The Daily Hailey

Brady and I have been watching House again. We watched it years ago, and as my anxiety mounted over those years, shows like that left me too stressed out to sleep. The fact that we can easily watch it now says one of two things. Either my mental health is perfect (HA!) and I can more easily separate from that stuff. Or it means our life has been traumatic enough that the stuff on tv doesn’t even come close to our reality. (ding ding ding!) Lol! Feeling a little dark today, pardon me.

Since all of our hospital stuff and our new medical knowledge, medical shows are more enjoyable. I’m not saying they’re realistic, but definitely easier to predict. Its actually really funny how often someone will have some weird symptom and we can pinpoint the direction the show is moving in. Apparently everyone who twitches has a neurological condition, everyone at one point or another will cough up blood, and no one, EVER, will have lupus, though they consider it for absolutely every case.

We giggle.

The other day I had a good laugh over an episode opening scene. A female patient had come in with spontaneous paraplegia. From the waist down, she had lost all feeling and movement. Then someone called the doctor into her room urgently with a discovery. They proceeded to stab her knee with a needle, and her leg twitched.

Everyone was agast! WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?!?!

And Dr. House, looking very serious, says “It means she’s not paralyzed.”

And we paused the show and had a GOOD laugh! Not because we think anyone is stupid, but because it was just so funny to see a doctor on a medical show NOT KNOW what paralysis is!!

This has motivated me to share a lesson with you guys! You might already have pieced it together over the last year, but in case you didn’t, I’m going to give you some info that I also probably wouldn’t know if not faced with what we’ve experienced in the world of paraplegia.

A complete spinal cord injury (SCI) means that the spinal cord has been severed. To my understanding, that leaves a person without ANY feeling or ANY function below their height of injury.

However…

An incomplete spinal cord injury does exist! This is what Brady has 🙂 It means that his spinal cord remains in tact. In Brady’s case, his tumour had eaten away some of his right spinal cord. By removing the tumour, a piece of his spinal cord went with it. But just a piece. With that, Brady’s nerves were badly damaged in his surgery. Not because of bad surgical work, but because they just had to be. NONE of them were severed! This is a really big deal, and a huge win for him!

While Brady has been branded with the lovely title of “permanently paralyzed,” his paralysis is NOT a completely numb thing.

If you stab Brady’s knee with a needle, it will twitch.

If Brady’s leg has an itch, it twitches like crazy.

If Brady’s leg has rain fall on it, it twitches.

And I can promise you he is indeed paralyzed.

Thats really all I have to say. Paralysis doesn’t mean he is numb. Its even defined as such. Paralysis refers to “the loss of ability to move (and sometimes to feel) in part or most of the body.” It specifies “in part.” Also only sometimes does it affect the feeling. Its a very wide definition. It can be very simply defined as a problem moving the body, due to disease or injury.

A paraplegic is someone who has full or partial paralysis of the legs and lower body.

A quadriplegic is someone who has full or partial paralysis including both arms and both legs.

Thats really all I wanted to say. There is such a HUGE amount of information out there, and I know we wouldn’t know the tip of the iceberg having not lived through it ourselves. I know how hard our close people work to really know about SCIs and paraplegia and wheelchair usage and accessibility and all that good stuff. So please, if you have a question, ask! Don’t feel silly 🙂 We would LOVE to educate the people who follow along and who want to know!

I’m closing the blog off by stealing a bit from an old blog, because I think it ties it all in.

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The level, or the ‘”height of injury.” This is labelling the highest post of his spine that was affected by his injury. There are four sections of the spine. The upper back is the cervical spine (C), ribs are thoracic (T), lower is lumbar (L), and the very lowest is sacral (S). From the section of spine, then, its counted by vertebrae. Brady’s tumour affected his T7-T11 vertebrae, but the surgery began at T6.

The height of Brady’s injury is T6.

Lastly, SCIs are either complete or incomplete. Believe it or not, complete is worse. “Complete” means the spinal cord was fully severed at the height of injury. Brady is fortunate to have an incomplete injury, meaning that he still has nerve function between his brain and the part of his body below the injury.

All of this being said, in the medical world, Brady’s SCI is a T6 incomplete.

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Boom. Educated.

