I realized I have a handful of super cute pictures of Dekker and Solly from the last few days that I can’t leave unshared. So while they’re unrelated, I’m going to do up a quick post about my oldest and my youngest boys.

Dekker is SO psyched to go to the beach!! He’s been colouring a lot recently, and today, he drew a picture of the lake that I actually thought was pretty awesome.

He told me the “top blue” was the sky, and the “bottom blue” was the water, and then the sand! To his dismay, the yellow sunshine was a tad on the green side, but he understood why, haha! I thought it was a great picture, and he was super proud of it.

Another thing that stood out to me about him today was that he is totally in baby mode!!

He swaddled his stuffed puppy (its more of a pancake at this point) and snuggled it on his chair, patting it and holding its head. It looked SO soft and SO nice. Dekker tends to be a bit of a slow starter, and while he’s never showed any issue with the new babies, he usually takes a while before he wants to be involved with them very much. I think it might go differently this time 🙂

Last, and probably least, haha, Dekker ate an apple like this today!

My mess-free boy has NEVER eaten an apple this way. He always prefers things to be sliced and as neat as possible, so this was kind of a surprise to me. An even bigger surprise was how much he loved it! Even though he was sticky at the end. It was cool to see him let go of something that he seemed to need in the past. Win for Dekker!

Then we have our Solly, who is SO sweet these days! You may or may not have seen the picture I put up of him a few days ago.

That boy loves a good chocolate chip cookie, and Rowan loves that Solly no longer tries to eat his chocolate chip cookie.

On that same day, we ran some errands in the city, but made it home just as Solly was moments from sleep. Poor baby was SO tired, but hilariously adorable and unmoving on his daddy’s shoulder as he was carried inside.

He perked up a little bit and joined the kids for lunch before going down for his much needed nap. We left the table for moment and accidentally left his plate within his reach. He pulled it over to himself and we found him LOADED DOWN with banana.

Thats a half banana, shoved into that massive baby mouth, and if you can’t tell, he is SO PLEASED with himself! Some goldfish snuck in there as well. Truly, though, it was adorable, and Brady and I laughed so hard. It was awesome. Yay independence, haha!

I love my kids to pieces. They are so incredible, on all the levels, in all the ways. It was fun to spotlight these two today.

Its been a pretty good day so far 🙂 You guys are in the know. The last weeks have been challenging in a lot of ways, and I’ve been feeling overdone. The kids are going through a really hard stage, Solly has been actively working on his first set of molars (two have cracked the surface, but we still have a ways to go,) Brady’s work has been all over the place, leaving him working more evenings than usual, I’m still sick and fatigued, and the medication I can take for my nausea is basically like taking sleeping pills all day. Its been a challenge. But today, I feel a tad bit better 🙂 Even though its a small victory, I feel like it needs to be acknowledged 🙂

While the kids ate breakfast, I did a load of dishes. For some reason, the last few mornings, I’ve woken up feeling sicker than usual, and beyond that, my arms feel like I’ve slept directly on top of them all night or something. I haven’t done that, and I know this because I spend a decent amount of time awake in the nights, but my hands and arms have been basically dead to me the last couple of mornings. They were the same again today, yet I pushed through and got a load of dishes in! Small victory, lol! And by the amount of dishes still left on the counter, you’d never know I did some 😉 But it still counts for me! I earned my coffee, that’s for sure!

The kids played pretty well through the morning, and I’ve been able to do a teeny bit of sorting and organizing. Solly burst into tears, however, right around 11:00 and that was just it. He went from playing happily to wailing as though he’d fallen or gotten hurt, except that I was with him when the crying began, with no incident to speak of. I did everything in my power to calm him but he was right pissed. I finally plopped him in his high chair, got a bit of food into him as fast as I could, and he went RIGHT to bed, no struggle. Poor teething baby.

