I didn’t get to add a picture of my new hair yesterday, since my laptop blows at updating pictures and I was too lazy to get them on here another way. I am less lazy today, so here it is!

We kept the shaved side nice and short, and brown, because why not. Otherwise, we hacked some bangs into the situation, and gave the actual length some layers and texture. There is SO MUCH HAIR up there!! Yikes! I never really clued in to how thick my hair was until recently. I think I’m truly starting to like and appreciate my hair for the first time. Would I love curly hair? Absolutely. Do I love what I have? Actually ya, I think I do. Win!

This morning, Brady stayed home later than usual, and took Dekker to his eye appointment. Usually, we drive in and meet him there, and we haul everyone in, because otherwise we have to entertain them in the van for a long, long time. But with Brady being home with us this morning, it worked so much better for just the two of them to go in. I would have happily went with him, but Brady is Dekker’s safe place in situations like that. He always sits on Bradys lap at Dr. Rubabs. So they had a little morning date, and I hung out with the others while they were out. Facebook informed me today that it was three years ago that we were told to start patching. We’ve come through a few different stages and obstacles along the way, but I’m pleased to hear that Dekker did pretty well at his appointment today! He cooperated pretty well with the games and exercises, and when he did get upset, the doctors were able to change up their methods and re-engage him. Apparently his script has changed a smidgen for the worse, but nothing big enough to warrant a new pair of glasses, so we keep on going and praying. I’m really happy he was less panicked with the exams, though. Always improving, this boy.

Brady and Dekker came home with Tims for me. We had a short visit so I could hear all about the appointment, and then Brady headed off to work for the afternoon. The kids played a little bit, and ate lunch, and I just finished putting Rowan down to bed. He was SO dozy in my arms. He easily puts himself down to sleep, so I have no real need to stand and rock him or anything, but he was just so still today, so I snuggled him a little bit longer than usual. He lifted his head after a while and his usually smiling face looked so serious and calm. He leaned forward and I kissed his forehead. He gradually moved his face higher, so I kissed his nose, and eventually made it to those huge, puckered lips. In true Rowan style, he burst out laughing and came in for more and more kisses. I was soon covered in slobber and goldfish remnants, but it was totally worth it. We had lots of good kisses, until I finally asked if he was ready for a nap. “Ya!” So down he went, happy as a clam. A sleepy clam.

The day has gone smoothly thus far, and I have high hopes for the afternoon as well. Brady, Solly, and I are all going to Dr. Mike for treatments, and then we’ll hit Costco and head home for the evening. Fall is in the air! I’m not sure why I’m anticipating it so much this year but I really really am 🙂 Feeling good today!

Hubs had the day off! Our family slept in nice and late this morning, and Brady got the kids breakfast while I spread out in the en suite and got ready for the day. I love those opportunities to really play with my make while I watch some YouTube videos, or listen to music, or talk to myself. Its nice to feel a little bit pampered, even if I’m the one doing the pampering.

I passed some kisses around and was out the door around 11:15am to make my leg waxing appointment at 11:45. I got there on time, and my usual waxing girl tag teamed with a trainee. I’ve only had that experience once or twice before, and I’m more than ok with it. The three of us had fun together! But its always shocking to have both legs being waxed at once, haha! Its harder to anticipate what’s coming, but its efficient. I left my appointment feeling all fresh and considerably more comfortable in my shorts.

My next appointment wasn’t until 2:00, so I ducked over to Costco and bought Solly a pair of jammies, as well as some dry shampoo. I headed back to my hair place about an hour early, and I wandered the mall a little bit. I resisted my shopping urges, even though the people in the London Drugs cosmetics department remembered me and showed me around the new products they knew I would like. They were right. But I was a grown up. I bought a Starbucks and thats it!

I was completely thrilled with how my new hair turned out! We cut bangs into it and layered it and just gave it something new while still growing it out. It was starting to feel boring, and this is just SUCH an improvement! I feel very feminine, and like my hair is more interesting than before. A big win. My hair girl is a super champ. Seriously, if anyone needs a hair girl, I have one for you!

I came home right as Solly pooped all over himself, so I pulled out his new jammies and put them on him, and they are PERFECT. I may go back tomorrow and buy more jammies in more sizes because they are super duper nice. We spent the evening all together, and shortly before the kids went to bed, Jerilee arrived for an evening of Bachelor in Paradise. We had waffles, breakfast sausage, peaches, and grapes for supper, which was ridiculously yummy, if I can be so bold. While we watched, Jerilee did some laminating for school, I folded laundry, and Brady bailed to change the oil in the vans. So it was a more productive evening of trashy tv than usual, but I think thats great.

