After Solly let me sleep in almost until 9:00, I rushed to get the kids up, fed, and out the door. We were at Kims by late morning, and we spent the next several hours playing, eating, watching some tv, and just being together. We haven’t had a playdate since before Solly was born, so it was a long time coming! Thankfully, it went very smoothly. Rowan slept the afternoon away, and Solly spent most of that time snuggling/napping as well. It was really nice. I bought the kids in sweats, so everyone was comfy and relaxed and it was exactly the right kind of playdate. We left shortly before 4:00, and I got ready for the evening.

Kim and I have officially been friends for one year today 🙂 For those who don’t know, we met through a Facebook buy and sell page. Kim was selling some maternity clothes, and I was planning on getting pregnant, haha! So we got in touch, I came for pickup, and we were texting later that day already. It was a very natural progression, and we got very close very fast. One year ago today!

I picked her up just before 6:00, and we went to the local restaurant for supper. We shared onion rings, and then I had pasta while she rocked perogies. We each got an enormous dessert to boot, and of course we both left with TWO to go boxes. Whoops, hahaha!

It was a really lovely day spent with a really good friend <3 Not just anyone would appreciate a heart shaped onion ring as much as I do!

Love you, Kim!! Thanks for clothing my pregnant self, and hanging out with me during one of the most whining-filled years of my life. I’m so lucky to have you!!!

Eek! Its SO late for me to be posting! I fully blame the Bachelorette for my late start. Dang you, Jojo, and your sketchy group of men!

I truly had a wonderful day. I saw my friend, Nicole, and her little boy for lunch and through part of the afternoon. It was a pretty long drive to get to us, so I was very thankful for the extra effort 🙂 We haven’t sat down for a visit since freshly after Christmas, so this was a very welcome visit. Between the two of us, we had five kids to juggle, and they actually did really really well! Rowan napped after lunch, and Solly was in and out the entire visit, so it was easy enough to actually chat while the kids played, rather than us standing on our heads trying to make the day run smoothly. We were a good group.

Once they headed on to their next plan, we watched a bit of tv and had some quiet time. Brady was home in time for yet another friend from church to drop off a supper for us! We have been SO blessed by our friends and family, with meals and baking and just so many unnecessary but appreciated gifts of love. We received our chicken, rice, caesar salad, and ice cream sandwiches, and sat down immediately. Our kids are usually pretty hesitant when new food walks in the door, but they ate the meal very happily, which meant Brady and I could, too!

Jerilee arrived for Bachelorette night right around the kids bedtime with slurpees for us. We made some nachos and turned on the show.We were behind, so we spent the next three-ish hours watching. We are STILL behind, lol! But we booked a day in next week to catch all the way up 🙂 I love Bachelorette nights.

Now, its late, and I’m tired. Whew! Time to take my ridiculously rigid scheduled pain meds and hit the hay! Sleep well, all.

I always get such a kick out of writing out my kids birth stories, and I love sharing them with you guys 🙂 I’m not sure what I’ve done in all of the other ones, but this time around, I felt like I had to pick and choose details a bit more than I think I’ve done in the past. I could be wrong, but I wasn’t sure how much to add in there! Also, we stayed at the hospital for such a short time, I felt like I should write about the whole hospital stay, but that goes beyond the birth story.

Because I felt less certain about what to write this time around, I left out a detail or two that I figured I’d write about today 🙂 Hopefully this isn’t controversial, but you can just read it as our own situation, not what we think everyone in the world should do. Not everything that is “best” is best for everyone.

Probably the one thing that made me feel the teensiest bit awkward during my labour and delivery was that my nurse was clearly very disappointed that I had decided not to breastfeed. Now I know, I know, “breast is best.” Sure. I’m on board with that. Honestly, I’m all for breastfeeding! Totally pro-breastfeeding! But I don’t do it, because its just not for me. I won’t get into all of the reasons why, but formula feeding is very much the right choice for us. But my nurse didn’t like it, and it was quite apparent. I’m aware that my choice isn’t a popular one, but since I’ve bottle fed all of my babies, hospital personnel usually don’t get on me about it.  She wasn’t outwardly pushy, but some off handed comments she made were unnecessary. It felt like a tiny part of my experience was tarnished by this.

