The Daily Hailey

*** A brief disclaimer here that this post has darker humour in it than I tend to share. Its not gross by any means, but some people might not find the same humour in it, and I’d be very sad to offend anyone. Take my word for it that we have to laugh at these things, otherwise its all just very, very sad. So feel free to pass this one by, or laugh along with us! ***

It probably goes without saying that has been the most stressful time of our lives. Yet, as we tend to do, we try to find some humour where we can. So I thought I’d share a few laughs we’ve had along the way. Some of them are a little dark. Some are bathroom related. Just laugh with us, ok? I am allowed to share the vulnerable things, so I’m going to, in the name of jokes. 

In chronological order: 

The first one wasn’t funny in the moment, but it is now. So you’re allowed to laugh, I promise. Back in the days of the last hospital and the neuro ward, Brady was a lot weaker and less mobile. He would get hauled out of his bed with a big lift, and he would be rolled from place to place. They’d lower him back down into a sitting position, where he would try madly to maintain his balance long enough for them to unhook him from the lift and help him lay back down. At that point, he couldn’t sit on the edge of his bed without really hanging on. And I will not ever forget the time where they brought him back to his bed and lowered him onto his hands. He was trying to reach for the bed in preparation but was out of alignment and ended up being set down on his hands. The panic that washed over his face, as he tried madly to pull his hands out from under him while not falling over is a look I won’t soon forget. Yes, its terribly sad that he was SO vulnerable, and that is many people’s reality, but now we both laugh really hard about it. 

The rest of the funnies have taken place in the rehab ward. Neuro wasn’t very funny, but rehab is. A small but humorous observation is that Brady’s phone is still trying to count his steps, but its clearly moot at this point. Many days, his phone registers something ridiculous like thirteen steps, hahaha! He went from an AMAZING amount of steps, even when his spine was SO BAD, to double digits. Man, how things have changed. His phone will not so gently point out that he walked a LOT more last year… 

Must’ve farted. This has become one of my favourite things. Which doesn’t make a ton of sense, but please understand. I’ll be sitting with Brady, doing whatever, and suddenly he’ll sniff and exclaim “Oh! Stinks. Must’ve farted.” Because he can’t feel it!!! So its just a guessing game! It is SO funny to me, and thankfully, to him. This also means that, now and forever, I can fart whenever, wherever, and blame him. So, win! 

We’ve had some good laughs about a particular nurse. Not because of ANYTHING bad, don’t worry, ZERO nurse bashing here! Earlier in his stay at City Hospital, Brady had it marked in his chart that he didn’t want to be checked on a bunch in the night, as he was able to move around on his own in bed and get what he needed. As soon as that was officially noted, he had his pulmonary embolism, so they started checking on him a lot again. Which makes sense, but its obviously was not his ideal for his sleep schedule. Still, we get it. There was a particular nurse who checked on Brady a LOT. At first, Brady would hear her come in, and she’d accidentally wake him, even when he had earplugs in. But she got quieter over time. One particular night, Brady had to pee a number of times. He pees in that pee jug we talked about a while ago, and sometimes in the night, when a nurse pokes their head in, they empty it. And on that one particular night, that nurse snuck in and emptied the jug about five times. Brady got such a kick out of her, and while he worked so hard to remember everyone’s names, that nurse is dubbed “sneaky pee-stealing nurse.” Affectionately, of course. 

The last one is probably the best, and maybe the most shocking of them all. Its not actually shocking, but, you’ll see, I guess. I call the situation “testes in distressties.” You can see where its going. A transfer from one place to another is one swift motion for Brady. Wheelchair to bench. Bed to chair. Wherever. The other day, Brady was telling me about a particular move he made after a shower. He had shifted over to where he wanted to be, and, in his words, he had a brief sense that his balls were in distress. Again, in his words, “I looked down. No junk.” I laughed SO hard when he told me this story!! Its happened a couple more times since then, where he’s accidentally sat on his balls and not noticed right away. He called me one time from the hospital and told me “I sat on my balls again, but I couldn’t immediately save them.” Man, he is SUCH a good sport about these things! But hey, now when the kids rush at him and knee him in the crotch, it doesn’t hurt as bad! Heyo!!

So, yes, I realize some of these things are kind of sad, but we are laughing, so you can, too. We have to find some humour in our circumstances.