So Hailey encouraged me to tell you all about my most recent experience with the fine people at The Maker Community Project.
The other night they were announcing the winner of a contest they ran to raise money buy giving away a CNC to a very lucky recipient on Instagram.
They had done gone Live on Instagram on a previous occasion to announce the winner of a previous contest and had asked me to come watch and pay attention which I was happy to do. They announced they were going to go live again to announce the winner of the CNC.
So again I was watching their Instagram Live stream. Pretty quickly they started hinting that they wanted me in the live stream and the invitation popped up on my phone. I was very excited and accepted quickly.
Now it’s not like I was live in front of a large number of people, there was only 100 or so people watching, but it still felt like an honour to be invited.
I briefly spoke about how I became paraplegic and how I’m making an effort to become a woodworker. They took a moment to rib me about my beard pencil schtick. (I stick a pencil in my beard when I take pictures and videos for Instagram). And then I was just a part of the group when the winner was announced. Over 30,000 entries had be made in the form of merchandise purchases as well as straight up donations. They announced that over $16,000 had be raised in just 2 months! Crazy!
It was a very exciting moment! We cheered and clapped and pretty shortly they asked me to leave the live stream so that they could ask the winner to join. Which is totally understandable and I gladly ended my feed so the winner could join. It was an excellent experience to be a part of.
Shortly thereafter they ended the live stream entirely and my 15 minutes of fame were over.
But I really enjoyed it! I’m hoping to be able to join them again in the future.
There are still many things Dekker does that continues to melt my heart. Sometimes he will put little notes under my door when I stay over to study for exams. One thing Dekker really loves to do is scare me. So some of his notes literally say “BOO!” It’s no secret at the Born house that anything can scare me. And yes, Dekker.. When I looked over and saw a piece of paper under my door, I thought it was moving so I jumped! No word of a lie!
For the past couple years I have made colouring books for the kids and asked that when they’re done colouring the pages that they write their name on it and slip it back into the sleeve so I can have a little portfolio for them. I have a Christmas binder and a regular binder that I try to stay on top of.
I brought them both home to restock them, and out of Laela’s pocket that had the math problems to solve as the key for the colour codes, out popped a little note from Dekker, telling her she is smart. It was SO cute. Dekker is SUCH an encouragement, and I think that’s where Waverly gets it from. ALL the kids are lovely and give compliments, but Waverly really goes out of her way to appreciate people and single them out the way Dekker does.
I really love you Dekker! I still have many notes from you and they make my heart happy! You are SUCH an easy kid to love!
Brady had his seventh MRI last night. Do you remember when he couldn’t get one?!?! It seems that cancer of the spine is seen as a solid enough reason to have regular scans, and while we are not naive to the risks that come alongside regular radiation, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to have a serious medical team who wants to watch Brady for the rest of his life.
While Brady was living in the rehab ward at City Hospital, we met another patient there who also was paralyzed thanks to a tumour in her spine. However, this was her second go round. She had one years ago, and had recovered so well that they stopped monitoring her. By the time they discovered regrowth, removal was much harder, and her previously incomplete injury was completed. This means that she has no nerve communication left from her spine down below her height of injury. No movement, no sensation, nada. Because her medical team stopped watching her. So please hear me. I am SO happy that Brady will be scanned regularly. Heck, its amazing he’s not glowing after so many of these suckers!
Maybe you saw our stories on Instagram, and maybe not. I was really struggling with apprehension. One of the MRI machines at RUH had broken, so his day and time were bumped up a bit, but he had to go to the hospital we are the least familiar with, in the heart of the ghetto, in the dead of night. So that was unsettling. But we got there! Of course, we got to the front doors FOUR MINUTES after they were closed for the night 🙄 So we got him back into the van and went to emergency, where he was admitted. But he had to wait in the emergency room! And they had insisted he arrive 45 minutes early! This is not an especially safe place to be as it is, and hanging out in the ER is pretty sketchy and vulnerable. But he was safe, and I drove out of that place as quickly as I could.