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Ask us questions 💜 We are SO happy to talk.

With the very heavy week weighing hard on me, you may have noticed I’ve been a tad one track minded 😆 Oof. We’re still there, but I figured I’d tell you a couple of other things from the last few days.

We went to Home Depot the other day to find an item for my that will bump my crocheting up yet another level. Albeit a small level, it still counts 🙂 Yay professionalism!

Speaking of crocheting, baskets are still coming along nicely!

The same day as our run to Home Depot, we got side swiped by a semi. That really sucked. He tore our mirror off and kept on driving. We drove next to him until we were stopped at a red light. Brady got his attention and they both rolled down their windows. He denied responsibility, muttered something under his breath, and took off. Sooooo we chased him and got his info and called his boss. Still working on getting that sorted out. The repair will either cost us $200 in deductibles or it will cost them $1100 to keep it private. We’ll see.

Rowan brought home his new years resolutions. I loved this one. He’s doing a lot of thinking these days. I have to talk more about him again soon. He had a really thorough, informative doctors appointment the other day, finally.

Anniversary food was big ole steak with blue cheese on top. And crispy parm potatoes, which I wholeheartedly recommend making, because they are crazy easy, crazy good, and finger food. YUM! The cheese looks mouldy but it is ridiculously good. It makes a very basic steak seem super fancy.

The day we went out on a date, Cher watched the kids, and she made snowmen with Laela and Wavy! None of the boys wanted to go outside, but the weather was WAY too nice to stay inside, so the ladies went out for a bit and made snowmen!

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The last picture you saw yesterday. Brady’s physio appointment was such an encouragement. Even with WAY too long of a stretch of time between appointments, considering Christmas and covid, Brady had made beautiful progress. His hips were stronger. His right ankle was stronger. His walking was better. His physiotherapist hadn’t even had the chance to see him since he got his new brace, so there was a lot to catch up on. Meanwhile, throughout his appointment, many other therapists would interrupt the conversation and say they saw our ad on tv. Everyone was SO excited and encouraging. They were all happy to have finally seen the kids, too, which felt warm and personal. Our social worker was even there and stopped to chat for a bit about our lives and details. I have to say, we are incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to be situated at that particular rehab facility. It is an incredible warm, loving, positive place. Once you’re in there, you always have those relationships, it seems. I am so grateful for the people working at City Hospital on the 7th floor rehab.

Its been a FULL week. Oof. Waking up this morning, every joint in my body was weak and exhausted. I could hardly move. But soon, my body will find true rest again, and the days will feel more normal now.

Hopefully the two year mark doesn’t hit quite this hard 😅

I have nothing to defend. I know this with confidence. But I will be honest and say posts like todays post are HARD to write out for a number of reasons. It is hard to recount traumatic events. It is hard to press myself to write eloquently when my heart, brain, and body are grossly overloaded. It is HARD to be vulnerable with my feelings when I know for a fact there are people who read along who overtly dislike me. It is HARD to share personal things sometimes. But I’m going to try.

I have felt apprehensive about this day for a while now. I think that makes sense. Brady and I have both sensed last years events in our bodies for a couple of days now. We are fatigued in a different way. Our bodies are stressed. One year ago, in this moment right now, Brady was under the knife, receiving a life altering surgery. One year ago today, our lives were shaken up and changed undeniably.

I will absolutely NEVER forget that day.

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Hugging Brady and sending him off alone to go have his surgery felt like I was sending him off to war. Truly. I only bawled publicly and alone in the hospital mall for a moment or two before my dear friend, Carrie, showed up from around a corner and scooped me up in a hug. We both cried. It sucked, but I was so relieved to have her. 💜

I lurked at the hospital all afternoon, waiting to hear from Brady’s surgeon. It took hours. It felt like weeks. But it happened. His surgeon called me to tell me he was through surgery. He said he felt hopeful that he might’ve gotten it all, but that his tumour was worse than he had anticipated. He said he had very little hope, if any, for his right leg. He told me its possible Brady would never regain any use of his right leg. Ever. These were scary times. But I was just so relieved that he was through.

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With God’s hand in his healing, Brady has defied all the odds, and has worked HARD to regain more function than anyone thought he would have. His legs continue to strengthen, pleasantly surprising ALL health care professionals along the way.

