We didn’t go to the lake this weekend. We stayed back for Rowan’s first ever soccer tournament!!

I know. Kids in sports. 🙄

I tease. Sort of…

We spent the day in Warman, watching games and killing time in between. We were all a little bit surprised that the games were half of their regular length, but such is life! Time moves quick when you have eight kids to unload and pack up every time! Well, not every time. Cher and my mom also joined, and they took two home after the first game. Even so, it was impossible to get everyone photographed together. I am SO grateful that Cher even tried!! 💜

Cher and my mom both took pictures on our behalf in an effort to let us be as present as possible 💜 Both even took a turn with the lemon drop, who never 👏 stops 👏 crying 😅😩 Goodness, I am SO grateful for both of those roles so I could just sip coffee and cheer from under a blanket! There was much cheering to do!!! Unfortunately, I can’t post pictures that contain other peoples’ children, so there are fewer action shots or team shots than I’d ideally post, but you’ll just have to take my word for it that it was very cute.

The first game was freezing, but had a great turnout. Everyone played hard and happily. Rowan is such a strong defenseman.

After game one, mom and Cher left, and took Wavy and the lemon drop with them. Wavy had a birthday party to attend, and the lemon drop needed to be out of the wind. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

We all loaded back up into the van to warm up and have some snacks. The soccer star got to choose the snacks we brought, so apple slices and pepperoni sticks were enjoyed by all!

Brady went inside and grabbed some hinges and things we need for some small repairs, and we headed back for another game.

It was fun to watch the kids get cheered on. If you go watch a kids sporting event, speak up! Be loud! It is SO fun to see them get pumped up! Rowan would get the ball, and he’d hear “GO ROWAN!” and his whole demeanour would change! It was AWESOME!

Between games two and three, we got lunch. Soccer star chose McDonalds, so we did that. And we waited forever, because our order is always massive, even when we’re down a couple of kids. The lemon drop doesn’t eat real food yet so really, we were just down Wavy, but the other two babies eat now, sooooo it evens out.

Game three had the most beautiful weather. The morsel was freed from the bike trailer, and crawled around beside the field so happily. Some cute entertainment on and off the field! I only wish I could show you those pictures, but alas, another cute one of Rowan will have to do.

It was a good tournament. The kids had a great hustle. They really worked, and didn’t get discouraged when they didn’t win everything. Still, everyone felt like a winner at the end.

That smug mug tho 🙌😍 It doesn’t show that the last few days have been some of his hardest maybe ever. This boy has stretched and persevered more than a child his age should have to, and he still spent the day running, competing, and rocking a beautiful attitude. We could all take a page out of his book. That chapter, anyway 😅

I love you, Rowan Toby 💜 Through thick and thin, my boy. I am incredibly proud of you and all you’ve come through, and all that you’re still working through. Its not about how many goals you score or how fast you run. I love your heart, and that sucker is gold 🏅

The innocence of this test from Laela’s health class could not possibly warm my heart any more than it already has.

Laela’s fascination with puberty cracks me right up, hahahaha! She has nooooo idea whats to come, but I hope we can giggle someday about how eagerly she anticipated it. For now, I want her to just stay little and not be a grownup quite yet.

I imagine it’ll all be here before I know it 💜

Cher here!

Since Wavy has been coming to my house she has become really familiar with everything. So much so that what’s mine is hers, in the cutest fashion. 

The other day we were outside blowing bubbles in the wind because we didn’t have to work that hard for it. Eventually she found my bright pink sunglasses on the deck, put them on, and called them hers. I had to remind her that they were also mine. I laughed so hard. That girl wants sunglasses at my house SO BADLY!

After that, I heard from Hailey that her mom was over. This was exciting because I had a super early birthday gift for her. I just needed to wrap it and get over to her house within 15 mins. I said “Wavy! Do you wanna help me wrap a present for grandma really quick?!” She excitedly replied “SURE! YOUR ROOM OR MINE?!” oh was it ever cute. She was referring to the spare room that her and Laela have had sleepovers in as her room. To be fair she does have hair supplies and a housecoat that live in my house.

Anyways just some cute things to share from recently. Waverly, I am gonna miss you when you go into grade 1! 

This picture is from when she said “your room or mine?” I had to capture the moment! 

Need I say more? I hit Dollarama and Dollar Tree in search of one specific thing, and I did not find it. In the meantime, I accidentally bought many things I was not looking for. Whoops.

Don’t worry, it was a happy accident. And I didn’t spend a fortune, which makes it even better!

Dollar Tree was first, because, cheaper.

For whatever reason, these were by the door when I came in, and I grabbed a few for storage in the freezer and pantry!

Stretchy cord for kids who bead bracelets, and stitch markers that are SO handy with crocheting but I’ve never ever owned. I always have used bobby pins, but they snag enough that I’m grateful to have these on hand.

