I’ve said a few times over the last little while that I’m feeling the need to get away for a little while. As in, a few hours. Maybe a day. I’m feeling overwhelmed in my home. Going from having Brady home a lot to almost never is a big change for me, and is proving to be a bigger challenge than either of us thought it would be.
It would appear that I am not earning the mother of the day award. While I don’t earn it any day, really, today is a day I would be booed off the stage.
I am struggling.
I have yelled at both of my children today. I have punished Dekker more than I probably normally would. I cried when Dekker cried, in turn making Laela cry. So. Much. Whining. I feel like I’m going to scream at them. And I did. I never yell at my kids. Its a terrible feeling.
After I’ve yelled at Dekker and made him shake in fear and cry harder, he comes running at me and just hugs me. Poor boy has nowhere else to go for comfort. But it helps, because I feel sick to my stomach because of how I’ve shouted at him so loudly in his little soaked, snotty face.
Moments after a big explosion…
True love right here. I adore my kids. Please don’t judge me. I’m trying to be honest, and some days are really, really ugly. I’ve apologized to my children and put them down for a nap.
Now to breathe…
Oh Hailey, I have had those days before! I know it feels aweful. Infact I had a day like that just yesterday. Nathan hasn’t had a day of in almost 2 weeks. and when he does get home it is REALLY late! I made Seth cry yesterday from loosing my patience and then immediately asked him to come to me as I said I was sorry for yelling at him and loosing it. Kissed and hugs were shared and we made up quick.
I’m floored by how fast Dekker bounces back too. I’m still feeling terribly guilty hours later and he was sitting on my lap cuddling, saying he loved me within moments. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets a little crazy being home with their kids once in a while 😉