Today, we found ourselves at City Hospital for a very overdue rehab appointment. As Brady did his exercises and as his physio was SO encouraged by his progress, I was hit over and over by the fact that his legs work the way they do. They both work! Sure, they work differently. They both are completely different in what they can and cannot do. But an entire leg wasn’t supposed to work anymore, and it does!!!

This one, in fact.

This leg right here that Brady is able to lift from the hip, even against some resistance, was never ever going to move independently again. And look 💜 It does.

Surgery was both a hard choice and an easy choice. We knew the surgery carried a possibility that Brady would be left paralyzed. But not doing the surgery would leave the fast growing cancer cells free to climb up to their choice location – the brain. I remember stumbling over my words and saying to Dr. Fourney “We can’t not do it, hey?” And he shook his head and said something along the lines of “There is no time to waste.”

One year ago, we chose Brady’s life over his legs, and our life has only richened since then. God has created Brady in His image, and we trust with ALL of our hearts that His plan is far greater than we have ever pictured! I am incredibly excited to see where He takes us because we can say with confidence – we have NO IDEA where that is yet!

God gives and takes away, but we continue to praise His name 💜

Thank you, Lord, for bringing us through this wild, stormy weather. Our hearts and arms are open to whatever or wherever You bring us next!

We have felt so much love and care over these last couple of days. I mean, more so the last year, but I’m speaking specifically about the last days. Our anniversary is a beautiful time, but it was actually heavy for me even before Brady’s surgery. You might not remember, but Dekker’s eye surgery was right in this window of time as well, and the memory of how that all went down was pretty traumatizing. That fell on February 11th. So it was always a difficult memory that would start nagging at me around now. The year that happened, it obviously overshadowed our anniversary, which is fine because our marriage does not depend on a February date. Not in the slightest. But now we have even bigger fish to fry right around the same time! 😅 Oof!

Yesterday, we were given the chance to go out for the afternoon and evening together, just Brady and I. Cher used her ONE rest day to babysit the kids, receive them from school, feed them, and put them to bed.

Meanwhile, Brady and I perused a couple of stores, and managed to buy him some pants that actually work for him (this is a real win!) as well as some kitchen stuff for home, and the lake, and we even scored some Christmas and bday gifts for the kids! It was a super successful, restful time together.

We actually went and sat in a restaurant for the first time in I don’t know how long, and enjoyed a supper together. Our server was really personable and chatty, and the food was great! While we waited for our bill, an older couple came up to our table and inquired “Have we seen you tv?” That was a good laugh, hahaha! They were asking all about Brady’s Batec and were encouraging us. It was very sweet of them, and we had a good giggle about how we’re basically celebrities now 😎😎 I tease, of course, but it was fun.

We did a little more shopping before we grabbed some coffee and went to sit it at the train bridge. That has been our spot since we were dating, and we go there often when we have windows of time to kill. The very first day I was allowed to take Brady out of the hospital, we went to buy him some shoes, and we got some lunch to eat at our spot. Something about that spot feels homey. Can’t explain it.

We came home to a quiet house and a very tired Cher 💜 We were so grateful for the evening out. Thank you again, sweet girl, for the break.

Tomorrow is a big one for our hearts, so I will aim for ease in the next day or two. Making baskets and listening to good music!

Thank you for the warmth surrounding yesterdays post. Brady and I marked our anniversary with a delicious supper after the kids went to bed. Today we have the chance to go out on a date, so we have a plan to go out somewhere we have a gift card for this evening, and kill some time around that. We aren’t exactly swimming in recreational money but we don’t need much to spend time together 💜 We’re looking forward to getting some time away from the house, just the two of us.

I won’t lie and tell you my mind is fully at rest, though. With the last year being so full, its hard to picture how it all came together SO fast. So reliving it in real time is pretty eye opening.

Today is February 8th. Last year, on February 8th, Brady had already had his MRI, around 7:30am. We had this entire day to wait for results of the MRI, knowing full well that Dr. Guselle was refreshing Bradys file constantly, looking for those results just about as eagerly as we were. And we did receive them. Today. Last year. February 9th.

