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That Whole Mole Thing

I felt weird writing about my dermatologist appointment earlier this week. I don’t want to gross anyone out! But I had some nice support from a good handful of you guys, and I do want to record it! So, here’s your warning! Mole removal details below! Click out now if you don’t want to hear about it! No love lost on my part!

*****

My appointment was today at 8:30am. If you’re from around here at all, you know its BRUTALLY cold out today. -41C, feels like -50C with wind. SO. COLD. My mom had graciously offered to drive me to my appointment, for me to have some support and company, and to leave the van with Brady so he could take the kids to school. Who knew how necessary that would be?? She showed up, true to her word, at 7:45am. I ran out to meet her and we shivered together for a few seconds before driving to the city.

I wonder if they’ll even need to freeze my face. It might already be frozen…

My previous consultation had been at 10:10, and the streets were FULL! But this early, around 8:10 in the morning, it was dead quiet. We parked on the street, directly beside the building. Paid parking wasn’t even in effect until 9:00! Mom and I ran into the building and tried the door to the office. Locked. They weren’t even open yet! We sat on a little bench in the lobby for ten minutes before I tried the door again, and sure enough, it was open!

I checked in, and we chatted a bit with the receptionist about the cold. Mom said she would wait for me to go in, and then after a while, she figured she’d go wait in the car so it would be warmed up. (Yes, it is that cold.) I was called back within a couple of minutes. I was settled in the procedure room for less time than it took to take a selfie, so this “before” picture will have to do.

Yes, its filtered and fussed with. Its my blog insta pic. Don’t judge. The mole itself shows. Part of it is brown, and the part of it that is the color of my skin is the part thats grown with scar tissue from breaking open time and time again.

The doctor came in and reminded me of what we were doing, and I signed a consent form. We had a very brief chat about the weather, and then she invited me to come sit up in the big chair.

So here’s the thing. I knew the whole thing was going to be quick and simple and suuuper standard. But I was nervous! My mole was in kind of a tricky area on my face, and she had noted that it had a lot of vessels so it had the potential to bleed a lot. Hence the plan to cauterize it. I think my biggest worry was actually that it would get super bloody and I’d feel it run past the freezing and across my face, down my neck, or something like that. I wasn’t scared there would be a problem, but I was nervous for something super gross to happen. I don’t know. But I had worked myself up a bit. I was reassuring myself that there would likely be a second person, an assistant of some kind, helping catch the mess, hold my nose wherever it needed to be held, etc. But there wasn’t, and that made me more nervous. Was I going to bleed out from a hole in my face??

The first part was the worst. That freezing needle in such a tender area just sucked. But she was apologetic and calm, and in an obvious method of distraction, started asking me about my kids. She herself is pregnant with her second, and asked about how many I had, number of boys and girls, etc. Seconds after the needle was out, she wiped it off again and said “Alright…”

“Oh wow, just getting right to it, huh?” I asked.
“Ha! Ya, the freezing kicks in pretty quick!” she said, and off she went.

Sooooo there was some gentle sawing (anyone barfing yet?) and she simply blotted it with a folded piece of gauze a couple of times. I didn’t feel any pain!

The cauterizing was pretty gross, I won’t lie. She warned me that it would wreak, and she was right. Burning flesh directly under your nose. Its obvious it would smell. One little burn blast either got away from her or got right on the edge of where my freezing stopped, and I jumped!! She apologized profusely, and I apologized right back for moving so much. We had a little laugh about our Canadianness and excessive apologizing before I settled back down and she zapped the spot a few more times. And it was done!

She warned me that it might look like she put a cigarette out on me 😆 She’s not wrong. Up close, it looks pretty black and crunchy. But from a bit of a distance, it doesn’t look all that different!

I used to have a little brown spot there, and now I have a little black spot. And soon, the little black spot will fall off and the spot will heal and it’ll just be skin! I’m SO happy to have it over and done with!

I left the procedure room, and my mom hadn’t even had a chance to go back out to the car! I was in there for maybe ten minutes.

