We had a few goals for today. Not many, but some. We wanted to get a good chunk of our stuff organized and settled so that I would then feel settled during the week. We also thought an outing would be useful, since we could really use a Costco run. We had plans.

Our morning really got away on us, however, so we made the kids lunch and continued along with our plans of what we’d accomplish in the afternoon. By the time lunch was done, it was well after 1:00, and we learned that it is absolutely freezing out today!! The kind of day where the vehicle never ever warms up, the kids are cold all day long, and running in and out of stores would likely be fun for no one. So we abandoned all plans, and since it was too late to nap Dekker or Laela, we put Ro down and settled in for a restful afternoon in the theatre room. We watched some tv and cuddled on the couches and the kids made their way up and down the stairs with toys and such.

Weirdly, the day left me completely lethargic. I was hoping for a reprieve, and rest, and renewed joy. Instead, I feel sick and grumpy and surprised that I feel worse rather than better. Its not been the day I’ expected it to be.

But then there is the family. Rowan has perfected the army crawl and doesn’t seem too terribly interested in conventional crawling. He is, however, rocking the polar bear crawl, and is working hard to pull up on things. So he is rocking my socks. Laela came to visit me at one point in the day when I was having a little rest time on my own. She climbed up beside me, leaned her head on me, and just asked “Mommy ‘kay?” I love her sensitivity. I sat beside Dekker at supper today. I usually sit by Rowan and feed him, but Brady offered to feed him today, so I sat by Dekker, and throughout the meal, he would reach over to me and just stroke my arm with my macaroni hands. I loved that. He would just offer me a sweet little smile, and hold my arm while he ate. Part of me is SO SAD that they know so much, and that they’re observing me such a wreck. But they are being loving, and they are learning from it, so I’m only beating myself up a little bit, I guess.

After supper, I was sitting on the kitchen floor, and Brady came to sit with me. He brought his guitar, and we sang a few songs together, which we haven’t done in such a long time! Then we sang a few of the kids favorite songs for them before heading off to bedtime routine. It was a really really nice time, honestly.

I hid in Dekkers bed while Brady helped them get their teeth brushed, and it was really funny to listen to them scour the house to find me to say goodnight. They finally figured it out and we all had a really good snuggle in bed. I like that my kids are all getting big enough that I don’t have to be as careful with them. I can roll out of Dekker’s bed completely overtop of him without hurting him at all, and I can toss Laela completely on top of him without anyone crying. Its fun. I felt good leaving their room tonight. It was uplifting, and no one was crying. It was nice.

I know its completely frozen outside, but I’m thinking I need a hot tub break this evening. Its so cold inside, my nose is cold to the touch. Brrrrr! So the hot tub will only heat us up, and give our room a chance to warm up with the space heater. And then a snack and off to bed. We’ll spend tomorrow with my mom, which is ALWAYS a treat. I love her. There is a lot to look forward to, for sure.

Sleep well.

This is the latest I have put a post up in such a long time!! But as I’ve said in the past, blame it on good company 🙂 we were lucky enough to have Hailey over for the evening! We had a delicious supper, if I do say so myself, of apricot chicken on rice, which even the kids liked! They usually prefer their rice “just white” but Laela actually had two helpings of the rice with chicken. Dekker ate the one serving of rice and chicken, said he really liked it, but requested his plain rice for his next helping. No problem for me, though. I was happy he ate the one serving so happily. 

Once the kids were in bed, the three of us suited up and spent a nice long time in the hot tub. It was sooo relaxing!! We came inside all a little overheated but we sat in the living room in our swim stuff and cooled off for a while. Coffee and dessert was served and we all got into comfy clothes. It was so relaxed. 

And just like that, it was sooo late! But I love when visits go so long. Makes me feel like our guests are comfortable, no matter where we’re living. Thanks for the wonderful visit, Hailey. We love you so very much! 💜 

Now off to bed for a little bit of Netflix and sleep. Please sleep for us, Rowan. That cough is deadly. 

