! 😅 But I was really starting to wonder if I had it wrong!!! Panic to the max!

My physical went fine, nothing riveting to report on that. I’ve gained some weight, but I’ve ben eating nonstop to keep my nausea at bay, so I can’t complain or be surprised. My blood pressure was fine, nothing swollen anywhere weird, lymph nodes are all happy, ab muscles are all nicely connected to one another, lungs are clear, etc. She felt for my uterus in my lower abdomen and sure enough, there it was! Not the bump I’ve been anticipating, but she commented right away that it was right there. I felt for it, and it was hard in that spot, just not very raised, but I’m not picky! She grabbed the doppler next and began the hunt for the baby’s tiny little heartbeat. We saw it only yesterday on our ultrasound, but I still really appreciated that she tried for it. It was a longer hunt, and she mentioned that sometimes, baby is still tucked so far down that it might not be possible to find. She asked if I would be nervous or worried if I left todays appointment not hearing it, and I assured her it would be fine. I mean I JUST saw it the day before. But she kept on hunting. We kept having moments where we’d just look at each other, positive we had just heard but it, but just couldn’t pin it down. She kept digging for it, as low as she could possible get her doppler down, and then out of nowhere, she found the baby, waaay high up! Higher up than I thought my uterus even came! We were both happily surprised, and I thanked her for trying so hard to find it for me. It was a strong, fast heartbeat, and we even managed to get it on video! (I wish it was as easy to add a video on here as it is to add a picture, but it has to be through YouTube or something similar, and I just don’t always think it would matter enough to people to put in the extra effort. Merp.) It was a really really uplifting appointment, and I feel more and more like this is all real. IT IS!!

All of the kids were pretty over it by the time we left, but Dr. Guselle walked us out to the desk and made sure everyone got set up with a sticker of their choice first 🙂 Pretty perfect that there were Paw Patrol stickers this time around! We got all that we needed, and I booked an appointment for Solly on the way out, since I keep forgetting he needs his one year vaccines!! Its ok, I’m only maybe 6 weeks behind, I’m not as far behind as I’ve been in the past!!

Todays appointment just felt like a great success 🙂 I feel optimistic about our baby and my pregnancy and what is to come. I feel encouraged and excited and thankful. Its a good way to feel at the end of a morning at the doctors!!!

I Had an Ultrasound Today

I mentioned back on the weekend that I had booked an ultrasound for this week, and that I wasn’t sure when to share about it, whether to wait for the series I post on Saturday, or on the day. I’m not excellent at waiting, and SO much of pregnancy is waiting, so I decided to talk about at least some of it today. Because waiting is the worst. And also because I now have some decisions to make that I wasn’t expecting!

We ran the morning fairly normally. The kids got up, ate breakfast at a snails pace, and got dressed to go. We made decent time, miraculously, and doddled in the van for a few minutes before going in to the ultrasound clinic. The last time we took all of the kids into an ultrasound was when I was at the halfway point with Solly. It was at a different clinic, and the kids had done fine. We hadn’t brought anyone more than Solly since then, and just hoped they’d be low maintenance during the scan. At least we were back at our usual place, where each little exam room has a toy corner! Woot!

The kids waited very patiently in the waiting room, and it wasn’t too long before we were called in. We see the same tech every time we go in, which is good. At first, it was a bit strange, because she was very quiet and nervous, it seemed. She saw us a lot during the time that we suffered our miscarriage. So. Many. Ultrasounds. And all to confirm that the baby was gone, rooting for the baby to be gone. It was such a hard time. I knew she was nervous when she first saw us with this pregnancy. We all so badly wanted it to be a positive experience. The more we’ve seen her, she’s loosened up and gotten to know us a bit better 🙂 We like her a lot.

She was very relaxed, even with the crew of children we brought along with us. She asked if everything was going well so far with the pregnancy, and we got right to the scan. As soon as I lifted my shirt up for her to scan my tummy, she commented on how I had grown a little. I can TOTALLY HONESTLY say it warmed my heart. I laughed and said “I hope its all baby in there!”