This was all about four hours ago now. All the freezing is gone, and I feel maybe a teeny bit of soreness. It was sore as the freezing wore off, but it feels better now. We’ll see how it progresses but I don’t anticipate a problem.

I’m SO relieved! Such a simple fix for something that’s bothered me for a nice long while.

When We Run Out of Milk

There is no way around it. When we run out of milk, we know its time for a grocery shop. Its been SO cold recently, and we’ve been doing a good job at stretching the food we have, so we have put off a good solid grocery shop for maybe two weeks or so. Costco, anyway. I ducked to Coop recently to buy a bit of milk to hold us over, but its not just milk. We have our staples that we burn through, and we were getting lower and lower on the items that we eat every single day.

One day I should do a grocery post and actually show you what we buy to really stock up, but that’s just not happening today! Lol!

First, before we even went for groceries, we hit Home Depot. We returned a few things we had purchased and ended up not needing. We bought a couple of breakers that we were missing. We looked for a laundry sink and had no success. It was dead quiet in there! Anyway, we were in and out of there pretty quickly, as Brady very recently did a bit of a Home Depot haul and got most of what we need to do our part in our basement this week.

We stopped by Safeway on our way to Costco to grab our creamer. We are NO brand name snobs or super picky eaters, but we will not sacrifice our creamer, and Costco doesn’t have it, and we weren’t hitting Superstore today. But then off to Costco.

We looked once again for a laundry sink but they didn’t have the one we really wanted to see. Must just be online for now. We’ll keep looking. From there, we stocked up on bakery stuff, and tons of fruit and veggies. (I so often joke about needing to start buying things by the case. Is there anywhere that people can actually do that nearby? Because we’re basically there…) We grabbed our ton of milk, our few frozen things, some cheese and packaged meats, and only a few aisle things. I always feel so good when the bulk of what we buy isn’t from the aisles. I wasn’t embarrassed unloading our cart, haha! Do you even feel embarrassed by your groceries? I TOTALLY do! Especially if we’re catching a deal somewhere so we, for instance, just buy pringles, or margarine, or something crappy like that. Lol! I SWEAR we eat healthy food, too!!

She was so foofy and pink today!

We grabbed some Tim’s on our way home, and I finalized a quote for taping our basement, hopefully to begin shortly! They have a flexible schedule, and we just have to finish up our few last things! Eek! Its finally happening!!!

Time for lunch and a bit of a rest before its time to get the monkeys from school! We have an extra one today so I anticipate an extra rowdy stretch between school and supper, as thats what tends to happen when friends come over 🙂

Aaaaand Bachelor night tonight. I want to say I don’t care, but I really do. Sigh. I’m so embarrassed. But at least it wasn’t the fault of my groceries today.

How Stuff Gets Done

We’re trying to keep momentum going on the basement, so Brady has been spending time working down there most every weekday afternoon. We made a list of all we can do before the big things like drywall need to start.

Today, he’s been working on central vac stuff. The stretch of time after school and before supper tends to be our “witching hour” so he often takes the kids down with him. That way, they’re occupied and happy, time moves a little quicker, and I can be upstairs and get the blog up!

Except that a certain little Miss woke up early and isn’t feeling especially patient with my this afternoon. So this is how I’m getting stuff done today.

She’s playing with a bag of wipes. Or more realistically, she’s eating a bag of wipes. But hey, she’s happy that it makes sound and she’s getting some good tummy time in, so I’m not complaining! She is a little, but its holding her off for a bit anyway.

So I have the baby, and Brady has the others.

This is usually how stuff goes down around here. I’m so thrilled that our kids are capable of being in a bit of a work zone without getting into much mischief! They love to see the progress and “help” Brady with little jobs all around. Its true that the basement would probably be done faster if I just kept them upstairs with me, but they are enjoying it SO much, they’re learning from it, and its still progressing. So we’re happy 🙂

Wish us luck! If we buckle down, we could be done this next stuff pretty quick if we keep moving! Yet our time seems to fill SO fast. We have at least one commitment every day this week! Lots of them are great, and all of them are necessary, but man its full! I’d for sure like to have all these little things accomplished by the end of February, and its completely doable! We just need to keep disciplined.!

