Where I’ve Been

Thank you, sweet Cher, for taking over the blog for a couple of days 💜Back in the day, it was ALWAYS me who wrote, and while I love being the primary blogger, its really lovely and special to have other important people in ours lives step in from time to time. And honestly, it was a huge relief. So thank you 💜

Its been a very difficult time over here, and the people close to us have stepped up to the plate. When we first had Dekker’s positive covid test, I feared being treated like we had leprosy. On top of all the physical stuff we’re juggling, there has been extra pain that we’ve been navigating, as we all do behind closed doors. But truly, its just all around a difficult time.

So, to update everyone.

A few circumstances arose that led us to take Dekker for a PCR last week. On the 13th, it came back as positive, confirming that Dekker is for sure covid positive. I spoke to Dr. Guselle, and told her that Solly had all the same symptoms, only worse, but that his swabs were negative. We agreed together that he should probably have a PCR done as well. And as Brady’s chemo cycle comes up, we added him to the mix too. On the 14th, we all drove in together, and Brady and Solly got their PCR tests. The 14th was a complete whirlwind of a day. The drive out to the city was such a good change of scenery for everyone. The tests were not fun. We were beat down further by a giant emotional hit while we were still in the city, at literally the exact moment that we saw our faces on a billboard.

Goodness. What an afternoon that was.

This morning, we received the text confirming that Solly’s swab was indeed positive for Covid. Bradys, however, was not! Woot! Now that we have two household cases, however, we assume the cancer centre will want Brady to have PCR first, so he’ll go for yet another on Tuesday. But for now, there are just two sickies over here.

They’re definitely keeping busy, which is good because we’re got another full week of lockdown on our hands!!

It has been humbling to be so well cared for. Even when we’re sick and unable to participate or help with literally anything outside of ourselves, our people have showed up!

Yesterday alone, we were blessed by our people in BIG ways three separate times. Time number one, Tom and Rae came with their truck and hauled away ALL the materials that had come with Brady’s tools that he’s been gifted/donated.

Time number two, a friend from our church brought us a MOUNTAIN of books for our kids to read!

SO many beautiful books for my beautiful readers to eat up! Finally, a haul of books that will actually last a while! Hahaha! These bags are loaded with mystery series’, joke books, science books, kids encyclopedias, choose your own adventure, and some beautiful weathered classics. SUCH an amazing gift.

And then the third thing was a saskatoon berry crisp, hot from the oven, that just casually walked through my front door, all “Oh its no big deal, I was just baking.”

I will admit that we are struggling. I don’t think that’s been a secret. Lots of physical struggle. Lots of emotional struggle. I don’t remember the last time I was this tired. In every way. We are all scraping by just to stay afloat.

Rowan has started to shove his stuffed toys down my shirt, lol! Which always gives me a bit of a shock at first, but its what he has always done 💜 You might remember. He was always the kid who would bring you a stuffie if you were sad, and he still does.

Good thing the struggle bus isn’t a compact car or something of the sort, because we are ALL on it. Please continue to carry us in prayer. Good will come from this. 💜

Redemption is Coming: Pt 2

Cher here!

I wanted to share another part of the previous blog that I felt was a great follow up by Lysa. 

Sometimes we feel the weight of other people’s perspectives of us, but it’s so important to stay focused on who GOD says we are. Are we deserving? No, but He says we are worthy! And if the King of the universe thinks we are worthy, then who can come against us?

______________________________

Sweet friend, I don’t know who in your life has told you that you are anything less than a most glorious creation of the Almighty God. I don’t know who has spoken words over you and about you that have stripped you bare and broken your heart.

But I do know whatever statement was spoken to you that came against the truth must be called a lie!

God’s Word is the Truth. And His Truth says you are a holy and dearly loved child of your heavenly Father.

You are wonderfully made.
You are a treasure.
You are beautiful.
You are fully known by Him and lavishly loved by Him.
You are chosen.
You are special.
You are set apart.