And sure enough, there was indeed a baby in there 🙂 I cried. Guys, a WHOLE BABY is in there! Two hands, two arms, two legs, two feet, with a big ole head, a little bum, and a beautiful heart, beating confidently 161 times per minute. The baby was tucked a little funny, and the tech had me go pee, but asked me to leave some in there. Guys. Have you ever tried to do that? Its hard! Haha! But I could, so YAY!, for Hailey’s awesome pelvic floor and bladder control! 🙌 I came back feeling much more comfortable, and she gave us a whole other tour of the baby, picking out which legs bones were which, which hand was where, and BEST of all, we got to watch our baby move around! Baby bounced with their feet, and wiggled their hands around lots! It was amazing, and mesmerizing, and brought my heart so much joy. Of course, she couldn’t tell me anything in great detail, but as far as I could tell, it seemed complication-free.

The one thing I did learn that was actually pretty awesome was that the baby was measuring big! Now back in the day, at my first ultrasound, according to my dates, I should have been 5 weeks 5 days, but baby was only measuring 5 weeks exactly. I was sure my baby had actually stopped growing and we just didn’t know it yet. Then about a week and a half later, at a follow up ultrasound, baby was following those dates, just short one day at 6 weeks 3 days. So we went with that date. Well today, based on those dates, I should be 10 weeks 4 days, but instead, baby measured 11 weeks 1 day!!! Lots of numbers to follow, but basically, I’m back to my original dates! I wasn’t terribly worried about dates at this point, but it makes me heart happy that my initial numbers were right 🙂 Mama knows best!

I’ve been a bit floaty since  Now I’m left with a pretty silly quandary that I hope you guys can help with. What in the world do I do now about my blog series? I was doing it on my rollover days, being Saturday, as that was THE DAY I would turn however many weeks. I did my ten week update on Saturday, and now I’m already past eleven weeks. Sooooo what should I do? Keep Saturday’s but skip a week numberwise? Or talk about how the bulk of my 11th week has looked, even though its not over at that point? Should I move the series to Tuesday, to have it on my rollover day, and just skip the 11 week update? Guys, I don’t know! Any thoughts? I know I’ll make the final decision but I’d love to know what makes the most sense to you guys! Care to share?

What a WEIRD Night!!

Did anyone else have a super strange night last night?? To be fair, there were tornado warnings left and right, and the city just twenty minutes from us was experiencing hail and flooding and all kinds of crazy. Here at home, he got one brief but serious downpour, with lots of lightening long afterwards. The lightening was convenient, because we lost power for a decent chunk of time. So obviously, the sky and weather were off, so I was, too.

Too bad the kids were off too :/ Dekker woke up randomly around 10:00 and was talking super loudly. We went in and he was complaining that his water bottle was empty. He was loud enough that he woke Laela and lulled Rowan, too. Thankfully Solly slept through it. Dekker also mentioned he had gotten up to pee but the light wouldn’t turn on. By that point, I had lit a candle, and set it in the bathroom, so both he and Laela took a bathroom break and went back down to bed. Not before Laela terrorized him for a little while, though, knocking his water bottle over constantly and pestering him. We managed to shut them down and eventually they fell back to sleep.

We played a bit of SkipBo on the floor by candle light, and watched the lightening light the sky up in the open fields just across the street from us. It was relaxing, and beautiful, but it was getting so late.

I usually feel kind of strange going to bed when the power is out. I don’t know why, necessarily. I like to know when it comes back on, which is part of it. I also don’t like waking up to the obnoxious beeping that happens when the appliances all gain power again. I just don’t like not knowing, if I can help it. But unfortunately, we couldn’t help it last night.

I don’t even know when we went to bed, but I took my pill and was out like a light. Until around 1:30, that is, when I lulled awake and noticed a light was on somewhere in the house. I woke Brady (aren’t I nice?) and told him there was a light on somewhere. He rolled out of bed and went to find it and turn it off. It was the main bathroom light, likely from before when Dekker had tried to use the washroom, so we didn’t think to check it before we went to bed. As Brady went to turn the light off, he heard a big thump, which turned out to be Laela falling out of bed! Don’t ask me why, but she bit it right when Brady was walking down towards their rooms. So he went in and helped her back into bed, and told her goodnight again. SO weird.