Dermatologist Consultation: January 24

I drove our freshly repaired van through the freezing cold morning to my appointment. I was pretty nervous about breaking down, but I didn’t, thank goodness. Traffic was heavy right downtown, and parking was nuts. I parked in the nearby mall parking lot and ran to my appointment. I was about a half hour early, but I just didn’t know what it would be like. I had never been to this kind of appointment, and I’ve never hung out right downtown first thing in the morning. 

Thankfully, the door to the office I needed was the closest door to where I was. I checked in, and spoke to a receptionist who was very polite but super robotic. I spent the next twenty-ish minutes listening to her repeat the exact same things to more patients, down to the exact same emphasis on the exact same syllables. It was entertaining at least. 

Patients were coming in and out super quickly, which made me feel relieved, like it would be quick, but also a little bit nervous I would be rushed or that the doctor would be super brief. 

Lucky for me, it went so smoothly. I waited in an exam room for about ten minutes before my doctor came in and introduced herself. She read my referral and we discussed why I was there. The mole under my nose has become a pretty solid nuisance. If its dry with winter, and I blow my nose, it bleeds. A LOT. It hurts. And with all the bleeding, there’s scar tissue, so its growing. I don’t think its necessarily a risk of cancer or anything, but she agreed that it was very reasonable of me to want it gone. She surprised me by saying “We’ll book a removal in the next couple of weeks.” 

I was outwardly surprised and said I had assumed I’d be waiting more like a year for this, and she laughed and said no, she was heading out on maternity leave soon and wanted to get it done herself. Boom! Done!

We booked it for the first week of February. Not so far away at all! Long enough that I can mentally prepare but not so far ahead that its going to sneak up on me and make me panic. Its early enough in the day, too, that I won’t have time to worry myself sick over it. Just wake up and go!

If you don’t want gory details, now’s the time to skip ahead!!

*****

She told me that she didn’t think it looked like a risky mole, and given the area, she said it would be better cosmetically to kind of “shave” it off rather than dig in and cut it out. She said she can see it has lots of vessels, hence why it bleeds so much, so she said she’ll take it off and cauterize the area. I’ll have a red sore spot there for a week or two, she said, but no stitches and no obvious pinching/deformation of my face. She did say there’s a slightly higher risk it could grow back this way, but thats not a scary thing. If it comes back and does the exact same thing over time, we can try it a different way, but she and I agreed that this made the most sense for now. I’m really happy with this decision! Of course, I’m confident she’ll send it away and if it comes back as anything concerning, I’m sure we’ll go back and remove it from deeper in. But I’m not going there in my head.

*****

I’m nervous, but I’m not. I’m so ready to get rid of this thing and not have to worry about scratching it or drying it out, or even something simple yet annoying like having a zit grow all up against it. Its going to feel so much better. Very very soon!!

This week is already filling up like crazy, and I’m both excited and nervous for this to all go down in a few days! Wish me luck!

Seven Months of Waverly

How is this little miss ALREADY seven months old??? She’s practically a toddler! A toddler with a LOT of personality today!

Seriously though, she’s not actually that much bigger, haha! Wavy has actually lost 2 oz this month, putting her at 18 lbs 11 oz. We can thank the teething pain for her minimal weight gain, I suppose. The fact that she gained over two pounds last month helps a little.

She did manage to move up a size. She mostly wears 9 month stuff now, except pants, because my kids are always behind in pants. (Ha! Behind in pants. Butt joke.) We’re also finishing up the size 2 diapers and are MORE than ready to put her in 3s! We were given a box of size 3 diapers as a baby gift back in summer, so we’ll finally get to crack those out! I’m happy her diapers will catch everything again, but I will miss the little side of her butt cheek sticking out, haha! Hopefully she keeps bulking up. She’s started showing little signs of reflux the way the little boys did, but without the spitting up, so I’m hoping its just an odd stage that she outgrows and that she drinks her milk better soon. She rarely finishes her six ounce bottle anymore. I think I’m going to book her for a doctors appointment in the near future, just to make sure she’s still growing the way she should be. I love my doctors. Their “all clear” goes a long way for my mama heart. 

