Kid #4 started school today 😳 Feels a liiiiittle bananas! But he was beside himself with excitement!
He was even jazzed about “getting” to wear a mask. 😷 (To be clear, these will only be enforced during singing time because we cannot do playschool without singing!!!)
Solly wanted so badly to leave with the school kids, but he had a bit of a wait ahead of him. I decided to busy him with a “first day of school” photo sesh. Waverly wanted to join so badly, and let me tell you! Lol! Those are are almost impossible to get looking at the camera at the same time! 😆 They’re terribly cute, though!
Once it was finally time for him to go, I got some solo photos of Solomon on his FIRST day of school!!! 🥰
He was SO happy to go to school. ❤️ Didn’t even look back.
Brady has left for a short day of work now, and I’m one on one with Princess Baldy over here.
Believe it or not, she’s a pretty easy gig 😆
I’ll tell you all about how it went tomorrow! I don’t anticipate any issues. My heart feels such relief when the kids go easily. Thank you Lord!
I know two blogs in a row about Waverly’s bedtime prayers might seem repetitive, but they’re such special memories, I can’t not record them!!
After Wavy prayed on her own the previous night, I was very curious what would happen the next night! Whether she would repeat the same prayer that got her so much attention, or if she’d even remember. When it was her turn to pray, the kids started to prompt her, but I shushed them and we waited. And her prayer went like this:
Dear Jesus. Thank you day. Thank you.. uuuhhh… Daddys back hurts… Amen.
Just try and tell me she doesn’t understand what prayer is! She knows exactly what she’s doing!!
Lord, hear her prayers! Heal Brady’s back!
***
I’ve been working on a full post about what Brady is going through. Look for it in the next day or two!
We always pray as a family before putting the kids to bed. Sometimes the kids pray for the same things for a long time, like a routine. Sometimes they mix it up, depending on what they did that day. There are seasons.
Its always a fun time when the youngest kid is verbal enough to pray! Wavy has been on that level for a good while now, but being a two year old, she relies on the rest of us to help her through it. Which is great, and also adorable.
Last night was a first for Waverly.
She asked to pray first, and as always, she opened her prayer on her own with a “Dear Jesus.” Usually from there, a kid pipes up with a “thank you for this day” and then suggests things for her to thank Jesus for. Maybe it was the few extra seconds after her opening where nobody spoke up, but she continued on all on her own. Her prayer went like this:
Dear Jesus. Thank you day. Thank you Auntie. (Cher) Thank you eggs. Thank you Dekko. Amen.
Brady and I just stared at each other in total disbelief. She prayed her thoughts out, all on her own! And the first real thing she thanked Jesus for was Cher 💜 followed by eggs, and Dekker! Hahaha! It was SO amazing!
We continued through our prayer time, and she prompted Solly in his prayer, suggesting “Auntie? Eggs and toast? Me! Hahaha!” She thought she was SO goooood!
And she was right. My gosh, that girl never ceases to amaze me!
Cher might’ve been a tad on the thrilled side of things, also 😘 Or at least she should be!
Pre-covid, our plan for projects this year was the fence and the grass. We wanted to get our yard in good shape so our kids could go out a bit easier without being worried about vehicles ripping down the back alley or animals running loose. We got to some of those things, but then covid hit and priorities changed a lot! Opportunities changed, I guess is more accurate. As you know, we did the fence, and the dirt, and closed in under the deck to make a shed. And then before we got to the grass, we bought our RV and there went the summer! Haha! I say that in the BEST way, but its incredibly accurate! Our summer was SLAMMED, but it was fine in terms of the yard, because apparently its best to do grass in either Spring or Fall anyway.
As the quarantine, and by default, the unemployment, continued, we opted to seed grass ourselves, rather than our original plan of hydroseeding. It helped that Costco had everything we needed for a nice cheap price. That way we could still consider doing grass even after all the projects we’d worked on while Brady wasn’t able to be working. It was going to happen!!!
