Its not been a secret that the last week or two have been challenging. But today, our family drove back to what we now call “the old house,” took some pictures, dug the sign out of the lawn, and left our keys. It is officially no longer ours. Its a big but wonderful transition. For the most part, anyway.

The kids seem to be handling the whole thing well in general. No concern about the old house, or where all of their stuff is. They like exploring the new place we’re renting, and the fact that just about everything is still in the sitting room, so there are tunnels and empty boxes and all kinds of fun stuff to get into. I, on the other hand, am going a bit nutty about how much stuff is still out. Its all part of the process, and with me body being so wrecked at the end of the day, there is very little I can actually do about it, which is hard to accept. Plus we’ve been out every evening since we got here, tying up loose ends or getting other things done. So I’m feeling a bit crazy, and I know the kids are feeding off of that to a degree, but they’re thriving in other ways 🙂

Rowan’s eating is getting better and better! He’s been a bit of a challenge with his reflux, mostly because he is always a little bit hungry, and not especially settled. Its actually been a relief in the last little while, as he’s getting better at actually eating solid food, I am able to satisfy his hunger. When he cries out of hunger, I feel more like I’ll be able to help him. I felt pretty helpless before, but this is easier. Today for lunch, he had a good serving of rice and mushroom sauce, and I even managed to teach him a bit about a sippy cup. I think he’s going to take to a different kind than Dekker and Laela did, but I’m on board with whatever he wants. He liked cold milk out of it too. It surprised him, but he took to it quickly. There is hope!

Laela is learning SO much these days, as she and Dekker are playing more together in tighter quarters with fewer toys. (Just for the moment, anyway. We haven’t unpacked all of their stuff yet.) But she is suddenly picking up everything!!! She recognizes lots of colors, she counts a bit, she knows lots of little concepts, like tall and short, light and dark, etc., and she can verbalize it all. Animals and their sounds, everyones ages, and polite manners. I know its not “ahead of the game” for her to know these things, but suddenly she can say so many things! She speaks pretty clearly, too. Not about everything, of course, but if you spent any time with her at all, you’d pick up on her dialect pretty quickly. She’s a total peach. She even makes jokes. Like, funny, goofy ones that pester her brother and make everyone else laugh. Its a cool stage of development for her.

Dekker has embraced this change pretty smoothly. He has his moments, of course, where he scraps with his siblings and just does wrong thing after wrong thing. But that also might just be a stage he’s in. So I’ve struggled a bit with him in this time, just because I feel so out of order, and I desire order, and sometimes he just makes it harder to achieve. But some fabulous things are ever-present in my beautiful four year old son. He is SO helpful. He is so eager to help with any job I can give him. For this reason, I have set up the kids dishes in a place where he can reach them, and he sets their spots at the table. If I sit down to change a diaper and find poop, he offers to go find the wipes. Nothing is where it should be yet, and we have a few opened wipes bags floating around, but never in the same place twice, and let me tell you, he goes on the hunt for some and he brings back wipes every single time. And then this evening. We had run errands, and had gotten home late. Brady was unbuckling the kids while I headed towards the house to unlock the door for everyone. I grabbed the diaper bag and Dekkers backpack full of emergency potty stuff before I left the van. And as I walked away, I heard Dekker call after me “Thanks so much for carrying my backpack, mommy!” I felt so warm from that. My son is not entitled. He recognizes what I do. And he loves me. It helps a lot to see that after these last few days. I’ve struggled, and he’s struggled, but we’re still in a very good place with each other. He is a complete champ.

Baby four has blessed me in the last week or so by being so very mobile, making his or her presence known undeniably. That is all I can ask of this child, that is for sure, but it has made the few moments that I have to just lay still that much sweeter.

All of our beautiful children are tucked in to bed, and Brady is up in the kitchen putting his lunch together and doing a couple of little things around the house. Its hard being so unable to lift and haul, but its just the stage we’re in, and I know I need to accept that. I’m VERY thankful to have a hunky hubby to take care of me and ours at this time.

And God. Because he covers us all.

Lots got done around here today. I had a lovely and relaxing morning with Hailey, which was perfect, actually. Since the sitting room isn’t actually conducive to sitting right now (FULL of stuff) she hung out on the dining room floor with me while the kids ran circles around us. She was my sanity this morning. Thank you for coming, Hailey!!!