Accomplishments for Waverly! She’s popped her two top teeth!

You can just see them here!

I shouldn’t say “popped.” Those things are plenty out already. But as you’ve heard, there was no relief, because she went straight to working on the ones next to those. No rest for the teething, I suppose! No rest for her parents either, but I’ll get back to that. She’s also done a lot more eating this month. Potatoes, bananas, green beans, broccoli, etc. She’s SUPER grabby for food, and bites me a lot as I try to sneak something into her mouth. A heavy favourite of hers is puffs. Peach puffs. She’s a fan. The most notable thing I’ll record as far as milestones go is that she sometimes says HI!!! I’ve never had a baby even try to talk so young, and at first I thought it was a fluke, but I’m pretty sure she knows what she’s doing at least some of the time! She babbles a lot, but the other day I greeted her in an obnoxious, over the top three syllable version of hiyeeee! And she mimicked it, down to my inflections. Smartie pants. She waves too 🙂 Just sometimes, but its starting. 

As for Waverly’s schedule, she usually sleeps in in the morning, and naps after lunch. We try and stretch her day after that and keep her up until nighttime around 7pm, but its not a perfect system with her teething. But its getting there. We had a few nights in the recent past where she’s had us up every two hours like a newborn. SO TIRED. 

New section to Wavy’s monthly posts! Wavy’s favourite things. Like Oprah, but better.

Wavy loves to sit in her high chair. She can see everybody from there, and they love to bring her the  toys she drops/throws. Wavy loves her little silicone coffee mug chewelry thing. Easily her current favourite toy. She likes to chew the metal snap. (FACE PALM) Wavy loves to be wrestled a bit now.

There’s those teeth!!

That means being hung upside down, being plunked and bounced on the bed, or being ever so lightly tossed in the air. Lastly, Wavy loves being naked. As often as possible. I like to squeeze her little rolls and chubby legs. She likes it too. 

Praise the Lord for seven months with Waverly!

All the February Feels

I’m sure you’ve seen all over Facebook and everywhere else, the jokes about how long January felt. I saw one today somewhere that suggested January was simply our trial month. I support this idea! I don’t know why, but yes, January felt SO LONG! Bring on a new month!

While I’m not the biggest winter fan, I do have to compliment the season today. The snow is coming down, and it actually looks like winter. Its actually pretty! Sure, its bitterly cold and windy and icy and crappy out, but my goodness, it gets a point or two for being so pretty. 💙❄️

There could be worse things than being snowed in. Brady will have some time to get better. We’ll putter at our basement a little. Maybe a movie day tomorrow. Comfort food. All the good things.

Stay safe and warm, friends. Enjoy the beauty of winter!

I Think I Figured it Out: Why Turing 30 Was SO Difficult

I don’t want to beat a dead horse here. Its not really a secret that my birthday was a weird, hard time for me last summer. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, but everyone kept telling me it was so great, and how so little changed, and aaaaall the positive perspectives. And they were right, that life kept on moving, and I was really just another day older, and another and another.

However, as a person naturally does from time to time, I reflected on the past decade of my life. And I struggled really hard after that.

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS?!?!?!

I talked to a handful of people I love and trust about these feelings, and was reassured over and over that my years have been FULL. And in some ways, I’ve accomplished a lot in them! Clearly, I have five beautiful children! That alone is a full ten years, especially considering I’ve only been having kids for seven out of the ten years.

So I rabbit trailed from that thought, and felt like an IDIOT for feeling like I haven’t done anything with my life. Was I that ungrateful?! Was I that entitled?! I can’t be that awful!! How is that not enough for me??

For a few months after my birthday, I discovered I felt quite worthless. It wasn’t anyone’s fault except my own, but I felt SO unimportant. I pity partied a lot, and my loved ones never fell away from me, even though I was needy and hurting and super annoying. I have amazing people, as I so often say. There have been a few people in my recent past who have gone from my friends to strangers in a matter of minutes. Some were from misunderstandings. Some were from a general clash of personalities. Some, I couldn’t tell you why. They just disappeared. Thats caused me to question all kinds of things. How am I such an easy person to drop? Was I really that “nothing” to those people? But those people have made room for excellent people to come into my life and remind me what true friendship looks like. For that I am SO grateful.