We seeded the front yard and saw really lovely, green, even results within the week! Success! It was time to rock the backyard!
Now, I’ve said some little things here and there, and I’ll update you with real information soon, but Brady is not in tip top shape for projects right now. The idea of tilling our dirt was absolutely out of the question. Carrying everything from our yard elsewhere and then tilling the super hard soil and clay was just going to be way too much. As Brady’s pain worsened, it was clear that we needed to accept the fact that we just wouldn’t get there this season. And that was going to be ok. Maybe next Spring. We accomplished SO MUCH this year, if we didn’t see the backyard with grass, so be it.
Except that kind of eats a person when that was the biggest thing we wanted to accomplish this season, and possibly the easiest…
But we made peace with it. Passive aggressive peace, but peace nonetheless.
Then how did I wind up here, inside, blogging, while one of our friends and neighbours is tilling our backyard? If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. We have the BEST people in our corner. I don’t know what we did to deserve such a beautiful group of people in our lives, but my goodness, it is a gigantic blessing to our family!!
Brady and I got out there and tried to move some things around the yard as best as we could. I had a CRAZY moment where I was trying to drag the trampoline on my own, and Dekker and Laela showed up and each lifted, and the three of us carried it into the garden plot. Yes. Dekker and Laela helped me carry a trampoline. They’re 9 and 7. Just saying. It was bananas. Landry came and helped me get the picnic table moved as well, and Brady picked rocks and lightly worked at shovelling the topsoil we had piled in the corner of the yard. Landry is tilling, and the actual seeding will be easy. Brady has been cleared for “light work,” thank the Lord, so he can feel accomplished, too!
What a gift we’ve been given. Covid has its ups and downs, but I am ever grateful for the people we’ve gotten closer to over the months of quarantine and who has stuck it out with us. Thank you, Lord, for the friends and neighbours and family we have, and their willingness to put into our lives.
I really really enjoyed today. It was full, but of really good things. I used to be a person whose ideal level of busyness was one scheduled thing per day. Anything more than that was doable, but more than my mind seemed to want to handle. Everything has changed this year, and my busyness level has shifted significantly!
The morning began across the street, actually! After getting the big kids off to school, the three younger kids and I headed over to Rae’s. The kids played downstairs while Rae and I made four batches of salsa! I am not confident in the kitchen, as has been talked about a lot, but I chopped tomatoes for a couple of solid hours and I think I can safely say we both felt pretty accomplished. 💪 Brady joined us after his physio appointment, and happened to arrive just in time for Rae to crack out the fresh baked cookies! We all enjoyed some of those before packing up and heading home, with a container of cookies and two big jars of salsa, of course! Thank you SO MUCH, Rae, for inviting us!! It was a really lovely morning with you! And thank you for the treats!
Brady and I lunched the kids, and then lunched ourselves while we watched a show. Cher joined us for a swift hour and a half, for a visit and an iced coffee. She is always such a delight! One of the best parts of the day, easily!! 💜 But she couldn’t stay long today, so we said our goodbyes right around when the big kids got home from school.
I had been somewhat on the ball, and had put a pork loin in the crock pot early in the morning for pulled pork. My mom had offered to pick up buns for us, so upon her arrival, we invited her to stay for supper! Was a bit last minute, but she happily joined in the fun! I chopped up salad stuff with her and Brady chilling at the island with me, and the kids played downstairs. It was really, really nice! Supper went over really well, and everyone ate well! Wavy didn’t care for the pork on a bun, but she ate a whole big bowl of salad, so I have no big issue.
We ate Rae’s cookies for dessert, and decided to go burn that off with a walk! Our friend had a birthday today, and we had a gift to drop off anyway! It worked out! The kids were so happy to go on a walk, and my mom joined too! We walked across town and dropped off the bday gift, and then ended up visiting with some other friends down the street for probably a solid half hour. It was dark by the time we were heading home, but it felt like an adventure for the kids, so they were jazzed.
