Cher here!
I sat on this for an entire day. How do I start a blog like this? A blog on a big day. It’s not just a big day for me this year, it’s a big day for my Hailey, too. It’s a big day for everyone who is touched by her and her family. So please know, everyone, that when I write about myself, I am not trying to take away the day.
Some of you know, some of you may not. Today is the day my brother took his life in our childhood home only an hour and 45 minutes after he texted me that he got a new phone.
I had plans. I was at my cousins house, about to head to some friends for the evening. I got the call. I texted some people. I texted Hailey. We had only been friends for maybe five months. Not even close. We didn’t hang out recreationally. I was taking photos of her pregnant belly. She cared differently than most people did. I never would have texted her otherwise. I also confided in her before anyone else that Scott was going to be a dad.
She texted me back: “Please tell me you weren’t in the house when it happened” I said no. She offered for me to come over. The next day I did. She hugged me so tight in the entrance. I sat on her couch. Her and Brady talked to me for a few hours and then I went home.
That is a very watered down version of what happened, but this blog isn’t about Scott’s life, or my life per say. This blog is about God, and grief, and victory. But first, I want to paint a picture. Scott struggled his whole life, but he was happy. He laughed so much as a kid.
He loved me a lot when we got to be adults.
Then he stopped loving himself. He thought other people could love him enough that he didn’t have to.
Hailey was there for all the grief. She let me cry on her couch. She gave me a safe place to be real without judgment. Over time we got so close. Then, the three of us became like a club. Playing games, eating good food, watching shows, having fires. COVID helped lots of this grow.
There is always beauty in the things that terrify and confuse us. That’s God, though. Unpredictable, and BEAUTIFUL. Scott would be a PROUD dad to a beautiful baby girl. The first year he was gone on the 14th of April, she was dedicated by her beautiful mom to the Lord. The second year he was gone, Hailey bought me an iced capp (iced capps were HUGE for Scott) during COVID and drove me to go see that little girl and her mom. It was such a beautiful day.
This year on the 14th is a bittersweet day for me. A BIG day for Hailey and her family.
The past few months I have watched Hailey grieve. I’ll never forget the day Brady got the call that there was a tumor. The day Hailey went to see him at the hospital and they moved him so fast that she saw him for only a few minutes between transferring him to another hospital. Those tears were so heavy, I could not hold them.
Then, the blood clot through the heart into his lungs. The diagnosis. The uncertainty of it all. Even the fact that the surgeon thought he wouldn’t walk. MRI after MRI, calls, delays, and so much more.
Through watching Brady fight for his life with such positivity and come home on this particular day… this very specific day.. It feels SO special and planned. It is NOT about me, it is about God’s plan. On such a significant day for all of us, all I can say is, this is AMAZING! God said he can turn anything meant for harm or evil to be for good. This day is SO good!!!! How could I ever be sad, when God gave me a whole new brother out of losing Scott.
And today, the days collide with grief and celebration. A day God knew would happen, before any of us ever could.
Thank you Hailey and Brady for being SO sensitive about this day, even with it being SUCH a big day for you. Today is the day God has made. Today we can rejoice and be glad in it. I love you both, so much!
I love you Cher!