Brady and I needed to run into Saskatoon for a couple of things this morning. Cher lovingly offered for us to leave early to go have a little breakfast date, and she got the kids out the door and off to school. It was SUCH a nice offer, and we readily took her up on it!
We left shortly after 8am and hit Grainfields for food. Before we even were seated, a man approached us and commented that he had seen us on tv 😆 It was a good little giggle we shared, but were seated seconds later. We ate a really delicious breakfast together.
He’s sitting all scrunched because I couldn’t get everything in the picture without cutting the top of his head off, lol!
Our food was yummy, and we took our time, but still made it to his blood appointment on time. I debated going into the mall and killing some time while he had his blood draw, but it was in and out in less than five minutes! SO fast! From there, we ran to Michaels and got some yarn for a gift I’m making, as well as for an order that was put in a while ago that I simply could not find the right yarn for. I have it all on hand now! (Haven’t forgotten you basket people, I promise! Still actively working!)
While we ran around and did errands, Cher play with Solly and Wavy. They did puzzles and ate spaghetti.
Just try to tell me Solly isn’t a carbon copy of Brady!
Who is SO good at puzzles?!
It was a very cute, very productive morning. Of course, on our drive home, we realized we forgot some things, but we’ll be in the city at least once more this week anyway, so we can do those things then 💜 For today, it was just really nice to take our time, and actually go into stores together.
One hour until the kids get home! To crocheting I go!
Brady and I enjoy sending gifs and memes in general, but even more so on valentines, and its become something of a battle. Whoever wins receives absolutely nothing, yet still, we fight for that first place title!
You probably can guess, but we did not do a valentines battle last year. Though we could’ve, because we definitely had the time, with Brady stuck in a hospital bed day in and day out. Buuuuut neither of us were feeling particularly funny. This year, we caught up.
And it was nice!
So naturally, I’m here to share it with you!
Brady kicked it off before I was even awake. He started with Parks and Rec. We LOVE Parks and Rec.
And as I was looking for a response, he stole the one I was going to use and sent it first! Colin Mochrie for the win.
He isn’t wrong. I do.
I went cute and sent him these 😉 I guess I should say I went cheesy…
Bradys mushroom was next…
And then another cheese one from me, because I like cheese, and Brady likes to fart.
We both seemed to like the food ones this year…
From Brady…
From me…
If you noticed, our day yesterday was VERY full, so we would go longer stretches between texts. But he popped back in with a cute one.
And I countered with one that played into the fact that I both am cold and also crochet.
Then stuff got a little weird for a minute.
Brady with butter.
Me with a wrench 🤷🏼♀️
The Brady spammed me with FOUR! I like to think he was compensating for the fact that I usually win.
I felt pretty emotional about it all.
And told him how I felt.
He came and smooched me…
And I smooched him back.
He told me he loved me.
And I told him I loved his butt.
I figured I won with the last one, but the battle continued.
I jumped in with some Parks and Rec romance.
And he came back with The Princess Bride.
Strong play, Brady.
I told him I liked him.
And he likes me too. Or at least he thinks I’m cute.
I agreed.
I think he thought he had pretty much taken it at that point, but I sent my last one.
And I won 💜 Brady said so.
The battle was over for the day, though no blood was spilled.
Brady, its fun to battle you from the same side 😘 I love you on Valentines Day and absolutely EVERY other day!!!
I promise. I don’t give Valentines Day a lot of stock. You do NOT have to like Valentines Day to be here. I agree that its a way to make money and force us to buy things and such. I get it. I think if its the ONLY day of the year you are given affection or attention from your person, then thats not right. I think its nice to be sweet and attentive as possible regularly. But if its not your strong suit, and you think of it on Valentines Day, go for it. You do you, wherever you fall on the spectrum of feelings.
Last year on this day, Brady was still in RUH’s neuro ward. He was sharing a room with three other men who were all WAY older than him and in WAY better condition. They could get around on their own, do most everything on their own, and they would be gone in a day or two. And then there Brady was, flat on his back, for eight days.