While this went down, I chatted on the phone with my mom and we made a pickle plan! I’m so stoked to can some pickles this summer!! Its been a few years since we did our last pickle day, and we’re both completely out. However, after doing a bit of research, we may have a wrench thrown into our plans :/ We’ll have to see how that all winds up, but we have high hopes of making pickles in the VERY near future. And somehow, that plan with our tight timeline doesn’t feel overwhelming for me. Yet another thing that’s giving me a tiny bit of hope that my first trimester craziness/moodiness/everythingness is potentially on its way out. I can dream!

The one bigger thing on my list is getting hyperorganized for our lake trip coming up, as our days leading up to it are full, and are getting fuller! But the biggest part of that was getting organized food wise, and I did that yesterday! I planned our meals and even snacks, so all that’s left to do for that is a quick grocery shop right before we go 🙂 Look at me over here, accomplishing tiny unimportant things!! Go me!

The big kids are currently eating popcorn and watching some tv while I’m researching, blogging, organizing, etc. Its relaxed around here. Brady won’t work a super long day today, since he has physio in the mid-afternoon, which is so nice. Its been a successful day so far, where I feel like I have things a teeny bit more together than usual. Its all pretty minimal, but these last couple of months have really given me a run for my money, and I’m starting to see little improvements.

I’m feeling really thankful today 🙂

Second trimester, baby!! We have arriiiiived! Haha! I am SO ready for that promised burst of energy, the disappearing nausea, the better sleep, etc. Not that I’m not optimistic 😉 But I’m not holding my breath that any of that is directly around the corner. Even in my past pregnancies, where I’ve had FAR less sickness, I’m still sick for another couple of weeks at least. Such is life. Such is having babies. I’m willing to take that hit!

Comparison/Size: Apparently, the baby is roughly the size of a Hot Wheels car this week! When I told the kids, Dekker just burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d heard all day. I love the thought of it, though. Thats a decent size! I’m pumped. Also, I hear my uterus has grown from the size of a grapefruit to the size of a softball. Are those even that different? Lol! I’m not good at sports…..

How am I feeling mentally: I’m feeling fairly at peace about my pregnancy. Not all the way, but pretty good. There was so much relief with my recent appointments, and there was a definite shift that came with that. I feel better overall. Yet I feel like the chase for the next milestone will never end until this pregnancy does. Or at least until I can feel movement. That is SUCH a wonderful reassurance to have every day once it starts. I’m anticipating it very much. I still feel a bit nervous, as my body hasn’t grown the same way it has in the past. I can finally feel my uterus, but its not the good sizeable bump I can cup in my palm when I’m laying down. I used to be able to feel that exact thing right around 10-11 weeks every other pregnancy. But I have no real reason to think things aren’t going smoothly. Besides these things, we are swiftly approaching the due date I was so anticipating in my previous pregnancy with Theo. So that is definitely heavy on my heart, but it feels a little bit different. Separate, almost? I’m not sure.

How am I feeling physically: Things are still trucking along. My meds have kept me alive and well, as well as kept my nausea under control. However, I did dry heave my face off yesterday to the smell of coffee brewing, so I’m clearly not out of the woods yet. On a separate note of physical feelings, let’s talk about boobs for a minute. You can take it, don’t worry. They have been hurting like there’s no tomorrow for a solid 7 weeks now, and they have FINALLY grown a bit! Any chance they won’t keep hurting? Like its not looking good, they still hurt 24/7, but maybe the end is near since they finally did their thing. Maybe? I can dream.

Appointments: Nothing new here. I’ll see my doctor mid-August.

Buys/Wish List: Ok! I bought something, finally!! Remember a while back, I mentioned that I ordered some jean shorts from the Gap and was eagerly awaiting their arrival, since my current shorts were getting SO tight and pinchy and cutting in? It seemed like they took forever to come, and when they finally did, they didn’t fit. Now I KNOW some people will hate me for this, but I’m allowed to be annoyed, so don’t hate on me. They were the smallest size that exists. Size 0. For the record, I am NOT a size 0. Ever. But Gap clothes fit on the larger side, and I am actually quite annoyed that their smallest size is too big on me. I KNOW there are LOTS of pregnant women who are smaller than me. What a pain. So I need to send those back, but in the meantime, I went to Thyme Maternity yesterday and bought two pairs of shorts to last me through until the end of summer. They were already all on sale, and then as an added surprise, they were an additional 50% off, so I got two pairs of shorts I really like, that fit really well, for less than I expected to pay for one pair. Win for me!! I prefer the style of the Gap shorts better, but they looked boxy and wide on me, and my butt crack would never be concealed. I’m really thankful to have found what I found. They are much nicer and more comfortable than I was expecting. Thank you, tiny Thyme location, for not being sold out of my size!