I’ve been thirty for six months now, so some of the shock has worn off, and while I don’t feel like I’m in the thick of an identity crisis anymore, I can tell I definitely was in one, and I’m still coming back from it. Some of you have probably been reading this and thinking I’m all mixed up. I was, but I’m less mixed up now, I promise. I came up with a few conclusions.

Conclusion number one is that I am SO grateful for the children I have! I think the reason I struggle to see them as “accomplishments” is because they’re gifts! They’re my family! They’re what I’ve always wanted, so to have that feels like an enormous gift I’ve been given, not something I’ve in some way worked for or “earned.” People have told me lots that I deserved Waverly after all of our sorrows the year before. But no one “deserves” children, or anything else, really. Thats just my opinion, but I’m confident in it for me and my family.

Conclusion number two is that ambition can take on all different forms. Some people go to university for 10+ years and live their dream doing what they love! I’m living my dream, also doing what I love, but I didn’t go to school for it. Having children and raising them with a deeper, stronger love than I knew existed is an enormous responsibility, and I’d say it requires serious ambition. And its ambition I have! Ambition can wear sweat pants and a messy bun and still get a ton done! It can still love and guide its children in a super powerful way! It can still praise and worship Jesus and share with the world the good news! It just might look different than traditional ambition the way you think of it, or the way I’ve thought of it.

Conclusion number three is the most important one. You’re probably all thinking it. ITS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE BUT ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. I think this is truly where my struggle was rooted sixish months ago. I didn’t stop loving myself, but I forgot why I did. I knew my titles – wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I knew I was decently ok at some of those, and hopefully pretty great at a few. But I wanted to make sure I felt good with myself, body and soul. Like, the bones, haha! People can look at an old beater house and say “but the bones are good” and you know its structurally sound. I didn’t remember if my bones were good or not.

Guys. I think they are. They’re not perfect, obviously, but not even the newest of bones are without flaws and in need of occasional repair, am I right?

This brings me to my “resolution” for this year. You guys know I keep these suckers super vague every year, and this year is no different. In fact, I’d say its more vague than usual. My word of the year is “searching.” All those things that we all know we should do but don’t wanna do – I’m going to start doing those things. Super low pressure, though. None of this business of trying to do something every single day. Its just not feasible. The goal is to keep the “bones” strong. That means making better food choices, better financial choices, being active more often, going to church more often, getting involved in things that take extra work without making excuses. It won’t be everything, and it won’t be always, but this girl needs to remember what is actually important, and nurture those things. Please, friends, stand by me as I try. Its not going to perfect, but the longing is there. I’m in constant search mode.

***

I wrote things from an emotional place, and I’m not going to re-read and nitpick over it for fear that I’ll mess it up further, or just chicken out from posting it altogether. So if I’ve worded anything wrong, please take it with a grain of salt and know my motives are pure and honest.

Too Cold to Get Out

Today was back to school for Dekker, but the rest of us were planning to stay home. However, with Brady being home these days, and handy, the church has hired him to do a little bit of finishing work around there. So rather than hiding out at home all morning, the kids and I bundled up and joined Brady on a trip to the city to buy materials. Brady was the only one who actually left the van, but the rest of us listened to music and chatted and got a change of scenery at least.

Picking up materials brought us to four different places, but it was nice to spend the time together! I’m so thankful for my chill group of kids who are happy to sit and wait a bit.

Laela is wearing her toque (backwards, of course) with Waverly’s toque stacked on top. #vogue
Lol

We took our time, and made it home right around lunch. Brady got the three kids lunch, and I took Waverly upstairs for a bottle. She’s the worst for drinking her milk if she feels AT ALL uncomfortable, so we try and feed her in the quietest, more restful distraction-free zone. Didn’t work, though :/ Kid barely drank anything. But hey. I tried.

Now that the kids are napping, Brady is off to the church to get started on his work there. Jerilee will come for the evening, for some Bachelor and appies! The perfect way to wind up a frigid winter day. Have you guys noticed that we’re getting extra sunlight again these days?!? I’m just ITCHING for Spring!! But this stretch of winter tends to be the most unpredictable, so who knows what’s coming.

