A few days ago, the evening felt like a total and complete disaster. The kids fought supper SO hard, and I went from patient and understanding to stark raving furious at them. I’d remind them to eat, they’d say “Ok mom” and then just keep talking. I swear, you’d think they were just never hungry.
Except Dekker. Dekker ate lots, and completely accepted my answer when I said we wouldn’t have dessert. He asked for a little more salad instead, and then I let him get down from the table. Everyone else sat and picked at their plates, clearly just trying to wait out the clock.
When the time came to tidy up toys and get the evening routine going, I freaked out a little. Laela cried, and all four kids at the table apologized. They offered up that they knew what apologies were and that they were going to turn it around. So I gave them five more minutes. But they continued to doddle, and I grew more and more frustrated. I was angry at them for not caring about what I wanted from them, and I was angry at myself for giving them more time, and I was angry that my basement was wrecked and if I let them go tidy up their mess, they’d be getting out of supper, but if I made them stay at the table, they’d get out of tidying. I was in a bind.
So I came to peace with my decision, where I decided they would stay at the table, and the mess to clean up tomorrow would just be bigger, and that would be fine. One by one, they either finished their food, or gave up and decided to go to bed. Each kid used the bathroom and went to bed, and then I made the rounds to tuck them in, pray with them, and say goodnights.
Except Dekker. Because he had done really well! As I headed down to tuck Solomon into bed, I found Dekker in the basement, tidying up the toys. Little toys were spread everywhere and he was carefully putting each thing in its spot, WAY more carefully than they do on a regular day. I was completely floored, and sputtered out a surprised “thank you!” He didn’t want any recognition, and kept his head down while he tidied, briefly saying “you’re welcome” and nothing more.
Once everyone was tucked in, Dekker offered to help if I needed any other help. Being the monster I am, I actually did ask him to do another job! How awful is that?! I asked if he’d be willing to put the chairs up on the table. We do that every night so Meryl can run around and clean up the dining room really well. He agreed and got right to it, happily. I finished putting some leftovers away and then we were both done our jobs. He plunked down in a chair in the living room to read, and I plunked down across the living room from him to stare at nothing.
But that just didn’t seem right. And I know the way to that mans heart.
“Dekker, do you want to have some dessert with me?”
He lit UP!! He was SO excited! I went to the kitchen and scooped him a big bowl of a really indulgent dessert. He started to shut his book and come over to the table, but I told him I trusted him to eat on the recliner. Again, he was completely thrilled. He sat in the comfy chair, and I sat on the couch just next to him, and we ate dessert together. A really good treat for a REALLY good attitude and a job well done!
When the time came for bed, he actually noticed it before me. He wandered into the kitchen the checked the time. He informed me it was time for bed, and I asked him if he was tired. Because he definitely looked it. He assured me he wasn’t tired, but rather he was “kind of missing my bed.” And that was that!
I tucked him in, prayed with him, and we snuggled for a few more minutes. I just couldn’t get enough of him. He was SO warm and caring and loving. And why should I be surprised? Because that is how he IS!!!
Dekker, you ACED it! I am absolutely thrilled with the young man you are becoming! Your selflessness, your ability to read the room, and the ability to work hard are all remarkable qualities of a boy your age, and many boys much older than you, too. I am so unbelievably proud to be your mom!!! I love you!