*wrapping up bedtime prayers*
Me: Lord, be close to Dekker and give him a restful sleep tonight, even if he is a turd burglar. Amen.
Dekker: Um. Mom. What’s a turd burglar?
Me: It’s exactly what it sounds like. Someone who steals poops.
Dekker: And. Why would someone do that?
Me: You tell me, turd burglar.
Dekker: *hysterical laughter as I leave the room*
💩🥷
Goodnight, all you turd burglars out there.