Our long awaited visit with some of my siblings has arrived! My sister and her husband are out for the weekend, and it was sooo good to go visit for the day. We told Dekker this morning where we were going and he brightened up immediately. Its so cool to see him excited to see people rather than be nervous about it, and he really remembers them from Christmas when we saw them last. Thankfully, he was comfortable with them right away when we arrived. Laela, on the other hand, but a bit more hesitant. No big smiles or warmth, but rather holding onto me with a death grip for the first half hour or so. It didn’t take long after that for her to want to get down and play, though, and all was normal again. Rowan is still pretty unaware of his surroundings so he did great being held by new people all day. He was an agreeable little lump.

In the afternoon, when the kids went down for their wildly sleep-free naps, Caity, my mom, and I made paska buns! For those who don’t know, paska is a sweet, yummy, easter bread. We spread icing on top and add sprinkles. Its a delicious treat, and a very special treat that we only make over easter. So we made the dough, let it rise, beat it senseless, let it rise again, made it into buns (because they’re more fun that slices of bread), let them rise, and finally baked them. The consensus was that they were delicious and soft and PERFECT! Easily the best paska I’ve had in years. I always love paska, but its always a little bit dry and crumbly, and this was not at all that way. It was delicious.

The kids played hard into the evening. Luckily, I had planned ahead and brought jammies for everyone. So we did diapers and jammies at grandmas house before cleaning up and taking everyone home. Dekker and Laela slept on the drive home, so we carried them in and put them right to bed. No, they are not the kids who stay asleep during the transfer, but we didn’t really talk to them, and they were carried the whole way, so it was very calm and restful. I haven’t heard a sound from their room since we put them down.

We’ve still got Rowan to put down, but I’m anticipating a soak in the tub soon. I’m not sure about a snack tonight, though. I am full to the brim from our taco supper and paska for dessert. And I know there will be even more deliciousness tomorrow! This is such a quick visit, but we’re so thankful to have it! On that note, I’m off! Hopefully everyone enjoyed the stat as much as we did!

I took the kids out today, all on my own. Maybe it sounds easy, or like I should have done this weeks ago already, but I’ve been so lucky to have had Brady around a decent amount since Rowans been born, so I haven’t needed to go out with the kids on my own yet. I’ve got them all ready and to the city, but I haven’t actually taken them in anywhere, just the four of us.

So I made the pretty lame call to take them to the last surviving Target location on the opposite side of the city on its very last day, right around lunch. Genius, I know. Parking was far and I could barely muscle the cart through the slush by myself. It was pretty challenging actually, but the guy holding the sign promised 80% off of everything! So I had to try!

Sooo Target was an absolute wasteland. Thats the only way I can describe it. Immediately the kids were quiet. We all sort of observed the store from the entrance, as if hesitant to enter. Large spaces empty except for garbage. Babies screaming. A funny smell. No one was smiling. Disaster area.

I tried to keep it light. I figured, we had no deadline, so we could wander and take our time, no sweat. However, almost everything was picked clean. The products that were still available to purchase were confined to carts lining the main aisle through the store. People were surrounding them like *insert gross analogy about animals eating each other* and therefore, blocking the aisles with their carts. It took very few moments of that before Dekker got nervous riding on the back of the cart and wanted to come walk beside me. Which is fine until someone bumps into someone else and he gets even more nervous. So here I was, walking through the makeup with my son walking beside me, while fully hugging my left leg. So I waddled (or stood still because no one can move in those aisles either) and tried to talk with Dekker and make it all seem normal.

There was almost nothing left. People weren’t kidding. Even down the makeup aisles, everything that was still on the shelf was either open or obviously destroyed. I found a few little things that I snapped up, but very little. Finally, I knew Dekker was at his breaking point and decided to go line up. I figured, even if we had to wait a while, at least in the line up we wouldn’t be as crushed by people and we would be able to see more of our surroundings. Well, was I right! The line snaked all the way to the back of the store. We picked up a few more products while we waited in line, but for the most part we just talked about how Dekker “wasn’t feeling well” but that we’d be done soon and we’d go get some food.