Brady had a mass. Most likely cancerous. And it needed to come out. Brady would meet a neurosurgeon the very next day.

That was a lot of information.

You know those things that you process and prepare for that still end up kicking you in the gut and knocking the wind from your lungs?

Me too. 🤮

This day marked a gigantic time of uncertainty. But we didn’t even know it yet. At this point, we knew Brady would need surgery to take out a tumour. That was scary enough on its own. We had NO idea what was coming.

Oh, past Hailey and Brady, what I wish I could tell you. How I wish I could have prepared you better or stolen all that fear from your hearts. But if I could’ve helped you with all of those things, none of us would need faith. And we do. Now more than ever.

Lord, you brought us through this year. Please carry me through this week of memories and sorrow.

Today marks thirteen years since Brady and I were married and pledged ourselves to one another.

Thirteen years.

Good thing we’re not superstitious.

I don’t really have to tell you all how much has changed in this last year.

A lot. A lot has changed.

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What I will say is that we have gained FAR more than we have lost.

This has been a year of opportunity. Of adventure. Of fun! We’ve been together at home and at the lake more than ever before, and it has only solidified in our hearts how much we LOVE to be together 💜

Together, we’re trying new things, setting new goals, and being braver than we’ve ever had to be.

I see why these big times in our lives tear people apart. I give God ALL the glory that it simply never even crossed our minds. Me and you, honey. We have a really beautiful thing going, and I pray and trust that God will use it for good. If we help others, or if we simply are good examples for our children, I know God has us in the palm of His holy hand.

From day one…

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…to thirteen years later…

I choose you 💜

Thirteen years is just the beginning. I foresee big things in our future.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

Yesterday was a really, really hard day. I tried all day to be even just be a little better, and all day, I failed. I ate food. I drank water. I put on real clothes. It just wasn’t working. I was in a funkity funk and couldn’t shake it.

Brady gave me every option to have a break, and I took them. I hid upstairs from everyone most of the day, yet I felt totally unproductive. When I did surface, I just felt ready to explode at every little detail.

We had some errands to run that we considered to be fun errands, but I was worried I’d wreck the tone and the fun. Also, we try to be really responsible, and at that time of day, it would leave us eating out for supper. However, the day was swirling the drain, and Brady made the executive decision that one supper out would not leave us high and dry. So we packed the kids up and headed to Saskatoon.

Can we just take a moment of silence to grieve the loss of affordable fuel for our vehicles?

*silently barfs*

Anyway…

We got supper first, since the kids would mostly just be sitting in the van, so they could eat as slowly as they wanted, haha! We put on good music and felt really relaxed.

Brady hit Home Depot first. He needed some lumber, which unfortunately, isn’t as easy for him to do on his own anymore. I am so grateful for our beautiful eldest son 💜 Dekker went in with Brady and pushed the cart with the lumber on it so Brady could more easily get around. He can push a standard grocery cart, but it has to be light, and if it at all pulls funny, its just SO much more difficult.

Then it was my turn. I chose Walmart over Michaels because I knew they’d have more of what I needed in bigger skeins. I foolishly motored over to the yarn without a basket, and quickly saw the error of my ways. I grabbed the nearest laundry hamper, determined to get in and out as fast as possible. I purchased a mountain more grey, a bit more yellow, and a whole schwack of BLUES for all you BLUE people!!! Almost everyone who ordered from me ordered blue tones! Which is lovely! There is a great variety of blue yarn out there, and I have some, but I used up pretty much all of my little variegated blues and greens recently, so there were definite holes to fill in my stash. Are all you blue loving people happy with these?

I sure am! Plus my other random ends, and of course some navy in the mix.

I wanted to hit Michaels, too, but I knew me, and I knew I was finished for the day. Maybe another day 🙂 Soon, probably!

Too many creative ideas brewing in this noggin these days. For that reason, I REALLY appreciate those of you who shared, inquired, and/or ultimately ordered from me. It frees me up to be able to work and make a little money doing something I really, really love. Thank you, friends.

So yesterday evening was FUN! I shared some pictures on Facebook of a basket I made, and you guys ordered!!! Those couple of hours were SO exciting for me!

