The Daily Hailey

So I’m definitely not all better yet, but today has been better than yesterday! The night was smoother than the one before, with fewer wake ups and fewer coughing fits. I can’t recall having a cold where I’ve woken up in mid-coughing fit, but that has been the case this time around and YIKES I am not a fan of that!! Waking up gagging my throat to pieces is just so painful and disruptive, and then to try to get back to sleep afterwards is so frustrating. But I can happily say that I woke this morning because of a full bladder, not a coughing fit. So thats a win for me!!

Once again, Brady was in town, and was able to take Dekker to school and Laela to preschool before heading to work. My mom lovingly offered to come over so I could pick Laela up without taking the little boys with me. It was the first time I’ve poked my head outside in a few days and I honestly didn’t mind it. Hopefully this is the strong solid upswing I’ve been wanting, and from here on out, things will just be better and better 🙂 I miss fresh air, and I know the kids do, too. Maybe soon all (or even most) of us will be healthy, and able to be outside a little bit more. I think we’d all like that.

I took a load off while the three kids napped, and Brady finished work early and was able to pick Dekker up from school. Its been a relaxed day, and I’m so thankful to be feeling even just a little bit better. No more excuses, Hailey! There are very few days left to finish up out to-do list before Christmas! Its less than ONE WEEK away!!

Every part of me wants to write the blog Brady suggested. It would go like this.

Sick….

I was also offered the option of

Sleeping…..

However, while my dry sense of humour might find that hilarious, some people might not think it counts as a full post. And those people would likely be right. So, onward we go!

I feel today about the same as I felt yesterday. Pretty deathy. Or, deadly? But I definitely don’t mean “deadly” in the sexy way. Not. At. All. I feel pretty horrendous. I’m stuffed, and coughing, and I have a sharp headache on the very back of my skull that refuses to quit.

Thank goodness for this week of work! Brady does have to work this week, but he’s working in town, doing a reno for a friend. He couldn’t start as early as usual, obviously, so he was able to take Dekker to school, and I could stay resting at home. But he did eventually have to go to work. But due to their baby napping right at the perfect time, Brady came home and helped the kids with lunch and put them down for their naps. I went to lay down upstairs and have dozed in and out while watching YouTube and playing Free Cell. So, once again, I’ve accomplished nothing but I am just sick, and scared to push it. I know a cold is such a minimal issue, but its hard not to live in full paranoia. So, I’m just taking it really really easy.

Brady finished todays work just in time to run back to school and get Dekker. They’ll be home soon, and we’ll somehow try to all be together for a bit.

I feel like the theme of the last year or so has been “just keep pushing on.” We have had a lot of heaviness, and I promise this won’t be a long drawn out post about the like. There are more of those to come, I’m sure 😉 but not today.

Today, however, was once again pushing through! Brady and I were up to lead our church in some familiar Christmas songs. Sickness has trickled into our house once again, and yesterday, I woke up woke up with a sore throat. So I knew my turn was coming. But I figured if I was good to myself, it wouldn’t have to advance too much in one day, and Sunday would be fine. However, I had a TERRIBLE sleep and woke up feeling like death itself. I could barely get a word out without erupting into a coughing fit, and then gagging to high heaven. It was not ok, and being in this lovely state of knocked-up-ness that I am, there was NO option for DayQuil or anything good and strong to pull me through. Brady and I had a very quite, short conversation and decided that I would stay home. I could be completely useless at church, and he could figure something out. But within minutes, we changed our minds and knew I had to get there and help. There was really no other option.

I’ll be honest. It wasn’t pretty. We had such fun songs chosen that neither Brady or I could sing anymore, being that neither of us had strong (or any) voices, so we scrapped three fun ones and added an extra to the three we still had. In speaking further with some of the people at church, it was suggested that we have a bit more congregational singing, so we added a few to the list last minute that we hadn’t even had a chance to run through. By the end of our first chunk of practice, we had to save our voices. So when the service began, I admitted to the congregation that neither of us had voices, so we needed loud powerful singing from them, and they delivered. I’m not sure we’ve ever led an entire morning by just singing the first line of every verse of a song, but it worked. Again, not pretty, but no one seemed too upset about it. Sickness happens, and we are prone to a lot of it! People lovingly thanked us and supported us afterwards, which always helps, especially when the whole thing felt klutzy and thrown together. Thank you, beautiful church, for taking us as we are!!

