I should not be telling you this. I will lose all credibility as a decent crocheter. But, here we are, talking about my BIGGEST crochet failure.

Let’s be clear. When someone is starting out, they make mistakes. A lot of them. They should make them! And I have made my share, don’t you worry! But my skills have advanced at least somewhat over the last year or two, and a loss like this is pretty much devastating. Had I messed up this badly when I was learning years ago, I would never pick up a hook again.

Luckily, thats not how we do things. 💪 But before we get too cocky, we put it on social media, to prove it happened. 🤦‍♀️ *sigh*

So. I’m making blankets, right? For the kids. Don’t tell them. Its a surprise. Anyway, Laela’s blanket was easily the longest process. The biggest blanket. The most labour intensive. It contained 240 squares. I worked on them constantly, for weeks, and then I attached them.

As soon as I attached them, I knew I didn’t like how I’d done it. It was seamless, but the seam was too tight and the blanket was uncomfortable. It sucked. But it was SUCH a huge job. I packed it up without any borders and decided I’d reevaluate over time. This was months ago already.

A couple of weeks ago, out came the blanket and the deconstruction began. It was a long process but it got done, and soon I was left with a big heap of squares.

I began reattaching them in a way I like WAY more! It leaves a little braid behind, which is a nice simple detail, but its completely flat. No ridges. WAY comfier to cuddle with.

Pretty, right? Right.

Once or twice, I came across a casualty, where it was clear something went wrong, whether in the original job or in the dismantling of the assembly.

It wasn’t a concern. Accidents happen. I kept plugging along, replacing a couple along the way.

Except, guys, suddenly they were everywhere 💔

The blanket basically disintegrated in my hands. I could’ve screamed. I did cry, no lie there. But goodness, I was SO upset.

Laela’s gift was beyond saving. And I can’t even fathom going near that pattern again. So I’ve picked an entirely new pattern to make for her. And by “pattern” I mean I made a graph and I’m just going for it. Its a bit of a free for all but I’m hopeful for it.

What a waste of time.

Not a waste of yarn, though.

I couldn’t imagine just throwing it in the trash. Yarn costs a decent amount. Even the cheap stuff is costly because you need a good amount to make a blanket. So, it is now all rolled up, and it will live in shoe boxes until I decide what to do with it. I like the colors a lot, and I imagine it will eventually be a blanket again. Just a different pattern.

No. More. Squares.

*

*

*

Once I finish Laela’s blanket up, I’ll show you all of the kids blankets 🙂

Yesterday was a big day. Not only did Cher and I finally celebrate our friendaversary, but it was also her late brother, Scott’s, birthday. Lots to honour and acknowledge yesterday 💜

Cher came and joined us for oatmeal in the morning, and we exchanged gifts. She got me some hilarious cards based on a show we really loved watching together, as well as a pair of earrings I fell hard for the first time we shopped together, but ended up leaving behind and kicked myself over for the last couple of years. I crocheted her a throw pillow for her room. We were both SUPER happy with our gifts. We lingered a little before going out to the city, where we perused Value Village for a little, and then went for lunch.

What is it about food court asian that is just SO good?

• 

• 

We Chered, as always.

We made our way back home and finally watched the first episode of the newest season of “You” together. Such a creepy show. We love it.

While the kids ate supper, I made a yummy dessert. I haven’t made this mess of deliciousness in a few years at least, so it was really nice to have it again. For those who are curious, its a layered dessert with a shallow cake base, cream cheese, cherries, and blobs of more batter on top. And drizzle. Its oozy and delicious.

Yes. It is as good as it looks.

And then once the kids went down for night, we made a delicious feed of blue cheese steak and crispy parm potatoes. I made it for Brady’s birthday, and it was to die for. We had enough blue cheese and teeny potatoes left for another round, so we went for it.

You’ll have to take my word for it. The potatoes look like nothing but they are deadly!

We watched Shanghai Noon while we ate our delicious meal, and laughed SO HARD. It was such a lovely wrap up to the day. There was quite a mishmash of emotions, and I can’t tell you exactly how good or bad it was, but I can tell you I’m happy it happened at all.