When Solly was delivered, he was laid on top of me and we had a lovely first cuddle. My nurse commented that, even though I had chosen not to breastfeed, that didn’t mean the baby didn’t NEED skin to skin, so she was very persistent that we do this. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE skin time with my baby! And we were having it! But since I wasn’t nursing, I was wearing my bra, and she practically pulled it off of me to get him on more of my skin. Again, I was happy to have him on my chest, it just felt strange that it was pushed SO hard. When my doctor asked to take him and weigh him, I passed him over, and my nurse got very flustered and corrected Dr. Guselle, saying the baby should not be removed off of his mother for the first hour or two. I assured the room that I was totally fine with what was being done, but felt a bit uncomfortable. It seemed like she thought she had to advocate for this baby above me.

Formula feeding in the hospital is taboo. There are charts and papers and everyone tries to dictate how much baby eats. “Baby’s stomach is the size of an acorn, we don’t want to stretch that!” This is true, I have no doubt. But when my nurse handed me a bottle with 10 mls in it and said “He won’t need the whole thing” I was kind of amazed. He had that DOWN in less than 15 seconds, no word of a lie, and he was snorting away for more. “See, he’s rooting. He wants to nurse,” she says. But she wouldn’t give us more milk in his bottle.

While still in delivery, it was determined that his respiratory rates were high. Nothing big or scary, but I was told he’d be assessed by someone when we got to postpartum. I don’t remember her name, or what her official title was, but I LOVED her. When she came into our room, we discussed how his delivery had gone, how massive he was, and what seemed to be the problem. She checked him all over so very lovingly, saying things like “Ok, son, don’t pee on your nurse!” She was very warm, and funny, and she knew her stuff. When she was done her assessment, she said she noticed two things. One was that his temperature was normal but his cheeks felt cool. She also noticed that he appeared very hungry still. Based on these things, I took him out from under my hospital gown and blanket, dressed him in some jammies, and swaddled him up good and tight. Then I fed him *gasp* 15 mls. And THEN, his breathing slowed, and he could finally relax. The nurse who had suggested these moves was SO cautious to recommend them, and kept making the joke “Don’t tell anyone I said that!” It made me sad, but it was nice to know that someone even secretly agreed with me about what my son needed.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to complain. I know my nurse is an amazing lady, with GREAT birth stories, and a similar sense of humor to me 🙂 She and I just had different ideas of what “ideal” looked like, and I think we missed the boat on clearing that up before it got awkward. All I’m hoping to express here is that you moms need to go with your gut. Whether something is recommended, required, frowned upon, taboo, controversial, good, bad, or ugly, (forgive me in advance for saying this) you do you, boo! Not everyone has to like it.

Lastly lastly, I LOVE the hospital staff at Royal University Hospital! No ill will, bad blood, hard feelings, etc. We are always SO well cared for, and we are so blessed to have the resources that we have!! I am very thankful for the birthing team we had 🙂

Its taken too long to get here, but I’m finally going to share Solly’s birth story with those who want to hear it! Its just been a super busy time of life, obviously, and I like to take lots of time to write out the kids birth stories, so I don’t miss anything. I don’t want to cut corners on important posts like these. So I’m starting this morning, and we’ll see when it actually goes up, haha! My kids are beautifully chill this morning, so it seems like an appropriate time to start writing.

Here is what I know. In my past two pregnancies, I have not felt my labours. I know that all labours and deliveries are different. I know that plans change unexpectedly.

I know that we don’t always get to know why plans change, but they change, regardless of our level of readiness.

And I know myself.

I don’t feel labour. My first sign of pain either comes when my water is broken (its never broken on its own) or when the baby is ready to be delivered. Through Laela’s birth, I saw the very scary side of this, where we barely made it to the hospital in time, where I struggled with PTSD afterwards, where I thought my daughter and I were going to die together. Through Rowan’s birth, I learned how much I could genuinely enjoy my labour and delivery. I learned that no one has the same “ideal” in childbirth, and that my ideal looked a lot more controlled than lots of people’s. I learned not to feel shame about that.

Because of these things that I know, my doctor and I decided early on in this pregnancy to go with the same plan as Rowan’s L&D, and to go forward with induction at 39 weeks. June 1st, 2016.

As the pregnancy wore on, I struggled hard with a lot of things, and it became my most painful, difficult pregnancy yet. I would describe my body pain as incredible, which is defined simply as “impossible to believe.” It was truly incredible; hugely challenging. I spoke to my doctor and our student doctor about how I was feeling. As I said on here a handful of times, I felt like I was further along than my dates claimed. My body was exhibiting all of the signs it normally does when I’m right at the end of my pregnancy, but a full month early. Probably even earlier. My body felt FAR more pregnant than my dates claimed it was. I was worried, if I’m being honest. It is (was) an incredibly little known fact, but I lost a baby the cycle before we conceived this pregnancy. With that being the case, my cycle wasn’t normal, and I had no idea when I ovulated, when we conceived, etc. But even with that loss factored in, I could only be one week further along at the very most. So I spent the last month or so of my pregnancy in incredible pain and lets say moderate worry.

