The Daily Hailey

I felt SO much backup after our ordeal yesterday at the hair place. I was very upset about Dekker’s tantrum and how the whole event played out, which I think is justified to a degree, but I think I figured out why it upset me quite so much! I slept maybe two hours last night, I just couldn’t wind down, but it gave me time to think. Do you remember earlier this year, we had this awful run in at Walmart? Someone said hi to him, and he just lost it. He screamed and kicked and was completely out of my control until we left the store. I couldn’t talk him down, I couldn’t gain eye contact, I couldn’t get his attention or hold his hands or anything. He was just gone. It was because of that instance that we decided that he needed a break, and for the next 4-6 months or so, we took Dekker absolutely nowhere. No stores, no restaurants, hardly any church even. Granted, his behaviors had been escalating up to that point, and that was just the cherry on top. The break we gave him was WONDERFUL and he’s come so far! He loves going in to businesses, and he loooves restaurants. He handles himself beautifully, and even had the nerve to order a smoothie at Cora’s once all by himself. Last night, his reaction to his haircut was the same reaction he had to that poor man at Walmart that dared speak to my son. The exact same screams; out of control. At our Walmart excursion, when we were finally at the van, I just bawled and bawled in the drivers seat. I called Brady, and he left work an hour early to come help me. I was done. So this time around, thinking he’d be on way better behaviour that the past because he was sooo much better at social situations, I was completely overwhelmed and honestly, a bit afraid I think. I think thats what happened, and why I was so upset by his actions. I felt so much love from all of you guys. Comments on the blog, on Facebook, private messages, and texts all poured in. I’m so glad its not just us who have been there, done that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Seriously.

So on that note, today has been better. Like its been a bit rocky, but definitely better than yesterday. We’re doing a lot of cuddling and being quiet. Laundry went all morning, and Dekker was my big helper, totally unprompted. He followed me to the laundry machines when I went to switch out a load and insisted he pull everything out of the dryer on his own. “Makes mommy happy?” he asked. I praised him up and told him I was sooo happy for his help. Then, he wanted me to pass him all the drippy clothes to put into the dryer. My boy, covered in cool water, asks “Mommy proud of me?” I really really am, yes, Dekker. Once he closed the door, he grabbed a handle of the basket and pulled it out of the room and over to the dryer rack. “Just help mommy fold this…” I heard him say as he walked away. No word of a lie. He is really, really trying. He was right beside me as I struggled to stuff quilts into space saver bags, his simple comment being “Oh! Ziploc!” And he did his best to entertain Laela while Brady finished the long process of backing up our Mac!!! Its completely reloaded, updated, and the iMessage glitch is finally gone and is back to being a usable program!!! I’m so relieved to have actually gotten a couple of things done while the kids were up! At nap time, I could see Dekker start to wind up and get upset, so I grabbed him and hugged him, and he immediately just climbed up on me. So I carried him to his room and he went down fairly uneventfully. It was a huge improvement.

Since the kids have went down for their nap, Brady has somehow managed to pack what we thought was a solid two loads of garbage into his van into ONE LOAD! The closest landfill we could find that was open today was all the way to the city, so he’s off for a few hours. I’m sooo excited to see that garbage go! To celebrate, I started bringing some things from my overfilled pantry down into my newly spacious furnace room. You know, the big stuff, like flats of drinks, boxes of granola bars, and pretty much everything that we buy in bulk. I’m thrilled to already see a huge improvement in my pantry and tons of space still on my furnace room shelves! I accomplished a bunch in there, and the last load of laundry is in. I feel good. Tired, but way better than I felt yesterday.

Maybe when the kids get up, they can “help” me sort through the Tupperware/plastic containers. I’m thinking they’d actually really like that 🙂 And seriously, who needs that many margarine containers???

Thanks again for everyone who sent love or encouragement, whether you told me or not. I felt so supported yesterday. And today. And often. You guys rock.