I am INCREDIBLY fortunate to have the support system that I have. I know that everyone does not have the loving and supportive family and friends that I have. My emergency task force has saved my butt time after time in the last couple of weeks. They can diffuse any situation.

Brady leads it. He has arrived him within fifteen minutes of me waking up the last two mornings. Waking up in a total panic both mornings, I texted him, obviously upset, and he didn’t delay in coming over and helping me. No, I’m not just fragile and a mess. Ok, I am that, but I was actually legitimately scared of something, not just emotional. He talks me down and keeps me positive and hauls boxes around and tidies up and puts kids to bed on his own on nights like tonight when I’ve just had enough. He wins. Always.

Second in command is my mom. She comes over and seems to find the ideal balance between visiting and helping me relax a bit, and getting some work done. I feel weird when people come over just to work, while its a lovely gesture and very appreciated. I’d rather have some conversation and some sanity brought into my house. My mom gets that. Today, she came over in the mid-morning. We had a lovely morning and lunch together, and she brought the kids a couple of new little toys to keep them busier. When lunch was done and the kids were playing, she helped me do up all of my dishes, and she flattened and put away all of the boxes that had been unpacked and were just sitting in a huge pile. And that was PERFECT! Because I got some visiting in, I felt a bit more normal, I got my kitchen cleaned up, and I have a lot more space in my living room. What a relief!!

Now I don’t like to lump people, but I’m going to say the rest of the team is my friends. You all know who you are. In varying capacities, you guys all save my butt, time after time. You play with my kids so I can rest. You text me and make sure I’m ok. You bring me coffee. You let me vent and weep. You even go as far as to buy me gifts to help pick up my mood! You guys rock. The team captains are pretty strong, but they need a team behind them or they’re carrying too much weight. Yes, it is true, they are doing a lot of the legwork. But just a simple message being sent my way helps me feel normal, and like I’m allowed to talk and share and maaaybe even whine a little.

I appreciate every single member of my emergency task force. Thank you for taking the time to diffuse bombs and negotiate with me and talk me off of my ledge. Everything you do, I appreciate. I couldn’t be getting through this time without all of you.

<3

I’m not sure, but today felt harder than usual with the kids. I have compassion for them, as I can tell they’re still struggling hard to figure this whole thing out. We’re all struggling to a degree, but the kids are less capable of expressing it, and they know less in the way of coping mechanisms. In a lot of ways, they are taking everything like complete rockstars. But in other ways, we’re grasping at straws. The days are long.

Thankfully, Jerilee came for the evening!!! She fits into our family SO well. When I headed into the kitchen to get some supper together, she sat on the floor and played with the kids. I heard her countless times call the kids back to her, keeping them away from the kitchen in order to give me a break. She would gently shush them when they would get super duper loud, and she entertained them and managed to visit with me at the same time. I love you, Jerilee. Thank you for coming into our home and loving my kids so well, even when we’re all basketcases.

I prepared the not-so-gourmet supper of pizza buns, and I’ve got to say, they were incredibly delicious! They are the old fashioned, more camp style kind, with the mix of pepperoni and cheese and sauce all stirred up and plopped on top, and just broiled enough to melt and not fall apart. They were SO good! The kids went back and forth between not liking them and then suddenly loving them. I think they were mostly hesitant because they were new, but they were yummy! Just a bit messy, which isn’t popular for them. But Jerilee, Brady, and I thought they were super yummy, so win!!

The kids went to bed at their normal time, which is always hard for them when we have company, but they were just not doing well 🙁 It had to be done. And then Brady drove for coffee, came home, and we all watched – you guessed it – The Bachelor!! It was SO relaxing, and comfy in our theatre room! It felt really nice to just wind down and watch some tv with a friend. I hope we can do that much much more often now that we live closer.