At my 38 week appointment, my doctors, Brady, and I discussed official plans, and I found out my doctor would be in the hospital, in labour and delivery, all day on May 31st. I had said through my entire pregnancy that I was excited to have a June baby, but Dr. Guselle being present for my delivery was a higher priority than which month the baby’s birthday would be in. Of course, there is always the risk of being bumped to another day. I started to pray very specifically that we would be induced that day, Tuesday, May 31st. That was my great desire. I was starting to lose grip with being in so much pain, I knew our move was coming up, and I could not possibly wait another day to meet our baby!!

At 8:30am on May 31st, I cried after receiving our call from the hospital. I expected that we would be bumped, but we were not. We were going in that morning, 10:00am, for our induction. We made our calls to mom and Willa, who headed over right away to spend the day with Dekker, Laela, and Rowan, and we grabbed the remainder of our stuff to load into our hospital bag. Once everyone arrived, we gave hugs and hit the road!

(Only 700 words in and we’re finally at the hospital, lol!)

We checked in at the nurses station and sat to wait our turn. It was SUCH a full room this time around, and we watched couple after couple get called. But we are always SO psyched up on our induction day, and lots of the women waiting seemed so tired and uncomfortable and READY. So it was good that they went in before us. However, when the nurse did come and call my name, I basically chased her down. We were ready too.

With Rowan’s labour, we were taken to one room, and that is where we were assessed, laboured, delivered, etc. However, because I hadn’t had any cervical exams in my prenatal appointments, I had to be checked and assessed in one place so they could determine what method of induction to us, and then moved to another room where I’d labour and deliver. I learned later that different forms of induction are done in different places, so it needed to be done this way to know where to put me. In this exam, I learned that I was 4cms dilated and suuuper stretchy, and almost all the way effaced. Baby hadn’t come down yet at all, though. His head was bouncy. On the monitors, it showed that I was contracting every four minutes. However, that didn’t last. I don’t know how long that was going on. I had no idea I was contracting at all. No lie. I just don’t feel it. Because my cervix was dilating and stretchy, the one method of induction was moot, as its job is basically to soften the cervix. So that was how I ended up on an iv drip. It was 12:55pm.

Most painful iv in the world, let me tell you. Two weeks later, its still deep yellow and hurts to the touch. I look less like an intravenous drug user though, so we’ll call it progress.

My doctor ducked in to make contact with me, and we discussed our plan for the labour. Our “birth plan,” I guess. There wasn’t much. She made a joke that she had something up at 5:30, and that the student doctor who I’ve been seeing through my whole pregnancy was on another floor until 5:00. I told her I could work within that window, lol! Mainly, though, I specified that I wanted an epidural. I reminisced about asking for one when I was labouring with Dekker, and from me asking to actually receiving one was three hours. With my labours being quicker and quicker, and that possibility of not feeling any pain until I’m fully dilated and ready to deliver, I was interested in how long it could take to get one. Thankfully, it wasn’t a super busy day at the hospital, and I was assured that it would be quick. They said they’d tell the anesthetist that I had requested an epidural, and as soon as my induction had kicked in and I was contracting consistently again, he should come.

But he came early.

I was very thankful that my nurse had given me a gentle heads up about my anesthetist before we actually met, because he was quite a character, and would have caught me off guard, for sure. He burst in the door and demanded “Where’s your nurse?” I stammered through an “uuuuuhhh” before I heard her say “I’m right behind you!” (I found out later that she had been trying to beat him to the room but he had won the footrace, basically. With that, she hadn’t had a chance to speak with him, and he did not know I wasn’t in labour. He just knew I was next on the list, and he had a meeting to get to. Yikes!) So he breezed in and commanded the room. He had a long series of off-color jokes that we all politely laughed at, and let him feel very alpha-male-esque. He made sure of that by instructing Brady to take his hands out of his pockets at least five times. Brady’s witnessed a couple epidurals now, and he knows to stay to the side and wait to be called on. Leave my husband alone, his hands are fine in his pockets. When he was called on to help, he stood in front of me and I was supposed to squeeze his fingers when I felt a contraction coming on. I wasn’t having any contractions, though, so I grasped his fingers to pacify the anesthetist, and partially to hang onto someone until this whirlwind gave way! The initial freezing poke is the worst part of the epidural. A good solid bee sting. Once that was done, the anesthetist commented to me “Now did that hurt more than your contractions?” Foolishly, I answered with the truth, and said it had. His reply was something along the lines of “If thats true, I probably shouldn’t be putting this on.” I glanced up and saw my nurse kind of chuckle to herself. Clearly he had missed something. But this thing was happening! The procedure itself went off without a hitch, and I have to give credit where credit is due. He was great at his job! Bedside manor, not so much, but his know-how was above and beyond. He then made a bunch of dumb remarks about how any movement can pull the epidural out (they wouldn’t) and walked out the door making a rude quip about me, curse words and all. I definitely understood why I was forewarned about him. The moment he left, everyone in the room breathed out for the first time in ten minutes. Thankfully, though, we were all feeling the same, and could just roll it off.

