Cher here!
I’m not trying to make anyone uncomfortable, but for those of you who don’t have a father – either because he has passed or he is not an active part of your life – we can relate that this time of year we sort of start massaging old wounds.
Without getting too much into detail, my “father” has struggled with substance abuse and narcissism my whole life, so I don’t relate to having lost a parent to an illness or accident.
In this life I have learned that we don’t get to have everything we want or need, and that is actually a blessing. Without loss, hurt, or voids, we would all be cookie-cutter people with no depth or strengths to nurture. We wouldn’t have the opportunity to be perfectly unique. And that’s what every single one of us are; perfectly and completely different from everyone else.
When I scroll Facebook and I see people with their amazing dad’s I remember my mom who did absolutely everything a dad could do. I remember Jesus who looks out for me, stands up for me, and protects me. I also scroll right on past and don’t spend much time thinking about it because it still does sting.
Who wouldn’t want a dad on father’s day? The.. DAY! The day that we spend giving gifts, spending time, eating good food… writing sappy internet posts with beautiful pictures.
I just wanted to say, here I am. I can relate to you. You are definitely NOT alone. I, too, wish I had a Father on Father’s day. Hello, friend! We are a group of people who do such a good job pretending.
I think there are many people out there who have absent Fathers who they feel like they are forced to celebrate. I acknowledge you too! I understand that there are so many ways to feel like you don’t have a Father, and not just because they are not physically near you. You are also acknowledged!
Maybe you feel sad for your kids who don’t have a Father and you do! I acknowledge you too! There are SO MANY reasons why this weekend will make you feel kinda yucky. Maybe a little grumpy. Maybe you’ll buy a little extra ice cream, and that’s okay. You deserve it, right? I think you do.
I started out writing this post for myself mostly, but then I started to realize that weekends like this can really conjure up a lot of self-loathing for many people in many different walks of life, and I guess I just wanted to encourage you because I also need it.
We are not less because we have less.
We are not defined by our losses.
We can do tough things.
We can turn pain into inspiration by staying transparent about how we feel.
By not shedding our bitterness, but transforming it into encouragement.
And if you don’t have a Father on Father’s Day, you are still worth the love you have not received from him. Just know that.