The Daily Hailey

Yesterday was a spectacular day. Getting our rental somewhat lined up is a huge weight off of my shoulders, and lots of exciting things are in the works over here. Christmas is coming, we’re seeing family and friends already, we’re starting to pack and plan for the new year.

And then Satan tried to take my joy. Yesterday evening was quite awful, for lots of reasons. I was VERY worked up, to a point where I was unable to focus on anything really. I worked SO hard not to lose my joy, but sometimes its hard to stand back up. I’m sure lots of you can relate. It was just a rough evening, but it hit hard. Because of the evening, I had a really hard time winding down and getting to bed, which made for a pretty rough night on Brady. Rowan wasn’t exactly a rockstar last night, and I was so very dead to the world. I would offer to change Rowan’s diaper and seconds later, I’d wake up, and Brady would be feeding him. I was just unable to physically wake up and be helpful. I was completely shot. It was interesting, to say the least.

This morning, we all slept in. The kids got their nice late breakfast going, and I texted Kim to confirm our playdate and invite them over. Brady headed in to work a short day, and I waited for our guests to arrive.

We had a great day together, with all of the kids. They played really well together, ate really well, and Kim and I had to intervene very little, which always feels extra successful. When they left, I had a really lovely chat on the phone with my mom. I love her. She really met a need for me today, actually. However, when I hung up, I found my kids to be completely in shambles. Everyone was fighting or yelling or struggling in some way. Rowan had only just fallen asleep and I had to wake him, so I was very unpopular according to everyone here at home. And Brady worked a pretty long day, so he wasn’t even on his way home yet. I feared for another horrid evening.

BUT. I’m trying really really hard to choose sunshine. Positivity. It has to be a choice for me at this point, because I am drained. There are such exciting highs around here, and then really difficult, low lows. Its quite exhausting, lol! I can tell its wearing on the kids too, in a pretty noticeable way. I want it to be a good time though. I’m hoping very much for a better nights sleep tonight, and a really good jumping off point for tomorrow 😀 Because while I am trying pretty hard to choose sunshine, I want to encourage my kids to do the same. We can have low times, but nothing and no one has the power to take our joy away without our permission.

So. Sunshine. I choose it. Keep your grey away.