How are the kids feeling: The kids are less interested at this point, haha! To their credit, they mention the baby every single day, and they LOVE calling him/her “little papoose.” Its really caught on, which I love. But I don’t think they’ll really show much new interest until they can know the gender. Thats the big question. Is it a boy or a girl. Over and over and over again. I hope we can actually find out!! There has been ONE time only that we weren’t able to find out at our anatomy scan, and we went for a 3D ultrasound about eight weeks later. If, for whatever reason, we can’t find out at our anatomy scan, I doubt we’ll be waiting eight weeks! We’re all so eager this time around, haha!

The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: I think I could say the best part of being pregnant this week was going to a baby shower. Not mine, but my cousins. She is pregnant, I am pregnant, and another guest at the shower was pregnant. It was so much fun to be part of the excitement for her, and to be part of the group of pregnant ladies. It was a safe space to talk babies and pregnancy and all the ins and out, with views from a handful of seasoned moms. Its SO fun for me to be able to talk about my love for my children and child bearing, unabashedly, shamelessly, joyfully. I really enjoyed that. It brought up more excitement in my heart, and an even stronger anticipation for my little papoose. I am SO excited!!!

Anything else: I’m into the fun realm of terrifying pregnancy dreams. Sigh. I’m still quite fatigued, even though I’m technically in my second trimester, and the bizarre dreams are not helping me feel more rested!! Also, I’ve been eating a TON of cinnamon toast crunch, and I’m so hungry for pastry, haha! Turnovers, danishes, the fruit sticks with the big hunks of sugar on top, things like that. SO hungry for that! I may have to buy a bit of it for our upcoming lake trip. Or just buy them from the bakery there, when everyone else is getting sticky buns. Mmmmm…

Pictures: Behold, as per usual, the bumpity bump. Forgive my messy, fluffiness.

I’m really just thickening, haha! I can see the bump, but I’m definitely still at that point where I just look like I just ate recently. I’m ok with that, either way. I know what’s going on.

And these are my shorts!

I admit, the first pair are more comfy because the panel is soft and comfy, but I don’t love the embroidery. The second pair are lighter and more simple, which I like, but the panel isn’t my fave. So they definitely have their trade offs. But both fit really well and I’m SO thankful to have found them for less than $20 each!!

That’s it, that’s all! Its been a nice week. I still feel sick and tired, but I feel happy and excited. Summer is moving quicker than I thought it would, but I’m eagerly anticipating whats all to come. Dekker and I had a great chat this morning over breakfast about whats to come. My birthday is in a few days, and then his is three weeks later. Soon after that, we’ll have a special weekend away, and then school will start. Grade one for Dekker also means preschool for Laela, and a month or so into that, Laela will turn 4! The next thing is thanksgiving, and then halloween. Christmas will creep up fast after that, and only a few weeks after Christmas, we’ll get our brand new baby. There is SO much to look forward to, and while I’m not wishing time to pass, I’m so happy about all that’s to come! I’m so ready for it all.

I try so hard to stay positive, but Brady and I had a bit of a heart to heart and decided that, unfortunately, last week was just really hard, and really bad. For lots of reasons, it was just a sucky week, and I’m have some anxiety about the week to come. I had some lovely plans to disappear and run a few errands on my own this morning, free of anyone who screamed, argued, or even talked. Just me, to get in a better headspace. But as plans tend to do, they changed. While a break would’ve been so useful and appreciated, I knew my family could use the outing just as much as I could. So we all went.

