Towards the end of January, the 27th to be exact, I asked Brady if he wouldn’t mind me taking a bit of a break for the evening and just hiding out in our room for a bit. I hadn’t asked for one in a while considering we had JUST moved into our new home on the 13th, but I was feeling pretty impatient and ready for some letdown. He very willingly gave me the freedom to take a break, as he always has 💜 I went to our room, but it was still pretty loud, considering our room is a lot closer to the rest of the house than it used to be. I finally barricaded myself in our en suite to make a phone call. 

After a while, I heard Brady come into our room. He had the morsel with him and I could hear him doing some bedtime stuff. I heard him growling at the morsel, as you do when you’re a parent with a morsel who growls. After a little bit of time, I heard other kids come into our room, which isn’t uncommon. Sometimes tucking babies in becomes a family affair, because they’re cute and fun and a great excuse to stay up longer. 

At one point, a kid knocked on my door. Now, I love my children, but try as I might, they interrupt a LOT. Not great radars for that, try as I might to teach them otherwise. So when they know I’m on the phone and still interrupt, I tend to not respond, so they can hypothetically read the room. But the knocks persisted so I opened the door. There was Rowan, looking a little silly but perhaps a little unsure. 

“Whats wrong with dad?”

“How so? What do you mean?”

“He’s laying on the ground and he won’t answer me. And his arm is red.” 

It took about one second for me to end my call and get out of there, and there lay Brady on our bedroom floor, unresponsive. 

Barf. 

So everything I had learned in first aid went out the window for a second and I lifted his head. You’re not supposed to do that, but, c’est la vie, I did. He jolted awake and looked at me, very confused. It looked in his eyes like he didn’t recognize me. I spoke to him and called his name, and he fell back out of consciousness. I woke him back up and tried to ask him if he was ok. He would sort of nod or acknowledge me, but it was very slight and inconsistent. I asked him if he knew his name, and he nodded. I asked if he could say it and he nodded again. Lol! Twerp. So I instructed him to say it. 

“Brladrly…” 

It was NOT good. 

So needless to say, I called 911, thinking he had a stroke. 

The dispatcher was awesome, and worked quickly. Meanwhile, most of the kids had made their way up to our room, so it was absolutely bursting with activity. When the dispatcher said the first responders were coming, Rowan jumped up and went to unlock the front door and hit the lights. Laela just cried and cried and cried consistently, positively beside herself 💜 Poor girl. 

While I waited for first responders and paramedics to arrive, I was actively trying to keep Brady awake. Which I’m pretty sure is wrong, but also I don’t think it hurt anything. I’d smack his cheek and he would jolt awake and look at me with surprise. I told him he scared me, and he would SO INNOCENTLY apologize! Knowing what I knew about his brain mass, I said to him “I think you’re going to have brain surgery.” His eyes grew huge and he exclaimed “WHY?!” Hahaha! It was a pretty cute moment in the midst of the chaos. 

A beautiful thing about living in a small town where everybody knows everybody is that the first responders were ALL familiar. Oh the relief that came with seeing faces of people I already knew were truly invested in us. Nothing else quite like that. One of them came and eagerly whisked the kids away to the living room to read stories, hold babies, etc. They came armed with craft stuff and stuffies 💜 A solid way to their hearts for sure!

Brady was starting to come to a little bit more, and he answered the questions he could while I filled in the blanks. He couldn’t quite place the first responder he was talking to, but he easily recognized one of the others, and named her so sweetly and calmly. It was an oddly warm interaction even though it was so stinking scary. He passed all the right tests. No droop in his mouth. Strong voice. Decent recognition. Hand strength. All the things. 

The paramedics were not far behind at all, and they were SO kind as well. They took his vitals and Brady was able to sit up a bit more. We went through memories, to see if he could remember the events leading up to falling down, which he could to a point. Likely to the point where he seized. It was pretty clear pretty quickly that it wasn’t a stroke but a seizure. Felt a bit less scary, but I still definitely super hated it. 

With all of this, Brady hitched a ride in the ambulance to Saskatoon for the night. That was another first. 

Our neighbour came over as soon as the ambulance left and sat with me and the kids while we talked through the whole experience, and then helped me get kids down. It was really lovely of her 💜 

Brady ended up staying the night. He was back to himself, plus one new anti-seizure medication, and without his drivers license. Behold 🙌 the WORST part of this whole ordeal for Brady. 