Once all of that silliness was over, we waited for the fun to begin. And it did!! My friend from high school, Danielle, works on labour and delivery now, and she dropped by with some tea from Tims for me, which was sooo sweet!! She also came to check on me once or twice when my nurse was on a break. It was so nice to see a familiar face. I was also super happy that my friend Shauna ducked in to see us! She was my nurse when I was in L&D with Rowan, and had been keeping an eye out for my name to come up. Unfortunately, she was hanging out with the ladies who were being induced with a different method that day, so she didn’t get to be my nurse. Maybe with the next one 😉 Still SO nice to see friends while we waited for our baby to make his appearance. Thank you, friends, for making Brady and I feel so special and celebrated!

Being on oxytocin induction, baby and I were on monitors the entire time, and were checked on every fifteen minutes. Everything was pretty uneventful. Brady and I watched “The Good Wife” and waited impatiently for babe to come. At 4:30, I had officially stalled out dilating, just hanging around at 6 cms. My doctor also said that the babys head was still bouncing quite a bit. Normally, it doesn’t feel as safe to break water when the head is still floating around, but I reminded my doctor that Dekker also never came down down, and I had to push him out from way the heck up there. She said if I was comfortable with it, she’d be willing to break my water. I consented, but made the special request that, even though I wasn’t in any pain, could I have a minute or two to bump my epidural up a bit. Usually, after my water breaks, everything moves quick and gets super intense, and thats when I get scared. My doctor totally understood and they gave me the button to push every ten minutes, if I wanted.

A few minutes later, she broke my water. No pain, and no meconium! Yay! As usual though, WAY more fluid than she was bargaining for. Her eyes grew as it appeared that my water broke three times It went from “There we go!” to “Oh, ok, well there’s more.” to her eyes bugging out and a quiet “uuuuummm, ok, wow…” I know, lots of info. But its not gross, don’t worry.

This time around, things didn’t rush like crazy after my water broke. I kept on that epidural button though, quite determined not to be in excruciating pain, if I could at all help it. It was about an hour later that I thought to myself “Is that pressure? Thats what the pressure everyone is always talking about feels like? Huh.” I’ve never felt that impending doom pressure that people talk about, and that nurses are always telling you to inform them about. I’ve never felt it. Until this baby! It wasn’t a big pressure, but I’d been amping my epidural, so I couldn’t really know for sure. I pressed the nurses button, and within a minute, my doctor and also my student doctor, Jasmin, came into the room. They said they were just discussing me when I rang. Jasmin realized in that moment that they had left my info, and she headed back for it. I told Dr. Guselle I was suspicious that I was feeling pressure, and she lifted the sheet to check on me. Her comment was “Oh, so your baby has hair!” I was super surprised that apparently he was quite so visible already, and I laughed. To which she responded with “Oh boy, let’s get Jasmin back in here quick, that baby is ready!”

I had given my permission to have a few additional students in to witness our delivery, so the small group assembled and we waited for a contraction. I was feeling pretty good, and was a bit unsure about when my contractions actually were coming and going. I would have to feel my stomach to see if it was hardening. When I was all in position, and had a contraction, I gave my first push. And Jasmin burst out laughing. Dr. Guselle did as well, and said “Yes, sometimes they do go this perfectly!”

I pushed for three minutes. It was perfect. I could feel exactly what I was doing, and where and how to push, but I wasn’t in pain. I felt capable and excited! I felt encouraged by my group. I felt strong. And to be honest, I felt a little bit proud that this small group of women who had never witnessed a delivery before were getting to see such a good one! Baby’s head came out, and I had to work a little bit harder for those shoulders, which was new for me, but still very doable. It was incredibly quick, but totally and completely under control! And there he was!!!