As per usual, it was a bit busy and chaotic getting out the door in the midst of Rowan melting down and Solly crying over his poor little teeth. He cracked a molar in the last few days, and cracked another a week or two ago that’s still only halfway out. Along with those, I can feel three more teeth that are pushing, and who knows how many are moving and hurting him that are still lower in his gums? Poor kid is working hard these days!! But we finally managed our way through all the pep talks, medication, and shoes, and everyone made it out to the bus.

We only had three places to hit, and they all had nice short lists. We did Superstore, and picked up a few things, but didn’t get cookies at the bakery. We then stopped at another place, that I’ll tell you more about in tomorrows post 😉 But our last stop was Costco, where the kids got their cookies, and we stocked up pretty much all of our staples. We were out of milk, yogurt, apples, bananas, coffee, and cheese. That basically boils down to the apocalypse around here, but we got all set up with our necessities as well as a handful of other things. At both grocery stores, we were able to walk right up to the till and get ourselves through and paid up in no time at all. The man who loaded our cart at Costco just chatted with the little boys as they sat in the cart, watching intently. Neither of them really responded to him at all, but he just rolled with it and kept “their” conversation going. I loved that 🙂

Upon arriving home, Brady took on the task of getting the kids lunch, and I unloaded the van quickly before disappearing upstairs to get ready for the afternoon. My mom and I made our way to a baby shower for one of my cousins, and spent a few hours reminiscing with family, talking about babies, and her future plans. It was exciting to just be around that again. Someone have a baby already!! Lol! Maybe I’ll be so classy as to throw myself a baby shower, haha! Its been a while, so that would make sense right?? 😉 I tease. They’re a lot of fun, though. It was nice to be able to chat about babies again and “Ooo” and “aah” over baby clothes. How is it that light grey makes babies even softer than they already are?? Eek! I want one!

I’m home for the day now, and the kids will be in bed in about an hour. All in all, I can safely say its been a nice day, and I have some hope for the week ahead. I want to try hard to keep a positive perspective, but please be gentle with me if I get a bit down. These have been hard hard days, and hard stages for the kids. I am feeling so drained, while anxiously waiting for that promised “second trimester energy” to strike me. Bring it on!! Trimester #2 started tomorrow and I am SO ready for it to make good on some of its promises!

Brady began his second deck build of 2017 as he and my dad took on the job of my parents deck. Its been in the works for a while, but the quote came in, the order was placed, and everything was dropped off a couple of days ago.

Praise the Lord the weather cooperated today and the boys didn’t get rained out. The weather was actually a bit foggy and cool in the morning, but the sun moved in for the afternoon.

I had a super weird, unsettling, broken sleep, but when I woke up, my mom had texted and offered to come by and do the morning with us. So she came and hung out with us, and helped with breakfast and helped us get out the door. We headed right over to her house, where the kids settled in really smoothly. Its been a while since we’ve just spent a day playing over there. Meanwhile, the boys had just about finished up all of the tedious work of placing the patio blocks, levelling the gravel underneath, and sloping some dirt away from the house. When that was finally done, the real building began.

The work hit a few snags and my dad had to make some quick trips to nearby hardware stores, but things kept moving and I’ve got to say, they made it pretty far for their first day!!

I mean, it helps when you had an audience as cute as this.

I like them a lot 🙂

Brady and I are quite wiped out after today. He is wiped out in the rewarding, successful way that you feel when you’ve gotten a lot done. That sore ache that’s kind of satisfying. I’m wiped out from the kids, lol! They’re just in a really tough stage right now, and there is so much screaming in a day. By the end of it, I’m just finish.

After supper, Brady and my dad went and loaded Brady’s tools back up in his van, and we were off. We plucked Rowan from his 20 ish minute temper tantrum and hauled him out to the van (left it running with a/c, of course) and then followed right after with the other kids.

Ro went right to bed upon arriving home, and while Brady tucked him in and I changed Solly’s diaper, the big kids got on tidying up the few toys they’d spread out in the morning before we left. It was an efficient system, and bedtime went fairly seamlessly, for which I am thankful.

Now, I’m in bed. I don’t plan to leave, haha! Well, I’ll leave for a bath. But that’s it. Now I snack and sleep.