I don’t know what to tell you about these stars. They’re metal and beefy and I love them. I might hang onto them for Christmas decor. Maybe wrap them in yarn, or twine, or ribbon. We’ll see.

I went to Dollarama next and found myself accidentally enthralled with yet more things that I did not intend to find. First was these flour sack towels. I immediately thought about how cute they’d be with little crocheted towel hangers with them! But then I accidentally loved them for camp dish towels instead. Oops.

Also these. Double oops.

And then I bought some macrame cord in pretty colours because I have a good chunk of neutral off whitish cord, and this will be a nice addition.

*sigh*

My bad…

😏

Alright, guys. I’m on the hunt for three totally unrelated things, and none of them are cut and dry. So I need some input. Or, at the very least, a place to lay it all out. I guess that’s here.

Thing number one. I really want some patio stones for the lake. Our spot isn’t especially green, but more gravel. This kind.

Which is great for a lot of things! I don’t mind not having to worry as much about bugs (ticks) or cutting grass, etc. This is also able to be levelled and tweaked as time goes by. However, as that time does go by, I would love the evenness and aesthetic of having it done with patio stone. Not only would it be pretty, but it wouldn’t get mucky the same way, and would be easier for Brady to move freely. However. The area we’d like to cover is about 300 sqft, and unfortunately, even with a bit of a discount on those types of products, c/o Brady’s job, its still more than we want to spend for our campsite!

So here’s the quandary. We could…

a) leave it another year, because who cares?

b) bite the bullet and pay more than you’d prefer.

c) use sidewalk blocks, because they’re the best value, though will take more work to keep level.

d) buy mismatched cast offs through marketplace and let it be more like that.

I’m not sure any of these options are nice, but, I welcome input! Thats question one!

Thing number two is a climbing dome. I really don’t want a play structure, but I’ve always been drawn to the climbing domes. As my kids get older, it probably has less of a draw, but I also think it would be fun to tarp it off for backyard sleepovers, or for snow forts. I guess my question is whether or not any of you have had climbing domes or towers, and if so, were they something everyone got bored with quickly, or was there always a fun way to use it. Any tips? Is that what I should spend our free Costco money on? Or is it better to save it for a new washer, which I do not need but desperately want. #ihateyoufrontloadwasher What do you guys think? Climbing dome yay or nay?

Thing three! I have this funny list of things that would be an absolute dream to have in our home one day. On that list, I have both a CNC and a 3D printer. Neither is really a necessity in any stretch of the imagination, so they are just sitting on that list, which I have been totally at peace with. They would be so cool to have, but really, they’d be more for fun than function.

Except that I’m starting to come across some ideas of items that I positively cannot find, but I have found templates and such for either printing them on a 3D printer or cutting them on a CNC. And I’m kind of intrigued by that possibility of being able to make some things myself that I can’t find elsewhere, and maybe eventually sell them to others. So, with this, I’m wondering which would be best. My gut says a 3D printer is more affordable, and most of what I’m picturing making is plastic. Is it worth it with the cost of filament? I don’t know how far that goes. A CNC would be fun to Brady, also, but can it cut plastic? Or other materials beyond wood? Its a lot more expensive. I don’t know. Does anyone have one of these, or better yet, both?? I’d welcome your impressions!

Ok. Whew. Those are my thoughts. And they are just that. Thoughts. Not plans. Or even goals. Just, thinking thoughts. Dreaming a little. I’m curious.

Rowan has been struggling a bit more these days, so after a particularly hard day, we made a commitment to try (cannot make a commitment to do as thats too much pressure) to get Rowan outside and active before bedtime. Soccer has been a good help with that, rocking a practice and a game each week. Thats two days of good physical activities before bedtime that he enjoys! Other days, he’ll play kickball in the backyard with Laela, but that tends to end in arguments these days. And the camp weekends are active pretty consistently and we stay up later.

Today, his evening plans changed, and he had nothing active to intentionally do. After a pretty rocky morning with him, I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to spend one-on-one time with him, but doesn’t that tend to be the time when we should spend that time? Especially when he realized it had been raining and he was even less excited to go outside, I knew it needed to be me and him.

So I invited him to join me on a walk, and he very happily accepted. Very politely. On high alert after our struggles through the day. He was just in shorts, and he said he’d go get a shirt on. I suggested also socks for shoes, and a hoodie. He hates both of those things, but he said “sure thing, mom” and he came upstairs for our walk in those items. Not looking to fight. I liked that. Off we went.

We walked at a good clip down our street, observing all the construction equipment that has moved in. We speculated what our summer might look like with the street being beaten up. He commented at one point “Oh! A port-a-jon!” And he ran over and posed like a goofball for me.