It was a really really nice evening, but its time to wrap up our great day and head to bed. I’m sleepy, and tomorrow is going to be a bit of a broken up day, with some appointments in the morning and then in the later afternoon. We’ll come home in between, though, and Brady will work in the middle as well. It should be good, though! This has been such a fun week so far, filled with so many good events. I’m hoping tomorrow will just add to the list.

But first, sleep.

Conversation…

Kim and I spent lunch and the afternoon together, sipping lattes and talking life while our kids played, ate, watched a bit of tv, and celebrated Dekker’s birthday. They brought cupcakes and a present. The last couple of hours of our play date were SUPER calm, while Rowan, Solly, Ellijah, and Maddox all napped! Dekker and Em watched tv and Laela played in the basement. Brady wrapped up the afternoon beautifully by bringing us Starbucks. The day couldn’t have been nicer, really. Thanks, Kim, for making today a special one for Dekker, and for being relaxed around my family. You guys fit in so well. Love you all!

Rejection…

Remember a while back I was saying the blog needs a facelift? That hasn’t changed, it really does need one. While the look hasn’t changed, I’ve been trying to be a bit more intentional with my writing. I’ve been making an effort to be a bit more structured, and to have more of a specific point beyond just “this is what I did today.” I definitely still have those posts, but I’m just trying to do better. What you maybe don’t know is why I starting thinking I needed to try harder. A while back, on Instagram, I saw a magazine calling for a mommy blogger to feature. I psyched myself up, and wrote them an email, where I talked a little bit about myself, and linked them to one of the posts I’m the most proud of. Today, I got my first rejection email. And truly, I can honestly say, I hope it is the first rejection email of many. Because promoting myself, while unfamiliar and vulnerable, felt pretty great! It is what motivated me to try harder in this. Whether this blog ever becomes anything bigger than what it is (which is small) it never hurts to strive for improvement, and to do the best you possibly can. So WOOT for some good, down home rejection! Thank you, Instagram, for kicking my butt!

Organization…

I have been putting off a HUGE job since we moved here! And this evening, I FINALLY got started! Between moving out of our first home, and getting into this one, the kids sized up. TWICE. ALL OF THEM! And with us moving four times in six months, with most tubs in storage, and no time or feeling of being settled, the outgrown sizes went into tubs, all together, haphazardly. I HAVE to sort through those stupid tubs, because Solly is sizing up and I need the next tub! Yet that tub doesn’t have much in it, because it was all mixed into the other tubs! Gah!!! So as I sit in bed writing this, I am staring at six large tubs at the foot of the bed. Wait. Seven. My bad. Can’t count. I have gone through probably half of them, and things are going surprisingly smoothly! Of course there are a few stragglers that belong in tubs that are hiding somewhere downstairs in the box mountains we’ve got going on, but I knew I just had to get started and it would go quick. And I was right! I won’t finish tonight, but since our room was finally in order, and now I’ve filled it with tubs once again, I’m pretty eager to get them out of here. But not tonight.

And not tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be SUCH a fun day! Eek! Getting my haaaaair done! And then Bachelor in Paradise. Because one night a week, I get to be a trashy human being. Don’t judge.

As great as tomorrow will be, though, today was a huge win 🙂 I hope you all had great days too!!!

My mom came over mid-morning and we had SUCH a nice visit! Don’t get me wrong. I love when my entire family is together, with all of the siblings and nieces and nephews. Its a fun crowd, and I love them all to the ends of the earth! But I also love the one on one I get with my mom on special days like today.

I sat in the recliner and rocked Solly while she sat on the couch and chatted with me, while playing with and reading to my kids simultaneously. We swapped once in a while, and she’d hold Solly while I changed a diaper or satisfied a request. It was relaxed and super enjoyable.

We had egg salad, chips, and apples for lunch, and Solly slept on me for a bit. It was super nice. We had lots and lots of girlfriend chats, about good and bad, and it felt so safe and warm. I can talk to her about hard things I’m going through, and she can understand where I’m coming from and support me. I feel somewhat guilty, because it sometimes feels super one sided, but I know there is a boundary, and while I feel like my mom is one of my very best friends, and I love how our relationship has evolved over my adult years, she is still a mama caring for her baby. I appreciate it very much, being one of her babies. I hope we can always have this beautiful balance.

Eventually, my mom had to go home to her own house (I wish we could keep her) and the kids and I stuck around and awaited Brady’s arrival. He’s now home, and we’re making perogies and smokies for supper! I’m SO hungry! This will be our first evening together that is back to our normal routine, where kids are in bed at 7:00, and we have a few hours together. I’m very much looking forward to it. Maybe we’ll crack out a movie and make a date out of it! Any Netflix suggestions appreciated!