I lurked in a nearby (but not too near) Walmart parking lot. I crocheted, watched a show, and texted/chatted with some of my people 💜Thank you to those who checked in on me. I really appreciated that.
Brady’s scan was shorter than expected! It was about an hour and twenty minutes long, and its been up to three hours in the past, I think. I chose to believe that was good news, and I was very excited to pick him up!
The two handicapped spots at the entrance of emergency were filled with people just standing around who had no interest in moving as I sat with my signal light blinking. Finally I just started driving in, and they meandered over into the next spot. I texted Brady I was there, not about to leave my vehicle open and running. He was there within a minute, and we took off together.
Kind of bizarre when a late night MRI counts as a date night, hey? Haha!
Aaaaanyway, I won’t leave anyone hanging. You guys know we have a really good thing with our doctor, so I texted her this morning and asked if she’d keep an eye out for results. They only actually get sent to her office a day or two later, but they’re online for her viewing earlier, so we often get our results as soon as she can find them. I texted her mid-late morning, and she texted me right before noon excitedly, saying she’d look right away.
And then there was no response for over a half hour. 🤮 So while I refused to nag her, anxiety was building.
But then she texted Brady and I in a group with the most beautiful news 🥺
“I am looking at dec 12 mri results on ehealth and they look great! The spot they have been following at T10 is less evident and they actually question if it is there anymore!!”
That stupid spec has been hanging over us since Brady’s surgery. There has been so much speculation over it. It could be leftover tumour. It could be new growth. It could be a stitch that didn’t dissolve. It could be scar tissue, or blood, or displaced tissue of literally any kind. It is what we’ve been watching so closely, as just about everyone we’ve encountered in the medical world is waiting for it to grow into another cancerous mass. It has remained stable all along, which is better than it growing, but still. It loomed.
And now
💨
Its gone. Or pretty freaking close to gone.
Guys, there is NO scientific explanation for this. Believe what you will, but I KNOW this was an act of God! The strongest, most miraculous reminder that He cares for us, literally down to the tiniest little spec of who knows what inside of our bodies. I am incredibly grateful for that. I’m SO glad its not up to me to fix. Thank you Lord!
I am both immensely relieved, and also about 20 years older than I was before that text came through.
If I don’t go grey before the end of the year, I never will.
You may or may not know, but I’ve spent the last few months trying to sort out my medications. In late September, I started a new antidepressant in hopes that it would basically solve all of my problems. Haha! That sounds like an exaggeration, but it kind of isn’t, actually.
What I was on originally – sertraline – was not doing enough for me. I was still having regular anxiety attacks. I had horrible heartburn, and I couldn’t stomach more than a couple of bites of food at a meal. I was throwing up in the nights. I wasn’t sleeping. I. Was not. Well. Period.
Thus began the process of weening off Sertraline and starting something new. Mirtazapine, for those who want to know. It is a far lesser known antidepressant, categorized as an atypical treatment for depression complicated by anxiety and/or insomnia. It is most commonly prescribed to old, frail people who barely eat who are deeply depressed. Well, this year has aged me greatly so that all lines up! Hahaha!
Mirtazapine is also an anomaly in the way of doseage. The lower your dose, the drowsier you are. Backwards, right? So going up in your dosage means you are less drowsy. Its a little bonkers, I know.
I have settled into this new medication beautifully. I’ve been able to start getting fully off of Sertraline. I don’t take nausea medication at all anymore, which is HUGE. I haven’t had heartburn in weeks. I’ve gained about ten pounds, which I am actually incredibly grateful for! I sleep! The one issue I’m having is that I am beyond incoherent in the mornings. Sometimes I sleep through the entire time with the kids and leave Brady hanging on his own. I thought my body would familiarize and eventually do better in the mornings, but it hasn’t. So just a couple of days ago, I spoke to Dr. Guselle about this.
And she loved and approved my plan!