Almost an hour later, we made it to a till, and finally, Dekker lost it and burst out crying. And in turn, so did Rowan. I’m pretty sure everyone else in that store was feeling the same way, so thankfully, everyone was really understanding and no one gave us dirty looks or even seemed perturbed. Our cashier immediately snagged what she figured was for Dekker – a toy boat that he had saved from the rubble – and passed it to him. He calmed right away. I thanked her for understanding my kids, and she just raved about how patient he had been and that she was very proud of him.

As soon as we were moving again, Rowan calmed. Laela was fine the entire time, which was amazing considering she’s the mischievous one who I expected to be the most antsy. We walked back out to the van, and the sun had cleared up all of that thick slush we could barely get through before. I loaded everyone into the van and got them some food, a milkshake for me, and a coffee for Brady, and we drove off to Brady’s current house to bring him a treat.

The drive home was quiet and long. Everyone was bushed. But it was good and successful and I’m glad we went. No, we didn’t accomplish a heck of a lot, but now I have officially taken the kids out on my own. I know I can now! And this was NOT an easy place to try out first, thats for sure! But we did good, and I’m confident that a trip to Costco or Superstore or Walmart next time will be even smoother. Because this one was insane!

I have earned a relaxing evening but I don’t think its in the plans. A couple loads of laundry need to get done before the weekend, and I’m a day or two behind on dishes, which means I’m getting low on bottles for Rowan. Stuff has got to get done!! On it!

LAST THING! I promise! Rowan can FINALLY fit jeans! They’re a bit big, but I did my math wrong a couple of days back. In 3.5 weeks, he’s gained 3 lbs 5 oz!!! He’s growing at Dekker’s rate, he just started smaller 🙂 We may have another tank baby on our hands very very soon!

Look at that faaaaace!!! He’s so sweet!

The kids and I stayed in today, and I can’t begin to tell you how nice it was. I’m not sure when the last time was that we weren’t either out and about, or doing jobs around the house. I mean, besides normal routine jobs, like dishes or making the bed. I feel almost lazy, but I’m trying to be smart, and I think having a few days like this is important.

Dekker looked so adorable with his new haircut yesterday, and it carried over like crazy! He looks so grown up and I’m pretty sure he knows it. He had a great attitude all morning, which was super refreshing! Laela was chipper like she often is. And Rowan wasn’t so hot today, but he and I had a rough night. I have to say, after the longest and slowest drink the world has ever seen, plus three diaper changes, I was pretty over that particular night feeding. Of course, he couldn’t get his burp out which resulted in me getting up to burp him about six times after said feeding before he finally got his relief and he went to bed. Its ok though, he’s still pretty cute.

The kids played great in the morning, and napped well in the afternoon. Again, Rowan took a little convincing, but its to be expected. This evening, we had frozen pizzas and I have to say, with Dekker’s favorite cheese pizza on the table, he asked to try the bruschetta pizza. We’ve never been able to convince him to even try it, but he ate a whole piece and a half before deciding he liked the cheese pizza better and switching back. I know it seems small, but it actually isn’t. Its exciting that he’s willingly trying new things! Go Dekker!

I’m hoping to venture into Saskatoon tomorrow, just for a little bit. We don’t need anything specifically, but this is my very last shot at Target before it officially closes this weekend! I’m not shopping over Easter weekend, so now is my chance. I hate to think of all of those lipsticks that I’d be abandoning if I didn’t go give them a chance! So the babes and I might try to duck into the city, just for an outing and maybe a treat 😉 I like my kids. Like a lot. If anyone cares to join us, just let me know!