I woke around 6:30, which is not at all my normal. I heard Solly give a couple of good wails, but stopped pretty quickly on his own. I checked the monitor to confirm that he wasn’t stuck between the bars again, which thank goodness, he wasn’t. And then I lay still and tried desperately to fall back to sleep. No dice. Finally, around 7:30, Brady woke up and offered to make coffee for my poor zombie self. Then, we settled in for some Netflix, and within a half hour ish, I was asleep. I think. I woke up again, this time for good, around 8:30, so my last stretch of sleep was short, and weird, and filled with unsettling, frustrating dreams. You know how sometimes that extra ten minutes actually makes things worse? Yup. Me too.

So obviously, I rocked my morning in a pretty overtired manner. I did my best, but I felt so so sick, and grumpy, and so did the kids, my gosh!! No one had slept well, and it showed.

Our very unexciting plan of the day was that Brady was going to take the van in to have a tire patched, and he had offered to bring the big kids with him and to go during nap time, so I could lay in bed and rest a little bit. However, the little miss was having a terrible time of it over lunch and ended up napping today. She fell asleep before both of the little boys!! She was shot. So Brady and Dekker are having a special date together over a coffee and a smoothie at the tire shop, and I’m having a date with myself over a plastic bucket of chocolate eggs. Don’t judge me, hahaha! Its a great date!

I hope some of you got a tad more rest than I did, but I’m sure a handful of you got even less :/ If you have even a moment of opportunity, put those feet up!! Take care of yourselves!!

The Whole “Brain Fog” Thing

My mind is seemingly lost much further on the days when I haven’t slept well, and unfortunately, that’s been most days. Including today. So I’m pretty used to writing lists to make sure I don’t forget anything. I’m ok with that being my normal. I like lists. I liked them before I had children and lost my mind.

Today, though, my mind is positively buzzing!! Its still wildly disorganized, but its just going a mile a minute! I have constant chills, haha! I have TONS of things to think about! From the notice of our property taxes, to positive things happening in the lives of my extended family, to all of my appointments this week, to planning our basement project, to my anxiety around my pregnancy, to being hungry, to our upcoming lake trip, to not being ready to age at the end of the month, to stories in the news, to plans we still have to make and map out for summer, to our grocery list, to EVERYTHING ELSE. And thanks to my general brain fog, I’ve likely already forgotten half of the things that my mind has been rolling over all morning long. Lots of nerve wracking stuff, but lots of positives too! And it makes no sense to make a list, because none of it really needs recording, and no one thing goes with another, it seems, haha! The only thing on my mind that really requires any action is planning out the rest of our summer, which is hard without knowing much of Brady’s work schedule for August. The rest of it is either waiting, processing, or daydreaming. Haha! Yet even with such low pressure, I still feel crazy in the head. And sick and tired beside.

So today’s post is just rambly, but that’s really all I have to offer at this point! I keep getting goosebumps because I keep having thoughts and ideas that either freak me out or make me excited. Also, Brady is going to be home fairly soon, so I can explode some of my conversations onto him, haha!

Or maybe when he gets home, I’ll sleep. Hmmm. Both options sound so good…

What We’ll Now NEED to Buy For the New Baby

I’ve mentioned once or twice that we really don’t have a long list of things to buy for the next baby. We’ve had a good handful of kids already, so we have the bulk of what we need. However, yesterday, Rowan BROKE his crib.

To be fair, both of our cribs we bought second hand. The one Rowan is in went through three kids before we got it, and then Dekker was in it for a pretty decent stretch of time. I don’t even remember how long. Maybe he was 2.5 ish when we turned it into a day bed? I’m iffy on dates. But he was still using it when Laela came along. They were both in cribs/daybeds when we got pregnant with Rowan, and changed things up with Dekker so Rowan would eventually have a crib. So Laela never used that crib. Long explanation long (haha) Rowan is the fifth kid to actively use this crib.

Yesterday, when I went to get the kids up in the morning, Dekker and Laela told me right away that Rowan mattress was “sticking out” on one side. Sure enough, one corner was drooped down to the floor. I figured the screw had wiggled loose or maybe even broken off, and said that I’d get Brady to fix it once he was home in the afternoon. No big loss.

However, when he did come home and lift the mattress out, the steel bracket holding the board in was broken clean in half. There was no easy repair, beyond contacting the company and seeing if they could offer us a replacement part. For the time being, however, it works to just remove the support board entirely, and Rowan is basically sleeping on a mattress on the floor, but with the crib walls around him, haha! Its a tad cage-ish, but thats not that different than a normal crib 😉 So we’ll keep it this way as long as we need, and when the time comes for Rowan to upgrade his way out of a crib, we’ll likely junk whats left of it and buy a new crib for little papoose!!! We’re in no real rush, because let’s be real. Baby will live in a playpen in our room for quite some time first. Still, though, its in the future.