We came home to see the bright orange harvest moon at the end of our street! What a beautiful night! Crisp and dark. Very fallish.
Now, everyone is tucked away, and we’re running a bath. It has been such a lovely day, in all the ways. Tomorrow brings more busyness, and we’re ready for it! All good things, for which we are so thankful!
We started Laela’s birthday off with a big, loud, obnoxious performance of “Happy Birthday” while our entire family jumped on her while she was in bed still. We bounced her and tickled her and she squealed like crazy. She loved it 🙂 Once everyone was dressed, we all met at the table for her requested birthday breakfast of baked oatmeal!
We were out of sprinkles so we rocked coloured sugar, and no one was mad at that! It made a nice sugary crust on top. I loved it! Haha!
As a last minute decision, we decided to walk the kids to school! Normally, Dekker and Laela bike together, but I mentioned I wished I could walk with her on her birthday and she was SO happy to give up biking so we could all go together! What a girl.
It was cold!! But everyone was a great sport about it! The kids tend to fight over pushing Wavy in the stroller, and we let Laela, because of her special day. Dekker was upset, and Laela quickly offered it to him.
“I don’t need special breakfast and to push Wavy! You can have a treat too!”
Ugh. My heart.
We walked to school in good time to drop the kids off. We walked Dekker to his door first, and while he got his mask on, we chatted with Laela’s teacher from last year. She and Laela have such a special relationship, and she was so loving about it being her birthday! Laela was excited and told her about her yummy breakfast.
We dropped Dekker off, and brought Laela to her doors. Her teacher happened to be the one receiving kids at the door and immediately upon seeing Laela, shouted a big, enthusiastic “happy birthday” in her direction! It was evident how special she felt. Very celebrated. She was ALL smiles, which was such a pleasure for me to see, as she often holds back a little. She headed into the school, and I knew she was really really happy to be there. I loved that.
Once Laela was at school, I wrapped her gift and prepped for the meal she had requested. Macaroni and bacon. I know, I know, we eat KD, its fine. So by “prepped,” I mean we pulled our bacon to defrost. We also took a drive to Martensville for her bday dessert – ice cream. I grabbed a carton of Rolo and Cookies & Cream, because believe it or not, those were cheaper than the Coop Gold brand 😳 Is that bananas or what??
Our plan was to go pick the kids up from school as a family, but it wasn’t such a smooth exit, so Brady and a kid stayed home while Cher blew up some balloons and I went to the school with the other kids.
Laela BURST out of the school, just beaming. She had felt so special and celebrated all day, and it really showed. She had been announced, given cards, and lots of happy birthday wishes. She was just so thrilled. It was wonderful to see!
She came home to a floor full of balloons, and a bed full of balloons! Maybe two minutes after we got home, my mom pulled up! The gang was all there! She and Dekker unpacked quickly, and she was ready for presents.
She LOVED her presents! She loved her gifts from my mom…
From Cher…
and from us.
It all went over SO well!
She got books, notebooks, fancy pens, Soft Lips, lotion, and some candy. She was truly over the moon with all of her gifts! She came and snuggled with me after, and as we were sitting together, another kid inquired what they were having for supper.
At once, I responded with “macaroni” and Laela said “pancakes.” We stared at each other. Clearly, lines has gotten crossed, and she had changed her mind at some point, and I had missed the memo. She was gracious and happy to have macaroni, but I looked at Brady and he mouthed “We can.” So, we did! All we had done was pull out bacon, so we decided to make pancakes rather than noodles! Easy fix! She was so happy!
We pancaked and baconed and cantalouped and had a delicious time together. We wrapped up the evening with ice cream, and a bundle of sprinkles, courtesy of her grandma.
Once food was over, Laela settled in to one of her new books while the balloons flew around her. She was so content.
We planned a family walk but she so badly just wanted to snuggle in downstairs and watch some music videos on YouTube. We haven’t done that in months, and she was SO happy when we agreed. She chose every song, and listened as she flipped the sequins on her new notebook.
