Coping and Hoping

Its come up a handful of times recently that Brady’s mobility has changed. Not uncommon with spinal cord injuries. There are just SO many nerves, it’s easy to tweak things and have something big change. So when Bradys legs started to weaken a little bit more and he started having a bit more spasticity, we started looking into it. 

Some of the doctors were very angry that Brady had taken magnesium, and even angrier that he had seen a chiropractor. But once they got over their initial disgust for our choices, they said its possible his spinal column had been injured, but that we needed an MRI to know for sure. Because when you’ve had grade 4 glioblastomas, specialists tend to lean pretty far towards the worst case scenario. Which we can all understand. 

A referral was put in for an urgent MRI. We didn’t get a call for a week, so Brady called MRI booking, and they informed him, since he had two referrals in the queue currently – one routine and one urgent – they just lumped them together and booked him for May. 

Which was not acceptable. After hounding and fussing for quite some time by both Brady and his medical team, the soonest he could get an MRI scheduled was March 16th, which at the time was about a week and a half away. 

However, as we awaited the 16th, Brady mobility really started to give out. His legs spasmed constantly, knocking him over. He started falling. He stopped being able to pee when he felt he needed to. His legs and back were becoming weaker very quickly. Every morning, he would wake up to something else. So we decided to hit the ER last Saturday, March 8th, and see if he could get an MRI. The waiting was getting out of hand. 

The place was packed, which was pretty discouraging. Brady went up to register, and we sat for a minute before they called us to a back little room to answer a few more questions. Brady mentioned how there is a possibility of tumour regrowth, just to get them to really take him seriously. 

And they did. 

And thank goodness. 

Brady was sent in for an MRI very quickly. It was a long MRI. Two hours ish. Top to bottom. Brain to butt. The entire central nervous system. 

We hardly waited after his scan before we heard from neuro. Bradys surgeon, Dr. Fourney, was on call for consult, but he had decided to come in to see us personally. 

I’m sure you can see where this is going. 

So.

Brady’s spinal tumour is back. In full force. Bigger. And more aggressive. It has actually come back as two separate tumours, situated along his spinal cord, just above and just below where the original tumour was. Each tumour is about the size of the first, meaning this is double the damage. It is growing quickly. And it is growing up. It is currently juuuuust below the cervical spine, which is basically the base of his neck up to his skull. 

Here is what we have learned about Bradys cancer. 

It is mean. As we take it out, it grows angrier and will come back faster and more aggressive. It has showed its cycle, and Bradys neurosurgeon believes it will continue to do the same thing.

Here is where it sucks. 

The ideal solution would be to remove it. However, Dr. Fourney believes that in the six ish weeks it would take to heal post-op, before starting any cancer treatment, the tumour would grow back yet again, bigger, and worse. The higher the tumour grows, the worse the situation gets. In this case, surgery would do more harm than help. 

So. We’re not going to take it out. 

*deep breath*

I know. Hear me out. 

After speaking at length with Brady’s radiation oncologist, this is the plan in place that everyone feels best about. 

Brady is going to have radiation right above the top of his highest tumour. So likely right at the base of his cervical spine. The exact mapping of which vertebrae will be hit directly will happen first thing next week. But they will hit that point of his spinal cord very aggressively, effectively stopping the tumour from going any higher and doing any more damage. With Brady’s first run with cancer a few years ago, he was given the maximum dose of radiation he was allowed to have on his spine before causing damage. And now he needs more. As in NEEDS more. So, with this treatment plan, Brady will lose all use of his legs. He will go from having an incomplete injury to a complete injury. From being a walking paraplegic to being completely wheelchair bound. 

As devastating as this sounds, he is already there. Brady used to have feeling in his right leg, and it is now to about 5% or less. He used to have strength in his left leg, and now it is completely limp. He used to have a couple of functioning ab muscles, but now, if he bends forward in his chair, he needs to push/pull his body back up. Much has changed. Much. So permanent paralysis being the downfall of this treatment feels manageable, since Brady has already been thrust into that boat, whether he likes it or not. 

Once the tumour is stopped in its tracks, they will revisit the possibility of doing more radiation on the tumours themselves, but right now the priority is to stop them from expanding further up. 

We are in it now. We are working hard to get in contact with all the right people. Brady is reconnecting with the rehab facility at City Hospital. Hoping to get some help from the medical social worker in applying for some funding. Also looking into some programs Brady is connected to, and investigating our insurance, both private and through work. We have purchased grab bars that need to be installed throughout the home. We need to make changes to his wheelchair and to our ramp. We have borrowed some medical supplies and Brady is testing them out to see what works and what doesn’t. We are looking into how in the world he is going to get into the bus, and brainstorming how we will ever make the lake life work for us. 

The more I type, I can feel my anxiety bubbling up inside of me. Its hard to lay it all out this way. It’s hard to be apart from Brady right now, even for short spans of time. But if you know Brady, you know he will keep on keeping on 💜 Which is a beautiful quality of his. 

We are managing. Grieving. Accepting. Continuing. Lots has changed, and there is more to come. No matter the challenge, however, God remains the same. There is no way would be coping without Him. God is good. All the time. 

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