No matter what you’ve done or what’s been done to you, these words of God are true about you.❤️

Lysa Terkeurst 

_______________________________

Sweet Hailey, please read these words and let them resonate with you. 💜 I love you.

Redemption is Coming

Hey guys! Cher here!

Not many people know that my favorite author is Lysa Terkeurst. She has gone through very painful things in her life, from cancer diagnosis to separation from her husband. But she has also had many victories. One of my favorite books she wrote is called: “its not supposed to be this way.” As she writes about overcoming deep disappointments in life. 

Lysa speaks so gentle and loving to her audience in such a way that reminds me of my sweet best friend, Hailey. And it’s painful to watch someone so loving, patient, kind, and generous suffer in so many ways. Especially in the last year. 

As I was scrolling tonight, one of Lysa’s posts came up and I felt that it can resonate with all of us at one point in our lives or another, but I thought of my sweet Hailey 💜
__________________________________________

God isn’t going to waste one bit of your hurt and hardship. I know how challenging that can be to believe. But we can trust the process. So hold fast to God’s ways. Hang on. Redemption is coming.

A new strength is being developed in you by God for a good purpose.

Just like muscle fibers must be torn to grow, this breaking of you will be the making of you. A new you. A stronger you.

I truly believe it, friend.

__________________________________________

You are one tough mama, Hailey! I have watched you face things in the last 11 months that no one should ever have to. Yet, you continue to show up everyday, loving your family so effortlessly, even with your list of to do’s, and your heavy heart, your arms are always open, and your words are always warm. You are an incredible mom, wife, daughter, friend, neighbor.. okay I could keep going. 

Basically you get an A+ on your report card. 

Its a Hard Day Here

Its a hard day here. Lots is on the go and try as we might, the kids are picking up on it.

Thank you, Lord, for a daughter who sees a need and does all she can to meet it. She asked if she could make lunch today, and I accepted.

Laela talked quietly to Wavy the entire time, walking her through how to make sandwiches. It was adorable and SO maternal. Very “Laela.”

A million pb&js later, lunch was served 💜

I am oh so grateful for Laela today.

Deep breaths.

Do You Have a Community?

Brady’s surgeon asked us this question the day before he operated. Do you have a community? He told us we would absolutely need one, and he wasn’t wrong. In the moment, we were very honoured to be able to say yes, believing we did have a strong community of people who would come around us if we needed. Wow did we ever need! Goodness. No one predicted such a thing. I feel like in this last year, we have had the true pleasure to witness our community grow. Where I expected people to tire of us, we still regularly have people offer up help in different ways that are truly needed and appreciated. We have still had our laundry done from time to time. Sometimes meals still come. Just days ago, a couple bags of muffins were dropped off, as that particular gift giver knows that muffins make breakfast SO much easier. Eggs still are dropped off. Groceries are still purchased and dropped off. Even the occasional bottle of creamer is dropped off. It is unreal how the care from our community has not dropped off. I’m almost ashamed of myself that I thought it would. I figured we’d get some help while our situation was new, and that as soon as Brady was home, it would be over. And that has not been the case. It is incredibly humbling.

Now, we have covid in our house. Which is a total bummer. Not because anyone is SO sick, but because it throws a wrench into everything logistically. Now we really can’t go anywhere or do anything, even more so than before! And still, people have showed up in the ways they safely can. Groceries have still come. Multiple offers to pick things up and drop things off. Only compassion has been shown. Letting you all know we had covid yesterday felt risky, and I can honestly say I have no regrets. Thank you for your warmth and understanding.

I’ll admit that being at home without the option to go out has its good points, but also its insane aspects. I still haven’t made a big post about all the gifts Brady has received over the last few weeks, but what I can tell you is that we have accumulated a MOUNTAIN of garbage in our garage, hahaha! But we can’t haul it away. Because we can’t go anywhere. The cardboard can burn, and probably will soon, but the huge chunks of styrofoam 🤷🏼‍♀️What does anyone do with that?? We have to figure that out, haha! Because Brady is SO ready to work in the garage and its just SO stinking messy. Now is the TIME to get things figured out and moved around and arranged in a useable way, but of course now is the time we can only help ourselves!