I was taking half of the lowest dose of mertazapine available. I asked to move up to the full pill, which is still a very low dose. Remember, moving UP in the dose will make me LESS tired. We agreed that messing with two medications at once wasn’t smart, so we decided I would pause any changes with Sertraline until I was settled into my new dose of mertazapine. (I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to keep organized in the brain, trust me 🙃) Dr. Guselle did tell me, however, that I should notice a change in my drowsiness very quickly. For sure by a week, she said. I was thrilled that it wasn’t another 4-6 week timeline I was looking at. We had a really encouraging phone call, and I feel incredibly hopeful that I could be off of sertraline by the end of the year, and my heartburn meds early in January. To clarify, I could go off of those anytime, but I’m being SO gentle on my body, and going off of things slowly and carefully, so I don’t suffer any more than I absolutely have to. I hope that makes sense.
I take my mertazapine before bed. I took my first full pill dose the evening of my phone call with Dr. Guselle. No change, which made complete sense. I was still a zombie in the morning.
I took my second full dose last night. This morning, I woke up tired, and then got up.
Right.
Up.
Guys, I wasn’t a zombie this morning!!!!
I could’ve cried. This is a gigantic change. And please believe me when I say this is not something that just changed because my attitude did. This is not something I can blow past. I would lay in bed and sleep through everything, but if I did wake up, I would know I needed to get up, but physically be unable to move, and as a result of that, I would be more anxious. It was awful.
I am SO relieved.
Thank you, Lord, for preparing my heart for these things, and these changes. For opening me up to my needs for outside help, and for directing my doctor to think of uncommon options. This feels like a choice I couldn’t have made without faith in You!
We were gifted yet another kid-free day at home. They once again spent the day across the street with our dear friends, baking cookies, playing inside and outside, eating yummy food, and everything else that goes on over there. Meanwhile, Brady did woodworking out in the garage, I crocheted upstairs, and Cher worked on school stuff downstairs. The house was so quiet, and we all really liked it.
None of us were just relaxing. We were all working hard at our things. Yet I’m suspecting there won’t be too many days left this year where we just sit and breathe! So I’m soaking in the moments that feel a little bit more restful 🙂 A day of just crocheting felt great 💜And I am so grateful for our willing people who happily ask to take the kids for the day.
Conveniently, I made a really yummy supper today for the three of us left at home, and I made enough for everyone! So tomorrows supper is already made! Cha-ching!
Yes, its as cozy as it looks, but its possibly less relaxed than it looks. I don’t want to say I’m overwhelmed with all I have left to do, but I can say I don’t have a lot of extra time or energy, so I’m having to be intentional with time spent and rest taken. Ask anyone around me. I don’t do much outside of the house at this point. Not a lot of recreational time spent.
I still have some organizing to do of details for the upcoming season. I have a few more gifts to buy which I hope to be organized enough to pick up all in one shop. I have some crocheting to finish up that is definitely doable, as long as I keep my head down and work diligently. I have delegated when I can and let a few things go 💜 Thats been hard. But its happened, and I’m grateful for it. I still need to get in touch with the people participating in the homemade gift exchange and make sure everything is getting where it needs to. I need to wash up a few things we’ve purchased second hand for the kids, and tie up some little loose ends here and there as needed.
It is all doable. We have two weeks.
So if you can’t find me, check my room first, or under any pile of yarn you can find.
My heart was filled with joy yesterday. I am so overwhelmingly proud of Dekker. He is breaking trail in the most beautiful ways.
It snowed for a good few hours yesterday. It wasn’t especially cold, so it wasn’t miserable out. Once the kids were home from school, I asked Dekker if he would be willing to shovel our sidewalk. He was absolutely willing, partly because of his beautiful heart, and partly because of our exciting shovel 😆 On our local garage sale day in spring, we picked up the worlds oldest snow throwing shovel for a cool $3 😎Dekker played with it the other day, and got a kick out of it. He is a very official kind of guy, so when I asked him if he would shovel the sidewalk, he inquired, “Uuuh, with the Turbo Shovel?” Yes, with the Turbo Shovel. And he was GONE.
