So, confession time. We did not take Dekker to the dentist before kindergarten like we were supposed to. Everyone is supposed to take their kid in before they start school, and we did not. Dekker was in such a state of fear still at that age, and after thinking a lot about it, we thought rather than do a “gentle” first appointment and coming back a few months later for the real thing, we would just give him time to age and gain confidence. We know him pretty well, and this was just better, even though its not the popular recommended choice.
With the new school year creeping up, I kept thinking “Yikes! We have to take this kid to the dentist!” I was in a great groove of planning and organizing the last few weeks of summer when everything fell apart last week. Its been one week. At this exact time last week, we were with our doctor for the second time that day, talking about the steps we needed to take next after finding out our baby had died. Again. Its been a completely devastating week, obviously, and anything beyond getting out of bed to pee takes serious effort. Even that does sometimes. I was starting to feel pretty hopeless about Dekker heading to school, and all the things we need to do before that happens. And then Brady offered to make the call and book him a dentist appointment. The thought of going into a new situation with him where he might be scared makes me feel so nervous, because I’m just not strong right now, and I don’t know what I’d do if he panicked. Lucky for us, Brady is home for the next few days at least, and he was happy to take Dekker. So the appointment was booked for Thursday afternoon – today.
I had a VERY difficult morning, if we’re being honest. I never know how much to talk about on here, on this subject, but I’ll say that more reminders keep popping up of our beautiful Jamin, and I’m struggling with feeling angry with my body. But I’m trying to roll with the punches and be as graceful with this whole thing as possible. Its not especially graceful at all, but I’m keeping my expectations pretty low.
When I did finally drag myself downstairs, I asked Dekker how he was feeling about the dentist. I suggested, “Are you excited?” He said “No, because actually I’m frightened.” Frightened!! We had a good chat about it and I tried to encourage him to ask lots of questions if he’s nervous, and to ask for breaks if he needs them. I told him that things might feel funny or taste funny, but that the people who he met would likely tell him everything they were going to do before they did anything. He seemed ok, even though he insisted that he was scared.
The three other kids napped today, so I did the same and hung out in bed, resting my body and mind. I was SO happy to hear about Dekker’s appointment when they got out!
Ready?
Dekker loves the dentist.
He was nervous at first, of the cleaning, but they suggested he just lay on Brady. So they stacked the boys up on the chair and got started. He didn’t cry or fuss or fight. He giggled his way through the little buzzing brush, the water hose, and the suction hose. When his cleaning was done, Brady slipped off the chair and Dekker was more than comfortable in the chair on his own. From there, he had x-rays, that he cooperated with perfectly, and then he met the dentist to have his teeth checked and counted and whatever else. Apparently, he has the exact right number of teeth as expected, plus three of his 6 year old molars are surfacing. They mentioned that his teeth are pretty tight together, so he should be flossing (seriously, has anyone NOT been told they should floss??) and BEST of all, he has NO cavities!! That felt like a huge win, and a relief. Not that kids who get cavities aren’t cared for, I’m definitely not putting ANYONE down, but neither Brady or I had ever had a cavity before adulthood, and I’m hoping our kids have a similar experience. I wondered if I’d kick myself for not taking him last year if he needed a lot of extra dental work. But nope! Dekker’s teeth are straight, they fit his mouth, they’re coming in at the right time, and so far, they’re healthy. I’m so so thankful!
Thats his fake posed smile, lol! His actual bite is pretty ideal. Just a bit of an overbite.
The boys are on their way home now, and the nappers are starting to wake up. Its been a nice quiet afternoon alone, but I’m so happy my littles all slept well, and that my oldest actually enjoyed the dentist and had a good experience.
Its been a successful day on these home fronts. As for me, its been a struggle. We are one week out from having our baby son, and I’m in a strange place of looking for urns online and crying until my nose is peeling, and being too tired to cry anymore and trying to be productive around the house. We are being so well cared for, though, for which I couldn’t be more grateful. I have yet to have to prepare food, and I know for a fact that supper is coming for the next few days at least. We’ve been gifted with many treats, coffees, flowers, meals, etc.
We KNOW that people are thinking of us, praying for us, and sorrowing with us, and while I’m sad to bring people to sorrow, it is an interesting level of wonderful to know that people care about us and were anticipating our new son as much as we were. Thank you, once again, for all your love <3