Happy weekend, all!!

The weather has been so unpredictable these days, but also predictable in the way that we know its going to be all over the place and to basically stay inside, or bring jackets and be ready for anything.

Last weekend, we had some good hail come down and ding up our bus, as well as many other people’s vehicles, obviously. What can you do, right? Since then, it seems like we’ve had a fairly consistent low rumbling of thunder, along with power flickers, full outages, LOTS of lightening, and general grey weather. Luckily, I don’t mind storms. In fact, I super like them.

This afternoon, I had the pleasure of visiting with a friend who I almost never ever see. It was just a shorty visit (we’ll have to make them a bit longer in the future 😉 ) but we got to talking a bit about storms. We both love storms, which I feel not everyone understands. But they’re SO exciting and unpredictable and LOUD and dramatic and just fun. Its so nice to find other people in my life who love a good storm 🙂

Now that we have our new house, and our master bedroom is above the garage, it physically shakes when there’s a good crash of thunder. Its such a new feeling, and I really like it, though its a startling way to wake up in the morning!! Haha! No lie. Almost scared me out of my bed this morning! Almost 😉

Moments after my friend left, the clouds opened up and out poured the rains!! And WOW did they pour! Within seconds, the hail came flying down with it! Thankfully, the hail wasn’t as large as it was during our last hail storm last weekend, because I had to run out in it and open one of our downspouts! But it didn’t hurt me too bad, just got a little wet, which I can handle. Again, I love storms, and the rain, and everything that has to do with it. Yes, even the wet clothes afterwards. I’m even ok with those. So I wasn’t too put off.

The rain is still coming down, but the hail has given up for now. I opened a window to listen to it, which is one of the BEST parts, but I got cold really fast and closed it up again. Brrrrr! One day, I won’t feel sick 24/7, and then I likely won’t get chilled quite as easily. I anticipate that day.

I feel like I have been anticipating our family trip to the lake for SO long! And let’s be real. It has been a long time! If I remember right, we booked our August trip back in February!! Time has been creeping by ever so slowly, and I’ve been resisting the urge to plan too terribly far ahead.

We leave on August 5th, so thats in 16 days, I believe. I think I’m allowed to start planning now, haha! If I didn’t see these next two weeks filling up fast, I probably would still restrain myself, but there is lots to do and I don’t want to end up scrambling. Plus, when I have lots of time to get organized, I can get SUPER organized, and that makes for a breezy packing experience, which is not always the case when packing for six.

On our day trips, we’ve been able to pack a pretty full diaper bag, a bathing suit/towel/set of comfy clothes for each person, a cooler bag of snacks, the camera, aaaaand that’s pretty much it! But five days away will look a lot different!

I’m so thankful we booked in advance because we were able to nail down our ideal place. We’re staying in a two bedroom condo-ish-type place, with a deck, bbq, full bathroom and kitchen! Having lots of space makes it easier to grossly overpack and be ready for anything, by default. We’ll bring both strollers, and at least one high chair. We’ll be able to bring food for most days so we aren’t left eating out for every single meal. We’ll bring a playpen for Solly aaaaand I’m not quite sure what we’ll do for Rowan just yet 😬 We can bring jackets and hats boots and shoes and sandals and everything we could possibly need, as well as far more sand toys than we’d actually ever need to bring. We’ll likely bring disposable dishes, just for ease. Ssshhh! Don’t tell the environment! Seriously, though, we will PACK.

I need to make detailed lists, and maybe even a really basic meal plan with really simple food. Not only will that make it so easy, but it’ll also be food that the kids for sure enjoy and maybe, for five sweet days, we won’t have to force anyone to eat anything they don’t like. What a relief!!

As I think about this, I’m remember we had a master list on our computer, at one point, for packing for a road trip. But I’m pretty sure that was long before Solly was born, and possibly before Rowan was born. No point in trying to fuss with that list now! Time to make a new one!

What could you never leave at home if you were going to the lake for a week? What can’t I forget?? Help!

