Ok guys, I’m going to do my very best with todays post. Though I’ll tell you right off the bat there are no belly pictures. That would involve standing, which is not on the books for me today. Complete and utter TMI, I was unbelievably sick last night, puking and pooping and up constantly. I literally slept maybe a half hour. I admit that I did venture out for a physio appointment this morning because rebooking would have left me waiting so long, but I’ve been in bed ever since, minus a bath. I can hardly stand, and I’m dizzy and disoriented. So basically, this might not be the very best series post yet. If it going downhill fast, I’ll ask Brady to type it out for me, but hopefully it won’t come to that. Let’s just begin.
Size/Comparison: This weeks size comparison is pretty vague, I’m not sure what to tell you. The particular chart I like to follow compares the baby to an action figure. That’s a pretty wide range of sizes, so I found another one that suggested the size of a bell pepper. I don’t know man, but the kid is getting big in there!
How am I feeling mentally: In all honesty, I’ve had a very anxious week. Or maybe even just an anxious last few days. The lake was amazing, and healing, and I felt a definite improvement in lots of things. I felt like my mind and heart took a deep breath as Theo’s due date came and went, which was strangely peaceful and relieving, but I’m so nervous about my body aching and seemingly giving up on me so early in the game. I’m nervous to be useless and unmoving. There is so much to worry about, but I’m very much looking forward to my appointment with Dr. Guselle this week. She values mental health so strongly, and I know I’ll be able to talk to her and she’ll provide me with literally any and all resources that I might need. Its not been the best week for my mental health, and if you’ve read the posts over the last couple of days, you probably picked up on that. I’m trying, though. Trying so hard. I want so badly to be positive.
How am I feeling physically: Haha! Today, I feel like absolute garbage. Its been interesting. But over this last week of pregnancy as a whole, I feel like my physical health is improving in some ways. I feel like my nausea is maybe on the way out, and while my pelvis is starting to slip out of place and hurt me when I walk, its still early in the game, and I’m hopeful that my physiotherapist will be able to help me manage at least some of the pain I’m having.
Appointments: I had physio this morning, though I probably shouldn’t have gone. She picked up on my sickness right away and let me lie down through my appointment, though. Guys, I have to say, my physiotherapist is the absolute best. She is SO understanding, and SO positive, and SOOO knowledgable. She validated my anxieties and fears about my body, and took her time in giving me a few tips to start out with. She worked on my body a little bit and said she can already tell that I’m walking defensively, in preparation for my body to hurt, BUT she doesn’t speak in an accusing way. I don’t know how she does it, but she says things like “I know exactly why you’re walking like that, and you’re clearly not even doing it intentionally” and I never am made to feel like I’ve done the wrong thing. She wrapped up our appointment today by saying that if only one thing gets through to me today (because I was SO out of it) she wanted me to be reassured that the pain I had in my last pregnancy isn’t just the inevitable. We CAN manage it, and we WILL manage it. There is hope. I really really needed to hear that today. She reminded me that perfect is not something she is asking for, and that I should just try my best. It felt great, and hopeful. I’m glad I went.
Baby Buys/Wish List: I bought two pairs of denim capris for fall, since Thyme was having a beautiful sale! They fit SO nicely, and I haven’t been able to find capris for a couple of years now. But seriously, they have a soft belly panel, and I paid about $13 each. I’m trying not to shop too much at all this summer, but seriously, this couldn’t be passed up. I’ll wear them all through fall.
How are the kids feeling: At the lake, I braved up and wore two piece bathing suits, and Rowan would ever so gently put his finger in my belly button and say he could see the baby in there. Which was pretty great, and hilarious, and made me feel like it was worth it to have my soft wrinkly tummy out in the sun, even if I was self conscience. Also, I posted on Facebook and Instagram the other day, but in case you somehow missed it, I’ll just share the picture again.
Ro found the one stuffed toy that belonged to Theo, poached it off my dresser, and whispered “I love you, Theo” to it over and over again. I don’t claim to know how much kids know about Heaven, or what insight they have that we as adults don’t, but that both broke and warmed my heart. Even though it really hurts, I’m so glad the kids talk about their baby brother so normally, even though they never got to meet him. They mention him every time we talk about Jesus and Heaven, and how a BIG pro of going to Heaven will be meeting Theo. I love that. Our kids are awesome. Forgive the tangent, please. Ro is going to be a wonderful big brother to our little papoose.
The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: I don’t know. I feel SO gnarly right now, its hard to think of positives. But I think whats exciting about being pregnant this week is the realization that time is actually passing, and our pregnancy is moving forward. Guys, I’m 16 weeks!! Fully into my second trimester, not too far from finding out the gender of our baby. I’m starting to feel better with my nausea (minus last night, obviously) and I feel like soon we’ll be in the stage of things where I can feel a bit more normal and well. While I’ve been having some worry and anxiety this week, I do feel hope, and I think thats a really important thing this week.
Anything else: In the last few days, my baby has been LOVING candy. Like far too much. Thankfully, since we have kids, it seems we are so often given candy, and while our kids can definitely have some candy, they NEVER eat all of it. So we usually have candy stashed away in our pantry, and this week, it was just perfect 🙂 Nerds and Skittles were huge winners! Yum yum yum.
Pictures: Nope. Not today. I can’t stand up, and I don’t look nice. Maybe I’ll try and get one tomorrow but nope, not today.
Sorry its been such a strange post. Had I written this yesterday, it might have been totally different. I don’t feel miserable in my pregnancy, just in my general weakness and soreness today, thats all. We had so many fun plans for today and they all got foiled. We didn’t get to make pickles with my mom, Brady didn’t get to work on their deck, the kids didn’t get to hang out with Grandma and Grandpa, etc. Hopefully I’m in better shape tomorrow! A night of sleep should help. Wish me luck!