But we’ll talk more about that later…

Good morning, friends! Today begins what I hope can be a week of posts informing you about all the steps leading up to this point, surgery day itself, and recovery thus far. I cannot promise, of course, because who knows what the week will hold and how we’ll fare. But! Thats the goal anyway! And I appreciate our friends who follow along and give us so much grace 💜

I’m going to start the week off with letting you know how we found out Brady had a mass in his brain, and how we managed some of that hardship.

Maybe you noticed, or maybe you didn’t, but I stopped updating everyone on Brady’s MRIs. The last one I talked about was MRI 10. It was clear, and we were content and kept on trucking!

MRI 11 came around in July of 2023, and it was Bradys annual top-to-bottom scan, rather than just of his spine. He went and had it done, and probably for the first time ever, we didn’t really even think about what the results were. We mostly forgot he had it done, and didn’t give it a second thought. Not only were we accustomed to easy, unremarkable results, but we had also began fostering maybe three-ish weeks prior, and our “easy” first placement had turned out to be pretty complex. Oh and we had recently listed our house for sale. Life was FULL.

But then Brady came home from work one day and texted me from the garage, asking me to come talk to him out there before he came into the house. He told me that our doctor had called on his drive home, and told him the results came back and they found a mass. We held each other and bawled in the garage, leaned up against the big freezer, our fears pouring out of our souls. It was a pretty brutal scene, to be honest. Immediate fears were obvious – Brady dying, and the ministry removing the morsel from our care. We cried and prayed, wiped our faces, and then as planned, we loaded up all six children and went to the city to buy shoes for school. Barf.

The appointments started shortly thereafter, with our family doctor, Bradys oncologist, neurosurgeon, as well as our insurance provider. It got pretty businessy for a bit there, while we tried to get real answers for things, have realistic expectations, and make any kind of plan that felt possible.

Bradys 11th MRI was followed by a 12th, 13th, 14th, and 15th as we kept an eye on things, roughly every 6-8 weeks. We knew we hated having that mass in there, but we also knew that no one wants to have brain surgery if they don’t need it. Our surgeon felt the exact same way. We were all happy to watch and wait for at least a little while. Over those months, absolutely nothing changed about the mass. Not in size or shape or even chemical compound. No part of the mass was ever meatier than the other, or thicker or thinner, or more or less vascular. It was just 🤷🏼‍♀️ there.

Which made it easier-ish to keep on looking forward. We didn’t want it to run our lives or hang a dark cloud anywhere it didn’t belong. So we told only our closest people, and then we kept on living!

It was a rough start to summer, but a beautiful season to follow.

For the rest of 2023, things were smooth, and with ongoing follow-up scans, nothing really changed.

Uuuuuntil they did.

More tomorrow 💜

I think it is pretty obvious that Hailey would not be writing a blog trying to promote her size as being a good suitor for new best friends. That would be pretty funny though. It’s me, Cher!

I just wanted to make some solid points about why having a thin best friend makes life better– for both of us.

First, parking! 

When fitting into a parking space, Hailey is able to give me three times more room on my side than on her side. Don’t fear! It looks like she won’t be able to get out without sucking in and pivoting sideways, but she actually has extra room and she can use it to carry my fries!

Second, meals!

Have you ever shared a meal with someone who can’t finish? One person eats less than the other person in one sitting, and someone needs to help them, or it feels like a waste of money?? Well friends, Hailey CAN finish your sub for you even if she just finished a footlong with chips. Thank goodness for her! 

This brings us to the end of Part 1

I’m truly sorry I don’t have the gumption to write out long detailed posts of all the gritty details. I have goals, the timelines on those goals have just shifted a little.

Here are some small victories I can share with you about Brady in his recovery!

Yesterday, Brady was moved from an observation room into a much nicer room with fewer people and a bathroom. I think its still considered an observation to an extent, but no staff are posted in it. It seems like a middle ground between observation and standard patient care!

When he was moved, a few things happened. A PT/OT team came up to help him “try” to get into his wheelchair, which came very easy. They actually laughed and said he clearly doesn’t need them. They left thanking him for humouring them, lol! It felt good.