I’m SO excited to buy a new crib!! New or new-to-us doesn’t matter, but I’m excited to find another one and add to it our furniture 🙂 To get to choose a style or find a deal or whatever other details play into it at the time. I just feel like I haven’t gotten to even consider purchasing much more than baby clothes for a good few years, since we have all of the bigger things we need for a new little one. But this will be SO fun!!

I have a pretty long time to wait and search, but its something fun to look forward to 🙂 Along will all the other AMAZING things I’m looking forward to!

Thanks for breaking your crib, Ro. Seriously. I appreciate it.

Expecting the Best: 10 Weeks

The time has come, once again! To be honest, I love doing this series, and part of that is not having to be too creative on a Saturday, to have the layout of my post all organized for me in advance, and then I can just babble about my baby to my hearts content 🙂 Its my favorite day to post. So we begin.

Comparison/Size: This is my favourite comparison yet 🙂 The baby is roughly as big as a Lego guy!! I told the kids and they thought it was hilarious. Which I like, because they’re putting things together and actually picturing a baby as tiny as a Lego guy. Dekker made a joke about taking the baby out and playing with it in his Lego… I told him the baby wasn’t ready to come out yet, but that it was nice that he wanted to play with the baby already. Haha! Oy. Kids. Its usually around this time that I can start to feel the bump of my uterus just above my pubic bone, and unfortunately, I still can’t. The only other time I couldn’t feel it at this point was last time, with Theo, when he had already stopped growing a couple weeks before. So this isn’t the most comfortable I’ve ever felt. I admit that I’ve had my moment of “Why did I share this so early? What if this baby dies too? Why would I start a blog series?!” but I have to bring myself back to the actual answers, which are “I want to share this baby’s life! I want as much support and prayer as I can get! And if something happens and this baby dies, I’ll need just as much, if not more, support.” So we’re rolling with it 🙂 But please do pray that my grapefruiterus (see what I did there?) makes an appearance very soon!

How am I feeling mentally: Well I’d be feeling better if I could feel my uterus!! Haha! I’m anxiously awaiting some kind of milestone to pass. Something. Anything! My little uterus bump. Baby movement. (I know thats still a ways off, don’t worry) Hearing its heartbeat on a doppler. ANYTHING would make me feel a bit less anxious, really. But we wait. I can honestly say I’m not wasting hours worrying and worrying that our baby has died, but I am anxiously waiting for some time to pass so I can feel a bit more comfort.

How am I feeling physically: My nausea is ok. Its somewhat under control, as long as I snack a lot, which isn’t especially normal for me. But I can be abnormal 😉 You guys know that. My biggest beef with my physical health is that I’m not sleeping well AT ALL. My nausea medication is really nice and drowsy, so I don’t struggle at all to fall asleep, but I lull constantly and am so disoriented and wakeful in the nights. I can’t imagine what else I can do for my sleep, but its on my list to speak to my doctor about. That, and my boobs STILL hurt!! SO bad!!

Appointments: I have a doctors appointment next week!! I’m actually kind of unsure how to post about it though. Normally, I’d write that days post about it, but do I save it for Saturday so I can add it to the series? I don’t know. Opinions? I also have an ultrasound next week. Yup, I bit the bullet and booked it. Its time to get some reassurance. I’m ready.

Buys/Wish List: I did it. I bought a baby thing. Its a blanket. I am both excited and embarrassed that I ALREADY bought a baby thing, hahaha! I’m still keeping my eye on that pair of maternity jeans at the Gap, but no good sales. Where are those “no exceptions” sales when you need them? The deals never include denim!! Grrrrr.

How are the kids feeling: They’re VERY curious to SEE the baby. Rowan has taken to lifting up the bottom of my shirt and asking to see the baby. If only it were so simple, lol! They’ve noticed the ultrasound pictures on the fridge, and have asked if they’ll get to come to an ultrasound. Honestly, they could. Selfishly, I kind of would prefer them not to, so Brady and I could just focus and see our little baby, but I know it would be so special for them. So we’ll see. Maybe we’ll bite the bullet and do another one of those fun 3D ones down the road that they could come to.