Sorry, everyone, for my break down yesterday. Ok, I’m not sorry in the way that I wish it hadn’t happened. I mean, its not always nice for that stuff to happen so publicly, but that my my choice so I can’t complain. I feel like the way I felt yesterday showed me that I needed to slow down. So today, I didn’t do any house stuff. I had a really nice morning at home with the kids, taught Dekker the word “cappuccino,” and washed my hair. Around noon, I began the process of getting everyone ready to go out for the afternoon. We had a big afternoon planned and of course, we all had to look our best. I wish I had gotten pictures of the kids but, as it tends to happen, we ran too late to really take the time. But they all looked ridiculously trendy and awesome.

Dekker and I have been talking about todays plans for several days now. We’ve been going over the order of events regularly. “We’ll go to the doctor for mommy and Rowan, then we’ll go get your glasses fixed, and then you’ll have a haircut!” At the end, he would get a goofy look on his face and add “And then a smoothie?” Dekker set the stakes for today. He told me last week that he was ready for a haircut. His exact words were “Dekker won’t scream at the haircut, and then we get a smoothie.” Not a question, but a statement. He decided, and I agreed. So we added the haircut to the day that we had doctors appointments.

We picked Brady up first, and then headed to the doctor. As usual, it was a really nice appointment. it was my six week (except we’re actually only at five weeks) postpartum check, and Rowans general well baby check. For my info (more for my interest than yours, I suppose) I’m seven pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, which I’m happy with. My blood pressure is low, hemoglobin is good, and my cervix is closed and far away as it should be. I’m good to go. Rowan is doing great too! He weighs 11 lbs 14 oz, which is about two pounds gained in three weeks! He’s hanging out in the 85th percentile. She liked all of our answers to her questions and says he seems to be in good health. Once we were all good and done, I asked her about Laela. I realized recently that I never booked her an appointment and while I couldn’t remember for sure, I feel like 18 months was a time that she was supposed to have one. No hesitation, Dr Guselle said she could check her right then. So Laela spontaneously had a check up! She was incredibly cooperative, and I even tricked her into opening her mouth for the exam. She weighs a (not so) whopping 22 lbs 6 oz (about what Dekker weighed at 5 months) and she is 2’7″ tall, punting her down to the 25th percentile. Its ok, she’s petite 🙂 But she also checks out beautifully. We all left feeling good.

We hit up the glasses place next and got Dekker’s new frames adjusted. They slide down his nose a bit, and we were just hoping they could do something. They tried to convince us to just use a strap, but my gosh, we are so thrilled to be done with the strap and I basically just said that if that was our only option, we would just deal with pushing them up all the time. Oooh, well then they could adjust them a bit and bend the arms a bit more. So they did their best and we’ll see how that goes the next few days. Its hard to know that kind of thing immediately.

Unfortunately, the short drive from the glasses place to the hairdresser was just long enough to lull Dekker to sleep. He was groggy upon arrival, and as soon as he realized where we were, he got a little bit spooked. “I don’t like to get a haircut…” he whimpered. As I’d been doing the last few days, I reminded him the order of events, and he just responded with a hesitant “yes.” We went in and he got all set up on Bradys lap in the chair. Our hair girl, Carlinna, is so good to him and gave him a second when he started freaking out, right as it was about to start. I knelt down beside him and told him the order again. Once again “Yes…” but he was still squirming away from her. I finally made it very clear and I said that, if we didn’t have the haircut, we wouldn’t get to the smoothie. He sat up right away and gave in to the haircut. He didn’t like it, but he toughed it out. Even at the end when I took his glasses off so she could get closer to his ears, he just made it work. And it was so worth it!

We raced out of there afterwards, sped a lot, got the kids home, Brady hauled them out of the van, and I drove to concert choir practice. Jerilee and I made it with a few minutes to spare, but not many at all! We had a great practice, and had a really nice visit in the van before we went our separate ways. She made me feel pretty sane about my freak out and helped me make a short term plan for surviving the next day or two, so I don’t over- or underthink anything. It was so nice!