Now, to sleep. Even when I’m sleeping decently well these days, my eyes are permanently rimmed red, and I am COVERED in zits. One day I WILL catch up, but likely not for quite some time. And thats ok. We are in one of the busiest times of life right now, and there isn’t a slowing down point in sight! Good thing sooooo much is positive!! 😀

Its nice to be able to post on here about prenatal appointments again. Though its been a different pregnancy for appointments this time around. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but in case you missed it or you forget, my doctor is now teaching student doctors. I have ZERO disrespect for people learning, and my doctor is THE BEST, so it makes great sense why she is teaching others. But its been hard for me. I’ve missed her. We see the same student doctor every time, and she is very lovely. We like her a lot. But its hard to move past our history with Dr. Guselle. She knows us. I don’t have to recap very much with her. But our student doctor is new, and I feel like I have to fill her in more. Either way, I’m very thankful to have health care, and to at least know Dr. Guselle is still following our pregnancy.

Today, however, our student doctor wasn’t scheduled in. She’s on holidays or something like that, I forget what exactly, but we knew this when we booked this appointment before Christmas. However, Brady and I had been wondering if we’d see another student doctor, or just our doctor. And lo and behold, we were SO thrilled when we got to see Dr. Guselle completely on her own today 😀 Again, no slam on students and teaching and all of that important stuff. It was just such a treat to see our favorite doctor again, like it used to be.

She is exactly the same. Still the best, still incredibly loving and incredibly fast paced. She interacts with the kids, and asks lots of questions. I love her.

It was perfect that we got to see her today, because I had a few more things to run past her than usual. She confirmed that I was in fact allowed to be using the hot tub the way I have been, and she okayed the new reflux medication that I started over the last few days. We touched base a bit on my delivery, even though its still quite a ways away, but its always nice to know we’re on the same page with it. She found the babys heartbeat right away, and made a point to show Laela, whose face was practically in the gel, she was so interested! I even put on some weight finally. She NEVER talks to me about weight gain, because as long as I’m healthy and the baby is doing well, its not a priority, but she mentioned that she was happy to see that I’d gained something anyway. How could I not?? It was just Christmas!!! But seriously, I was happy to see it too. I’m measuring exactly where I should be, and everything is looking and sounding right.

Except this darn leg. I’m at such a loss with it. Dr. Mike is definitely able to fix it, but I need more help. I just do. I described what was going on to Dr. Guselle in more detail than I ever have, and she just had this lovely look of compassion about her. She told me that it might not go away completely until after delivery, but that it wasn’t necessary to be quite so miserable for the next 20 weeks. She encouraged me to seek our prenatal physio, and I think that is where I will go next. She said they might have more information about how I can help myself be in the best shape, rather than just relying on treatments. I think she’s right.

On the way out, she offered the kids stickers. Dekker lead her to the front desk where he knows the stickers are, and Laela followed closely behind. She got down on the ground with them and showed them some options. Dekker sniped the first Hot Wheels sticker he saw, and Laela squealed “Lala peenk!” Dr Guselle laughed and confirmed that she had asked for pink, and then gave her a pink on pink Barbie one, who Laela immediately deemed to be Auntie Caity. Everyone was happy when they left. It was SUCH a good appointment.

I’ve always left my appointments with Dr. Guselle feeling lighter than when I arrived. She just has that warmth about her. Seriously, read her reviews. She is the best family medicine has to offer. Its been different the last while, just because we are primarily receiving our care from someone else. But today, I got to feel that lift again, and it was such a relief to know she’s still around and caring for us.

Next week we have our anatomy scan!!!!! That always feels like it takes forever to get here, but with Christmas and the move in our recent past, time has positively wailed by! I can’t believe I’m already so far along!! And I don’t see time slowing down much at all 🙂

These are not the most attractive days for me, haha! I’m more than ok with it, but I am definitely in “comfort” mode. In the mornings, I throw on sweats, a long sleeved shirt, and slippers. Today, I rocked some grey sweats, and a grey long sleeved shirt. I looked at the classy ensemble that I had put together, shrugged it off, and kept moving. It did the trick.

When Brady got home, he headed downstairs to change out of his work clothes and into comfy clothes, and he came up in grey sweats and a grey hoodie. I had a lovely moment where I pictured us old and, you guessed it, grey, and I loved it 🙂 I went to him and gave him a hug, and told him how old and fuddy-duddy we already are. He accepted, and we laughed at our boring clothes. At least we were comfy, and equally monochromatic.

