I know I’m not allowed to be especially upset with my body. Trust me, I know, and I agree. My body has done some amazing things, and I am incredibly grateful for it. Its strong, and capable, and hasn’t failed me too terribly often. But, flesh does fail. I’m human, and my body is imperfect. But I’ll admit to you guys that I put a decent amount of expectation on it, and I get incredibly discouraged when it fails.
I haven’t been private about the fact that I’m not sleeping well. I’ve never had this kind of struggle with sleep in pregnancy. Yes, pregnancy fatigue is a thing, I’ve been there. I am there. But these days, I fall asleep without issue, but my night goes one of two ways. One way is that I wake up shortly after falling asleep and spend most of the night half awake, wildly disoriented, and when I get up for the day, I’m completely out of it. The other way is that I actually sleep fairly deeply but I dream constantly. The dreams range from unsettling and nerve wracking to completely scary and shocking.
So last night, I finally had a good deep sleep, but it felt like I dreamt all night of my children being abducted. It. Was. Awful. A very very hard night to get up from. But I did, and I got everyone up for the day, because YAY! They were all in their beds. Win!
My mom is the most loving human to walk the earth, and offered to bring lunch over and eat with us. We ate a good meal, and I got the little boys down for their nap. Then, I left mom with the kids and I ran off to the city to get the side of my head re-shaved. It was a GOOD drive there, with GOOD music and GOOD fresh air.
I made it to my appointment, and my hair girl began. Probably 20 minutes in, I started to get whoozy. I blew past it, though, knowing I was sitting down and fine where I was. I just closed my eyes and rested. But it wasn’t getting better. I was wiping sweat off my face and seeing spots.
She walked me out and took a picture of my hair (because its beautiful, as always!!) and then helped me get to the bench, where I blacked out.
Ugh.
I got my bearings and everything was fine, but I decided to skip the couple of errands I needed to run and just go straight home. I was super discouraged.
I HATE when that kind of thing happens. Its not the first time something like this has happened at a weird, inopportune time. I often black out in waxing appointments when I’m further into a pregnancy when I’m laying down and the baby crushes my organs. I blacked out multiples times in a Dollarama in the same visit. That was a fun one. I blacked out while getting my nails painted once. And all the time at home, though I’m quicker to just sit down and get my dizziness under control before I actually fall. It just drives me completely up the wall!! I ate a good, hearty lunch. I drank water. I did everything right. My blood pressure isn’t even that low this time around, when it has been in past pregnancies. What gives?!?!
So, rant over. I’m just feeling bummed. It was such a nice outing, and break, and breather, and I feel so frustrated that my body struggled so hard to keep me off the floor. Dang it, Hailey’s body! Keep it together!!
Maybe I’m just getting old. It is my birthday tomorrow…..