Finally, we let her stay up a bit later than usual, and she quietly, contentedly read in a recliner in the living room until it was time to go to bed.
We don’t do birthdays too terribly exciting over here, but our kids wrap the day up feeling loved, celebrated, and content. And, for that, I praise the Lord.
I know I’m supposed to be surprised that Laela is seven “already,” but she is just SO grown up. That being said, she has changed SO MUCH in the last year!!
This little sweetie is my children’s second mama. She is warm, and helpful, and responsible, and bossy 😂 We’re working on that one. But she always means well, and works HARD to help her siblings out with everything!
She is a VERY smart little miss, excelling at reading and writing. She can easily read absolutely anything Dekker can, but her age still shows her shorter attention span, and she really only wants to sit through a book that at least has some pictures. As of today, she is reading level R.
Laela learned how to do laundry in the last few months. Which is CRAZY, but crazy AWESOME! When she discovered she could reach the bottom of the washer, that was just it. Now, we hear the laundry machines singing at random times, and she’s just taken it upon herself to sort and start laundry. Its bananas, and I’m SO grateful for it! She is SO willing to help!
Laela feels sad when she feels left out, or if Dekker runs faster than her. Thats kind of it! Not a whole lot else makes her angry. Injustice. Thats another thing. But shouldn’t it? I think that checks out. She always recovers with a hug and a kiss. She is VERY brave when she’s upset, and works to turn it around.
My very grown up little daughter is a wonder for me to watch. I am constantly impressed and amazed by her. She is tough while being just so so soft. Every morning, I go lay on her in her bed, and whether she’s wide awake or still mostly asleep, she lifts her arms up for me, and stroked my hair and neck for a few minutes. And once she’s done that, she’ll start to scrunch up, and, already laughing, she’ll quietly request “Tickle??” So I tickle her pits until she is fully belly laughing and squealing. It is a beautiful start to every day with her.
Goodness, Laela, we love you so dearly 💗 You came into the world like a force to be reckoned with, and you continue to hold to that strong spirit! I couldn’t picture our family without you. What a great disservice that would be for us. You are SUCH an important part of what makes us us. I am so thankful to God that you were born to us.
I feel like I’ve been thanking you guys a lot, recently, for your care and support. I don’t know what we did to earn such an incredible corner filled with people, but I am truly grateful. In awe, mostly. Yesterday’s post didn’t receive a single negative comment. Only love and encouragement. Both Cher and I felt really vulnerable, and neither of us have felt regret about posting it, and that is largely in part of not having to be on the defence at all. So, thank you.
Yesterday, while I wasn’t blogging, I was home with the chunk of my family that wasn’t at school or work, lol!
It was a pretty quiet time at home. I did make my way out the door in the afternoon to do a bit of necessary shopping (and coffeeing) with Cher. It was really nice to be out together. It doesn’t happen too often.
She dropped me off at home around supper time, and I spent the rest of the evening at home with the fam. Someone even dropped off orchids for us! 💜VERY thoughtful!
I am actively running out of room for my plants! I need to make a new setup somewhere! Hahaha! What an excellent problem to have!
Now, this morning, after a choppy sleep, all three school kids are off!
And now, all I want to do is crochet and listen to the Hamilton soundtrack. And I think thats what I shall do! While, of course, writing some important emails, planning out tomorrow’s blog, and keeping laundry running!
This entire blog post goes against my grain. All of it. The content. The honesty. The pictures. Oooh, the pictures! I asked Cher to photoshop my body, and then reluctantly changed my mind, because that is exactly what we’re talking about here. My body.
It goes against my grain to talk openly about stuff I have always been told to shut up about. But I’m going to talk about it today anyway….