Solomon Brady was born on May 31st, 2016, at 5:20pm, right within that window that I had promised the doctors 😉 He felt just right TINY in my arms, yet that sturdy body weighed 10 lbs 7 oz, and once they managed to unscrunch him somewhat, we learned we was 23″ long. He has fuzzy brown hair on his head, with some Dekker-style cowlicks to boot. He has long, piano fingers. As for his APGAR details, his initial number was 9, but it actually went down to 8 after a few minutes. His breathing wasn’t great, he still had a lot of crud to get through, so he was our first baby to get suctioned a little bit, but he was doing much better after just that little bit of help. I snuggled with him for a good long while, even all through my stitches (yup, got those) SO thankful for my doctors, making sure I was solidly numbed up before they began their work.

Everything felt so peaceful. My entire labour and delivery was 4.5 hours, and I can honestly say that I really enjoyed it! Just about every aspect 🙂 I felt celebrated, and cared for, and like everyone around me was rooting for me and my family. And this continued to be the case all through our hospital stay. I hesitate to add all of that information to this post because this is a LONG post, in case you hadn’t noticed, haha! But truly, we were amazingly well cared for. I couldn’t have asked for a better labour and delivery experience than this one, yet I said that about Rowan’s as well, and here we are 🙂 God is SO good.

We are so very thrilled with how Solly was born into the world. The Lord certainly answered our prayers.

We had a bit more of a broken night with Solly, but it wasn’t even that bad. We’ve really just been spoiled. But he was up extra times last night, and we woke up feeling more groggy than usual. Brady and I, anyway. The big kids were up considerably earlier than usual, but put themselves back to sleep and we all managed to dig up a bit of extra rest this morning.

In the mid morning, Brady and I made the plan that we’d all run into the city quickly for Walmart. We STILL do not have curtains up, and our big, eat facing bedroom window is making life hard, haha! We bought curtains and curtain rods the other day, but of course, the curtain rod for our room was too short. Let me tell you guys, it is TIME for curtains! So while the kids finished up breakfast, I pulled out their clothes. Thats easily one of my favorite parts of taking the kids out. Even when we’re going anywhere special, of they aren’t dressing up nice, its still fun 🙂

They were all SO cute!!!

We drove in to Walmart and loaded everyone up to go in! I don’t know how other families do carts but we put the bucket in the cart, Rowan rides in the seat part, Dekker perches on the end, and Laela prefers to walk with me and hold hands. Sometimes she and Dekker trade places, but its actually a good system! No one is hanging off the sides or running away. They’re all pretty contained.

Of course, the first thing we saw upon entering the store was a really really good cereal sale. Six boxes of cereal later, we made it to the home section and started looking for our curtain rod. We really like the ones we got for the kids rooms, but they didn’t appear to come in a longer size. It was my fine detective skills that found exactly what we were looking for, hidden behind a stack of other rods that were hung in the wrong spot. Win!! So we snagged our curtain rod, a little extra hardware bag (who leaves an 8-10′ curtain rod with only one tiny support??) and our cereal, and headed to the tills. We paid up quick, got into the van, and made our way to my parents place for lunch.

It was a really nice rest of the day. The kids played awesome together, us adults actually got in some conversation, my parents spent some special time outside just with the grandkids, etc. It was a lovely day. We were concerned we wouldn’t be able to stay all day, just with the shape the kids are in these days, and the choppy night and morning, but they did very well! Solly slept a lot and got in lots of cuddles with just about everyone. Rowan had a good nap and when he wasn’t sleeping, he was WALKING. That kid doesn’t have a big desire left to crawl, thats for sure. He has been walking for three days only, and he is really, really good at it! Far beyond counting steps. He goes from one room to the other, and back again, following the big kids around.

He would absolutely not be left out! And thankfully, he is not the kind of kid to cry every time he goes down. Not. At. All. He laughs and gets moving again. He only cries if he full on smacks his face, or…nope, thats about it. No self pity for this kid!

After a full afternoon of fun and good food, we headed home. I love how close it is. I love driving up to our house and seeing it, standing there in all of its glory. I love that Laela still says “Wooooow!!” when we drive up to it, because that’s exactly how I feel.

Now, everyone is tucked in, except Solomon. He’s waiting for the curtain installation (FINALLY!) to be done in our room. But that’s just wrapping up, and then its milk and sleep for this little dude. And then his parents soon to follow. Its been a lovely day, but I am anticipating sleep, for sure. My most recently dose of medication never fully kicked in and I am feeling rough, to say the least. So a snack and a bath are next on the list.