It took a little figuring to get it moving. Its pretty rattly, so either there’s a rock in it or its a little broken. But I bonked it on the concrete a couple of times, and we got it working!
Once he got into the swing of it, he was totally happy. I had mentioned that it would be nice to shovel for others, so as soon as he was done our sidewalk, he made his way over across the street to Tom and Rae’s.
Guys. Nothing thrills my heart more.
He was in no rush either. He worked consistently and did his very best. Sure, he just blew all the snow onto the street, which isn’t ideal, but he was in a groove and I had zero plans to go correct him. Maybe next time I’ll direct him, but this was too good!
He ran home in between because he had run out of cord. Most of our cords are tied up in Brady’s tools, but we found him a little bit more length and he ran back to finish the job to the best of his ability.
It. Was. TOO. CUTE.
He came home very happily, and put his stuff away nicely. He came back into the house and changed out of his wet jeans. And then he snuggled in to read until supper. He didn’t toot his own horn or make a big show of what he had done. He just did a loving thing and moved forward, not worried if any of us had seen or if he had been praised up. He didn’t do it for show. He did it to be loving.
Its important to learn that we do good things from our hearts, not from our heads. We don’t do them for praise, but to be good people. We don’t do them for people, but for God. I learned this a harder way as a child, through disappointment and tears. I am beyond grateful that my children can learn it in a beautiful way, and to be met with love and acknowledgement.
Thank you, Dekker, for being such a willing boy, and for teaching your siblings beautiful things! 💜
You might remember, and you might not, but around my birthday I was flip flopping between buying myself a yarn winder or a particular set of crochet hooks. The hooks were $100 out of Michaels, so I was waiting for one of those trust 40% off coupons to come around and make them a more viable option, but when it didn’t, I got antsy and chose the ball winder.
I was right. This thing has made my yarn WAY tidier and I’m really happy with my choice.
That being said, I’ve crocheted a ton this year, probably more than ever, and I’ve began looking back towards the new hooks. Christmas is coming, you know.
When I looked really good and close at the set I’ve been eyeballing, I realized that, besides the soft ergonomic handles, I had all the same sizes. They were pretty much exactly what I had, but WAY more money. I had hoped for a winder range of sizes, and was disappointed to see they didn’t go any bigger than the set I was using.
So I ventured over the Amazon to see what I could see, and I came across THESE! 🙌
This hook set came with fourteen hooks, ranging from 2mm – 10mm. My previous hook set carried up to 6mm size, and then I had one hook that is a size 11mm. Could this set be more perfect??
Actually, they can be more perfect. Know how? They were only $20!!!
Something I didn’t really anticipate about having these soft grippy handles was that I naturally hold them WAY looser! I didn’t realize how tightly I held my regular aluminum hooks until I realized I hadn’t have to tighten any muscles to keep these in hand!
I want everyone I know who crochets to own these. Buy them here! No kickbacks for me, I promise. Just buy them, because they are SO much more comfy! I almost want to buy a second set to keep in the van because, as you know, I crochet everywhere.
I’m excited enough about these that the kids still thank Jesus for them when they pray before bed. They’re a big deal.
We were given the lovely gift of a kid-free Saturday this past weekend. That is always a win, not only because we get uninterrupted time at home for working on projects, we can listen to whatever music we’d like, watch any show, and not referee anyone. Its hugely restful.
Meanwhile, the kids are fortunate to have face time with people outside of their home who love them, care about them, and do things with them! Fresh attention! So its really a gift for our whole family 💜
While the kids were away decorating a tree, baking, and playing, our home was silent. Lol!
Brady worked on a project. Go follow his ICS Insta if you’re not already to see more about it! 😏 Shameless plug.
Cher studied and did schoolwork. Finals are just around the corner!! Ack!
And I worked on a blanket that needs to be done before Christmas! I may have grey hair by the end of this one!
The three of us would text from time to time, updating one another or asking questions. It was fun being together apart. We all got a lot done 🙂
Aaaaall because people offered to take our kids for the day. 💜 What a HUGE gift. Thank you again, Tom and Rae.