Was anyone wondering?? I realized the other day that its been longer than I thought since we started the process, and I haven’t updated.

Her first day on the potty was great! She wore underwear, loved it, and was very aware when she was having an accident. We could see the wheels turning, and she would go back and forth to the bathroom until it was officially time and she would pee, whether in the toilet or in her panties. She was trying to learn how to make it happen at the right time, and how to judge. Its all part of it.

The next two days, she just had accidents. No potty success. But that was fine, we rolled with it, because the whole thing was happening based on her wanting to start. She had instigated the whole thing. Her interest was great, but her timing could have been better. We are some of the busiest we’ve ever been, so her days where we should have diligently pumping her full of fluids and ferrying her to and from the bathroom a hundred times a day were filled with outings and phone calls and just not enough attention. We’ve had family visiting over the last little while, and we opted to bring her to the gatherings in pull ups rather than in underwear, since our success had been very limited. No pees on the potty for likely a week. Nothing doing.

This morning, I got her out of her bed, her pull up just hanging off of her body. I sat down in front of her, and asked her “Panties, nighttime underwear (pull up), or diaper?) She kind of just regarded her options and didn’t answer. I said to her “Should we do diapers again? Just for a little while?” I didn’t want her to feel discouraged, and while I KNOW she can do it, I think there is just too much crazy right now. I’m not doing a good job at helping her succeed. So I asked. And she said “Ummm, ya.” I had offered her this option not long ago and she was devastated at the idea of wearing diapers again. But I think we both know we need to give it a rest and try again in a bit.

So. New plan! The little miss can rock diapers again, and we’ll start incorporating some potty time, mostly as a routine. First thing in the morning, before bed, etc. We will give it another go once we’re a good chunk of the way into Dekker’s school year. Maybe October. Unless she really wants to go again sooner! But I know we have stuff coming up in September, and not as many free days. Its all good stuff, but distracting, haha! We’ll block some time off in October and see what we can come up with. But I’m not worried if she’s not. I know she’ll train sooner than later, but I feel like its actually a very grown up move on both of our parts to step back, take a deep breath, and wait.

I welcome everyones full support and shut down any negative comments, haha! Because I am more than comfortable with this decision 🙂 Me and Laela, we’ve got this.

My dear sweet Dekker Thomas turned FIVE today! I remember the day Dekker was born very fondly, and so vividly, in fact, that it feels like it was much much more recent than five whole years ago.

This morning, we went to Dekkers room, threw the lights on, and sang Happy Birthday to Dekker. He was all glowy and happy and excited, while Rowan was flat on his face across their bedroom, out cold. No amount of singing or birthday excitement could wake him, so we hauled Dekker out and left Rowan in slumber. Laela and Solly were up too, and we all sat in the living room while Dekker opened his gifts.

We took a bit of time to open up his lego and dump it out from its little bags, and he even built a car.

We asked what he’d like for his birthday breakfast, and he requested pancakes. So pancakes it was! However, the little punk only ate one measly pancake, as he was far too interested in getting back to his lego. Can’t blame the kid.

We all got ready for the day and drove to a nearby town for a DQ ice cream cake, and then headed to my parents house. We made it in time for lunch, where we had macaroni and chicken fingers. The cake came out afterwards, and we celebrated Caity and Dekker’s birthdays, since my sister’s was two days ago.

Since we had all jumped the gun and gave Caitlin her presents earlier, Dekker opened his gifts after lunch. He picked a couple to play with, and the afternoon went on to be filled with games, Mario Kart, and going for walks. I wish I had a picture of Deks walking hand in hand with Auntie Grace!! It was really sweet. While we walked, Brady lounged with Solly.

For those wondering, today was worse than yesterday, but better than the day before. So we’ll take it. He’s still incredibly unsettled and a bit fussy, but he napped a bit better today, and threw up less. Maybe the little bits of medication are starting to kick in! Fingers crossed!

We all had a yummy light supper before heading home. Now the kids are bathed and in bed, and I’m about to head back to my parents to hang out with everyone for just a little bit longer. While we love having this house, and we feel SO at home even just living in town, we sure miss the later evenings with everyone once the kids go to bed. So it’ll be nice for me to head back, and I believe Stef is coming out here to play vids with Brady for a bit, which is really nice.

All in all, it was a lovely day with family today. It was SO good to celebrate my sister, and my very first baby.

