We are FINALLY getting our basement ceiling done!! It was the last piece of the puzzle that was finishing our house completely. We were going to do it this winter. And now, we cannot. That, plus the reality that we are coming to terms with – moving in the next year or so – means we need it done sooner than later.
Brady reached out to a local contractor and he agreed to the job. It starts tomorrow, and should only take a day or two. While its a decently short job, it means some prep work for us.
And by us, I mean me.
I hate talking like this, but please be gentle with me.
Its hard. All the prep work and leg work was up to me. The basement closets needed to be emptied and stashed somewhere. Any and all things that could be moved and stashed in the furnace room needed to be. I moved one bed, one lamp, one ottoman, two guitars, countless bins and space bags of beddings. I unloaded the boys closet, and cleared their surfaces. I removed the shelves and rods from two closets. I took down the surround sound speakers. I moved all the big toys into the furnace room. Stacks hampers of laundry that need doing. Got the things stacked at the top of the toy shelf down. I don’t even remember what else. I ran up and down the stairs about a hundred times, getting a stool, putting it back, needing it again, etc etc etc.
ALL of that being said, I am immensely grateful for my strong, willing, hard working ten year old son who OFFERED, EAGERLY, to help me. He did a hundred trips up and down the stairs, too. When I moved the big wooden doll house and kitchen, who do you think was on the other hand, saying things like “steady” and “are you doing ok, mom?” When I was up on a stool, disassembling the closets, I didn’t even have to look down, and the piece I was holding would be seamlessly slipped out of my hand and taken off somewhere. I had someone to help me brainstorm where things would go, suggest things that I hadn’t thought of to move, who never turned down a job. He was encouraging and warm and totally happy to keep working until the job was done. At one point, I moved something big into the furnace room – the coffee table, I think – and it blocked the fridge door a little bit. I hemmed and hawed over it and was trying to see where else I could put it. Dekker reassured me right away that we could still get in enough, and that he would be happy to get the fridge stuff from the basement for me while it was like that.
Yes. That is the kind of boy he is.
And he learned it from his dad, who is also that kind of boy 💜 And I hate even talking about this stuff, because I know it hurts Brady’s heart that he isn’t the one helping me with these things. The same way I didn’t choose this change in our lives, neither did he. Especially not him! So I struggle to do significantly more physical work without showing Brady how heavy is weighs on me, and he struggles knowing exactly what I’m struggling with, wishing he could take it from me. So we both struggle, as we both wish for the other to be without the weight they are carrying. But we both have grief. Its just different. But it also isn’t.
I am overwhelmingly grateful for Dekker today. He worked SO HARD this morning to prepare the basement with me. He made a real point to keep things light and encouraging, and he never just decided he was bored and asked to be done. I would’ve let him, too. He had done so much. Even half of what he helped me accomplish was a LOT. Not only is he at an age where he can legitimately help me, carry more weight, and problem solve, but the fact that he is as driven and hard working as he is makes the best kind of help. I truly could not have done the morning without him.
Dekker, you are a fine wine. Or, wait, you’re still a kid. But hardly. You’ve never been a kid kid. I’m not even sure what category fits you best.
Dekker, you are a good piece of real leather. You are strong, and soft, and you just get better with time.
Every day that you are part of my family is a good day, my son. I am SO proud of you.