One of my pregnancy tracking apps told me weeks ago already that my hormones are probably starting to level out. It is wrong, and they are not. I’m still struggling quite hard with my moods, feeling overdone very early in the day, impatient, and ready to cry at the drop of a hat. Its not unheard of, obviously, and without complaining about my situation at all, even a lazy day around here is pretty busy. So I’m tired and grouchy a lot of the time. Just trying to be honest.

After yet another restless night, I made a very real effort to be positive this morning. The kids all woke up happy, and then we didn’t eat breakfast for sooo long because Rowan was a total snuggle bug and I ended up laying with him in Dekker’s bed and just cuddling, giving lots of smooches, and identifying facial features, haha! It was SO cozy, and very distracting. But eventually, we got up and the kids demolished their breakfasts of apple jacks.

Except Solly.

For some reason, he was not having it. I couldn’t tell you why, except maybe teething. He wouldn’t eat much at all, and just cried and cried and cried. That is NOT like Solly. He is so content and relaxed, so when he does that kind of thing, I don’t argue with him. He just wouldn’t settle. So I tricked him into eating his yogurt, and let him be done. But toys wouldn’t do it either.

Dekker finished his breakfast and took it upon himself to work to get Solly settled and happy. He played with him and encouraged him and distracted him like crazy. It was SO awesome. I thanked him over and over, and he just assured me that he knew Solly would be happier if he had a friend to play with. He’s so right. Yay for siblings!

It was pretty on and off all morning, though. Rowan was so screechy this morning, and would scream over anything that didn’t go exactly his way, including duplo not clicking together exactly how he wanted it to. It was so annoying. I would remind him he could ask me for help, he would, I’d help him, and he’d be happy. And then scream five seconds later. Over and over again.

In amongst all of these things, I had this brief moment of reassurance in my head that said “This morning wouldn’t be as overwhelming if not for my crazy hormones. It’ll be easier once they level out.” Now this is something that I know, from experience and also logic. But I really felt it today, that this morning isn’t actually that bad, and that I’m just overwhelmed and tired and it’ll all feel a bit more handlable (yup, its a word) soon enough. I feel like that’s just a glimmer of hope that maaaybe that time is coming. If my head is clear enough to see this, probably its clearing! Right? Haha! Maybe I’m just hopeful and naive. Who knows. Hopefully I’ll know soon! If not, please love me through my crazy!!

Brady had a chunk of time off last week and yesterday, but today, he was back to work, which put me back in my usual morning routine of getting the kids up and fed, and everything else that goes along with that. This morning was no different than my usual mornings when Brady’s at work, but its been a little while since I had to do a morning on my own, and truthfully, I felt SO overwhelmed.

Once again, I didn’t sleep well and had a rough time getting out of bed. But thats nothing new. The kids were cute, chatting together, but all tucked into their beds still. It was quite endearing, until they opened their mouths. Each one had one story or another of how someone had wronged them or broken a rules or whatever else. I shut it down right away and said its a new day, we won’t worry about those things, let’s just get breakfast going. Dekker and Laela ran to get the table set up while I changed Rowan’s diaper. Ro had a pretty rough evening yesterday, and we were kind of recapping what he needed to try to do differently today, but while that’s going on, Laela and Dekker began screaming at the top of their lungs.

I went to figure out what the deal was in the dining room, and it was (as usual) an argument over colors of dishes. I really wish Ikea would make those exact kids dishes but just in one color. Just one. Like a whole pack of yellow everything. It would just make my life so much easier, haha! So I stopped that and we all decided to be happy with the colors that we had. Screaming started back up again over the presence of a fly in our house, but once again, we just had to let it happen. Once everyone was settled and eating, I got up and went to tackle the dishes.

For whatever reason today, I just couldn’t get over myself. The dishes weren’t even that messy. A handful of usual dishes, plus pots and such from last nights supper were on the counters, in the sink, and on the island. Once I started handling it, everything with sticky and gooey and so smelly, and I just wasn’t handling it well. I also knew in the back of my mind I had to pull out chicken before it got too far into the morning so I could get supper into the crock pot on time. But the thought of handling chicken wasn’t especially appealing to me either, with my hands already covered in spoiled milk and congealed gravy. However, it had to be done. So I went to pull out the chicken and put it in the sink to thaw for a little bit. I burned through the dishes as fast as I could before going to the table and helping the little boys get their yogurt. Of course, with every step I took, I crushed Cheerios under my feet. I was just SO over the mess and grossness of my house, and I was in such a bad mood.