Now I’m home and everyone is sleeping except Brady and I. Time for a quick bath before bed. My irrational husband was at work today shortly after 5:00am, so I doubt he’ll be awake long, and its dangerous to sleep in water. Rest is good.

Please forgive me for todays post. I keep wondering if my hormones are nuts or if I am nuts or if I’m just stressed out but man alive, my insides physically ache with failure and disappointment. I know I have yet to lose anything, and I know this is a complete overreaction, but I feel like the workup to today has been absolutely huge. We have worked so unbelievably hard to get ready, and still, after all of that, I have failed to reach my goal. It just eats me up to actually put it out there. Its as though I need today to be over so I can just come to terms with it.

My body hurts, and I’m weeping all over my laptop, which can’t be good. I’m sorry this is all the post you get out of me tonight. Its short and pessimistic, but I have nothing left right now.

Too much workup, too much failure.

Goal suck ass.

I had super high hopes for Wonder Week being awesome, and while I think it was in a lot of ways, I’m so happy to see it go! And as it turns out, the first day after Wonder Week has already been so much better!

We took our time getting out of bed and got everyone ready to head to the city. They all looked super cute, if i can be so bold. It was promising to be warm out so Laela even rocked a dress under her jean jacket. The goal for today was to pick up a few little grocery things, as well as the few pieces of material we needed to finish up our house stuff.

As per usual, our first stop at Walmart resulted in buying a number of things we didn’t remember we needed but actually really did. So we left with groceries, and a cardigan for Laela. With it becoming dress weather, she needed a cute little sweater to go with her dresses. We also picked up a couple of bargain bin dvds. It was pretty low key. We crossed the parking lot to the Gap outlet to try and find Rowan some newborn jeans, but it would appear we’ve officially missed the boat on jeans, and everything coming in now is shorts, so I guess we’ll just have to wait for him to fit his 0-3 month jeans. Laela got some summer shorts tho.

Next was Superstore. We needed virtually nothing, but hauled everyone in for the free cookies. Sadly, Dekker took an opportunity right in the beginning of the shop to hit his little sister, so he was taken back to the van, foregoing his cookie. Devastation is the only word that remotely fits his emotion in that moment. It was quite a scene. However, I was down one kids, and quickly earned it back when I found a little girl who had lost her mom. I didn’t rush her over to customer service right away, which might have been wrong, but she had been lost just for a few minutes and hadn’t ventured very far from where they last were together. Maybe that was wrong, I don’t know, but her mom finally called her name loud enough that we heard and everyone was reunited. When all was well, I wandered back into kids clothes and accidentally bought Dekker some great shorts for summer, two pairs of jeans for Laela, and a gorgeous (albeit fake) leather jacket for her as well. Dekker rocks a fake leather jacket as his spring jacked, and we couldn’t pass up this beautiful one for Laela! I’m sure you’ll see it soon. Its almost unfair that we own it, actually. No other kids have a chance now. She is just the cutest thing. After clothes, we bought a couple little grocery things, and went to get her a cookie. Poor Dekker. The cookies were those special m&m ones today. He would have loved that. I also picked up a treat for Brady and I. I’ll tell you about that at the end.

Home Depot was last. Brady and Dekker ran in together and bought some more trim for the house, and when they resurfaced, we went for food. We got some happy birthday frapps from Starbucks, and then some fast food for lunch. Laela is finally capable enough to eat in her car seat without flinging food in every direction. We ate on the drive home. What a beautiful day in the city!

We got home too late to nap the kids, so needless to say, the evening was a bit of a challenge, but my parents came by for a couple of hours and my mom took pictures of the house for us. We feel nervous about it, but I think we’re going to list our home privately for a few weeks before biting the bullet and going with a realtor. I’m just nervous that our house isn’t worth enough to be able to get all the equity we need plus paying a realtor. And we can’t flex too much on the price at all. Plus, if we can sell locally, I’d love to try that first. Hopefully its a smart plan. We won’t doddle this way for too long. Anyway, my mom worked for two hours to get the best angles of all of the rooms, and made it all look beautiful. Hopefully we’ll make our ad tomorrow!!!