Dekker, you are a spectacular man. I can’t wait to see how this next year goes for you. I’m looking forward to your confidence growing and you really finding yourself. I’m excited to see you learn and grow in school, and to meet all of your new friends. You are such an incredible part of our family. I love you, Dekker boy, through thick and thin.

** Before I write about the day, thank you to those who showed concern and love to our precious Solly boy yesterday. We were SO discouraged and distraught and at a loss. Solly didn’t drink anymore after his big barf, but somehow, he slept through until 6am!! Today has been a far better day, so keep the prayers coming! We need more days like today.

We hosted a waffle brunch at our house today, and while our house wasn’t all tidy and “guest ready,” it was definitely family ready 🙂 Everyone arrived around noon, and we broke out our new waffle iron. We have one from Walmart that works fine, but it takes a really long time, and we SO desire to have people over for weekend brunches a lot in the future, so we bought a new one. A double waffle maker! It is enormous and commercial and hilarious but MAN does it pump out good waffles! I am super happy with the purchase, and thanks to it, we could make three waffles at a time. Everyone was seated with (or had already consumed) a waffle within a half hour. We had just a few basic toppings and my mom brought a big bowl of sliced up peaches. It was a super nice time. We love being local and being able to finally host a little bit at our place. It is really homey.

With life being as busy as its been recently, Brady and I haven’t managed to get to the city to buy Dekker’s birthday present. I mentioned to my sisters and my mom that I needed to duck in to pick up a couple of things today, and we decided to all go together. So once lunch was over and everyone was heading back to my parents, Brady and I got the kids dressed (they were still in their jammies, lol) and I got ready for our girls date.

The four of us piled into my moms car and started at Starbucks. We moved on to Lululemon, where I picked up a pair of pants that I was having hemmed, and I accidentally bought a pair of shorts as well. Whoops! We ducked into Sephora next, since all three of them were born in August, and if you have a Sephora account, you get a free birthday gift. I got mine on our Edmonton trip a few weeks ago, but these ladies were all behind. We hit Walmart last to grab birthday gifts for Dekker, and a handful of other things for a couple of us.

We headed home after that, and my dad immediately ducked out to go pick up some pizza for supper. We feasted on Pizza Hut for supper, and then we took our kidlets home. Yesterday had been fun, but the kids were SHOT being up so late. Tonight, while still being past their bedtime, it was earlier and more doable.

Now, a soak and a snack await me. Tomorrow is our last day with Caity and Stef here, and we’re celebrating Caity and Dekker’s birthdays! Her birthday was on Friday, and Dekker’s is tomorrow. How insane is it that Deks is five, all of a sudden??? That totally snuck up on me! It should be a lovely day 🙂 High hopes!

Sleep deep, all!

We spent most of the day putting together and tidying up for my dad’s 60th birthday party. It was nicely under control and organized, in my opinion. Pies were being baked, the backyard was cleaned up with tables and chairs set out, lemonade was being made, the list goes on. In case I forget to say it, it was a really nice party 🙂 We had to leave early (the kids were completely shot) but the visiting and food was great, and I think he really enjoyed it.

I ducked out in the afternoon for a little while to take Solly into the doctor. I had booked an appointment with Dr. Guselle at 3:45, and I have been anticipating getting to talk to her about Rowan’s history and my suspicions with Solly. I got into the appointment pretty quickly, and it wasn’t long before the student doctor came in. We almost always see a student first, since thats the way this clinic works. So I chatted with her about Solly and I’ll be the first one to say I was (and still am) incredibly frustrated with how it all went.

As I predicted, her responses to my concerns were along the lines of “Oh but he’s so cute and happy, and he’s definitely growing. You’re fine, aren’t you, little guy?” I was SO angry. I told her the things that happened with Rowan, and the similarities that I’m seeing in Solly. She didn’t seem to find any merit in what I was saying. Finally I said “I agree, he’s drinking and gaining and growing, but doesn’t the quality of life matter?” And she shrugged me off. “Well…..” That was all I got before she went back to her point. Finally she said “I mean if you just want him on medicine, I can give you a prescription to test…” On one hand, I was happy to be able to have a script for a reflux medication, but that comment just rubbed me the wrong way. Its not as though I came to the appointment just looking to put my baby on medication, just for kicks. I was SO angry.

And best of all, then she printed off the script and sent me on my way. I did not see my doctor. Not even for a second.

I loaded Solly up, took him to the van, and had a good solid cry. Then I cried for most of the drive home. I stopped at the pharmacy to fill the script, and then cried once again on the way to my parents house. I gathered myself up and did fine for the rest of the evening. Being with the whole group was conveniently distracting, but as I now sit in bed while Brady tries to feed our screaming, red, starving baby, I’m having trouble keeping myself level. Its as though the anger that I worked so hard to roll off has somehow found a way to roll back on.