Dekker: Has this been a good start to your day, mommy, or a bad one?
Me: Its been a bit hard. Not bad, but a bit hard.
Dekker: Why has it been hard?
Me: I didn’t sleep very well, and then you guys were all angry at each other right away, and now our whole kitchen and dining room is messy. It feels like a lot of work to do when I’m tired. But its ok.
Dekker: Thats too bad. Maybe if I vacuumed, that would help?

This kid. He offered to help, which was so lovely. And he made good on it, too. When everyone had finished breakfast and cleared their dishes, Dekker pulled out the vacuum and got on it. I moved the chairs for him, but that was it! He did the rest all on his own.

Once the work was done, he put the vacuum away, and I put the table back together. Then, Laela invited the boys to join her in their room, and they hauled in a ton of books, and read stories for probably close to an hour. It. Was. Awesome.

Of course, I spent that hour on my butt, resting a bit and eating cereal. My chicken spent that hour “cooking” on the “keep warm” setting of my crock pot. Sigh. Can’t do it all, I suppose.

Thank goodness, we survived the morning, and lunch, and now half the gang is napping. I can’t figure out what to eat so I’ve got a small plate of baby carrots and ranch sitting beside me. The big kids are playing Lego and we’re taking it easy. Despite the rough start, I think its been a pretty nice morning.

It is mind-boggling to me that I’m 12 weeks, all of a sudden!! I love that my dates changed 🙂 It was a pretty serious upper from last week. Obviously, since then, I decided to shift the day that my I’m posting my series, but it feels so much more organized in my head this way. (Oh gosh, I wrote that it felt more organized in my heads. Sooo maybe I’m not as together as I thought!)

Shall we begin?

Comparison/Size: My baby is roughly the size of a toy soldier, though likely not as skinny or as green. According to the ultrasound, the baby was 4.13 cms, crown to rump. Even though the baby is small, it appears that they need a lot of extra room to move around, because guys, the bloat is ON! But I’m thankful for it, actually. Through my first trimester, I have been fairly consistently nauseous, but I’m actually strangely happy to report than I gained weight!! I don’t think I shared numbers or anything back in the day, but I will say I have gained four pounds from my first weigh in around 6 weeks until now. I started this pregnancy actually a bit under the weight I was aiming for, so I’m happy to have gained a bit, rather than losing a bunch thanks to the constant nausea. I feel very well taken care of in that way.

How am I feeling mentally: Honestly, I feel pretty good. Probably the best I’ve felt yet. I feel some good reassurance that the baby in my womb is growing and thriving. As Theo’s due date comes closer, I’m definitely feeling more sadness and mourning in my heart. But I have learned as the days roll on that I am capable of missing my precious Theo, and wanting him to still be with us, while I celebrate the new life that God is growing in my body, and anticipating another little person joining our family. I was trying to organize my thoughts a while back and someone had said something that had really cleared up how I was feeling. Long story short, she told me that option 1, having Theo, would’ve been amazing. Truly wonderful. He would’ve been a perfect addition to our family. But option 2, having the little papoose, will also be truly wonderful. I didn’t have to choose, and the outcome was completely out of my control. And while I LOVE baby Theo, I also LOVE this baby. So I’ve been able to sort my thoughts out a little bit again, and remember that losing Theo was so so hard, and I wish he could be here with us, but I have been fortunate enough to be given another little baby to carry and love on, for which I am very thankful. So honestly, emotionally, mentally, all the ways, I’m feeling pretty good. Pretty hopeful.