Now that the two older kids are sleeping, onto our evening! Rowan is still up but likely not for long. He’s been eating a ton this evening, so hopefully a few more ounces puts him out. Brady and I are having an at-home date this evening. My parents have given us some money for a little date each month as a Christmas gift, so today, we bought our date stuff! We bought a cheap movie, two Tims coffees, and a trifle from the bakery at Superstore. Hopefully dessert and coffee and a movie makes us feel a bit more like a couple and less like two people butting heads over an enormous amount of stress and work. If it doesn’t, at least we’ll sugar crash and sleep well. Thats good too.

Not only is Wonder Week over, but I, in turn, am over Wonder Week. We accomplished a ton today, but we also discovered a few bumps in the road that boil down to us not being able to meet our goal of finishing everything for Monday. I won’t lie. I feel incredibly defeated and discouraged and angry and numb. Not great feelings, and I’m pretty sure a chunk of it is still some residual hormones from having my son four and a half weeks ago, but it is how I feel. Its hard to admit you won’t reach your goals, and that is so often why I keep things like this private. Its less embarrassing that way. But I’m trying to act in confidence and expectation that this process is going to happen! And while I still think it will, my faith is a bit shaken. Yes, I would consider myself “worked up.”

As for the facts, we did accomplish a lot today. We didn’t finish sorting toys last night at all, so we completed that today, and Brady loaded everything we want to store into our van, in hopes that we’ll make it to our storage unit one of these days again. We did some more scrubbing in the bathroom and replaces the faucet. I soaked and cleaned the hot and cold taps in vinegar and they now look brand new. i washed window sills, switched bedding, and did more laundry. Brady tidied up the furnace room, replaced some trim in a few different parts of the house, and swapped out our dryer hose for one that doesn’t require duct tape. We cleaned window screens, did dishes, dusted, swept, and cleaned cobwebs off of the ceiling. We did lots of other things but I can’t remember much. In all honesty, I found today really difficult, all day. I think we all did. I wanted it to be a big exciting work day where we dreamed of what is to come, and felt rewarded at the end. Instead, I feel nauseous and unsuccessful.

I took a shortie nap with Rowan towards the end of the afternoon, which brought a little bit of healing, and now I’m typing this out while Dekker drives his cars on the bed beside me. Its so much harder to concentrate when someone is beside you, going on and on about Pixar characters and asking your opinion on each and every one, but its good to finally be with at least one of my kids in a normal, calm setting. Less stress here. I’ve had my little break with both boys now. I’ve got to get some quiet snuggles in with Laela before the end of the day. If only she’d sit still long enough for that to happen!

While Wonder Week is over, we are foregoing church tomorrow morning and will instead be staying home and getting more work done. Every bit of me wants to just quit for a few weeks. Its exhausting to fail. But the time is now, whether we list on Monday or in a month. We can’t stop now.

Its Friday already!!! Tomorrow is a bit ominous, as there is a lot to accomplish still! Brady brought all of his tools home for the weekend so he can do all of the more gruelling jobs tomorrow, and I have a big clean ahead of me! I sooo hope we get it all done tomorrow, because if not, we’ll have to finish up on Sunday and I would really rather not work on Sunday if at all possible.

I did laundry all day today with the kids, and Brady worked a solid day in the city. When he came home, we looked at our list and realized we needed a few other things, so we ended up heading into the city for the evening. With that, our kids are only in bed now, around 10:00, but we’ll all be home tomorrow, working our butts off, so the later they sleep, the better!

We didn’t get everything we went to the city for tonight, but we were very successful anyway. I feel pretty well set up for Saturday!