Looking forward to the week to come 🙂

We have been in our new house for one week. In case you somehow missed the boat, we had a HUGE moving day last Saturday, and somehow got absolutely everything into our house that day! Today, with my pain level finally under control, I was able to help Brady finish up the main area of the house!!!

So by “finished,” I mean it is a box-free zone, and everything that was previously living on the island now has a home. By “finished,” I do NOT mean that everything is perfectly furnished and how I want it to be, 100%. No. That will take much longer. We’re looking for a few pieces of furniture to bring our ideas to life, such as a coffee bar, a new table, and hopefully a piano! But those will come gradually, and likely not anytime soon. We’ve got time.

We didn’t even work too hard, or too long, but we accomplished a lot, and the result makes us feel really awesome. Of course, let’s be real. There are boxes piled up in every other room, and our basement is ridiculous, but we had to start somewhere, and I’m glad it was here.

We also did laundry today, which was LONG overdue, considering we brought a large hamper full of dirty clothes over with the move, and have only been adding to it since then. Our laundry machines are almost worthy of tears, I won’t lie. We can dump a pretty good sized hamper full of laundry into our washer, and it just sprinkles the bottom. Our huge amount of laundry today was taken care of in two loads. Two. And that was bedding, as well.

Our neighbours from across the street dropped by with a plate of baking this afternoon. They just wanted to touch base, meet us, and welcome us to the street. It was so nice of them, and we are SO glad they came by! They were at the block party we went to a few weeks back, but we never made contact with them, for some reason, so this was perfect. So many people have reached out to welcome us, or welcome Solly, and have made us feel so at home!!

Thats been one of the funniest things about moving here. Feeling at home. We have been dreaming of building a home in this town since just shortly after Dekker was born. So its been about 4.5 years. And for one reason or another, every year, that dream was sort of shot down. We accepted it, and continued to live pretty happily where we were. (We’ve since learned that there was a lot of gossip thrown around that town about us during our stay there, which kind of burns, but matters less now that we don’t live there.) When we finally found out that the build was a possibility, we listed and waited and relisted and waited, tapping our annoying feet the entire duration of the listing process. We sold and got out as fast as we could. I know, you know the story. Basically, the entire build process was incredible, and surreal, and can’t really be described with words on a page. I very literally dreamed about possession day, and moving day, and what it would feel like to be handed the keys, and how we’d set up, and all of those exciting things. I ached for those things. And now we live here. And it doesn’t feel surreal. It feels normal. It feels like we’ve always lived here.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not taking it for granted. It is just perfect. PERFECT. For us. Sometimes, I look around our home in complete disbelief and awe. Other times (most times) I just live here. Because I always have. Our hearts have been living in this house in this town for years, and it feels so natural to be here, finally.

Finally.

So.

This is home. And we’ve always been here. So if you haven’t stopped by to see us yet, you’re long overdue! Come have coffee, and help us eat some of the delicious things that people keep bringing to us 😀

I mentioned yesterday that I’ve been in some funny, super duper annoying pain. I called my doctors office yesterday to try to get in with her, and they put me in where they could, which was today, at 4:15, with a resident who would consult with Dr. Guselle about me after the fact. While I would always prefer to see her, beggars can’t be choosers, and I know she knows me and will take note of whats going on. Full trust there. When I was at the appointment, however, the resident said that Dr. Guselle had seen my name come up and planned to come see me herself as well. Yay!

I listed off the issues I’ve been having. I have this unbelievable pain below my ribs, right in the middle there that just refuses to quit!! I can’t stand up straight, lift anyone, sit in any reasonable position, take deep breaths, eat a full meal, etc. You name it, and this pain is making it hard to do. Also, at ten days postpartum, I feel I should easily be weening off my medicine rather than increasing. However, what I’m taking isn’t touching it! What gives??