And that the food was really really good.

About a week ago, I briefly mentioned that we had a popcorn supper for the kids. It went over SO well – well enough that we wanted to do it again. Friday was the day, and it was well loved once again.

We all ate together. We ate two GIANT batches of popcorn – as big as our Schneider popper can make. We ate eight apples. Seven small bowls of melted peanut butter, with two handfuls of chocolate chips stirred in.

Twenty-one bowls later, we were done our meal and no one had fought! It was a win! And will probably become a regular thing around here 🙂

I wish bowls fit better in our dishwasher, haha!

This new dishwasher washes better but fits the dishes so much worse. Ah well. Better than no dishwasher, or a dishwasher that pours water all over the place and ruins our flooring.

Bottom line. The lack of fighting over supper is worth the ridiculous amount of dishes. We’ll take it.

Solly is the man with all the observations. Usually, they are the most obvious things, and we all just stare at him while he announces something simple with a look of surprise on his face in the LOUDEST voice.

Things like…

HEY MOM! I CAN SEE THROUGH BAGS!
Uh huh.

THATS DADDYS WHEELCHAIR!
Yup, we all live here, bud.

Stuff like that.

He’s five, so he also has some mispronunciations when he speaks, as you’d expect. Ls are Ws sometimes. Laela = Waywa. You get it. He’s a little guy, and he’s pretty easy to understand. It helps that his volume is cranked to eleven 25 hours a day. So there’s that. And that. And that.

The other day, we were driving through a residential section of the city with the two youngest, and Solly started talking loudly to Wavy.

IMAGINE THATS MY CROTCH!!!

I stared straight ahead. Where would he have even heard someone say crotch? As I was trying to decide if that was an ok word for him to use, he said it again.

THIS IS MY CROTCH, WAVY!!

I turned around and correct him, saying I didn’t like that word very much and I’d rather he used a different word.

BUT ITS A CROTCH!!

I asked him to stop, and told him he could find something else to imagine, lol! Quite an off colour game to play with his little sister, right??

I turned back around to face the front, but I still heard him talking about crotches! I was officially unimpressed. I turned around, and before I could speak, he pointed out the window and said,

MOM, SEE THAT DOOR?

There was a white garage door right next to our vehicle.

Garage.

Grodge.

Crotch.

*sigh*

So this one was on me…..

Yesterday, for a minute there, I thought the world had ended.

Thankfully, Cher was able to bring us enough to last us a few pots, and the world, in fact, continued to move forward. Everything looked SO much brighter in the basement! And CLEANER!

Take a good look, guys. It will never be this clean again! We still haven’t brought in the things we moved out to make room for the contractors, but we will soon enough. I worried the ceiling would make the room feel small, and low, but it brightens the place right up and it finally feels finished!!!

By the end of yesterday, all of our grocery woes were resolved, thanks to our neighbour across the street who took my last minute grocery request on and came home with a haul for us.

Order was restored, and we could all rest easy.

This morning, out of nowhere, heartburn hit like a ton of bricks, and I missed sending the kids off. It also happened to be a dress up day, and because I was upstairs, spitting out mouthfuls of saliva and rocking back and forth with a heating pad (great mental picture, hey?) not all of the kids were able to get dressed up for todays spirit day. But thats ok. Only Dekker was invested in it anyway, so behold, his career day getup!

• 

• 

Pretty cute, hey? 😍He’s being a contractor here, I believe. But he’s been saying he wants to be a woodworker lately. Let’s be real. He wants to be his dad when he grows up. I love that.

Once everyone was off, and it was just Brady, Wavy, and I left at home, we decided to make a quick trip into the city for – you guessed it – yarn. I know, I know, I have so much already. But I needed specific colors for specific projects, and I didn’t have all that I needed. I sincerely hope I do now…

Also bought some soup…

It was on a REALLY good sale! Don’t judge me!

Also, Krista, do you like my jacket and shoes? Ya I know you do.

I’m grateful for a couple of smoother days. There is lots to be anxious about, and lots to be thankful for. God provides, always.