Can anyone guess my favorite colour? 😂💜

This isn’t actually the first one of these that I’ve made! I thought I posted them but the last month has been absolutely upside down, so clearly they got lost in the mix.

First, another round one. Its a little shorter than the one I posted earlier, but the same width.

And then a rectangular one!

I already feel like they’re getting better, so thank you to my close people who tend to be my guinea pigs on these things!

Everyone’s support surrounding my work goes further than you know. From being the person who was labelled “the one who always just crochets something” to being excited and proud of what I make has been a leap, but its happening, and I have many of you to thank for it!

The little details:

Large Basket
14″ diameter
13″ (ish) height.
Colours may vary
$60

Thinking we might start adding light wooden bases for an added amount. Would that be worth the value to you?

Business page coming soon!

🤮 Forgive me, I dry heave when I get nervous.

Yesterday’s blog ended with the sickening issue of water damage on our ceiling. While we have no concrete answers at this very moment, we have hope, information, and some local people who are willing to get up there and help us. What a relief. Once again, our community swoops in to help 💜 We are so fortunate.

it was a very full day yesterday, which was welcomed. There has been a LOT of reminiscing recently, so thats a lot of what you’ll be reading on here in the days to come. Yesterday marks a year since Brady finally got his MRI. It turned out to be the first of many, but we were so ready to finally have gotten the attention Brady so desperately needed! Little did we know, the MRI would leave us with more questions than what we started with. We were told of a foggy, undefined area of the thoracic spine, which could mean a mass, but could also mean something as simple as an issue of blood flow. We still had hope, but goodness, just remembering how those days felt gives me the full-body shivers.

My body was aching to be prepared. Maybe you remember, maybe not. I was meal prepping. I would have a weeks worth of cheese rolls and pre-chopped veggies ready for the kids lunches at all times. I was pre-writing blogs. I had a bag packed for Brady and a list of last minute things to grab in case we ever had to move fast. I had childcare lined up for just about everything.

All that preparing, and we still had no idea what was coming. As in ZERO.

My body feels that same fear these days – the desperate need to prepare for the worst. I cannot shake it, but I think its something it just has to get through, so I continue to coast as smoothly as I can. Which is not very smooth.

Some memories can be really good, though. Lots of good memories made, and MANY more to make 💜

One day, some of these February days won’t feel as heavy. Please, Lord, protect us.

Its been a while, but it was time to take Rowan in to be seen to be fully cleared to go back to regular life. He’s had a few lingering things since his bout of covid, so I wanted to have him checked fully over to make absolutely sure he isn’t fighting any additional infection/sickness. So Brady, Rowan, Wavy, and I went into the city together once the others had gone to school.

Guys, it is just frigid these days! Yikes!!

Before Rowan’s appointment, we ran a couple of errands. Nothing major. A stop for coffees, which we haven’t done in forever! A stop at Dollarama to buy them out of certain supplies for Brady’s projects. A stop at Michaels for yarn that they didn’t have, but also for yarn that they did have! 😍 Stay tuned for some new little projects I have on the go.

Then the four of us went to Walmart together, like I said before, for the first time in a LONG time!!! When I went to get Brady’s wheelchair out of our van, the one wheel wasn’t locked, making it a lot harder to take out. But once I got it out, the brake was just hanging by a thread, completely broken. Of all things. So we added that to our list of things to do and carried on.

After Walmart, we headed to the doctors office and Rowan and I waited only a few minutes before it was time. This kid is SO handsome.

He had a VERY long appointment, where we went far beyond covid talk and got into sleep, behavior, mental health, and directions to move in. I feel armed with support, ideas, and information now! And an even bigger win – Rowan says he really likes going to the doctor! Woot!

When all was said and done, we were at the doctors WAY longer than anticipated, and needed to get the kids lunch. And a donut for being SO patient and cooperative.

And one for Wavy too, because it was necessary.

Aaaaand coffee, again, for Brady and I. Because it was that kind of day.

We still hit another couple of stores, because at this point, we decided to just lurk a little longer and then pick the kids up all together. We got the mail, and took our time. It was a really full, really nice day.

And we came home to water damage on our ceiling.

I could scream.

But I won’t.

We have GOT to get out of the house.