Let’s Get Caught Up: Pic Dump

Sometimes I find myself with a bunch of cute pictures on my phone that don’t carry enough of a story to be a post on their own, but I don’t want them to get lost either. So that’s how I end up with a bit of a scattered “catch up” post like this one!

Laela made me a crown at school 🙂 Ok, she actually made it for herself, but it didn’t fit. Works for me!

Rowans hair has reached his waist! When its wet, anyway. It definitely shorter when its dry, but when its freshly washed and brushed right down, its at his pants! CRAZY!

I bought a curling wand the other day. It literally takes just as long to curl as it does to straighten, and I like this way more. Except I keep burning my hands!! My gosh, does anyone else have flashbacks of having their foreheads burned as a child when getting their bangs curled?? Tell me its not just me! Lol!

I’ve started harassing Dekker while he does his reading after school. Not in a bad way, but in a way where its more fun, and he’s less concerned with how long it takes. While Dekker reads just fine, its not his thing. I feel with him on that, as I never really cared to waste the day away snuggled up with a book like so many of my friends did. So I tease him and snuggle him and time is less of a worry. I love it.

Wavy cut her top teeth a little while ago, but didn’t show any signs of relief. I took this VERY flattering picture of her (😂) and saw that the teeth right next to them are working hard and fast! No break for her! At least she still looks super cute!

Apparently this perogie looks like a puppy. Just go with it.

When Brady is home and the kids are napping, sometimes we like to tuck into bed and binge watch whatever show we’re working on. These days, its Parks and Recreation. Wavy joined us the other day.

She joins us for everything these days… 😳

I got some special snuggles in with this boy while we watched music videos before bed yesterday. He’s since offered for me to snuggle with him many, many times. I accept.

We’re so so sad about Beard Guy here 😔 I can’t believe he passed away. Neither can Solly.

I saw this online today! I can dream about this kind of thing, haha! If only we could somehow cater to everyone’s specific situation, hey?

The last one is from this morning. I hung out upstairs with Wavy while Brady and the kids went downstairs to “work.” I should clarify, Brady actually worked, haha! These little divas wandered the basement with their pencils and tape measures and dollies and paint rollers, haha! Safety first, right guys?
Meanwhile, Brady sealed off the longest wall with plastic! Only one more smaller wall left before thats DONE! A few other little things left before we can start on drywall! SO ready!

I also recently registered for another craft retreat this spring, so I’m already SUPER looking forward to that!

February brings our anniversary! A long time ago, we decided to go somewhere hot for this anniversary, but it just wasn’t in the cards, and thats ok 😊 I think we’ll try to plan a date at least, and maaaybe even get away for a night in March when Marianas Trench comes to Regina!

I think you’re all officially caught up on everything that’s even remotely going on around here! Any questions? Anything you want to know about or want to see on here? I’m trying to actually plan intentional posts for February so if you want to see something specifically, speak now!

Last Week vs This Week

Brady was home last week, if you had missed it. We began the week with nothing on our plate, and WOW! That week was unceasingly busy! Hahaha! It was kind of great, because Brady feels a little crazy when unproductive. And he did TONS last week!

This week is another week of Brady being home, and he kicked the week of yesterday by getting a cold!! Poor boy. He’s already a little off his game. He may have accidentally drank my coffee instead of his own…

This morning, we sat down together and looked at the calendar and sure enough, the week was pretty open! In the last two hours, we’ve already added a few things to it, and I’m sure that will continue to happen. I hope that Brady gets a bit more of a restful week, however, so he can recover from his cold and keep on keeping on!

So wish us all luck! Last night was one of those special ones where I woke up in the middle of the night to my husband mouth breathing directly into my face from mere inches away, sooooo its possible I’m not far behind in the business of colds. And with the kids not having school tomorrow (weird, right?) we all have the pleasure of being trapped inside all day together, stewing in each others sickness. Does it have to be SO cold tomorrow?? Yikes yikes yikes!