This morning was one more commitment for the season that we can cross off the list! There are still a couple small ones left but they’re pretty minimal 🙂 We are getting closer and closer to the Christmas break, and I am very much looking forward to it. Hopefully our colds will be gone for Christmas since we’re having them in advance. 🤞

We had my parents over for a waffle brunch this morning. It was delicious and a nice time to chat and catch up, as it always is. Brady and I had things a little less together than we usually do, so the kitchen was a mess and everything needed a refresh. But thankfully, they are part of our non-judgemental group of friends, so we all just rolled with it. Who cares whats stacked in the sink when there are waffles on the table, right? Right.

Straight from brunch, I brushed my teeth, and headed into the city for a wax and a nail appointment! I’ll talk more about those next week when I *gulp* finally kick off my blog series. I have been chewing at my hands and fingers and nails like there is no tomorrow for a long time now. I kicked the childhood habit for a while, but losing my two boys this year absolutely did not help my anxiety, and I am BACK on the crazy looking finger biting bandwagon. Getting gel nails is my attempt to leave my hands alone, and I’m praying it will work, because the after effects of all that chewing hurts!! And getting pregnant has not made it easier :/ So, nails. It was a good appointment, and I look forward to maintaining them and hopefully saving my nails and hands from all the unnecessary pain.

While I was out, Brady sent the big kids over to our neighbours house, because, once again, they were invited over to do something fun and festive! Today, Dekker and Laela went over to our wonderful friends house to bake cookies!! I found out a couple of hours later, when I got home, that they were not simply baking cookies together, but they were decorating them as well!!

I was briefly embarrassed, but then decided to just be SO thankful that someone took my kids under their wing, and included them in a fun Christmas tradition when I don’t have the strength/energy/patience/gumption to do it. It really takes a village, and we have some AMAZING people in ours! The kids were returned to us, arms full of Christmas presents, and a large tin of cookies. Its possible the amount of sprinkles weigh more than the actual cookies, but isn’t that how they’re supposed to be? 😉

All in all, I’d call this a FABULOUS day! We ate a delicious brunch. I got out for a bit. Brady got some downtime. The big kids got to decorate (and eat) cookies with people they really like. I got my nails done, and listened to new music.

Now, we just hope for an enjoyable, smooth evening! Because tomorrow we’re leading singing at church, Brady without a voice, and myself with a sore throat. Let’s hope Carrie can still sing…

I’m SO proud of Brady! A while back, he was asked to participate in a career fair for a group of high school kids. He was recruited to do a career fair two year ago here for our local high school, but this year, our high school joined up with a couple of other small town schools in the division, so it was bigger, and to Brady, it was more nerve wracking.

He almost said no to the invitation. He almost did last time, too. Brady does not credit himself as a public speaker. Not at all. He was pretty nervous as the date to decide snuck up on him, and he told me he was going to back out of it this year. He said he remembered, last time, he only felt better once it was over. I’ll admit that I pushed him. I didn’t make him accept, but he continued to think about it, and did finally say yes. I was THRILLED, and he was NERVOUS. I saw the honour in him being invited back, but he just saw it as a public speaking gig that he did not feel comfortable participating in.

He and I went over his presentation last night, and he wrote it out smoothly and in a good order. He was still nervous, but I think it helped to go over it with someone. I could ask questions at the natural places and he filled in his info along the way.

He left this morning in pretty good spirits. I waited anxiously to hear from him, trying not to text him between sessions, and to give him some space. But I was SO eager!! Finally, the guy was done and on his way home 🙂 

He said it went really well, and he warmed up right after the first session. I can definitely relate to that feeling, even as someone who is more comfortable speaking in front of a group. But it was a nice quick morning, three short sessions about running his own business and how he got to be where he is. I’m a VERY proud wife 💗 I feel like its such an honour for him to be asked to participate in something like this, to teach kids about how to succeed and how to be GREAT at what they do! He’s the guy to go to on the subject, for sure!!