In that one way, anyway. We are undeniably taken care of in just about every other way. More than I ever thought we would be.

We thank you, our community, for your amazing care and warmth towards our family. We’re coming up on a year since surgery and I can tell my body remembers the struggle all too well. Yet we have never been left. Ever. God has not forgotten us, and He continues to use the people around us to bless us.

Thank you for being good neighbours.

We Joined Another Club

In the last twelve months, we have joined a lot of groups.

There is the elite group paraplegics. ✅

The cancer club. ✅

The one Cher and I laugh about a lot – Trauma club ✅ Its not quite as fun as drama club.

Aaaaand now we’ve joined yet another club. Like the others, we did not join it on purpose.

We have officially joined the covid club.

Sick Schitts Creek GIF by CBC - Find & Share on GIPHY

We just found out, and we are pretty discouraged.

So far, there is just one of us infected. This one.

He had the smallest of symptoms, the mildest sore through, but we decided to run a test, basically just so we could say we did. But then it was positive, which none of us expected. We ran a second one, which was glitchy and invalid. Third test was also positive. So its official. We’ve got it.

My first reaction was some disbelief, and it quickly moved over to “Well, let’s do this!” I felt like we would all just embrace the spread and get through it!

Except

We have chemo over here. And chemo and covid do not mix.

So while Brady is double vaxxed, he has to be extra careful. Therefore, he and Dekker wear masks in the house. Which SUCKS, but also keeps Dekker from having his fingers in his mouth or nose. Brady’s mask is for caution but also for solidarity. I too am double vaxxed, but am considering wearing a mask in the house, too. Because if Brady or I contract covid, we’re hooped.

As it stands now, we have everything we need 💜 We have a mountain of food in our pantry (remember my angry blog about putting away groceries?) and our freezers are well stocked since Christmas, as well as many gifts or meat that have been sent out way. Food wise, we are good. I have loving people who have offered to run around for things like medication, mail, and schoolwork. We’re actively running short on covid tests, which is to be expected. We were given a box of 25 earlier in the school year and I NEVER thought we’d see the bottom of that box! But my goodness, testing all seven of us has caused our supply to dwindle rapidly. I do believe, though, that there are places around town who have some to offer so we may do an all-call soon to gather up a few more.

I admit, I’m discouraged. Not even just that we have a sickness here, but that so much is on hold. Just a few days ago, I was FINALLY addressing all of our Christmas pictures. Can I still send them out? I kind of dont think so. I also had a baby gift to deliver. Can I, though? Nope. I feel like the year has just begun and I’m already late. But, God knows, and we trust Him.

This feels very vulnerable to share out loud, but we have so many beautiful people pop in from time to time, and we need to make everyone aware. Plus, with the amount of us that there are, it was bound to be pieced together at school. So rather you hear it from us than anyone else. If you have been here in the last week or so and feel concerned, I will tell you that we’ve heard the guideline to being a “close contact” is being in a small space for more than 15 minutes. Believe me that, had we known, we would have told you. We’ve been trying to tell the right people first, and now we’re telling all the people. Consider yourselves told, haha!

Carry us in prayer, friends 💜

We’ve Got Some Stuff

So. We’ve actually got a lot going on behind the scenes over here. Difficult stuff. Some we will share about soon, and some we won’t. Don’t feel left out if you don’t know. We’ll get there. Its just that our bodies, brains, and hearts don’t have a lot of extra these days. They are ALL full of different things, on top of our usual load of exhaustion. So please be patient. Pressure is the last thing we need.

We were visited by the pizza fairy yesterday. That helped a lot.