My mom came in the afternoon to help me with more setting up. It was actually pretty perfect. We got a bunch done, and made a game plan for the next few days. I know what things I need to get done to feel some sanity again, and when they are realistic possibilities. I’d love to set a goal for when to have these things done, but I don’t want the pressure right now. Also, its not particularly fair, because most of them are things I need Brady to do. Soon enough, those things will be done, and I’ll be able to finish the stuff that pertains to those jobs. It shouldn’t be too much longer. Hopefully.

When Brady made it home after work, he changed, we got the kids dressed, and we took my mom with us in the van. She hung out with the kids while Brady and I met with our lawyer and officially signed away the land title of our house. It was an exciting, short and sweet appointment. We were in and out in fifteen minutes. Afterwards, my mom headed home, and the rest of us ventured out to shop for a few things. My leg/right butt are really giving me a run for my money, so I stayed in the van with Rowan while Brady took the big kids into Home Depot to snag a few things for some repairs around here. They came back, and we decided to grab some supper. For the record, no, we will not always be eating out because we live closer to the city. BUT we will be eating out while we’re getting organized and such. Its a big job. The kids wanted McDonalds, Brady wanted Wendys, and I wanted KFC, so we rocked what we lovingly refer to as a redneck food court, and we compiled all of our food in the van to eat. It was delicious and satisfying. We hit Superstore last, just for a small handful of things. Being in the underground parkade reminded me of this hilarious scene I witnessed a while back. I saw a mom and her fairly young daughter walking to their vehicle. The little girl was super dangerously weaving in and out between cars, not watching or thinking much at all, it seemed. The mother was looking on after her with a death stare, and finally bellowed at her “SERENITY!” I almost peed my pants. It was awesome. The end.

After Superstore, we began the MUCH shorter drive home, and as we drove, I heard Dekker say my name in the backseat. I asked him to repeat himself, and he said “I don’t want you to be in the van.” I clarified that he was talking to me, and he confirmed it. I asked “You don’t want me to be in the van?” He said back, “No mommy, I don’t want you to be in the van!” I was so shocked and kind of confused. I don’t know if I responded or not, or how exactly he ended up clarifying what he had said, but there was a lot of relief when he finally got it out clearly.

“Mommy! I don’t want you to PEEEEE in the van!”

We all had a good laugh, and assured him that I was not planning to pee in the van. And then he simply went “No. Laela. She’s drinkin’.”

And Laela goes “Mook.” (milk)

Anyways, I thought it was kind of an adorable exchange, and Brady and I had a pretty solid chuckle over the whole thing.

When we got back from shopping, it was past the kids bedtime, so we went through the motions of bedtime routine. My leg was really bugging me, so I wasn’t super duper helpful, but I did some tidying with them, and I helped with their jammies. But now that they’re tucked in, I’m in bed, laying flat on my back while I blog since the reclining position only adds to my pain, and I physically cannot relax my legs. Neither. If I do, I get shooting pains up and down my right side. Its unbelievable. I’m trying so hard to follow all of the rules given to me by Dr. Mike, but I’m just struggling over here. But I’ll book in with him again soon so he can fix me back up. I can’t wait! Well, really, I think when I’m not doing as much setting up in the day, I’ll be in better shape. But these are just big days, so they’re harder.

In a positive light (since I feel like this post needs one) as I lay here and blog, I feel my little baby in my womb, dancing and kicking. I’ve been thinking I feel baby for a solid week or two now, but these last few days, I am completely positive. I LOVE being able to feel our new little family member wriggling around in its safe little home within my body. Its miraculous. At 18 weeks, this whole thing is feeling more and more real, and while this is our fourth baby, it hasn’t gotten old. Not. At. All. It is exciting every single moment of each different time. Eek!! Baby four! You’re so big already!

Well, we made it safely to our rental!! Today was smooth, and as I’m sure you can predict if you’ve read my recent posts, it was also overwhelming. It followed the trend of holding more than we bargained for, but had some really bright spots 😀

My dad was back at work today, but Brady was able to push his work back to start on Tuesday rather than today. My mom offered to help us get ourselves situated, and I’m SO glad she did, because we had no idea how much we still had to do! We were lucky to be able to fit the remainder of our stuff into the van and her car. Both were packed FULL. One thing that was completely wonderful was that we made the decision to have our house cleaned rather than tackling it on our own, and the woman who came to clean it arrived before we left, so we were able to pay her in person, and figure out the process of things. She charged a very reasonable price, which always helps in expensive times like moving, and we accepted, paid, and fled.