For all your finishing carpentry needs, Brady is your guy!!!

I thought it might be fun to just set the scene that I’m currently in, as a funny memory for me to look back on 🙂 Its totally normal, but I’m catching all of the cute things today, and I ALWAYS want to focus on the positive parts of the day!

I took everyone along to pick Dekker up from school, and we’re now all back home. Dekker unpacked his backpack (or packpack, if you’re one of my kids) and now, everyone is having a brain break, watching some tv. Please hold your judgement. I know it seems bad to plunk him in front of the tv upon arriving home, but he needs to just rest and come off the day. He is currently sharing a loveseat with Rowan, holding his newest toy car that he got from finishing a reading chart. He’s always very proud when he reaches that goal, and treasures the prize he gets. Rowan is beside him, cuddling his two stuffed foxies. Ro chose the show, so they’re watching Clifford. In the episode, Clifford is looking into other backyards around him, noticing the other dogs have stuffed toys, and that he doesn’t. Rowan mourned along with him, “He’s got no one to love…” It was pretty adorable. Clifford licked the window to get the attention of his owner, to which Dekker chastised “You’re not supposed to lick windows. That’s gonna be a problem.” Story of his life, apparently.

Laela is sitting in the one spot on the big couch that the tv can still be viewed from. Our Christmas tree has monopolized the rest of the space. What are you gonna do? She’s snuggled in a blanket, giggling quietly through the show. She napped after lunch, but you wouldn’t know based on how snuggled in she is right now.

Solly is walking around the living room, wearing only his diaper. I haven’t talked about it on here before, I don’t think, but Solly isn’t a great pooper :/ Poor kid will LOVE to read back on this one day. But he just isn’t. We’re always working on it, but its hard to force him to drink, because that he’s still pretty young and doesn’t exactly obey everything you say to him, at 18 months old. I can’t make him drink. So we’re constantly working on his diet and doing all of the things. But when he wears clothes, he struggles even harder to poop. Its just easier when its just a loose diaper. So every time I notice him starting to poop (for instance, the moment we got home from school) I strip him down. I fear I’m creating a naked pooper, but I suppose there could be worse things. So for now, he’s just walking laps around the living room, occasionally making a stop at one of the kids-sized recliners, where he sits and watches a minute or two of tv, before sauntering on again.

They’re all nice and occupied, and I’m SO tired, so I’m doing this. Blogging, playing some free cell, and drinking water. Do you remember a while ago, a friend of mine took some pictures of me? She came by again just a week or so ago, and some of the pictures she took are posted on her website, so that was a fun thing to wake up to, and to be looking through again now. I’m very much hoping there will be more to come along the way. 💜

So we’re relaxing. And I like it. Brady is working a full, long day today, and the five of us here at home are feeling sluggish. Hopefully that means we’ll be low key when he arrives home and not suuuuuper grouchy, haha! But until then, I’m enjoying the afternoon with my littles. With their inquisitive little eyes, soft little cheeks, and hilarious antics that I hope never ever stop. They’re SO good to be around. I’m so very blessed, and today its shining nice and bright and evident. Some days are so much harder, but this little soft setting right now is so sweet.

Like I said yesterday, we didn’t know Brady’s schedule until the last minute, so last night, he found out he had two short jobs to do today. One was just helping a guy wrap something up, so a couple of hours, and the other was supposed to be 20 pieces of baseboard. For reference, usually, measuring/cutting/nailing 20 pieces of baseboard takes Brady about a half hour. So, again, I figured at least he had a short day.

As tends to happen (you guys can ALL relate to this) things turned out to be a bit different. The first job went smoothly but the second job turned out to be 20 full lengths of baseboard, and a pretty complicated place to work in. The twinge in his back didn’t help matters either, and it turned into a longer, fairly discouraging day for him. Meanwhile, I was disappointed that the plans had changed, and that I wouldn’t get to spend some daytime with him.

Don’t get me wrong. I am THRILLED that Brady has work, and can provide for us after a long slump this summer and fall. Its been a long road, and I’m so happy that he can go to work at a job that he likes, and we can keep living our life. But you’ve obviously noticed he’s been home a lot, and I’ve really enjoyed that! In fact, I think I can safely say that he has, too! Brady and I love being together, and its SO nice to wrangle the kids together when given the chance. Especially when I’m so so tired.