We walked to the high school, and walked a lap of the track. And then ran one together. And walked another. We walked all over town at a nice pace, and got reacquainted. Once we were on the path to home, I asked him a bit about our morning struggle and how he felt at certain times. What could I have maybe said or done differently to help defuse the bomb. He is SO good to talk to about this stuff when its all over and he is clear. He told me he honestly figured I had done it right. And that the parts that he could pinpoint that made him so angry were actually the right things, and that it just made him angry that I was going to win. But as he is clear and calm, he reassured me that he completely understood why I managed him the way I did, and he didn’t have anything to offer that I should change.

So we got home with some tired bodies from all the walking and running, and with some more contentment in our hearts, I think 💜

He is worth every shred of extra work. I am here for it, even if its bumpy or nasty at times.

I love you, Rowan Toby.

We usually milk our camp weekends for all they’re worth, coming home later in the day. Today, we needed to be home before supper. It was the difference of only a few hours but it felt different. And honestly, not a bad way! While I fully expect we will stay longer whenever we possibly can, today worked out really well!

There was less pressure. There was less rush. We just moseyed our way around the house, getting things where they belonged, not panicking about baths or laundry. We took our time. It was nice! And then I decided on a really easy supper of mostly leftovers from the weekend – chunky salad, broccoli salad, and raspberries – plus we used up some hamburger and hot dog buns by making them into garlic toast. Boom. Laela sat down at the table and announced that this was the BEST supper she had ever had!

Which is aaaaalmost embarrassingly sad, but also awesome 😎 So I’m choosing to ride the awesome wave.

Speaking of waves, it’ll be a couple of weeks before we can be back at Kinasao. Hopefully its warmer, and calmer, and more beachy. Though I can’t ask for it to be more beautiful. That is impossible.

Oof. I love it here 💜 Thank you Lord.

It was another chilly day at camp. It was windy and crispy, but when the sun came out, it was so beautiful and warm! There are beautiful days to come, it is evident! 

Today, we drank coffee around the fire. We ate party mix and ice cream at lunch. Burgers for supper. The babies ate grilled potatoes. We went down to the water to play in the sand. Drank some hard root beer. I crocheted. It was so peaceful. 

We ended the night by pushing a dead golf cart back to the site 😅 it made for a good video and we shared a lot of laughs. 

I anticipate so many more beautiful days like today ☀️ thank you God. 

Not many places feel homier than home. But this beach is one of my settings that feels so much like home. 

I can’t explain it. Last summer, it was a little different with all the smoke. I probably have less than five clear pictures of the sunsets. The summer before, I must’ve had hundreds. Today’s sky just reminds me of how beautiful it can be. And how beautiful it WILL be🤞 

I’m so grateful for this beautiful place 💜 thank you Lord for providing things for us that aren’t even needs, but rather fun wants that feel like pipe dreams for the far distant future. God knows all the things. 

I won’t lie. Sometimes I feel like a big fat phoney on here. Not because I’m being disingenuous. Not at all. But because a HUGE part of our life is off-limits to share on a public platform such as this. There are SO many things I ache to share on here. We love our foster children so deeply, and their milestones are just as pivotal as those of the children I gave birth to. Its SO strange to keep their details so quiet, and sometimes it feels SO unfair. But as you know about the reality of foster care – SO much is unfair for those children that this is the smallest of potatoes.

Today I had a particularly validating conversation with one of our childrens social workers. She shed some light on some details I was wondering about, and confirmed a lot of suspicions I was carrying. It was interesting to learn the things I did, and see that my radar was functioning appropriately in those areas. It helps me to better care for these children when I can know a little bit about where they came from and what was missed specifically that I could put extra time and effort into. And, in this case, the social worker was very happy for my observations and affirmed me in my care of this child. Which felt really nice.

And as if that wasn’t enough, the day wrapped up with one of babies delivering their first ever GIGGLES!!!! I could’ve just bawled. I can’t stop thinking about it. As I sat beside the baby while they flapped on the floor, and while I just tickled their chest lightly, they started cooing and finally, laughing. My heart just swelled with love and excitement! What a privilege to witness such a beautiful milestone!

The flip side is that, while I’m witnessing something beautiful, some VERY important people are not. And while there will be mixed feelings on that subject – some more compassionate than others, and some more cynical – it doesn’t change the fact that people are missing out on these things. And our babies are missing out as well, by default. Yes, we love these children well. I won’t deny that. We LOVE to love these kids. But they are still suffering trauma by being without their people. Trade-offs. Grey areas. Balance. Its all such a mess. Its brutal and beautiful all wrapped into one.

Anyway. Today was a great day in terms of foster care. For me, anyway. But its not about me.

I love you, babies 💜💜💜