WE are going to talk about it. Cher and I are both going to discuss the double standards on body shame, but in order to feel truly heard on my end, I feel it is necessary for her to begin:
___________________________
I have never been what you would call a “skinny” or “small” girl. As a kid, I was healthy and slim, but I wasn’t known for my slender size, so I never really understood what that felt like. I still don’t honestly know what that feels like. It SOUNDS like it would be flattering because don’t we ALL wish we had a fast metabolism and a small cute figure?
In my mind, the only time you don’t want to be known for your size is when you’re overweight. But at the same time, NO ONE will ever tell you that you are overweight, at least not to your face. I will get told I am “curvy” or “beautiful” or people will completely deny that I’m bigger because they CANT tell me that. Even if I was SUPER unhealthy or developed poor coping mechanisms and probably needed some help.
Why? Because that’s SERIOUSLY RUDE! And none of their business. So then how come we get to walk around shaming women for being thin and telling them that they don’t have real bodies? Or being upset with them because we have to work HARD to be a size 8, and they can eat ice cream and burgers and stay a size 4? No one shames thin men who can’t gain weight. We feel bad for them, in fact. So why would we be upset with women who have naturally high metabolisms?
As a bigger girl who has gained a lot of weight in the recent years due to trauma, grief, and school, I have NEVER felt ashamed of myself for being best friends with someone who is effortlessly thin. Her weight has nothing to do with me and affects me not at all. I think it is AMAZING that she has five kids and still keeps a small figure. I am often telling her how cute she is, how pointy her knees are, and lovingly poking her and teasing her. But guess what! She can’t poke me and tease me about having fat. (I mean she totally could, we are very comfortable with each other and would laugh) But we are taught that being thicker is shameful, yet we call that a REAL body. And being thin is desired but “screw the skinny people who don’t have to work for it.”
When I hug her, she apologizes when I feel her ribs. She THANKS me for not being grossed out by her. She is genuinely shocked when I talk to her about my weight issues, because she isn’t allowed to speak about her own body and she just loves that we can be open. She thanks me for listening to her and ACCEPTING her size.
She is afraid when she complains about anything at ALL about her body and says sorry over and over. How is that okay?
And it isn’t just her. LOTS of thin women feel that way who have opened up to me over the years. Why are we intimidated by these women? They aren’t showing off or bragging. They aren’t putting US down, so why are we mad at them? Why can’t we be happy for them and say “I am so thankful that we don’t share the same struggles” because I promise you that they DO care about us and our struggles even though they aren’t living it. But you don’t need to hear it from me, you can hear it from her:
_________________________
Being small was a novelty when I was young. It didn’t define me, but it was a notable detail that I tended to be “the small one.’ In our small town, I was quite sheltered, and never worried too much about my size or the shape of my body. I was young, and built to look young. And I was happy about that.
That changed as I aged, moved out, and was around different people. At age eighteen, a tall, gorgeous, glamorous girl teased me about having thin legs: “Men like women with more meat on their bones” she said, as she looked at me with pity on her face. That was my first real memory of being confronted and made to feel bad about being small.
Its progressed from there, into adulthood. The eye rolls. The poor service at clothing stores trying to avoid the fact that their entire store is too big for me. Bigger girls are allowed to be frustrated when they can’t find clothes that fit, but smaller girls are not. The “I’d have five kids if I looked like you, too.” The assumptions that I diet to no end. The quiet comments to my husband asking if I’m unwell. But almost NEVER a “Wow, you look great!” It was always negative. Never positive. So I learned to keep my mouth shut. And that my friends, is not fair.
As a skinny girl, I’m stuck in the middle of a bizarre conflict. I am not allowed to be secure or insecure about my body. I cannot celebrate or mourn. I cannot be grateful or dissatisfied.
If I am happy with my body, its viewed as a form of fat shame. People just SEE my size and, by default, put themselves down. Strangers, anywhere, will comment on my body. The wide, disbelieving eyes. I constantly feel guilty about my size because I do not have to work for my body.