How am I feeling physically: Eh :/ Same old, same old. Still pretty nauseous, and actively on my medication. I had my first bout of crazy right leg pain the evening after our lake day, which I was a bit discouraged about. If you’ve been around here long enough, you know my right leg gives out on my pretty early in pregnancy, to a point where any amount of walking will suddenly leave my leg in so much pain, it can barely hold my weight. In my pregnancy with Solly, it got to the point of crawling to the bathroom in the night, or hopping on one leg. It was the closest I ever came to thinking I needed to ride the scooter through the grocery store because I just couldn’t walk it all. With the first bout of it having reared its ugly head so early, I think I’m going to head to my physiotherapist sooner than later and see what she can tell me and how I can cope through it. The right leg and pelvic pain are what make my pregnancies challenging, so if there is any way to curb at least some of that pain, I want to learn how!

Appointments: YES! You may have already read, but I had an ultrasound on Wednesday, and a prenatal on Thursday! I learned that my baby is measuring according to the original dates that I had come in with, so that bumped me a few days further ahead in my pregnancy, which was so exciting. The baby was so active, moving all of its limbs, bouncing around, etc. We heard later at my doctors appointment that everything looked right and clear and as it should. Beyond that, I got my physical and entered in all of our family history information. All the details are in order, and my new due date is on record. We picked out the student doctor who would be following us this time around, but we won’t actually see him until the fall. I’m fine with that 🙂 I love appointments with my doctor on her own when I can get them. The best! The most exciting part of last weeks appointment was hearing the heartbeat. A nice strong beat, hanging out in the 150-160 bpm zone. The baby was sitting higher up in my uterus higher than either of us were anticipating, which is why it took so long to find, but I’m so glad we did. Got it on video and everything! It was a great, encouraging appointment.

Buys/Wish List: I finally bit the bullet and ordered some shorts online the other day. Mine are just pinching and hurting and uncomfortable, and finally someone pointed out that the tight tight shorts are only going to make me more bloated, which is correct! So I’m rocking some really old, out of style bottoms while I wait for my new ones to arrive. I really hope they fit!! Would love to just have some comfy bottoms!

How are the kids feeling: They’re happy. Dekker is probably the most talkative about the baby. He mentions it pretty much daily, just wondering how big it is, what its name is, if its a boy or a girl, etc. The kids have also been consistently praying for the baby before bed, which I like a lot.

The BEST thing about being pregnant this week: I think its pretty obvious. The very best thing was our scan, and the reassurance gained from it. Seeing the baby so active and SO developed already was amazing. That scan showed us as slightly past 11 weeks. My last 11 week scan had revealed to us that our baby had died, and coming off of that, this one felt like our very first ultrasound for our very first baby. It was all so brand new and exciting. I cried. It was just awesome to see life growing in my body. Unbelievable. Miraculous, no matter which way you look at it. I’m so thankful.

Anything else: Ummmmm…I don’t think so. I think I’ll start a gender prediction tally soon 🙂 feel free to wager a guess in advance, but I understand wanting to give an educated guess as well 😉 I feel like I know which way the scale will be weighted though, haha! We shall see!

Pictures: First, some ultrasound photos. The best of the bunch. I love that my ultrasound place has gotten past only giving out one picture! I got eight this last time!!

You can see both of little papoose’s hands here!

A footy foot!!

And that bumpity bump again! Its getting round! 😳

Part of me is shocked to already be showing, but hey, I’m 12 weeks! So I’m actually really happy about it. I’m looking forward to being super noticeably pregnant so no one has to wonder 😉

This was just such an uplifting week for me. I feel like I’m in a better space than I have been leading up to this point. I hope it just keeps getting better and more encouraging and exciting. Oh and hey, if anyone wants to pray for something specific, please join me in prayer than the baby’s placenta implanted behind the baby. My last three babies have had their placenta on top of them, and it takes so much longer to feel movement when the baby has to kick through a big slab of meat, basically. I want to feel that movement as soon as possible, and gain that reassurance that comes along with it. I know it seems like a small thing, but it would do a serious favor for my heart. So if you want to pray for a detail, there’s a little one 🙂

I hope you all started off your work week right! Enjoy the sunshine and avoid the tornados! ☀️🌪️☀️