We arrived at our rental around 2:30. Poor kids. We hadn’t eaten lunch yet at that point, but we did immediately upon arrival. Then my mom helped with getting stuff into the house while Brady unloaded the vehicles and I puttered around a little.

I won’t lie. I’m feeling more “done” than usual. I think its totally justified, and while I’m trying not to dwell on it, I do want to be honest. I think my feelings just come from all of the work we’ve done that has lead up to this point. We have purged and boxed and packed and made decisions and driven a TON and asked for TONS of help and have been going and going and going. Now, our old house is clean, and empty. We have stored and packed everything that needed to go elsewhere. We are FINALLY in our dwelling! And there is still so much work to do, just to get our life in order, you know? Boxes opened and things organized and placed. Just basic stuff that comes with relocating, but man, I wish we were just done. It will come though. We have so much support, and judging from all of the private messages on Facebook and texts I’ve been receiving, it doesn’t seem like it will be stopping soon, for which I am incredibly blessed.

We got the kids down a solid hour past their bedtime, and I’m really at a loss of motivation. But I think we’ve done enough to get through the night and tomorrow. Brady is rocking his role as my protector and support system right now. He’s helping talk me through things, making decisions as I struggle to, and encouraging me that we’re doing good and moving forward. I love you, my Brady. Thank you for being mine, and taking such good care of us through these transitions.

We are here. We are home. For now.

It was SUCH a treat to take today off completely!! Brady and I slept in amazingly, thanks to our fabulously relaxed and quit big kids, and the baby who went back to sleep after drinking his milk at 7:00am. I felt rested, and was barely sore when I got up shortly after 9:00. What a great start!

My parents went to church, and the rest of us stayed in. We had a yummy breakfast that the kids demolished, and watched a bit of low key tv. The kids have hardly watched tv the last few days, which is great, but it was really nice to zone and rest a little. When my parents got home, we made burgers and fries for lunch, and made a plan to not make a plan for the day.

We tossed around the ideas of watching a movie, playing a game, going for a walk, etc. We eventually decided not to make a real plan, and soon after that, my mom and I decided to duck into the city really quickly. I bought some gorgeous and super comfy new jeans at Thyme Maternity the other day, and they snagged! I’m scared that it’ll turn into a hole. Since the snag was not from anything I did, but just a flaw in the fabric, I figured it was worth inquiring about. So she and I got dressed and ready, and headed in to the mall. We did a quick walk through, and my mom found a new top and a dress!! Good colors, great fits, both definite wins! Go mom! Then we hit up Thyme, and they were really good about exchanging my pants. The only difference was that the regular length was no longer on hand in my size. I tried on the petite size and they fit even better than the regular!! My legs aren’t long at all, but usually petite is juuust a bit too short. But not in this case! So that was a big win. Also, my mom treated me to a new top there. I have this one basic long sleeved grey maternity shirt that I practically live in, and this morning, I discovered that its life is almost over 🙁 Really, it should be over already. The pits are all worn and dark and gross 🙁 But I LOVE that shirt. So thank you, mom, for replacing my favorite grey cozy shirt today. As if you haven’t done enough for me this last while, why not buy me some clothes while you’re at it? <3 I love you. Thank you!

We made our way back to the vehicle after a quick stop at Starbucks before heading back to their place for the evening. We enjoyed cinnamon rolls and fruit for supper, and put the kids down for night. Once the littles were down, we watched a bit of tv, and played cards. It was comfy and relaxed and I loved it.

Tomorrow is the day we finally move into our rental!!! We made a bit of a plan, but nothing in great detail or anything that requires a rushed schedule. Not too much left to do! I’m so ready for tomorrow. Its time to move in, and settle. At least for a while!

Guys, I think its over. Almost. Brady and my dad, along with three guys from church, moved basically everything left in our house into the container. With some careful packing and planning, we fit practically everything into our container, minus a TEENY handful of boxes that will live at my parents’ house. All that is left at our old soon-to-be-someone-elses house is our clothing and our cleaning supplies. Its SO empty there! Brady FaceTimed me when they had loaded everything up, and its SO strange to see the place to bare, but I really am thrilled for it. It feels like it is time, and we have waited so long. Its our turn. We ARE moving.

Tomorrow, we are taking OFF! We still can’t get into our rental yet, therefore, we’re living at my parents for another day and night, which is actually really nice! I’m not sure what we’d do if we didn’t have them here, willing to host us for a while. We’d likely be in a hotel, because our house has no beds… or food… or anything. So we’re staying here, skipping church tomorrow, and not surfacing all day. The kids desperately need some normalcy, and we could all use a rest, thats for sure! So tomorrow it is. Brady and I will wrap up the move itself on Monday, and the cleaning will happen in the week. Eek! This is almost it! Finally!