Laela has been in a BAD state recently, so she’s been napping with the boys again, and I can honestly say that it makes a difference. She’s in way better shape in the evenings, so while she’d been nap-free (unless she’s quite sick) for at least 1.5 years, she’s back at it. Its good for her, but its been such a treat for me, and today was no different. Everyone went down beautifully, and it was silent from noon until maybe 2:45. SUCH a great nap. I was wiped out along with everyone else, so I finally gave in and let myself have a nap as well, but it was just short, and I set an alarm to go get Dekker from school. The nap was nice in the moment, but I was VERY groggy upon waking up. Oy!

Thank goodness, my mom had called earlier and offered to come over while I picked Dekker up, which I gratefully accepted. I was so spent, it was such a relief not to have to bring everyone along when they were still very nice and quiet.

Getting out and to school felt good. The breath of fresh air was welcomed, and its always nice to go have a short chat with some of the people I only see at school. However, I learned some very sad news from a friend while I was there, which definitely put a damper on my heart ❤️ It was hard to know where to go from there. But of course, I went where I had to, where I picked Dekker up from his classroom. He was very concerned, having found a friend’s hoodie left behind. His teacher and I assured him that his friend would find it tomorrow, and everything would be more than fine. So he agreed to leave school 😉 I love that side of him.

I took him home, where I chatted with my mom for a few more minutes before she headed on home. I got the nappers up, and everyone was in good shape. Happy and rested and playing. I rested in the recliner amidst the kids until Brady came home.

It didn’t turn out to be as long of a work day as he had anticipated. He has some important days coming up and needed to save his back. It was very clear upon starting that second job that it would not be finished in one day, so he did his part, and another finisher will probably complete it in the days to come. It was just good to have him home.

I’m writing this upstairs in my bed while Brady is feeding the kids supper, and all the kids are coughing. Sigh. Not great. They need baths but it might be an epic meltdown. I’m not sure what we’ll end up doing. Brady and I are both thoroughly drained.

All I want is to eat a bowl of ice cream in the bathtub. What a weird day.

I finally did it. I forgot Laela’s show and tell. Its such a small thing, but she just loves show and tell, and was sick the last time it was her turn. I cried when I discovered I had forgotten it. There are just too many things swirling in my head and I HATE that I missed one.

I love a good list, yet I’m actually been avoiding making one this season, because most of it just feels too big and daunting. Those of you who have been around me anytime recently know that really, anything extra is just too much. “Extra” is hard right now. Yet, “extra” still needs doing. So I bit the bullet and made a big, scary list of all thats left to do before Christmas comes.

This week was going to be fairly wide open, but as things tend to happen, it is actively filling, and things are getting squished tightly between other things, and I just know something is going to get skipped. So, rather than resting my exhausted body during the kids’ naptime, I wrapped presents. I LOVE wrapping presents, truly, but wrapping them upstairs in our room was not ideal. It would’ve been better had I vacuumed first, lol! If you haven’t seen it in a while, Brady has a HUGE beard now. Its magnificent, don’t get me wrong, but it sheds these disgusting 6″ pube-like hairs all over the house, and you would not believe how many I taped to presents. It was very tedious removing the tape and removing the hair and then resticking the less-than-sticky tape. This probably is far too much information about the state of our house, but what can you do? I suppose I could just not share it on the internet… Anyway, I wrapped for an hour or two this afternoon, and then went to get Dekker from school, brought him home, went to pick up some fundraiser stuff, and then came back and kept wrapping. I’m not quite done, as some stuff is big and weird and I don’t know how to wrap it, I haven’t put tags on the teacher gifts yet, some things are still coming in the mail, and some things I’m just gun shy about actually wrapping and putting under the tree, like the little stuffed toy that we bought our little bambino. I’m scared for that to all go bad again. Ugh.

I wrapped until my back hurt, so I’m taking a break blogging in my bed. I’ll admit, I’m a bit peeved that I wrapped SO MUCH today and still can’t take it off my list. Merp merp. But its getting there.