Once we get Rowan down here, Brady and I have the large task of sorting through all of the kids toys downstairs. We’re both sleepy and fading, but hopefully we’ll get some snacks, throw on a movie, and make a date out of it! I like a good home date once in a while 🙂

Wish us luck tomorrow!!

I brag about my kids a lot, and I’m sure some people get tired of hearing about them. Thats fine, but that is a regular thing that you get on here, so it can’t be too surprising. This week has been interesting with the kids, to say the least. I can tell that my stressing out is stressing them out. They scrap more than usual, which I can deal with, but sometimes they just reach “that point” where they can’t seem to come back from it. I haven’t seen that in this house for quite some time, but recently, it happens a lot. I’m learning that, even though I’m feeling productive, the kids really do need my undivided attention sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, they play on their own beautifully. Dekker and Laela both always have played well independently. They’ve never had big “PLAY WITH ME!!!!!” breakdowns. But I’ve noticed them suffering a bit in the last few weeks. Maybe “suffering” isn’t the right word, but you know what I’m saying. Struggling? So I’m accepting this and working less while they’re awake. Playtime is important.

This morning, same as yesterday, Dekker was sweet as pie when he got up. He ate breakfast very well, and used his manners more than usual, which is saying a lot since I’m a bit of a manners nazi around here. When he was done, he took his dishes to the sink, pushed in his chair, and went straight for the bathroom. Right now, our bathroom door is closed 24/7 because we have a big Rubbermaid tub filled with cleaning supplies in there, and I don’t want anyone to have too much access to it. Its always closed, but just in case it got left open or they figured out how to open it, we keep the bathroom door closed. At least Laela can’t get into it. But Dekker can, and did. I’m not too worried about it, but I wandered over to see what he was doing in there, and he met me at the door as he was closing it behind him. He had a Swifer. “I want to help you, mommy,” he said. I told him that would be great. He wandered the upstairs, “sweeping” everything with his duster. That included the table, and counters, and everyones tummies. Lots of sweeping to be done. While he swept, I did some dishes, got the bed made, and did a few other normal morning chores. After I had finished all of the obvious stuff, I leaned on the counter and looked at my list for a bit. I don’t know about you guys and lists, but I like mine to look pretty and intentional. If they’re messy, I hate them, and less gets done. Not even kidding. So I had a few different colors of pens out and I was trying to decide what color to use to mark out a few specific jobs when Dekker asked to draw with the different colors. I gave him some paper at the table and he came back and forth to the counter to get new colors. Finally, he invited me to draw with him. I asked if I could color on my list with him, and he agreed that would work. So I sat down at the table with him so we could share pens, and he looked up and me really sweetly and said “This is really nice, mommy.”

It was in that moment where I decided I was done work for the morning. Instead, I pulled out a craft. A craft. Yup. I will be straight up. I like crafty things, and it makes sense that I should want to do crafts with my kids, but I don’t remember ever pulling out a pile of craft stuff with them. I’m not sure they’re at an age where I should be too embarrassed about that yet, but I know there are TONS of moms who regularly rock crafts. I haven’t before, but it felt like a good time to start.

I’m not going to tell you what the craft is yet, because it’ll come up again soon I think, but it was a HUGE success! Dekker did almost all of it by himself, even though it required a little muscle. He shared with Laela and even though it was out of her league to help, she was included and seemed to enjoy herself watching from her high chair.