And as I finished that last sentence, this happened.

Yup. Solly barfed while Brady was feeding him beside me. Projectile like I have never seen it. We sat him up right away and I held him while he wretched and arched and vomited over and over again. I am confident he lost basically every bit of milk we got into him.

So if anyone who prays would like to throw one or two our way, we would greatly appreciate it. Solly is upset, and his parents are feeling pretty discouraged. Something has got to give, and its can’t be Solly’s comfort or quality of life. God be with us.

After another pretty decent night (thank you, Solly!) Brady went to work and I took the kids over to my parents. Not only are Simon and his family still living there, but my sister and her husband are out for a visit! So the place was bustling, both with people and excitement about the newcomers.

We ate and played and ate and played and had a really nice day. Except for one small, loud problem.

Today was a really really hard day for Solly. He went back and forth between crying and sleeping most of the day. He would hardly drink any milk. He would gag and scream and choke and scream and really impress on us his feelings about the day. I’m not sure if he was just out of his element, or if my suspicions are correct and he has reflux. Either way, but the late afternoon, I was struggling with the whole thing. I made a call to Dr. Guselle’s office and was given an appointment for tomorrow. What a pleasant surprise! I thought for sure they would give me a date two weeks down the road, and I would rather just leave a message for her to call me. But nope. It would appear that the receptionist agrees with me that babies should eat. YES! So while I’m really looking forward to seeing my siblings more in the coming days, I’m really anticipating Solly’s appointment tomorrow afternoon!

I am very blessed to have loving family around who is happy to walk laps with Solly while he cries seemingly endlessly. Sometimes its hard to admit the need for help, but we definitely all do. Or, I do, anyway. I should just speak for me. It was a good day to need help, because there were many willing hands nearby.

Can’t wait to see you guys all tomorrow!!

One thing I neglected to mention yesterday is that I have a little bit of concern surrounding Solly. Nothing big and scary, but I’m suspicious that he has reflux like Rowan did. While this is obviously a fairly small problem to many people, it was really really difficult for us. If you remember, Ro was perpetually hungry, but would scream when we would offer him a bottle. He hated his bottle. Solly still takes his bottle fine, but he is doing a lot of the things that Rowan did leading up to us discovering that he had reflux. He eats big feedings in the night but really doesn’t care for eating in the day. An ounce or two here or there is enough. If I get four into him, I’m a serious champion. Sometimes he waits far too long between feedings, and I know he is SO hungry, but he is too upset and wailing and for the life of me, I cannot get him to drink. So he falls asleep and wakes up even angrier than the last time. Its been really hard for the last little while.

I mentioned it at his doctors appointment and got pretty much exactly the answer I expected. “Well, look at him. He’s huge. So he’s clearly thriving. I wouldn’t worry about it.” People said that about Rowan too. I agree, priority one is baby’s growth, so I’m thrilled that everyone is growing, but I also believe that quality of life counts for something, and if any of my kids are consistently uncomfortable or in any kind of pain, I want to try to remedy it.

I was going to call the doctors office and make an appointment with (or at least least a message for) Dr. Guselle, but I decided to call on Dr. Mike first. Solly was definitely due for an adjustment, and maybe it would help. There is SO much merit to baby chiro, I kind of swear by it, so even if it didn’t clear up our issue, I still think it is worth it to bring the babies once in a while.

We got an appointment for just after 4pm, and met Brady there. He hung out with the big kids while I took Solly in on my own. He sat in his bucket and cooed at me while we waited for Dr. Mike. When he did arrive, we had a short visit and discussed what was going on with Solly, and then he got to work.

I’ll be honest and say that was a LONG treatment. He is so sweet to my kids, and I loved seeing him unconsciously kiss Solly’s head during his adjustment. A number of times, he’d pass Solly to me to prop against myself, check his little back, and take him back for another little tweak. Solly didn’t fuss or get upset. It was as though he just understood how badly he needed the treatment.

There is obviously no guarantee that this adjustment will fix his hypothetical reflux, nor the one we’ll book next week to follow up, but Dr. Mike did say that he wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t settling nicely these days. He said there was one spot in Solly’s upper back that just had no movement whatsoever. Now, he’s all loosened up and wiggly, and we’ll just see how the days go. Here’s hoping there is some improvement!

He slept an eight hour stretch last night, and woke up with the thunder than physically shook our roof. Let’s vote for another eight hour stretch, shall we?