Pizzas, cucumbers, chips, and chocolate fudge graced our doorstep, and we all ate like royalty. Brady and I closed supper off by busting out some old school Veggietales tunes for the kids. And I do mean we sang them by heart like true children of the 90s. We had a riot, and the kids laughed and laughed. It was a good light moment that I think we all needed and welcomed.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mountain of random blue and green yarn that needs to be tied up into something before I can justify buying more! 💙💚

Happy Monday, friends.

Photo Dump of the New Year

Todays post holds many photos that didn’t manage to make the blog over the last few weeks, as well as some things I saved that jumped out at me. All completely unrelated but very much worth sharing. Some more than others, haha! Anywho, I hope you enjoy an easy read/watch! And Carol – you who can never see the pictures – I’m so sorry!! Maybe try a different internet browser? Chrome, Safari, etc. Let me know if they work!

First one is a memory that came up on Facebook. Name that baby, folks!

Here is one of Laela and Rowan doing puzzles together. These two are hot and cold sometimes because they are frightfully similar. They can fight harder than any of the rest, but when they play well, they play beautifully. This was a particularly beautiful time.

I was so happy when I took this picture, hahaha! I made the worlds yummiest party mix this Christmas, and I made SO much of it. And then I ate it until there wasn’t a speck left to eat. And then I bought the stuff to buy more… Anyway, in this picture, I was eating good food and crocheting the plaid blanket I was so excited about 🙂 You guys all had me feeling SO good about that one 💜 Thank you.

This one was another Facebook memory. Wavy’s sis month photos. Goodness she was SO gorgeous. I will always remember this picture as the first thing I ever posted on fb that Tom liked 💜I felt like we had really done something right, haha!

This is Dekker’s recent drawing of circuits and what he figured the bottom of a rc car looks like.

Ah yes, the beautiful bonuses of sitting next to the lefty at the table 😍 My beautiful Rowan.

Dekker LOVES Waverly, and its like she knows it and wants him to chase her. But man, when he gets her, they are GOLDEN together!

Wavy got a microwavable penguin for Christmas. She named her Sunny. I love that, because as a kid, I had a Sunny! And she loves that thing – almost as much as I loved mine.

A throwback to our engagement pictures 💜 This one was my absolute favorite.

This meme could not be more relatable. I laughed really, really hard 😆

Ugh. This little lady sleeps sooooo sweet.

She also awakes so sweet, haha! She tried to walk with Brady’s brace that goes waaay up to her waist. Fun fact, wearing that brace, she does walk like Brady! Hahahaha! (Bonus giggle for Brady’s mug, lol)

Again, my food. This was my lunch many times over the last couple of weeks. Sangria and party mix. No regrets.

I don’t know what it was about this text conversation I stole off the internet but MAN did I laugh, hahaha!

The internet showed me this as a holiday blanket, and I kind of love it, so I saved the picture. I’d make the orange more red and add some green in there, but I love the pink and blue accents!

The most lovely picture ever taken, hands down. No clearer message ever sent. 💜

I hope you enjoyed this super quick, easy post. We have some big ole private fish to fry right now, so I’m welcoming ease any way I can get it!

Enjoy the last day of your weekend, guys!

Productiffity

Yup. I changed the spelling. It means being productive when you feel iffy.

After yesterday’s post, you were all completely lovely and warm to me. Many of you commented, private messaged me, or texted me to either encourage me, validate me, or even cheer me up. My friends, I thank you. I see your efforts and your kind words. Calling on Alex K, your comment was SO unbelievably loving. You catalogued it all and validated exactly how I was feeling. I could read how much effort you put into that, and I really love and appreciate that you did 💜 Thank you. To all of you – thank you for your warmth and understanding.

I slept very hard last night, which comes with an emotionally exhausting day, as well as getting my meds back on track. Side note here, guys. Do NOT take a nighttime med in the morning. Do NOT do that. Because then you can’t even start sorting things out until the evening of the next day! Its the worst. While I can still feel some small effects from that, at least I’m back to sleeping properly!