That was the ONE DAY I wore makeup to the hospital.
Well. Thats a lie. I wore the same makeup the next day (don’t judge me) and bawled it off on the drive home after learning that someone had texted Brady and suggested I wasn’t Christian enough in my blogs. 🙄😔😭 So that sucked. I don’t care to hold a grudge, but some of that garbage is hard to forget.
This years Valentine’s Day has been a lot less disruptive or crushing, haha! 🙃 We had coffee and breakfast with Cher, which was a really nice kickoff. Then Brady and I took Solly and Wavy to Saskatoon for a Home Depot/Michaels run, because those are a thing we do now that are totally justified and a lot of fun!
We’ll spend the evening with my mom and Cher, eating good food and enjoying good company. The nine of us make a really good group 💜 Definitely some of my absolute favorite people!
Brady, I love you. I vastly prefer you being home than at the hospital. Last year I was put together, and you were not. This year, you’re put together and I’m not. But I know you love me anyway.
Have a happy (or not happy) Valentines (or not Valentines) day! 💜
I really prefer to get our Christmas cards out the door before I share our family pictures on here. Ideally, it happens right at the end of the year, in December, when everyone already has the pictures. However, it didn’t happen this year, and sadly, the photos feel pretty old now.
That all being said, we are still the same people we were last fall when Cher took these pictures of us, and of ALL years, this was the year I was more determined than ever to reach out to as many people as I could who had put into our lives. This was the most important year to get cards out! So, they’re late, but they’re out! We mailed a bunch out, and dropped a bunch off around town. I’m still looking for a handful more addresses, but the bulk of it is done, so I can finally show you some of our pictures!
Actually, before the pictures pictures, I got these adorable, soft pictures of Laela and Wavy.
Yes, they are cozy. Sweats and neutrals. We went comfy on purpose. We earned some comfort! Hahaha!
Cher absolutely crushed our family photos this year. We had them done in maybe 10-15 minutes. It was fast and silly, and the kids cooperated beautifully! We hit just two spots at our lake. First was the big swing by the ark park…
And then back at our campsite, by our wood pile. Do you like our star? I asked Brady to make one because Christmas, hahaha!
You can even see the smoke from our fire in this one 🙂 Man these pictures bring me back!
Do you also see the the “C” on my hoodie is covered, so it proudly pronounces “I’m old” to the world? Yup. Couldn’t put these ones on the card, thats for sure!
We bribed the kids with cookies after pictures, and while they ate them, we tried to get a couple pictures of just Brady and I 💜
The kids weren’t doing especially well, and Wavy took it upon herself to cheer the group up. A cookie in both hands, she ran into the picture and started dancing. It was SO funny!
It was a really really nice day together 💜
Thank you, Cher, for taking these pictures for us 💜 You give us such a gift every single time you do.
We wrapped it up watching the sun go down at the beach.
Now that you’ve all shared in our beautiful day…
Get mailboxes. Thats an order. No more trying to delicately fit cards into window trim without messing up weatherstripping. Next year, its going to be painters tape on windows. You’ve been warned.
Brady and I have been watching House again. We watched it years ago, and as my anxiety mounted over those years, shows like that left me too stressed out to sleep. The fact that we can easily watch it now says one of two things. Either my mental health is perfect (HA!) and I can more easily separate from that stuff. Or it means our life has been traumatic enough that the stuff on tv doesn’t even come close to our reality. (ding ding ding!) Lol! Feeling a little dark today, pardon me.
Since all of our hospital stuff and our new medical knowledge, medical shows are more enjoyable. I’m not saying they’re realistic, but definitely easier to predict. Its actually really funny how often someone will have some weird symptom and we can pinpoint the direction the show is moving in. Apparently everyone who twitches has a neurological condition, everyone at one point or another will cough up blood, and no one, EVER, will have lupus, though they consider it for absolutely every case.
We giggle.