Thanks, hubs, for seeing how classy I looked, and matching me. Can’t have one of us outdoing the other 😉

I’ve become a bit of a slacker with pictures recently, and to be honest, I haven’t taken much time to take particularly good quality pictures either. However, there are some pictures from this week that I figure would have ended up on previous posts had I been on the ball. So here they are, with captions, or without, depending on how I feel at the moment. You may have already heard all of the stories, but then I’ll just remind you. Behold! Our first week living somewhere new!

The end! For today, anyway. Its been a busy, emotional, and truthfully a very overwhelming week. I’m hoping like crazy that things begin to feel more and more normal for all of us. But I am truly looking forward to the upcoming week 🙂 I have a few things planned, not too many but just enough, to help break up the week. And then next week is exciting too! Lots coming up. I promise, these posts will get more entertaining soon!!

We had an errand day today. Not a full, grocery shopping at Superstore, Walmart, and Costco kind of errand day, but a day of getting stuff done in the city. Normally, we leave home mid-morning, do our thing, eat out lunch and supper, and get home long after the kids bedtime. This was SUCH a different errand day! Living closer to the city definitely has its benefits.

Before we even headed to the city for errands, we ran a few around the house here. The room that Brady and I sleep in here hasn’t been stayed in for quite some time, so we thought we’d help it back to life. This morning, Brady got the door back on its hinges and adjusted correctly, and he repaired the closet rod and shelf so it was more sturdy. The closet especially has been a job I’ve been waiting to get done, as all of our clothes have been up in the living room, with their hangers elastic banded together, since we moved in. That makes it kind of difficult NOT to end up wearing the same thing every day. Not that I would know anything about that… So obviously, I was very happy to have my closet up and running. I had every expectation, then, to start working on it on Monday, and get all of our clothes into it, bundle by bundle. But Brady was on a roll, and I didn’t stop him. The clothes are all downstairs, the few pieces of little furniture we brought are also in our room, a shelving unit has been put in to hold our storage, etc. It feels wonderful to have our room arranged, and at least a few spots cleared in our living room to be able to sit. It was a VERY productive morning.

Once the jobs died down a bit, we fed everyone, showered up, and headed out for errands. We didn’t have too terribly much to do, and the main thing we were going out for, we didn’t end up getting (a second baby monitor) but it was still very very successful! We went to a number of different places and instead of one of us running in for just one thing, we all went in to every place. It took a little bit longer, of course, but it was good. We got just about everything we were looking for, and the kids were in good shape pretty much the whole time. My laptop is having a hard time connecting to things this evening, so the pictures aren’t loading up, but to wrap up errand day, we wandered through Home Depot and dreamed about our future house. They were SO CUTE! We went as far as to bring home some paint chips and purchase a few flooring samples, just to have, and ponder. It was fun. I really really loved it!

Now, everyone is home, and 2/3 kids are in bed. Rowan is just getting some milk before we lay him down, and then I think we might go hang out in the hot tub for a little while again. It was SO nice last night. Plus, the one single thing I am missing about our old house is my tub. *moan* Oh how I LOVE that tub!!! I’m missing my soaks these days, but our luxurious hot tub will have to do for the moment 😉 I’m not complaining.

We had a pretty rough night last night, so naturally, I woke up feeling tired and a bit anxious for the day. To top it off, my last stretch of sleep had included some really really unsettling dreams. It was a difficult start to the day. As the morning wore on, it didn’t improve too much, and I was a bit of a wreck. My loving husband, who was also struggling with fatigue at work, took his coffee break back at the house with me. His presence (and his coffee) helped me so very much. He let me cry and mope and just struggle, and he sat patiently and listened and tried to problem solve with me. Brady, my love, you helped me survive my day. Thank you for all you do.