I still have to mail some stuff out, crochet a gift, bake at least for the preschool Christmas thing but hopefully for our family as well, finish wrapping gifts, wash bedding, buy another gift or two, clean off the island, clean bathrooms, type up minutes from a meeting, install coat hooks in the entrance, aaaand a few other things. I know its all doable, and the things that could wait just should. But right now it just all feels big. BUT! I wrapped LOTS of gifts today, the island is at least a bit better, and a drawer in that kitchen that was overflowing with a mess is no longer that way, thanks to Brady. I have a scheduling debacle clarified and solved, and best of all, I made a good list that is helping me not forget anything important.

I feel more together than I did this morning, so I’m calling it a win. Tonight we have a music practice for Sundays worship service, and then tomorrow, Brady might be working, or he might not. Thats probably my least favorite part of his job 😉 Occasionally, his schedule is like this and it makes me a little crazy. But either way, I have nothing up beyond taking Dekker to and from school, so no excuses not to get things done!!!

How are your to-do lists looking? Am I the only one left scrambling?? Say it ain’t so!

Rowan and I headed back to our doctors office for yet another follow up regarding his hearing. This time, we were finally able to see Dr. Guselle! You guys all know I’ll choose her care over just about anyone elses, so I’ve been waiting to speak to her in person on the subject. Luckily, Rowan really likes her, and was very comfortable with the idea of having her check his ears. He’s a pro by now.

We were fairly early, and he and I hung out in the waiting room for a while, admiring the Christmas tree and naming the animals on the wall. When it was our turn, Dr. Guselle came and got us herself. She immediately asked “Was that your van in the parking lot?” We’ve jokingly talked about our big bus in appointments before, as a usual “big family” topic of conversation. I laughed and said it was probably ours that she had seen, yes. She told me she had pictured something totally different, and thought it actually looked really nice! We made a couple jokes about the vans that shuttle convicts around before getting down to the appointment itself.

Ro was totally content with having her check his ears. He tucked his hair to the side and turned his head each way. She surprised me by commenting that his ears looked the same to her, as opposed to the reports that his left ear was plugged and his right ear was clear. I asked if all had cleared then, and she quickly corrected me. No, in fact, both appear to be clogged and fluid-filled. All the same points came up, however, with his language being awesome and himself not being sick. She agreed with me that the situation is unresolved, and that the next logical step is to take him to an ears, nose, and throat specialist. We actually received a letter a few days ago with a date for Rowan to see an ENT, so we’re already on the list! However, his appointment isn’t until the end of February. It feels far. But thats where we are for the moment, anyway. She gave me a brief rundown of how things could play out at the ENT appointment, but we have time. Once we covered that, she asked if we had any appointments or tests last week. I was a bit puzzled, and said no. She I stared at her, and she stared back at me. After a few weird seconds, I asked what she was talking about.

“I mean ultrasounds! Oh, I jumped over to you. Haha! Join me.”

So Rowan’s appointment shifted gears in a fun turn of events, and became an impromptu prenatal appointment! We didn’t go too far in depth, because it really was Rowan’s appointment, but we talked a bit. I told her the medication was kind of screwing me up, but the only real way to help with that is to ween off of it, and I’m pretty hesitant to do that already, so early in the game. I told her I tried to go a bit longer between scans but that it was definitely a stretch. She encouraged me not to stretch that far, and to take the weekly scans for a little while still. In a few weeks, we’ll easily be able to find a heartbeat on a doppler in the office, and normally thats a point of safety, but I told her I feel like I’m going to be jittery for longer than that. I want to see my baby past that 16.5 week point where we lost Jamin. She got that. Baby movement will also help, but knowing that the baby’s placenta is once again in front of the baby, it will take longer to feel the movement than it would if the placenta was behind the baby. Stinking anterior placenta. All of that aside, I felt encouraged and relieved to be back in touch with her. I know I’m supposed to find some extra comfort in being seen by a specialist, but I just miss having my own doctor. I feel so much safer with her. Hopefully once we’re through the second trimester, I’ll be able to transfer back to her.