The other day I had a good laugh over an episode opening scene. A female patient had come in with spontaneous paraplegia. From the waist down, she had lost all feeling and movement. Then someone called the doctor into her room urgently with a discovery. They proceeded to stab her knee with a needle, and her leg twitched.
Everyone was agast! WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?!?!
And Dr. House, looking very serious, says “It means she’s not paralyzed.”
And we paused the show and had a GOOD laugh! Not because we think anyone is stupid, but because it was just so funny to see a doctor on a medical show NOT KNOW what paralysis is!!
This has motivated me to share a lesson with you guys! You might already have pieced it together over the last year, but in case you didn’t, I’m going to give you some info that I also probably wouldn’t know if not faced with what we’ve experienced in the world of paraplegia.
A complete spinal cord injury (SCI) means that the spinal cord has been severed. To my understanding, that leaves a person without ANY feeling or ANY function below their height of injury.
However…
An incomplete spinal cord injury does exist! This is what Brady has 🙂 It means that his spinal cord remains in tact. In Brady’s case, his tumour had eaten away some of his right spinal cord. By removing the tumour, a piece of his spinal cord went with it. But just a piece. With that, Brady’s nerves were badly damaged in his surgery. Not because of bad surgical work, but because they just had to be. NONE of them were severed! This is a really big deal, and a huge win for him!
While Brady has been branded with the lovely title of “permanently paralyzed,” his paralysis is NOT a completely numb thing.
If you stab Brady’s knee with a needle, it will twitch.
If Brady’s leg has an itch, it twitches like crazy.
If Brady’s leg has rain fall on it, it twitches.
And I can promise you he is indeed paralyzed.
Thats really all I have to say. Paralysis doesn’t mean he is numb. Its even defined as such. Paralysis refers to “the loss of ability to move (and sometimes to feel) in part or most of the body.” It specifies “in part.” Also only sometimes does it affect the feeling. Its a very wide definition. It can be very simply defined as a problem moving the body, due to disease or injury.
A paraplegic is someone who has full or partial paralysis of the legs and lower body.
A quadriplegic is someone who has full or partial paralysis including both arms and both legs.
Thats really all I wanted to say. There is such a HUGE amount of information out there, and I know we wouldn’t know the tip of the iceberg having not lived through it ourselves. I know how hard our close people work to really know about SCIs and paraplegia and wheelchair usage and accessibility and all that good stuff. So please, if you have a question, ask! Don’t feel silly 🙂 We would LOVE to educate the people who follow along and who want to know!
I’m closing the blog off by stealing a bit from an old blog, because I think it ties it all in.
*
The level, or the ‘”height of injury.” This is labelling the highest post of his spine that was affected by his injury. There are four sections of the spine. The upper back is the cervical spine (C), ribs are thoracic (T), lower is lumbar (L), and the very lowest is sacral (S). From the section of spine, then, its counted by vertebrae. Brady’s tumour affected his T7-T11 vertebrae, but the surgery began at T6.
The height of Brady’s injury is T6.
Lastly, SCIs are either complete or incomplete. Believe it or not, complete is worse. “Complete” means the spinal cord was fully severed at the height of injury. Brady is fortunate to have an incomplete injury, meaning that he still has nerve function between his brain and the part of his body below the injury.
All of this being said, in the medical world, Brady’s SCI is a T6 incomplete.
With the very heavy week weighing hard on me, you may have noticed I’ve been a tad one track minded 😆 Oof. We’re still there, but I figured I’d tell you a couple of other things from the last few days.
We went to Home Depot the other day to find an item for my that will bump my crocheting up yet another level. Albeit a small level, it still counts 🙂 Yay professionalism!
Speaking of crocheting, baskets are still coming along nicely!
The same day as our run to Home Depot, we got side swiped by a semi. That really sucked. He tore our mirror off and kept on driving. We drove next to him until we were stopped at a red light. Brady got his attention and they both rolled down their windows. He denied responsibility, muttered something under his breath, and took off. Sooooo we chased him and got his info and called his boss. Still working on getting that sorted out. The repair will either cost us $200 in deductibles or it will cost them $1100 to keep it private. We’ll see.