Also when Brady was moved, the decision was made to leave his IV unhooked. He had started to be allowed to drink liquids and they decided to trust him to stay hydrated enough on his own. And he has!

This morning, before I got to the hospital to see him, he told me they decided to remove his catheter. This is REALLY wonderful, because as you may or may not remember, bathroom stuff is somewhat different and a lot more vulnerable for paraplegics, and frankly, anyone with nerve damage. So the fact that Brady can manage his bathroom stuff makes it extra sucky when he isn’t really allowed to. So today, the catheter came out and the man could pee in a toilet again! Victory!!

My favorite one! Bradys brain drain is out!! That is SO wonderful, not only because it was super gross, haha! But also because it means all the active bleeding has stopped! Praise the Lord!!

Top three questions!

How is Brady doing? He’s pretty good. Very tired. He’s having to stay on top of his meds pretty closely to manage the headache, but he is managing it. He is feeling more himself each day.

Is it cancer? No one knows yet. Pathology is a few weeks out, and there will be follow up scans to see if they got it all or not.

When is he coming home? Probably not too far from now, honestly! The general belief is just a few days! Which seems a bit crazy, but if all thats left is resting up, who wouldn’t rather do that at home?! So. Hopefully early this next week 🤞

Today, while we visited, we sipped Tims coffee and ate some puffed wheat squares that our neighbour had baked for us 💜 We turned on a little Netflix and both ended up dozing off. It felt SO comfy and normal. Goodness I miss that man.

Come home soon, Brady 💜 You are dearly loved.

It is so late. I am so tired. Everyone in our corner over here is so so tired.

So is Brady 💜 He is tired, but he is alive and doing well.

I want to share more with you, but tonight is not the night. I am far too spent from the days events. But I can say is this. Brady is more awake and lucid today, and his pain is there but it’s managed. No surprises or scares during his surgery. His surgeon said, and I quote “it couldn’t have gone better.” That’s really what you want to hear post brain surgery.

As I said, I will share more tomorrow. First, I need to tuck in for the night, and hope that both of my babies are able/willing to sleep during the night. If you’ve already had prayers going up for us, if you could add sleeping to that list, I’d be very grateful. A certain little lemon drop does not love the nighttime as much as I do.

Thank you for your overwhelming support, friends 💜 More tomorrow.

🧠

He is in.

Under the Lords watchful eye and the capable hands of many incredible professional caregivers.

Now we wait.

I find the age of five to be quite fascinating because five year olds say whatever they think without worrying about being judged.

It’s an innocence and ignorance that does not last long enough in human beings, in my opinion.

As Waverly’s honorary auntie, I have the privilege of witnessing the beautiful nature of the five year old.

I have three cats and she knows their names pretty well now, but she can sometimes feel unsure. In those cases,

she refers to them as “Pheobe or Boston.” My third cat’s name is Ginny, whom she calls Jimmy and I will never correct her on that.

Today while she was playing barbies at my house, Boston came up to her to watch her play. He doesn’t normally do that because

he is still very young and unsure of other humans, especially kids. 

I was sipping a coffee under the loft where I usually begin the days she is over listening to very strange and entertaining dilemmas between

barbies. That’s when I heard her say, “Hey Boston! Awe Bosto-BOSTON WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? I DIDN’T KNOW CATS COULD SIT!!!!”

I almost choked. Just the thought of her not knowing cats could sit made my day. Moment’s later two cats run past her and down the stairs,

I hear her call after them, “PHEOBE OR BOSTON, WHOEVER YOU ARE, SIT!! ….*sigh* all these animals and no one listens to me.”

One last thing that really made me laugh today was her songs. She had a full on musical going “and we can’t talk to strangers, but I knowwwww

I’m not a stranger. I’m Ariel” Then, she interrupted herself because a plague of terrible tattoo artists who COULD NOT SPELL were tattooing

pictures of sticks on people! (By the way no one in her family has tattoos, and neither does anyone in my family so I don’t know how this came up)

Oh man. There is never a dull moment. I hope one day this girl writes comedies. 

Have a great day! 

After yesterday’s post, we are overwhelmed and humbled by the outpouring of love and support. Thank you, friends, for showing up for us time and time again 💜 Please believe me that we wouldn’t do any of this messy stuff if we could at all avoid it! 😅 It is fun for no one.