This morning, the kids got up, dressed, fed, and scampered out the door across the street to Tom and Rae’s. These days off are just a dream, and we are completely overwhelmed with gratefulness for them.

Brady has been having so much fun in the garage, setting up his space and working on a project he’s really excited about. I’ve been inside, crocheting, as you’d expect. I finished up another project that isn’t for me this time, that I’m really eager to get out the door. Once that one was done, I turned on a show I’ve watched a handful of times and know well (Schitt’s Creek) and I got to work tidying up the natural disaster that was crocheting Christmas gifts until the last possible day. It was a wreck and I wasn’t letting down as easily in the evening, tripping overtop of everything. But its WAY tidier now, and I’m SO relieved to have had kid-free time to work on it. *deep breath*

I know, it still looks really full. There is actually quite a bit more space in it than their used to be. Plus most of my Christmas projects needed specific colors. I’m excited to start using up some of the stuff I have on hand, and creating beautiful things.

My current crochet queue is free! But I have LOTS of ideas, so if you want something made sooner than later, speak up! I am never – I repeat, never – not crocheting.

Kids will be back soon! Better keep at it!

One of Those Moments: Grocery Shopping

Brady and I decided to duck into Saskatoon for a few staple groceries we were lacking. We have barely grocery shopped for ourselves this last year, and that has been incredibly relieving. However, today it needed to happen. We had zero milk and zero fresh crunchy stuff. So, extreme cold warning or not, it was time.

Weather conditions weren’t the ideal, but we weren’t in a rush. Walmart #1 did not have everything we needed, so we had no choice but to venture further into Saskatoon to Walmart #2, inevitably lengthening our time in Saskatoon, resulting in us having to stop to pick up lunch for the little ones.

So we did that, still leaving our shop without a couple of important things, spent more money than we wanted to, and got home late. It was a bit exhausting by the end of it, to be honest. Sometimes I forget I cannot push through everything the way I used to. I have to be smarter.

We got home, and I went in to put the little ones down for naps. Brady backed up to the garage and insisted on unloading some groceries in the garage in an effort to get that door closed up again as soon as possible.

Once kids were tucked, I jogged back to the entrance and got my boots on. Everything was just soaked and freezing. In the garage, I learned that Brady had slipped while getting groceries in. Praise the Lord he didn’t actually fall and hurt himself!! He lost his balance and managed to catch himself, but he dropped a milk, and it split on the handle.

Ok. No big deal. We’ve all had this happen, I am sure of it. Thus began the quick effort to figure it all out. I tried to pick it up and move quickly, but it was just pouring out. So I ran for a couple of glasses and figured we could pour some out right there in the garage. I tried to open the milk and it was instantly all over me. Just messy and sticky and freezing cold. Brady came over and started pouring. But then we needed another glass. Into the house, boots soaking on the entrance floor, up the stairs, grabbed another glass, back down, boots back on, wet feet, in the garage.

We played that game a couple of times. It was just exhausting. Finally, the milk was low enough that I brought it in, wiped if off, and put it in the door. Of course, putting it into the door had it pouring out more. I didn’t even care. I shut the door. So. So. Sooooo over it.

Brady stayed out in the garage and I bawled in my kitchen. I was really angry, but really, about nothing, and I knew it. Its just these funny moments that show up and poke at me, and remind me how much has changed and how alone I feel sometimes.

Please hear what I’m saying simply as honest grief. I’ve had the pleasure of some people suggesting that me sharing openly about struggle is really just an attack or pointing fingers and placing blame. I trust the majority of you can hear my heart on this. If you don’t, please feel free to show yourselves out.

Mark my words. One day we will live in a house where the driveway leads directly into the garage which leads directly to the entrance which leads directly to the house with NO BARRIERS! These days and situations are what fire me up about how badly we need to move.

Yet, we trust God. It is undeniable that He is in control of our lives, as He watches out for us so closely. But goodness. Some days it just hits you like a ton of bricks.

Or like a jug of milk.