When we finished up, Dekker helped carry the supplies back to the closet, and then we made lunch. He requested we eat upstairs instead of our usual downstairs, so we did. Its nice to finally have a cheap little coffee table to put their food at their level. I know, they could eat at the table, but their lunch is always just a good sized snack, and they always eat it freely while playing toys. I didn’t want to confine them longer if I didn’t have to. Once their snack was basically done, I pulled out the Windex and began shining up some of the stainless steel appliances and cleaning mirrors. Dekker, once again, wanted to help! So he followed me from room to room with a roll of paper towel, tearing off sheets for me when I asked for them. He loved this job, and pointed out each and every shiny surface he spotted so we could clean it. Honestly, it was actually super helpful because I never had to put the Windex bottle down where the littler, mischievous one could get her hands on it. She is one that walks up to the tub, finds the shampoo on the ledge, and pumps it until you catch her. You can imagine the fun she’d have with a squirt bottle. About a half hour before nap time, Dekker asked to go downstairs. So we went downstairs and had some nice lazy time, watching a bit of tv and playing quiet games.

They went down beautifully for their nap. Once they were settled, I brought Rowan in his seat into the bathroom to hang out with me while I started slicing the old silicone off from around the tub and shower. He lasted a decent amount of time, but became bored and I had to abandon that job. But hey! He is also my kid, and also needs cozy time with his mom. So we cuddled into bed and he had a tiny bit of milk before dozing off. My immediate reaction was “Perfect! I can put him down and get stuff done!” But he is not having it. He’s not wailing and whining, but he isn’t resting soundly at all. Therefore, the work day is on pause likely until this evening, and I think thats ok. I mean, part of me does. The other part of me looks at our list and wants to throw up with how much we have to do.

It’ll get done. Saturday is going to be positively monstrous, but hopefully wildly successful as well! Wish us luck!

We had a great work day today! My mom came out and helped me get some of my priorities accomplished, which feels pretty much amazing. Maybe they wouldn’t be other peoples priorities, but of the things on my list that I can do without Bradys help, they were bugging me the most.

Mom read stories to Dekker and Laela while I puttered around the kitchen a bit, and then we got them fed. Rowan slept almost all day, so if I don’t mention him much, its because he wasn’t exactly participating. We all sat and relaxed for about a half hour before the kids went to bed, so we could all have some food and snuggles and relaxed time. Once the kids went to bed (and Rowan kept sleeping) my mom and I checked the list over and began! We got the basement bathroom beautifully cleaned, scrubbed a stain out of the rug, and dressed the guest bed. Then we moved upstairs and absolutely killed the upstairs bathroom. The water here is pretty hard and, I won’t lie, the toilet and tub were in rough shape. Rough. Really not good at all. I can’t stress this enough. My mom is an incredible sport and was eager to jump on those really big, gruelling jobs. Once she had made a ton of headway on the tub, we swapped and I jumped in to work on the tub while she started cleaning the toilet. I thought that there would be permanent stains but little did I know that calcium buildup comes off! Yes, it requires an absurd amount of elbow grease, but it does happen! Our bathroom is positively sparkly! We still have to replace the tub faucet so it doesn’t drip anymore, but thats pretty much it and the bathroom will be done. I even washed the walls! After bathrooms, I did a bit more wiping down cabinets and doors around the house. I had no idea those little areas around the doorknobs and light switches could get so filthy, but my goodness, it looks so fresh and new around here. I’m so pleased with whats come out of all of this hard work. While there is still lots to do, it feels better, and like we’re actually making progress. I’ve been nervous about getting this all ready, but now I feel ready and motivated. I have much bigger and more pivotal things to be afraid of at this point :/ Merp.

I’m so pleased with today. Not only did we work really hard and get the big ugly cleaning out of the way, but the kids were peaches. Dekker was incredibly helpful and friendly today!! When I go back over it in my head, I feel like it was easier for me to have compassion for him because he had less of an attitude, but maybe he had less of an attitude because I was softer with him. Either way, he was so sweet and loving today, which made my day so much richer. Laela was a bit more snippy with Dekker than usual, which makes me wonder how many of their fights she starts, haha! But she was beautiful and entertaining as all get out, as per usual. And Rowan did exactly what I needed him to do, and slept all day long. I’m a bit nervous about what our night will look like, but he had some wakeful time this evening so hopefully that helps. I guess we’ll know soon…