The Daily Hailey

Its my mom’s birthday today! Hopefully I’m right about being allowed to share the number, lol! She doesn’t seem choked at all to be hitting the big 6-0. Rather, she’s excited to celebrate! We’ll do that later today 🙂

This year has been a big one, for lots of reasons. There was a spell in March/April where mom got really, really hurt. We couldn’t piece all the reasons why together, but basically overnight, she found herself in a whole new world of physical pain. Nothing was cutting it. As God tends to plan things out (perfectly,) Brady wasn’t working much those days, and I was able to be available to mom. We made some runs to some appointments, got some meds, back for other appointments for different meds, and on and on until we got her pain somewhat under control. Even with that, it was a really difficult time. Mom was nauseous and dizzy and unable to get around at all on her own. It was SUCH a vulnerable time, which is obviously why I didn’t broadcast it on here. Blogging was tricky for those weeks, but was a very small thing in the bigger picture.

Eventually, Brady did go back to work, and mom had to ask for more help from other people. It was hard, because she and I are so similar, and we had a really smooth system going. I knew exactly what she needed and when. I sat at home and worried about how she was being cared for. I had never felt SO torn. Never so unsure of where I belonged. I worried if her people would come on time. I worried if they would walk with her when she needed to do something on her own. I worried if she would ask for what she needed. Would they help her get her meds, prepare her lunch, or encourage her to lie down? I had never felt so unsure of my role.

But, guys, her community SHOWED UP!!! Our church set up a meal train, and brought her stacks of easy “heat and serve” meals. Activity books, pens, and cards poured in. There was just nothing but love for her. I was in her kitchen at one point when someone dropped by with food. Mom insisted on getting up and greeting her guests, but she shouldn’t have. As they visited, I watched mom start to sway, and her eyes were closing. She was fading. Before I had the opportunity to “save” her, her guest suggested she go lay down. And then, best ever, she walked her to her room, got mom into bed, and then sat herself down on a chair, put her feet up, and the visit continued there. The fear of speaking up for what you want is that it’ll make your guest feel unwelcome or awkward, and her friends proved time and time again that they were up for whatever she needed. Sometimes, mom would nap, and her company would lay out on the couch and catch some Z’s too. Or they would tidy up. Or they would field my messages. It did my heart SO good to know she had a community of people behind her when I couldn’t be there, who were happy to be there. Praise the Lord for friends and a supportive church family who SHOW UP!

In time, with LOTS of physio, stretches, diligent med taking, and eventually weening off, mom came around <3 In time, the need for company dwindled, as mom could drive herself places, go for walks on her own, and make her own food. She even went crocus hunting a couple of times! Her energy, memory, and stability slowly returned. And as she would say, she couldn’t have done it without the help and love of her people, and first and foremost, the grace of God. (Mom, I feel like YOU should be writing this post, haha!)

We reminisce about those weeks sometimes. They were HARD. It was a really painful, stressful, emotional, overwhelming time. She still tears up when she talks about all the help she needed and received.

I write this post as a positive memory for her!

Mom, you are so dearly loved, by me and SO many others! ❤️ Caring for you was never an inconvenience. YOU are never an inconvenience. Our church, town, and community is richer with you in it. So many lives are richer with you in them! But speaking for just me – I treasured our days together. I ached for you, and I hated seeing you in pain, but I loved caring for you. We are so alike, and we learned to work together really well over that time. Ou relationship really changed. We got SO much closer. The way you feel so grateful for that time is the way my heart feels, also. In a different way, I suppose, but not all too different.

I hope you feel truly loved today, mom. I am so grateful for you. I’m not sure how to put it into words, but I hope you hear my heart. Its so similar to yours 😘 I love you.