When I shared on the blog that I was back down to pre-pregnancy size by two weeks, I felt victorious! And I was met by comments that said “Good for you for not struggling with something everyone else struggles with.” No joy. Just guilt. Genetics have been gentle on me. But why should that matter? Why am I not allowed to be happy?? Because my body makes others feel lesser than.
If I’m unhappy with my body, that is wrong too. Because doesn’t evvvvveryone want to be thin?? I am not allowed to be insecure about my physical details like everyone else. I have wrinkles on my tummy that make my belly button look like it has a moustache. I have stretch marks on my butt and my legs. My boobs sit a heck of a lot lower than they once did. But I don’t get to express those frustrations like everyone else does, because I don’t carry extra weight.
All bodies are beautiful, that goes without saying. No one should need that pep talk anymore. But thin girls are “real women” too. The “mom bod” isn’t always soft and round. Sometimes, its thin, with abs, and some crepey skin overtop.
The fact that my genetics allow me to be a smaller woman doesn’t mean I’m less of a mom.
Or less of a woman.
And it doesn’t make YOU less of a woman either!
Building people up doesn’t tear you down.
Someone else achieving something doesn’t discount your achievements.
Celebrating someone else doesn’t make YOU unimportant.
I am allowed to be grateful for my body. I am ALLOWED to be thankful that I don’t carry extra weight and that I can eat treats without worry. That I can exercise, or not exercise, but that my life keeps me active. I’m also thankful for the brain that I have, that has kept me grounded, and a healthy relationship with my food, where I don’t use it for self soothing or celebrating. I’ve never been a big eater, but my frame has always been small, so I didn’t need to be. I unwittingly learned self discipline through our habits at home, where we didn’t snack much at all, and never overate. I feel so blessed, but I feel ashamed of my blessings.
To finish this lengthy post, we both just want to highlight the importance of being mindful that words are powerful. Words have the power to bring life or death. Use your words to make the world more beautiful. When you make someone else feel good, you make yourself feel good by default. It has been scientifically proven. Just because someone is thin, doesn’t mean they have unbreakable confidence. Just because someone is a little thicker, doesn’t mean they are unhappy.
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I watch it with awe as it unfolds.” -Carl R. Rogers
Do you remember a few weeks ago when I made the girls cardigans? I’ve had it on my to-do list to crochet something, sometime, that is wearable beyond a toque or scarf. More specifically, a sweater of some kind. I like the big squishy open cardigans, so I made them for the girls to test out the pattern. It required a lot of change, because it called for bulky yarn and I intended to use a finer, worsted weight yarn. That would change the gauge greatly. I was willing to work with it, though. Once I knew I liked it, I started making one for myself!
I made the entire body piece, and crocheted the edging around it. It was at that point that I realized it was too short in the body. It wasn’t too short, but it was shorter than I wanted. I was thinking, I should just make it as the pattern stated, and then I would make another one with all the proper tweaks later on.
But I knew I wouldn’t wear the short one. And all that time and effort would be a waste. And it wouldn’t count as making a wearable item.
So I pulled it aaaaall out. That sucked.
I gave it a few days, and then started again. I made the body the exact same, but 20 stitches longer. It felt like it took WAY longer to crochet, but I think that was psychological. When I finally got the body done, I slipped it on and it was nice and long, as I wanted it. I added the edging, which rounded it out nicely and made it feel more like a sweater. Except at that point, it was much more like a long, weird vest 😆
Then, the arms. It was clear they were going to be WAY too short. So I tweaked the pattern yet again, and did the same arm a couple of times until it was how I liked it. Good thing I wrote down some notes because the next arm came together SO much faster.
After that, I just weaved in the ends, and I was DONE!
This thing was a labour of love, but I am SO happy with the results! I made it big and bulky, large enough to wrap around my body with room to spare, but fitted enough in the shoulders to look like it was meant for a person my size. There is next to nothing I would change about it, and there are very few projects I’ve completed that I can say that about. I hope to make myself another one down the line, because something tells me you can never have too many warm squishy cardis.