Thats all for today, folks! I have a LOT of crocheting to do! Or at least to organize!

Goodness. There was a lot going on yesterday. It was a gigantic day. I am wiped just thinking about it. So naturally, I’m going to write it out a little bit more here, just to reeeally make sure I sleep hard tonight 😆 Yikes.

As you may have noticed, I was quite rattled about Brady’s physio debacle. It feels like such an injustice, but its not over yet, and God provides absolutely ALL the time, so we know things will work out as they’re meant to. I know this, and I’m grateful that we found out all of these issues now rather than later. Still. Its a giant step backwards. Ha! Step. Walking joke.

It was very hard to shake Brady’s appointment off.

When we got home, our basement ceilings were still in the works, and looking SO good! We had yet another surprise, though, that really made the day exciting.

We had our basement ceiling done by a local contractor. Maybe you’ve heard of Kruger Construction. He has a really good name for himself around here, but also in a lot of other places. He has an immense following on Instagram, and Brady has been actively keeping tabs on his story videos of the job at our house. Yesterday, he shared a short reel, showing how our laundry closet doors operate. And he tagged Brady in it, because he’s a nice guy.

And Brady’s new woodworking insta account blew up!!!

It seemed immediate that he suddenly had 100 new followers. THAT is what we came home to.

The rest of the afternoon, we watched his account with excitement, and he told me about all the cool people that he has followed who are following him now. It was SO fun!

I’ll admit I still struggled to see past the events of the day that had me upset at Brady’s physio debacle, but when I did, there was so much GOOD to see! It was a bizarre, complex back and forth, but I came through it after a nice deep sleep.

So far, Brady’s Instagram viewership went from about 53 followers to 700 and counting!!! Isn’t that awesome?? If you’ve missed the memo, his new Instagram/Facebook is under the name “I Can’t Stand Woodworking.” And if you missed the play on words there, you don’t know us very well, and you should read back and get to know us.

Anyway. There you have it. Yesterday was a little extra. A little more than I can usually hack in one day. But we made it! Onto bigger and better things!

Or, as Cher and I say, forwardsies 💜

I feel quite disheartened by today’s outpatient physio appointment. I will try to get through this post without a whole rant. Please bear with me.

Brady has being going to physio at City Hospital since he finished radiation. It went like this:

Nine weeks in rehab
Five weeks of radiation (one week overlapped with rehab)
Two weeks break
Outpatient physio began
Two weeks break
First round of chemo

So. Its been a lot.

Outpatient physio had felt really productive so far. Brady was able to accomplish these challenging balancing exercises, build endurance, and walk further and further. It seemed really good. Hopeful.

At his last appointment, Brady was informed that his therapist was moving on, and he’d be seeing someone new. This was kind of a neutral thing, to be honest. No burn on his physio, but the new one seemed like a good fit, so all was well.

Today, Brady saw the new physio. I had to run an errand or two with him before the appointment, so I waited in the van with Solly and Wavy. It was SUCH an easy, adorable gig.

They’re so weird. They pretended the van was a ship, and it kept them BUSY for an hour!

And then it grew to an hour and a half. And we were cutting it super close to being home in time for the kids to get home from school! Thank goodness, suddenly he was at the van, apologizing profusely, and off we sped to get home.

Once we were on the road, I asked how the appointment had gone. Did it run late because they were late? Or was it just a super full appointment?

It was a super full appointment.

Brady learned that his previous physio had pushed for things she shouldn’t have. I understand why. Brady is young and a super hard worker and strong and capable and eager and all those good things. So she wanted him to accomplish as much as possible. But as you know, if you skip steps or cut corners, it does damage. Brady can do all the things she asked of him, but the wrong muscles have been compensating, because they haven’t been exercised or strengthened properly, or in order.

Brady’s right side is SO messed up. He has been using his core muscles and thigh muscles to do just about anything in a standing/walking position, leaving his right hip virtually useless. It is very, very weak. And muscles that aren’t utilized properly or often will atrophy. They will waste away. This is not yet our reality, but its a very real risk. We do NOT want this.