Rowan was so content throughout the appointment. There was one moment halfway through where he was standing in front of me, and then leaned back with his face up towards mine, and made kissy sounds. It was SO sweet. So I’d say something to Dr. Guselle, smooch Ro, and say the next part. I couldn’t just ignore his advances, haha! But eventually, the appointment ended, and the three of us left the appointment room in search of stickers for Rowan. He picked a little bunny with a carrot, and thanked her very politely. He was just so dang sweet about it. She wished us luck on the rest of our date, and off we went. I love seeing Dr. Guselle. I always feel better.

Ro and I made a quick stop for some tubs of ice cream before heading home. I’ve been just about aching for ice cream, lol, so we picked two kinds and headed home. It was a great date.

I am now completely wiped out, haha! Not surprising, I know. I literally came home and instantly took my sleeping pill, sooooo that just never helps. I actually have to be away for a little bit this evening and be useful in some way, so wish me luck! Energy is lacking, but Brady is home tomorrow!!! 🎉🎉🎉 So that will help a LOT. There is still so much to do in the coming days, but lots to look forward to! I need to focus on just going one day at a time. And today was a good day 🙂

🎄

As you may have guessed, or learned for yourself, it is SO much easier not to go to church most Sundays. We are working hard to get back into the habit of attending again, so unless we’re all contagious and sick, we’re making a solid effort to go. This morning gave us a pretty serious run for our money, however, and I juuust about called it all off about ten minutes before we had to go.

All the kids were struggling, but most notably, Solly Wolly could not get it together. Just a few days ago, he cut 3/4 eye teeth in the same day. He slept like a rock those days, and it was a great success. This last one seems to be giving him a run for his money, and our money, by default. And by “money,” I mean sanity. He was wailing consistently, and we discovered that he had a little poop in his diaper. But he screamed through the diaper change, and for a LONG while after that. Nothing would resolve it. I finally left the room, as his screaming was starting to make me a little bit crazy, and he literally slow-crawled after me (yup, he walks ALL the time, but not this morning, apparently) and lay at my feet, continually wailing. No, picking him up, singing, walking him around, nothing did it. Yet, to church we went.

Guys, we tried. It was SUCH a hard morning. Brady was doing laps with Solly and if he even leaned over to whisper to one of us, Solly would squeal angrily or slap at the bench like a maniac. It was SO frustrating!!

Brady finally tried to join us, but Solly started screaming worse than before and I took my turn. He recovered fairly quickly, and I could tell he was tired. I had hopes that he would fall asleep on me like he did the other morning, but at home, when that had happened, he had been sitting on my lap, crying into my chest for a few minutes until he just petered out. In the church service, I don’t exactly have the option to let him cry for a few minutes. We tried briefly to rejoin the service but he just wrestled and thrashed like an animal and when I made him sit still, he started screaming. It just ground my brain into pieces and I fled the service once more. I walked past a few ladies standing at the back, who appeared to be drenched in compassion for me. I told them we shouldn’t have come today. One of them lovingly walked me over to the little back room kind of specifically set up for women and little babies to be in if they’re not up for the service that day. We found Solly a toy to hold, and she and I visited. Instead of playing, Solly finally fell asleep. He slept all slumped over on me through the whole service.

I could finally breathe a little, and while I admit we completely missed the message of the service, I had a really lovely chat with a friend about family, which is obviously one of my favorite topics of conversation 🙂 I rarely get to just sit and chat with this friend, so I solidly enjoyed spending that hour or so with her <3 And Solly thoroughly enjoyed his nap!

We made it home, had lunch, and we’re hoping the rest of the day goes somewhat smoothly. Rowan is napping, so that’s great. Solly is still wiped out, but who knows if he’ll sleep now that he napped through church. Dekker and Laela are having quiet time, but I’m wondering if we should’ve put Laela down for a nap :/ Whoops. And Dekker is off the wall. Has been ALL day. Its great to have energy, but I wonder when the crash will come. Hmmm…

All in all, it felt like a pretty chaotic morning, and I’m pretty tired. But, let’s hope this afternoon is a good reprieve for everyone so we can enjoy our evening at my parents place!

At the VERY least, I’m glad we went to church, if for no other reason than to just stay in the habit. And we’ll be there next week too, leading music!! Go, us!