We had a few goals for today. Not many, but some. We wanted to get a good chunk of our stuff organized and settled so that I would then feel settled during the week. We also thought an outing would be useful, since we could really use a Costco run. We had plans.
Our morning really got away on us, however, so we made the kids lunch and continued along with our plans of what we’d accomplish in the afternoon. By the time lunch was done, it was well after 1:00, and we learned that it is absolutely freezing out today!! The kind of day where the vehicle never ever warms up, the kids are cold all day long, and running in and out of stores would likely be fun for no one. So we abandoned all plans, and since it was too late to nap Dekker or Laela, we put Ro down and settled in for a restful afternoon in the theatre room. We watched some tv and cuddled on the couches and the kids made their way up and down the stairs with toys and such.
Weirdly, the day left me completely lethargic. I was hoping for a reprieve, and rest, and renewed joy. Instead, I feel sick and grumpy and surprised that I feel worse rather than better. Its not been the day I’ expected it to be.
But then there is the family. Rowan has perfected the army crawl and doesn’t seem too terribly interested in conventional crawling. He is, however, rocking the polar bear crawl, and is working hard to pull up on things. So he is rocking my socks. Laela came to visit me at one point in the day when I was having a little rest time on my own. She climbed up beside me, leaned her head on me, and just asked “Mommy ‘kay?” I love her sensitivity. I sat beside Dekker at supper today. I usually sit by Rowan and feed him, but Brady offered to feed him today, so I sat by Dekker, and throughout the meal, he would reach over to me and just stroke my arm with my macaroni hands. I loved that. He would just offer me a sweet little smile, and hold my arm while he ate. Part of me is SO SAD that they know so much, and that they’re observing me such a wreck. But they are being loving, and they are learning from it, so I’m only beating myself up a little bit, I guess.
After supper, I was sitting on the kitchen floor, and Brady came to sit with me. He brought his guitar, and we sang a few songs together, which we haven’t done in such a long time! Then we sang a few of the kids favorite songs for them before heading off to bedtime routine. It was a really really nice time, honestly.
I hid in Dekkers bed while Brady helped them get their teeth brushed, and it was really funny to listen to them scour the house to find me to say goodnight. They finally figured it out and we all had a really good snuggle in bed. I like that my kids are all getting big enough that I don’t have to be as careful with them. I can roll out of Dekker’s bed completely overtop of him without hurting him at all, and I can toss Laela completely on top of him without anyone crying. Its fun. I felt good leaving their room tonight. It was uplifting, and no one was crying. It was nice.
I know its completely frozen outside, but I’m thinking I need a hot tub break this evening. Its so cold inside, my nose is cold to the touch. Brrrrr! So the hot tub will only heat us up, and give our room a chance to warm up with the space heater. And then a snack and off to bed. We’ll spend tomorrow with my mom, which is ALWAYS a treat. I love her. There is a lot to look forward to, for sure.
Sleep well.