The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: The best thing about being pregnant this week has been hard to nail down. Honestly, my mind has been so preoccupied with other things. When I do end up thinking about being pregnant, and adding another baby, and all of those things, this week I’ve been left feeling more anxious than excited :/ I guess I can say that the best part of being pregnant this week was thinking ahead and realizing HOW MANY PEOPLE are having a baby around the same time as I hope to!! Because I came out with my news so early, its been so different and funny to be seeing more and more pregnancy announcements, but they’re all due before me, haha! Almost everyone I know who is pregnant is due in December, and I’ll be over here, having my baby in January. Soooo if anyone wants to share secret January pregnancy news with me, I’m ready and waiting, hahaha! Its fun to think about all of the people who I’m pregnant with!

Anything else: We still have Theo’s ultrasound picture on the fridge, along with the ultrasound picture of the new little papoose. The question “which one is the dead baby?” is a tough one to swallow, but I know what they kids are trying to say. I’m actually really happy that they haven’t forgotten their other sibling in Heaven. It gets a little confusing to talk to them about our fifth baby, or our sixth baby, because Theo is their sibling, but we can’t go around telling people we’re expecting our sixth, because that gets ultra confusing. While I’m not shy to share with other people, not every stranger wants or needs to know about our recent miscarriage. So the kids know we had Theo, he’s around, but he’s not like with us, here, physically, in our house. So that explanation is fine with them, and its fine with me. He’s a member of our family, but in a different way. We are expecting our fifth baby to hopefully join us here, in our house. Its good enough for them, and for me.

Another “anything else” is that I’m thinking ahead to the rest of the blog series, and I’m SO excited to do some of those old wives tales that hypothetically (but not actually accurately at all) predict the baby’s gender. When is a good time to do that? I feel like its still too early for lots of them, but some of them won’t make ANY sense until basically almost the end of pregnancy, which will be moot, because we really hope to find out the gender at the halfway point. Sooooo any opinions on that? When’s a good time?

Pictures: My bumpity bump…

Still just bloaty, nothing else really. Not too different. But good to keep a record, I suppose.

Thats it, thats all, folks! If you have a thought on when to do the gender predictions, let me know! Otherwise, I’ll just make up a time and go for it, but I don’t know the rules 🙂 I hope you’ve all enjoyed your Saturday! Brady was gone for the morning, but Jerilee came to help me keep the kids alive, so we’ve all had a super lovely day!

Is It Just Us?

I wonder this every single time it happens, but I never ask. It can’t just be us!!

Does everyone else’s kids get their legs stuck between their crib bars? Its only just for a short time. They’ve all seemed to learn pretty quickly, after a few tries. But its happened to each kid so far where, they’ve clearly had their leg in the air, slipped it through the bars, and then lowered it all the way down. Then they scream and scream until we come running, and find them this way. We have to twist their body around lift their leg all the way back up to free them from their entrapment.

So obviously I’m bringing this up because once again, this has happened to Solly. Its his second go at it in the last three days. And the little punk lodges his leg between the bars on the side of his crib that is against the wall. So its not as easy as just lifting his leg back up, but I have to try and bend his knee the right way at the same time, and when he’s in so much pain, he’s not the worlds most cooperative, I’m sure you can imagine.

So this morning, I freed him amidst his screaming, and then tried to comfort him through breakfast, which seemed to work. During breakfast, he poured milk all over himself and his sleeper was soaked. So I changed his diaper and got him out of his wet clothes, and he took off, so I let him just hang in his diaper.

Over an hour AFTER THAT, he still has this big ole dent in his chubby little thigh 🙁

I remember, when this happened to Dekker, he would have dents on the inside of his thighs too, and they’d stay all day 🙁 Solly’s wasn’t even swollen at this point, but MAN! These chubby kids and their chubby legs!!

This cannot be just us!! Is it? There’s no real remedy beyond them figuring it out and just not doing it anymore, right? Some people have said in the past to use bumper pads, but Laela still stuck her legs past them. And then some people think bumpers are totally dangerous. So I have no idea what “the right answer” is on this!!

Help me feel normal here, just for a minute. Please!