I was very upset to learn this. Brady was, too, though he had a better grasp on gratefulness for having a physiotherapist who is more knowledgable on his particular situation.

The last punch in the gut was learning that Brady apparently is only entitled to 16 physio appointments at the hospital. Apparently that is the standard program. And Brady used NINE on the first physio.

Ugh. Just typing that out makes me want to cry.

His new physio is very aware of the situation, and because of this, she stretched his appointment out as long as possible, working to fill it with as much information as possible, as many exercises, and by gaining as much knowledge as she could. She booked his next one a little ways off so he has lots of time to build the right muscles, and they anticipate emailing back and forth throughout those weeks so she can offer Brady as much support and information along the way. Its the best setup we can get, so we’ll take it. She is clearly going above and beyond for him, and we are SO grateful.

But I must admit. I feel incredibly disheartened. Frustrated. Protective. Jilted.

Pity party over.

Don’t get me wrong. Days with all the kids at home are great. Days with the two youngest at home are great. The days with just Wavy are bananas. She is SO pleasant and easy to have around. She plays super well by herself, but also a total chatterbox. It is never boring to have her around. It is always nicer to have her here.

The basement continued to be worked on, so while Brady got ready to work in the garage, I hung out with Wavy.

She is just a model! 😍 Her perfect lips. Blue eyes. Rosy cheeks. And seriously, she is JUST as warm on the inside!

Wavy loves to play in the garage while Brady works on projects, whether she’s biking in circles or overseeing him as his own personal OH&S representative. They’re a couple of weirdos but I’m a big fan!

• 

• 

While they did their thing, I did mine.

Which isn’t as cute but still counts! And who doesn’t love red buffalo plaid?!

Lunchtime was cute. It always is. Albeit boring, our kids always have an apple or banana with their lunch. Wavy is often torn between the two, but apples fall to second place because they’re just too big. We currently have little apples, so she’s been asking for both. Today, she delightfully exclaimed “Ah! A face!”

Eventually, the time came for naps, and she went down easily. She was SO snuggly in a sleeper, with a quilt that isn’t as big as her duvet but was a beautiful gift given to her this summer. She had her little stuffed piggy and was just crazy cozy.

She looked so peaceful when I went to wake her, I couldn’t resist taking a picture!

My flash couldn’t resist ruining it 😆

Hahaha! No regrets!

I’ll admit, I woke up feeling like death. Going off meds is hard. I’m feeling withdrawally. But the day has turned around, and for that, I praise the Lord!!!

Monday monday monday monday monday…

So, real talk here. Yesterday was a bit of a disaster. I don’t care to relive it on the blog, but I’ll tell you that just about every aspect of the day was a challenge. Even down to the fact that I kept biting the inside of my lip and finally, a hunk of my flesh actually came out. It was just a DAY.

It is not often that Monday is a better day than the weekend, but today was significantly nicer than yesterday! Everyone woke up in WAY better shape than they had on Sunday. The three kids were all super gung ho to get to school, and left on time, happily, together.

Brady and I had Wavy and Solly home today. If you remember, I mentioned the other day that we’re getting our basement ceiling done, and it started today. If you’ve been here, you know that downstairs is where aaaaall the toys live. But it worked out, because Brady is loving starting some woodworking projects in the garage, and Solly and Wavy love to go out there with him, drive the wiggle cars around in circles, and generally just hang out together. They are an adorable pair, and are getting to be really great friends.

Brady happily took them out with him, and I went upstairs to get my crochet on. I had a GIGANTIC crochet disaster the other day that I am not ready to talk about yet, but thanks to that, I’m feeling a bit more push to get things moving over here. ** To be clear, I’m not even being dramatic. It was that huge of a loss. Trust me. ** So I crocheted up a storm and Brady worked on a project, and Waverly and Solomon played, and we all had a really nice morning!