I saw the resident first, and he asked lots of questions and took notes. When his questions were exhausted, he said he’s go consult with Dr. Guselle and then they’d both come in to chat with me. I waited a bit, and he ducked his head back in just to say she was in with someone else but they’d come soon. No rush, I was fine. When she did come in, she asked a couple more questions before asking to poke at my tummy a little. I lay down and gave them full access to my jelly belly. She poked the part that I was complaining about, and I confirmed that it was quite tender. Then she had me try to sit up a little, just enough to flex my ab muscles, and WOW is that muscle angry!! It hurt so much worse to have it poked at that second time! Yikes! I did learn that everything is coming back together nicely, so thats a positive thing, but apparently I have one two very strained, very angry muscles. She said it was a fairly normal thing, especially considering my size and the Sollys size. Not that we weren’t a good fit or anything, but that combined with a rougher pregnancy than usual might be enough to piss my body off more than usual as well. We confirmed that it wasn’t a hernia, and likely not anything crazier like an ulcer. I assured her that I’m not super concerned, and I’m not losing sleep over what’s happening that I don’t know about. No overreactions that way over here. I’m just fed up with being in this pain. From there, she gave me a bit of a timeline of when to expect this to get better, and we talked meds and doses and came up with a new plan that I’m going to try through the weekend and see where I end up. If all seems well, Solly has his checkup next week Friday, and Dr. Guselle said we’d just reassess me then too. So hopefully this new regimen works well and I can start to function better in the days again.

I feel so silly complaining of a muscle ache after delivering a baby. There could be far worse things, and a pulled muscle is so small. But the reality is that its been affecting my daily life, where I feel nauseous and full and dizzy and all around ill equipped. Hopefully I can soon get my pain under control and be better at my life.

After our trip to the appointment, I felt like complete garbage and spent our home time sitting in our big comfy chair with Solly eating and dozing intermittently. And then this happened!!!

So apparently he wants to walk now!!! At 15.5 months, we are more than ready for it, but this much progress out of nowhere was a HUGE surprise! He’s been able to stand up in the middle of the room for a very long time now, but hasn’t much bothered to take steps. In the last few days, he’s started a little bit of a shy shuffle, but then this happened today!!! It would appear he wanted to save this skill for the new house 🙂 It was a really exciting evening after this, with lots of celebrating and clapping and Rowan walking over and over again. It was an incredibly strange feeling to leave the room and to find him following me on foot! I’m so very proud of him. Thanks for adding such a positive light to the end of our day!!

I am truly blessed to have such chill kids. Thanks to them, we are able to have these quiet days that I am needing so much right now. Thank you, my beautiful kids, for being silent rockstars for me!!

Solly let me sleep until just before 8:00 this morning, which was completely awesome. I woke feeling rested and fairly good physically. (I’m having some interesting changes in my pain that I’ll touch on more tomorrow) It was a while before everyone woke up for breakfast, or I thought it was everyone. Rowan was still sleeping when we got up, and Solly spends most of his daytime hours dozing in his bouncy chair, so I ate breakfast with Dekker and Laela, just like old times. It was nice, moods were up, the house smells fresh, etc.

As soon as the big kids finished eating, Rowan woke up. So I sat at the table with him and got him some cereal and yogurt. Of course, as it would to happen, as soon as Ro was done, Solly woke up with a vengeance, ready to eat. I grabbed him a bottle and went to sit in the living room with everyone to feed him. By the time he was done eating, it was lunch! Yikes! So it feels like all morning was spent eating.

Around noon, I took another dose of pain meds, and within an hour, I was out of commission, on the couch, in a lot of pain. I made some phone calls after that, and finally time passed and I could take more meds. Not that they’re really touching anything right now. At this stage of the game, I’m pretty sure I should easily be weening off of my medication, not needing more. So I’ll see someone about that tomorrow, no worries. But my kids were very relaxed and played well while I sat curled up in a ball. At one point, Rowan got SO angry at something and would not stop crying and freaking out that I put him in his bed for a few minutes to calm down. And he fell asleep. Solly also, as usual, was mostly asleep, so soon I was just sitting on the couch, watching Paw Patrol with my big kids. It helped. Dekker and Laela have started really scrapping with each other recently, but I witnessed some adorable interactions between them that reminded me just how sweet they are, and that they really love each other. What amazing kids!

My late afternoon/evening got a bit challenging again, and I ended up having a soak as soon as Brady got home. A friend from church brought us a super delicious supper, which REALLY helped. Its amazing to have one less thing to think about and plan for. I also had a really lovely time chatting with my sister on the phone this evening. Its so important to keep in touch, and I love our calls. We don’t talk on the phone too terribly often, maybe a couple of times a month, but we always do a really good job of catching up 🙂 Certainly no love lost over time.

So the kids were good, the soak was good, the call was good, supper was good, all is well. Except this silly pain. It has reached the point of making me feel sick to my stomach. Oy. I hope to find some answers tomorrow, so if you think of me, feel free to say a quick prayer!

Time for bath #2 and bedtime. So. Ready. For bedtime.