Losing My Mind Over Lunch

Food is hard these days, that isn’t a secret. Its SO hard for me to figure out what I’m hungry for, or what I can stomach, and sometimes its just trial and error, which isn’t fun. But this week, for whatever strange reason, I’ve been hungry for fuller, meatier meals, which was NOT the case in the weeks leading up to this one. Strange, strange changes, all the time.

Leftovers are the easiest lunch for me, because I don’t have to actually prepare anything, and they keep me fuller (and healthier, obviously) than the general snacky crap I end up eating otherwise.

Today, for lunch, I served myself up a decent sized bowl of leftovers from last nights supper. It was about half of what was left. I heated it up and it was gone waaay too fast. I hemmed and hawed and finally decided to bite the bullet and go back for round two. It was just so so good.

And then I lost my mind, and began microwaving my empty bowl. It only happened for a few seconds, thank goodness, before I clued in. My exact thought was “Wow, I loaded up that second serving fast! Or did I?” I did not, and stopped the microwave immediately. And nothing exploded!!! Win!

This is just one example of how I’ve been losing my mind the last few days. But hey, at least I didn’t lose my lunch!

Short Days for the Win

I’m so looking forward to this afternoon. When Brady found out he was going to have a very short day at work, I called my hair girl and scheduled a quick touch up of the shaved side of my head for the afternoon. My morning was so weird and shivery and sick, and while I feel super wiped out, and going out isn’t ideal for me when I feel like this, I’m hopeful that a change of scenery will be good, even if I pay for it with exhaustion a bit later. It’ll be worth it.

When Brady got home, I grabbed a shower and had some lunch. Food is weird. I assume that my shakes are a result from blood sugar and whatever that all is. I’ve been advised to eat every few hours to help with it. But the thing is, I DO! And I’m STILL SHAKY! Its very frustrating, honestly, but I can’t keep a steady hand to save my life. Makes me feel a bit crazy, but I’ll get to talk to my doctor a bit about it next week.

The shakes paired with my constant chill (because whenever I feel sick, I feel cold) makes me just feel a bit on the unstable side, though I know its just the physical feeling of being out of control. If that makes any sense. I’m not explaining myself well, but typing is hard when my hands are so dang shaky!!! It’ll be good to get outside in the blazing heat and force myself to calm down and warm up.

Yikes! Time to get some makeup on and get ready to go! Fresh hair is worth getting up for 😉

When Blogging Every Day Isn’t Easy Anymore

I’m aware my posts are sort of slipping these days. I promise you all, its only for a time. With my current state of legit exhaustion, I’ve been finding regular days pretty hard to get through. And that doesn’t make for enjoyable blog content. So far today, I’ve acted more like a drill sergeant than a mom, accomplished nothing worth mentioning, cleaned up countless spills that I have made myself with my lazy hands, while leaving the soaked cloths and towels in the kitchen sink, next to the dirty dishes. That being said, the kids are alive, fairly happy (which is pretty wondrous actually), and fed. Now that the little boys are sleeping, a show is on and the big kids are relaxing for a bit. Now is usually my chance to blog.

I have a list of blog ideas that are somehow family/pregnancy related that I made for moments like these, but they are on my laptop, and that’s up in my room. And I literally CANNOT will myself to stand and get there. Instead, you’re getting yet another whiny post. It WILL get better, I promise it will.

Just think. In my past pregnancies, on days like this, I had to basically lie through it on here. I couldn’t just be straight up with you guys about how I was feeling. It was so hard. I hoped that, by being open sooner, I would have an easier time during the first trimester struggles. I do feel somewhat better about it, because at least I can talk about whats going on, but its not a whole lot easier :/ I still feel like a total downer. I assure you, I am trying.

I’m so thankful that Brady isn’t going to work a long day today. Help will be on the way in a couple of hours. Until then, we rest and relax and zone a little. It could be a tad bit more relaxing, if not for the jackhammering outside and the new awareness of Laela sniffling every five seconds. Remind me to stay as far away from her as possible! I do not want a cold right now. But likely, neither does she.

We’ll all make it through this weird, hard, tired time. I promise, next time I manage my way upstairs, I’ll look at my list of blog ideas, so we can avoid too many more posts like this 😉

We’ve got this. I’ve got this. Or at least thats what I’m telling myself.