Today is my first day completely apart from Brady. There are details to work out this week, and the uncertainty is hard. At Royal University Hospital, I could visit Brady every day. He was only allowed one visitor, one visit, every day, but it was still every day. At City Hospital, in the rehabilitation program, they are only allowed one visitor twice a week. Its a little bit shattering. So after being together Friday and Saturday, we opted to not see each other today. Or tomorrow. Ugh. However, tomorrow Brady will meet our social worker (I guess everyone in this program gets one) and he can advocate for more time together, which he absolutely plans on doing. After that, we’ll have a better idea of how our weeks might look.
I had a pretty crumbly evening yesterday. I cried a lot. I was SO beat. I followed the evening up with a subpar sleep and was in no shape to do the day when the time came. Cher lovingly got the kids breakfast and played with them so I could rest extra long in bed, and even brought me some coffee and food. I got to FaceTime with Brady, and some kids popped up a couple of times to say hi to daddy. Hamilton played over the Echo and the kids had good attitudes.
My mom arrived shortly before lunch, with strawberries in hand. She cut them up and we had a delicious lunch of leftover chicken noodle soup and fresh buns alongside. Meanwhile, as the kids ate, two more meals walked through my front door.
As lunch wrapped up, kids were put down for naps. Poor Wavy is struggling a little extra with the lack of normal, and we had a GOOD slumpy dead weight kind of snuggle before her nap. I feel so disconnected in some ways, but I’m trying to help the kids still have some continuity. Its a real challenge.
As the younger ones were tucked in, a bath was run for me, bubbles poured, candles lit, and the big kids are now on a walk so I can fully rest.
And rest I will do. Excuse me, please. My bath is waiting.
Must. Cope.