The Daily Hailey

I always get such a kick out of writing out my kids birth stories, and I love sharing them with you guys 🙂 I’m not sure what I’ve done in all of the other ones, but this time around, I felt like I had to pick and choose details a bit more than I think I’ve done in the past. I could be wrong, but I wasn’t sure how much to add in there! Also, we stayed at the hospital for such a short time, I felt like I should write about the whole hospital stay, but that goes beyond the birth story.

Because I felt less certain about what to write this time around, I left out a detail or two that I figured I’d write about today 🙂 Hopefully this isn’t controversial, but you can just read it as our own situation, not what we think everyone in the world should do. Not everything that is “best” is best for everyone.

Probably the one thing that made me feel the teensiest bit awkward during my labour and delivery was that my nurse was clearly very disappointed that I had decided not to breastfeed. Now I know, I know, “breast is best.” Sure. I’m on board with that. Honestly, I’m all for breastfeeding! Totally pro-breastfeeding! But I don’t do it, because its just not for me. I won’t get into all of the reasons why, but formula feeding is very much the right choice for us. But my nurse didn’t like it, and it was quite apparent. I’m aware that my choice isn’t a popular one, but since I’ve bottle fed all of my babies, hospital personnel usually don’t get on me about it.  She wasn’t outwardly pushy, but some off handed comments she made were unnecessary. It felt like a tiny part of my experience was tarnished by this.

When Solly was delivered, he was laid on top of me and we had a lovely first cuddle. My nurse commented that, even though I had chosen not to breastfeed, that didn’t mean the baby didn’t NEED skin to skin, so she was very persistent that we do this. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE skin time with my baby! And we were having it! But since I wasn’t nursing, I was wearing my bra, and she practically pulled it off of me to get him on more of my skin. Again, I was happy to have him on my chest, it just felt strange that it was pushed SO hard. When my doctor asked to take him and weigh him, I passed him over, and my nurse got very flustered and corrected Dr. Guselle, saying the baby should not be removed off of his mother for the first hour or two. I assured the room that I was totally fine with what was being done, but felt a bit uncomfortable. It seemed like she thought she had to advocate for this baby above me.

Formula feeding in the hospital is taboo. There are charts and papers and everyone tries to dictate how much baby eats. “Baby’s stomach is the size of an acorn, we don’t want to stretch that!” This is true, I have no doubt. But when my nurse handed me a bottle with 10 mls in it and said “He won’t need the whole thing” I was kind of amazed. He had that DOWN in less than 15 seconds, no word of a lie, and he was snorting away for more. “See, he’s rooting. He wants to nurse,” she says. But she wouldn’t give us more milk in his bottle.

While still in delivery, it was determined that his respiratory rates were high. Nothing big or scary, but I was told he’d be assessed by someone when we got to postpartum. I don’t remember her name, or what her official title was, but I LOVED her. When she came into our room, we discussed how his delivery had gone, how massive he was, and what seemed to be the problem. She checked him all over so very lovingly, saying things like “Ok, son, don’t pee on your nurse!” She was very warm, and funny, and she knew her stuff. When she was done her assessment, she said she noticed two things. One was that his temperature was normal but his cheeks felt cool. She also noticed that he appeared very hungry still. Based on these things, I took him out from under my hospital gown and blanket, dressed him in some jammies, and swaddled him up good and tight. Then I fed him *gasp* 15 mls. And THEN, his breathing slowed, and he could finally relax. The nurse who had suggested these moves was SO cautious to recommend them, and kept making the joke “Don’t tell anyone I said that!” It made me sad, but it was nice to know that someone even secretly agreed with me about what my son needed.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to complain. I know my nurse is an amazing lady, with GREAT birth stories, and a similar sense of humor to me 🙂 She and I just had different ideas of what “ideal” looked like, and I think we missed the boat on clearing that up before it got awkward. All I’m hoping to express here is that you moms need to go with your gut. Whether something is recommended, required, frowned upon, taboo, controversial, good, bad, or ugly, (forgive me in advance for saying this) you do you, boo! Not everyone has to like it.

Lastly lastly, I LOVE the hospital staff at Royal University Hospital! No ill will, bad blood, hard feelings, etc. We are always SO well cared for, and we are so blessed to have the resources that we have!! I am very thankful for the birthing team we had 🙂