A few more things I can tell you about Bradys tumour are as follows.

The tumour can be found in Brady’s right temporal lobe. Right above his ear, we’re told.

It’s about 2cm in diameter. I want to say 2 cm squared, but its not a square, so that feels wrong. The size seems small, but when you look at it as almost an inch, and in his brain, not along his back, it feels larger.

It has not changed in the eight ish months we’ve known about it. Not even the chemical compounds that make it up have changed.

It is not behaving like a standard tumour. Every angle and every surface is exactly the same. No parks are thicker, thinner, more or less vascular, etc. So many unanswered questions we’re excited to have answered. Well. Excited is a strong word…

We named Bradys tumour Declan. But thats probably a story for another day.

That’s pretty much it for the little details. Shows just how much we don’t know about whats going on in there. But we will know soon.

Tomorrow Tumourrow is the starting point already. Brady will be admitted. He’ll begin fasting. He’ll have an MRS. Thats a fancy pants MRI that specifically zeros in on chemical compounds of masses. And he’ll start an infusion of a newer medication that claims to illuminate gliomas or other brain masses in a way that literally makes it glow under white surgical light!! This aids the surgeon in getting absolutely every last speck! Technology is so cool.

Unsurprisingly, I may throw a guest post up tomorrow. Cher lovingly wrote me a really cute one, and I’d like to be incredibly present tomorrow.

Meanwhile, please continue to carry us in prayer 💜 I know so many of you are already. The comfort in knowing I could call out for just about anything and know someone would come running brings huge peace to my heart. Meals start arriving on Friday, which is wild and SO appreciated. It is amazing to have so many willing, loving hearts around us. Thank you, all.

If Christ is for us, who can be against us?

Christ is FOR us!!! 💜 Thank you Lord!

Well, friends. Today we begin a new blog series, and it’s a doozy. But it is time to share it with those who follow us and invest in our lives, and that is many of you people 💜 As if the last three years haven’t carried enough change and challenge with them, we are coming into yet another season of indescribable uncertainty.

So let’s just get into it, shall we?

Brady is having brain surgery on Thursday.

I know there is more to explain. There is obviously more to it. My mental energy is not so good today, but I’ll give you the little details.

Brady grew a mass in his brain.

It sat unchanged for a good while.

It prompted a seizure a couple months back.

We decided with our surgeon to (in his own words) whack it out.

And today – March 18th – we got the surgery date – March 21st. Admitted on March 20th.

That’s in two days.

There is a LOT more to all of this, and I’d like to be able to make some posts on the subject, but I am not putting a concrete date on them, for obvious reasons.

As far as speculating goes, this go-round should be simpler than the last one. Shorter. Less terrifying. Faster healing. Only God knows how it will turn out, but we have every confidence that His hand is in it, and He will be guiding our capable surgeons hands as he operates on Brady’s brain.

I’m sure you can guess how hard its been to (ready?) wrap our brains around all of this. Its brought a lot of (ready?) nerves forward. And now, its all coming to (ready?) a head.

We are praying for peace that passes all understanding. For confidence in Christ as our faith is tested in one of the most frightening ways we can imagine.

Thank you for carrying us in prayer, friends 💜

It happened!! Finally!

The lemon drop slept! So Brady and I slept!!!

In fact, the lemon drop slept in its bed!!! So Brady and I both slept in our bed!!!

We still woke up pretty consistently to give bottles and change wet diapers, but thats regular baby stuff and feels perfectly appropriate! Which is the goal we all share over here!!! Regular, reasonable baby stuff!!

Thanks to a few hours of real sleep last night, the family was able to get up and make it to church! ALL of us!! Believe you me, that lemon drop of ours was very popular this morning, and we only got out of there around 1:00pm, but it was a really lovely time, and the rest of the day moved slowly and relaxedly, with some guitar in the background and even a little crocheting.

Dare I say, today felt like a *gasp* normal day. And it was nice!

Tomorrow begins another rowdy week, with two appointments on the books, the schedule having been complicated by yet another compressed school day. It’s all organized and we’ll make it work, of course, as we do each and every unpredictable day we face!

Thank goodness we have the Lord! How we would survive without faith in God, I couldn’t tell you 💜