Now, if only the “sold” sign wasn’t frozen into the ground…..

This morning, I woke up at 8:00am feeling awesome! The night before, I had been in some of the worst pain I’d ever been in, and my good nights sleep (and Gods grace) helped me feel about 90% better this morning! I got up within fifteen minutes of waking up, and Brady and I were working hard by 8:30. There was more to pack, haul upstairs, throw out, make decisions about, empty, etc., and we gave it all we had.

My dad showed up shortly after 10:00, and I left the house around 11:00. Before I left, I emptied our freezer out into coolers, and defrosted the freezer itself. We have never defrosted that beast of a thing, and after 6.5 years of use, all of the ice I chiseled out of it was less than a 5 gallon pail. Turns out we have a great freezer! I’m glad we get to keep it, though I’m also glad that I will not be one of the people moving it up our stairs tomorrow. Sorry, guys.

Once the freezer was done, I gathered the kids up and got them into the van and off to my parents. We spent the day with my mom, playing, eating, and attempting to nap. As things tend to go on moving days, the work day was WAY longer than we had bargained for, and the guys were home around 7:30 rather than mid to late afternoon. Crazy stuff! I had kept the kids up because I thought they’d want to say goodnight to their daddy and grandpa, and I still think that was a good idea, but Dekker was having a pretty solid cry when they arrived, and he wailed until he was tucked in, when he and Laela both promptly fell asleep. It was a very full day. I didn’t work as much as the men, obviously, but it was a VERY big day all around. Successful though!

Just about everything we’ll need at our rental is there. A few other little things, like our clothing and a few toiletries, will come when we actually move in, but the vast majority is on site. Thank you, boys!! I’m so thankful I didn’t have to be elbow deep in it today. While I have LOVED being hands-on in our moving process, and actually doing some of the physical work, today would have potentially hurt me a lot, so it was nice to have a day of just child minding, and visiting with my mama.

But the poor boys especially are wiped out. So we’re all off to bed. Lets hope the kids are just as wiped and stay sleeping for a LONG time. They definitely need a good solid rest too!

We have, once again, worked our crazy butts off in this place, to the point of my leg ALREADY detaching from it!! Its unfair, really, but today was the day I finally felt things progress and change. I was motivated in the morning, and got on stuff with gusto. I’ve found these days daunting, no matter how hard I’ve tried to keep a positive attitude about them. Today felt better. Probably because its crunch time. But hey, it worked!

We have a few empty rooms in our house now, and a living room FILLED with boxes! We have our keys and things begin tomorrow. We can’t actually get into our place and live there for a few days, but we’re starting to move things tomorrow. It was going to be a very kushy, relaxed process, and it isn’t so much anymore, but the scheduling that we have is actually letting it be fairly spread out and organized, which feels good too.

This is a bit of a strange way to spend New Year’s Eve, packing and hauling and dismantling our home, but its a very exciting step towards the rest of our lives, and I’m SO very thankful to be doing it!

It wouldn’t be right to end our year sore and crusty, so we’re finished up our tasks for the night, and Brady and I will be taking our last soak in our beautiful tub tonight. Our luxury soaker tub is probably the thing I will miss most about this place. So we’re going to enjoy ourselves a soothing soak, and drain 2015 out with it. Tomorrow morning is when the real excitement begins!

Everyone, have a GREAT New Years Eve! Be safe, and enjoy yourselves immensely! I hope you are all blessed and joyous in the coming year <3

We finally got our Jerilee out for a visit today after SO LONG! I feel like we’ve been hermitting it up a bit these days, but I think our friends have understood and supported the craziness that has been our December. But this business about only seeing Jerilee once a month has gone far enough. No more of this nonsense. So she came into our huge mess of a house, made her way downstairs (the only place in the house that still has furniture) and we had our Christmas together! We exchanged gifts between ourselves, and she spoiled the kids with toys as well. It was such a lovely time to just visit and celebrate and be in each others company.

Because of how life has ran recently, the kids are struggling a bit in a few different ways, and their attitudes are pretty rough. So they went to bed early, which was sad, but they had a really nice time with their auntie first, which helped. When they went down, Brady threw some yummy appetizers into the oven, and we had a very yummy, albeit casual, Christmas dinner together, on paper plates 🙂 It was delicious, and the company wasn’t half bad either. There was lots of encouraging conversation to be had, and lots of planning and excitement. It was so good to get Jerilee back into the house, and hang out, just the three of us.