As it turned out, his “coffee break” was pretty late in the day, and he decided with me that it was a good day to nap everyone at once. I used to do this every single day, but Dekker stopped napping around his fourth birthday, so I don’t get that break in the day, and thats fine. But today was a day that I needed a reprieve. So we put all of the kids down. Dekker was crying and crying, and I did everything I could to reassure him that he was not going down because he was in trouble. No attitude problem, no disobeying, nothing like that. But I needed some rest time, and I thought everyone should have some too. He accepted it tearfully, and went down.

That rest felt SO refreshing for me, and I was in considerably better shape when I got the kids up. They felt good, and I felt better, and while Brady was still at work for an hour or so at that point, I knew we were in good shape.

Brady came home with the best idea. Family movie night. We’ve watched very little tv since moving in here, and I like that. Not because I think watching tv is bad (I really don’t, let’s not get into it 😉 ) but because I like that the kids haven’t missed it much. Also, I love the idea of tv watching to be intentional. Not a go-to, but occasionally going downstairs to watch tv together as a family, just to relax. We have a nice media setup here, and it was definitely time to use it. Brady also came home with a KFC chicken bucket, which I have been craving SO MUCH! The kids don’t care for the chicken there, so we made them grilled cheese sandwiches, and Brady and I ate an entire ten piece chicken bucket. Don’t judge. It was delicious.

Post-chicken bucket, we brought the kids downstairs and turned on the movie “Home.” We’ve been wanting to watch it for so long, but we’ve been mildly busy the last little while, and I’m so glad, because today was the PERFECT day for it! The kids were so entertained and interested. Laela danced around to the music, and Dekker basically didn’t move the entire time. Brady and I laughed our faces off, and in turn, Rowan would laugh, as if to fit in with us. It was hilarious and endearing and we had SUCH a good time!

Now the kids are down, and I think Brady and I are going to go take a dip in the hot tub, which we also haven’t used until today, for some reason! It just feels like the right day to get really acquainted here, and to make it be our home for the next while.

I’m so thankful for this roof over our heads, for God who gave it to us, and my husband who holds me when I’m crumbling. Brady and I have a really lovely balance, where it always seems like one of us is strong when the other is on the edge of losing it. We tend to take turns unintentionally in these rolls. Today, he was the rockstar. Thank you, my dear. I couldn’t have done today without you. See you in the hot tub! <3

I felt like a college student today. As I’ve said before, the move seemed to take the wind out of me to a degree, and its just taking a bit to get me back to feeling normal. After a WONDERFUL sleep last night, I went ahead with todays plans of going to spend the day with my mom. The plan was laundry.

Now I know, I have a fully functional setup here, and I am more than capable of doing my own laundry. I have for years and years. But everyday tasks are hard these days, and my mom recognizes that. Instead of making me feel like an invalid, she invited me over for the day, and offered that I could bring my laundry and do it there. I decided to accept the loving offer, as I am in NO position not to accept help!, and I brought it all over this morning. While I technically “did my laundry,” I never folded a load on my own, and I definitely didn’t complete each transfer myself. My mom was there to be that mom that does her daughters laundry, even when her daughter is a capable mother of almost four children. Maybe it was because I am that daughter that she helped. She loves us. It shows. We sure love her too.

We had a completely lovely day together. Laundry rolled on, we watched some tv so the kids could feel restful, Rowan slept ALL afternoon, no lie. We ate well, visited well, and rested well. With our recent move, and our plans to build in the future, we made a ballsy move in December and reserved a local post office box in town there, where we hope to build. I snuck away briefly at one point in the afternoon to officially open it, and get our keys. It was a weirdly exciting and monumental moment for me 🙂 We are getting closer! Or at least our mail is…

We got home at a decent time, fed the kids some leftover mac and cheese, and they’re now in bed. They went down fairly happily, which was a nice surprise. Dekker had been SO sad to leave grandma and grandpa’s house, but he had a little nap in the van and seemed refreshed for the rest of the evening.

Now that everyone is sleeping, I am SO HUNGRY!!! Come here to me, leftover spaghetti… *wiggles eyebrows*