Thank you, everyone, who checked up on me today. I was feeling quite low yesterday, with pretty solid anxiety about Brady heading back to work today. I wasn’t nervous about being on my own with the four kids, to be honest. This has just all been SO different than any other time in our life, and I felt ill prepared to go forward with the day. Usually, I have Brady home for two solid weeks of being lazy, having 3-4 baths per day, watching movies, going out a couple of times, taking lots of pictures, etc. Since Solomon was born, we haven’t had a single day that is just down time. And then I’m losing Brady a week earlier than usual. I know lots of men go back to work considerably sooner, but this is just what we’ve done, and because its been SO different, and SOOO busy, I was very, very nervous. I chose not to share this with my husband, which of course only made things worse for me. It was a difficult day, and a VERY hard evening.

I am completely blown away by the amount of people who have offered to help, checked in on me, or even dropped by with treats, encouragements, etc. We feel truly loved and cared about!

Solly was very gentle with us last night, waking up only twice in the night! Brady and I tag teamed his diapers and feedings, and he and I both woke up feeling good and rested. At different times, of course, but it was nice to start the day feeling good. Solly dozed while I fed the big kids breakfast, and they played the morning away. My mom came by around 9:30/10:00 and spent a few hours with us, playing with the big kids, snuggling Solly, visiting with me, etc. She brought and prepared lunch as well. It was helpful, and also really really nice to have her around. I think I would have been in worse shape yesterday had we not planned for her to come today. Thank you again, mom. You helped a lot today, even though you don’t think you did.

Mom left around 1:30, and I plunked myself down in our recliner with Solly, and we all watched a bit of tv. It was relaxing. That is, until I realized I forgot to take my medication. I took it as soon as I could, but things were already wearing off, and I felt sick.

In our +30C weather, Brady came home to find me wearing a big hoodie and two pairs of pants. TWO. I was frozen and shivery and sick to my stomach. He ran me a hot bath and set up the laptop for me to watch some YouTube in there, and left me to take a break. I felt silly needing such a thing, after a really GOOD day! But I just did. Maybe it was my body coming down from everything, I don’t know, but it felt awful. The bath helped tremendously! Though I’m still planning on an evening soak like always 😉

Upon getting out of the bath, a friend dropped by with some treats for us, to celebrate the new house and the baby and all of the craziness. That paired with a meal brought to us by a friend made for a delicious evening, and we are full and SO ready for bed! Haha! Speaking like parents of a newborn, that’s for sure!

Thank you, again, for all of your prayers and concern and encouragement. Let’s call today a success!!

So I’ll just put it out there quickly that I always have a good blue day in my first week postpartum. Usually just one, about three days in, and it is almost always very, very blue. For the record, I am definitely aware of postpartum depression, and I am definitely on the lookout. Zero shame, completely. If I think I’m anywhere near, steps will be taken. But with all of the hormones and changes and surges and craziness, I’m definitely feeling low today. It was a great day, but this evening, I feel low.

SO! I decided to post that photo post of outdoor church, as promised a couple of days ago. Behold, my beautiful family!

I was insistent that Solly wear this shirt, because I LOVE it! But of course I have it in newborn size. So as you can see, he is PACKED right in there! That was this shirts first and last outing. On Solly, anyway 😉

This was breakfast. Bagels were the big win on our blanket with these kiddos. Rowan too, but he wasn’t quite as able to feed himself with them positively smothered in cream cheese.

Probably the majority of you have seen this picture of Solomon already, but it can’t be left out. Not only is it gorgeous, but its the only one we have of him that morning, because thats practically all he did all morning!

Rowan’s cream cheese face cannot be left undocumented.

I left to get the bottomless pits yet more food, and when I came back, my spot beside Brady had been hijacked by just about everyone. I figured, at least I’d get a cute picture out of the deal. But then there was Rowan… Its ok, he did cute things later.

This picture cracks me up more than it should. Its not as though the kids never eaten fruit, he knows about peels/rinds/the like, but as much as we told it wouldn’t be yummy, he insisted he eat the rind. “I want it to be all gone,” he said. I asked if it yummy. “Not really…”

I have to include both of these, even though they’re not that different. I just love them too much to try to choose. I love how happy we are, and how much fun the morning was. Our expressions are not forced. It was a truly wonderful morning out.

And it really couldn’t have ended on a sweeter note <3 Some handsome men I have here.

Looking through these pictures again has done good things for my soul. Feel free to pray for my little family, as we go through all of our changes, and some days are smoother than others. We are so grateful for our life, and the people we share it with.