When Murray from Kruger Construction showed up, he was in good spirits! You’d have to have seen it, but Wavy shies away from everyone she hasn’t seen for a while. Or really anyone she feels like she doesn’t want to talk to in that moment. She fakes shy a lot. And she had NO holdbacks from Murray! Straight eye contact with a big smile on her face. I loved that. There is something about kids being at ease around people, you know? Ya, you know.

Murray and his helper worked a really good stretch and got almost all of the bracing up. It’ll be finished tomorrow. I was going to show you progress pictures but I’ll save them for tomorrow when its completely done. I’m so excited to get it all wrapped up and be officially DONE our house.

I’ll also show you some pictures of what Brady is building. He’s already put the progress up on his socials.

And I’ll show you crocheting progress soon, too. Once I get over myself and have a new plan to replace my old, broken plan.

There certainly is a lot on the move over here. I’m not mad at it, though!

Except the crocheting. I’m mad at that.

We are FINALLY getting our basement ceiling done!! It was the last piece of the puzzle that was finishing our house completely. We were going to do it this winter. And now, we cannot. That, plus the reality that we are coming to terms with – moving in the next year or so – means we need it done sooner than later.

Brady reached out to a local contractor and he agreed to the job. It starts tomorrow, and should only take a day or two. While its a decently short job, it means some prep work for us.

And by us, I mean me.

I hate talking like this, but please be gentle with me.

Its hard. All the prep work and leg work was up to me. The basement closets needed to be emptied and stashed somewhere. Any and all things that could be moved and stashed in the furnace room needed to be. I moved one bed, one lamp, one ottoman, two guitars, countless bins and space bags of beddings. I unloaded the boys closet, and cleared their surfaces. I removed the shelves and rods from two closets. I took down the surround sound speakers. I moved all the big toys into the furnace room. Stacks hampers of laundry that need doing. Got the things stacked at the top of the toy shelf down. I don’t even remember what else. I ran up and down the stairs about a hundred times, getting a stool, putting it back, needing it again, etc etc etc.

ALL of that being said, I am immensely grateful for my strong, willing, hard working ten year old son who OFFERED, EAGERLY, to help me. He did a hundred trips up and down the stairs, too. When I moved the big wooden doll house and kitchen, who do you think was on the other hand, saying things like “steady” and “are you doing ok, mom?” When I was up on a stool, disassembling the closets, I didn’t even have to look down, and the piece I was holding would be seamlessly slipped out of my hand and taken off somewhere. I had someone to help me brainstorm where things would go, suggest things that I hadn’t thought of to move, who never turned down a job. He was encouraging and warm and totally happy to keep working until the job was done. At one point, I moved something big into the furnace room – the coffee table, I think – and it blocked the fridge door a little bit. I hemmed and hawed over it and was trying to see where else I could put it. Dekker reassured me right away that we could still get in enough, and that he would be happy to get the fridge stuff from the basement for me while it was like that.

Yes. That is the kind of boy he is.

And he learned it from his dad, who is also that kind of boy 💜 And I hate even talking about this stuff, because I know it hurts Brady’s heart that he isn’t the one helping me with these things. The same way I didn’t choose this change in our lives, neither did he. Especially not him! So I struggle to do significantly more physical work without showing Brady how heavy is weighs on me, and he struggles knowing exactly what I’m struggling with, wishing he could take it from me. So we both struggle, as we both wish for the other to be without the weight they are carrying. But we both have grief. Its just different. But it also isn’t.

I am overwhelmingly grateful for Dekker today. He worked SO HARD this morning to prepare the basement with me. He made a real point to keep things light and encouraging, and he never just decided he was bored and asked to be done. I would’ve let him, too. He had done so much. Even half of what he helped me accomplish was a LOT. Not only is he at an age where he can legitimately help me, carry more weight, and problem solve, but the fact that he is as driven and hard working as he is makes the best kind of help. I truly could not have done the morning without him.

Dekker, you are a fine wine. Or, wait, you’re still a kid. But hardly. You’ve never been a kid kid. I’m not even sure what category fits you best.

Dekker, you are a good piece of real leather. You are strong, and soft, and you just get better with time.

Every day that you are part of my family is a good day, my son. I am SO proud of you.