But time keeps moving, and she eventually had to head home. So she did that, and I’m doing this. Brady is paying a few bills for the month. Then to bed, because its late, and there is always lots to do around here!!!

We are back at our place for the night. After another night at my parents, we had breakfast all together before we loaded up the van and headed out the door.

Quick side note here about packing out group to go places for extended periods of time. This last time, we packed in hampers and tubs, and MY GOSH!, it was SO much nicer than suitcases! It was quick, things didn’t get wrinkled, and packing to go back home was so much easier than usual. I highly recommend to everyone, pack in tubs.

Anyway, we got home and got the kids all settled in with their toys again. We were home for less than an hour before my parents showed up! We are SO thankful for their willingness to come help us pack and organize!! We all stopped for lunch pretty much right off the hop, and then we hit the ground running. We worked for a solid four hours, I believe, before my body gave up. So we called it. Yet again, we got TONS done!! I’ll admit, its so hard for me to see the progress when its all still sitting in my living room in boxes, but walking through rooms and writing stuff down, I can see how much is left, and how far we’ve come. Best of all, as my mom kept reminding me, we still have time here. The buyer doesn’t take possession until January 8th, so while we’d rather just move and be done, if we have to duck back over those last few days a few times, so be it. Rather that than make ourselves sick over this and overdo it. All of this rambling aside, though, I know it’ll all get done, and its been a fairly smooth process.

Tomorrow, we’re taking a bit of a break from the crazy. We’re spending our night here, so we’re going to get up slowly in the morning, and take our time. We’ll putter around a bit and try to accomplish a few things as we can. Its all down to pretty small jobs now. I’ll try to call around and change our address too. And at some point in the day, the always-lovely Jerilee will join us for a little bit of a Christmas. FINALLY! I’m sooo looking forward to that! Its going to be a wonderful day.

I have to say, the one thing I will desperately miss about this house is our delicious bathtub. What a beautiful bathtub it is. So tonight, I am very much anticipating a soak in it, joined by my husband, and a Lush bath bomb. It should be an excellent evening. My aching muscles are SO excited!

Lots of you have likely heard me complain about my right leg pain. I want to explain it a little bit better than I have in the past. My right leg hurts only when I’m pregnant, as my ligaments and such begin to loosen. This pregnancy, I’ve been having issues with my leg since the very beginning. At six weeks pregnant (so only having known I was pregnant for two weeks) I had seen my chiropractor twice for the exact pain. Its not ideal.

Now the pain itself. It sounds like I’m being dramatic, but it honestly feels like my leg is just hanging there; a dead limb barely attached, just pulling on the rest of me. It may as well be detached. When its just achy, I limp around and can laugh at it. When its in really rough shape, it physically can hold no weight. Brady has to walk beside me and basically BE my right leg in order for me to even get around the house.

After SUCH a huge work day yesterday, my leg was at the very worst I have seen it. Laying in bed, completely still, in the “safe” sleeping position that will not hurt my body any further, it was pulling. If I breathed too deep, it pulled. Very sharp pains, almost taking my breath away. As I laid there, still. It was absurd. Luckily, I was completely exhausted, and slept decently well anyway. This morning, however, while I had seen improvement, I was still limping like crazy. So Brady and I called Dr. Mike’s office, and lo and behold, he was working today!

I couldn’t be more relieved. I’m still quite sore, but I’ve been putting off going to see Dr. Mike for a while now, and I’m paying for it dearly. He adjusted me beautifully, and I feel genuinely relief! But still some aches, and then the aches from being put back into place. I’m so pleased, though. I asked some questions, and he gave me so much advice! I was trying to combat this pain all wrong! I’m not supposed to stretch. I’m supposed to move. I told him I physically can’t put weight on it sometimes, but he told me other ways to move my leg without standing even! As long as I’m moving it in the right direction, it doesn’t matter. This makes me feel SO much more hopeful that I don’t have to be in such a shocking pain the entire time I’m pregnant, and can actually maybe maintain myself a bit.

However, I’ve also learned my lesson. At a time of saving money, one thing to NOT scrimp on is chiropractic. Don’t put it off. Its 110% worth it! THANK YOU Dr Mike, for saving my butt today. Literally. My butt. The right side, specifically. I love having my leg attached to my butt once again.