I’d like to give Dekker a serious attaboy today. I know him better than anyone else does, and I can vouch that he is an exceptional person. He tends to be standoffish with new people, or really any people, though, and it sends a different message. I think a lot of people who don’t know him and see him in passing think he’s misbehaved, and he is not. He is sensitive, and gentle, and very loving. Today was one of those amazing days where it seems he’s forgotten to be grouchy, and he just rocks at all of those skills, first try. It was refreshing for everyone, even himself, and it showed as he did better and better as the day wore on.
We had waffles for brunch, and took it easy in the morning and early afternoon. We decided to make a trip to the city in the afternoon, not because we needed a lot of things, but the few things that we needed were important. Basically, one of my medications ran out, and I can’t be without it :/ So we made a quick plan and headed in.
We grabbed lunch at KFC and went to Superstore first. It was there that we snagged a new hoodie for Dekker that just happened to be very similar to the shirt I was wearing today – white with navy blue stripes. From that moment on, that kid was mine. He opted to forgo riding on the front of the cart, and instead he wanted to walk with me. He’d grab my hand, rub his cheek on it, and kiss it. If I had to let go of him for one reason or another, he’d very obviously smile at me and say “Ok mommy,” let me go, but then grab my hand back the moment it was free and ask “Did you miss me when you were away?” It was SO sweet! I tried to take a picture of us with our matching shirts, but he didn’t want to take selfies. He just wanted to snuggle.
We did Costco next, and it was relatively the same story. He just wanted to walk with me. He was sad when Solly gave up on his car seat and I had to carry him instead. But he handled his disappointment better than usual. He really wanted to walk with us rather than ride on the cart, and he was very obedient and stayed close. We always hold hands if he’s not on the cart, so this was a bit of an independence thing, and it went well! In both stores we went to, he addressed people who spoke to him politely and without reservation. He was VERY charming and well behaved the entire time!
When we got home, life as usual resumed and the kids played and ran around like always. But Rowan had barely napped at all in the van, and was therefore trashed and emotional and basically a hot mess. Laela wasn’t far behind him, and Solly was in need of some milk and a fresh bum. Usually, in those moments, Dekker cries. Because everyone else is crying, and its overwhelming. But he didn’t.
Me: Dekker, can you do me a favor?
Dekker: Of course!
Me: Dekker, do you think you could help Ro get his water bottle?
Dekker: I’d love to do that?
Laela: Dropped my toy!
Dekker: Want me to help you, little sweetie?
Laela: (wanders outside after my mom as she leaves the house)
Dekker: Honey, I can see you’re getting cold! Do you want to come back inside?
The. Entire. Evening. It was unreal! We praised him up the whole time, telling him how responsible he was being, and how great his attitude was, and it just pumped him up. At the end of the day, I could honestly tell him he had an AMAZING attitude ALL DAY, and I told him I was SO proud of him!! He just glowed with pride, and asked “Are you so proud of me that my shirt is the same color as yours?” I laughed and said I thought it was pretty cool. He suggested we wear our matching shirts forever 🙂
Toys were tidied without complaint, and when Laela got hurt and came to me crying, Dekker initiated a group hug for her. He also couldn’t keep his hands off of Solly, whether he was hugging him, wrapping him in his blanket, or putting his soother nearby. He was on top of the affection today!
Dekker gave me a soft, loving hug and kiss before bed. Not that I don’t love the hugs that are actually wrestling matches. Those are loaded with love too, I am positive. But today was a soft day for me and him. I caught myself once or twice correcting him a bit harder than I needed to, and in those moments, he would say “Oh, thats right, you’re right, I’m sorry. I got mixed up.” But he didn’t get worked up like he does when I get worked up. Funny how we play off of one another, hey? I wonder if we’d have more days like this if I changed my attitude too. Hmmm.
This is just …….there isn’t ONE right word. Sensational. Heartwarming. Delightful. Tear-jerking. He IS such a remarkably lovable little boy, and reading this was sweet beyond words.
Tear jerking for me too, trust me! Thanks for your encouragement on here, and for loving Dekker so well! You are one of the handful of people who never seem to be shocked when he gets upset or seems standoffish, and I really really appreciate and love that about you 🙂
Wow , love this story! Great job Dekker! What a boy, Love him so much!
It’s amazing how we learn from our kids eh, Hailey? God teaches us through our children! Love you so much!
I think I knew I’d learn from my kids eventually, because all parents say they do 😉 But I never pictured what it would look like, and I find it mind blowing. I’m in awe of how wise Dekker is sometimes! We sure love you back, Elvira!