Rowan brought home his new years resolutions. I loved this one. He’s doing a lot of thinking these days. I have to talk more about him again soon. He had a really thorough, informative doctors appointment the other day, finally.
Anniversary food was big ole steak with blue cheese on top. And crispy parm potatoes, which I wholeheartedly recommend making, because they are crazy easy, crazy good, and finger food. YUM! The cheese looks mouldy but it is ridiculously good. It makes a very basic steak seem super fancy.
The day we went out on a date, Cher watched the kids, and she made snowmen with Laela and Wavy! None of the boys wanted to go outside, but the weather was WAY too nice to stay inside, so the ladies went out for a bit and made snowmen!
The last picture you saw yesterday. Brady’s physio appointment was such an encouragement. Even with WAY too long of a stretch of time between appointments, considering Christmas and covid, Brady had made beautiful progress. His hips were stronger. His right ankle was stronger. His walking was better. His physiotherapist hadn’t even had the chance to see him since he got his new brace, so there was a lot to catch up on. Meanwhile, throughout his appointment, many other therapists would interrupt the conversation and say they saw our ad on tv. Everyone was SO excited and encouraging. They were all happy to have finally seen the kids, too, which felt warm and personal. Our social worker was even there and stopped to chat for a bit about our lives and details. I have to say, we are incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to be situated at that particular rehab facility. It is an incredible warm, loving, positive place. Once you’re in there, you always have those relationships, it seems. I am so grateful for the people working at City Hospital on the 7th floor rehab.
Its been a FULL week. Oof. Waking up this morning, every joint in my body was weak and exhausted. I could hardly move. But soon, my body will find true rest again, and the days will feel more normal now.
Hopefully the two year mark doesn’t hit quite this hard 😅
I have nothing to defend. I know this with confidence. But I will be honest and say posts like todays post are HARD to write out for a number of reasons. It is hard to recount traumatic events. It is hard to press myself to write eloquently when my heart, brain, and body are grossly overloaded. It is HARD to be vulnerable with my feelings when I know for a fact there are people who read along who overtly dislike me. It is HARD to share personal things sometimes. But I’m going to try.
I have felt apprehensive about this day for a while now. I think that makes sense. Brady and I have both sensed last years events in our bodies for a couple of days now. We are fatigued in a different way. Our bodies are stressed. One year ago, in this moment right now, Brady was under the knife, receiving a life altering surgery. One year ago today, our lives were shaken up and changed undeniably.
I will absolutely NEVER forget that day.
Hugging Brady and sending him off alone to go have his surgery felt like I was sending him off to war. Truly. I only bawled publicly and alone in the hospital mall for a moment or two before my dear friend, Carrie, showed up from around a corner and scooped me up in a hug. We both cried. It sucked, but I was so relieved to have her. 💜
I lurked at the hospital all afternoon, waiting to hear from Brady’s surgeon. It took hours. It felt like weeks. But it happened. His surgeon called me to tell me he was through surgery. He said he felt hopeful that he might’ve gotten it all, but that his tumour was worse than he had anticipated. He said he had very little hope, if any, for his right leg. He told me its possible Brady would never regain any use of his right leg. Ever. These were scary times. But I was just so relieved that he was through.
With God’s hand in his healing, Brady has defied all the odds, and has worked HARD to regain more function than anyone thought he would have. His legs continue to strengthen, pleasantly surprising ALL health care professionals along the way.
Today, we found ourselves at City Hospital for a very overdue rehab appointment. As Brady did his exercises and as his physio was SO encouraged by his progress, I was hit over and over by the fact that his legs work the way they do. They both work! Sure, they work differently. They both are completely different in what they can and cannot do. But an entire leg wasn’t supposed to work anymore, and it does!!!
This one, in fact.
This leg right here that Brady is able to lift from the hip, even against some resistance, was never ever going to move independently again. And look 💜 It does.
Surgery was both a hard choice and an easy choice. We knew the surgery carried a possibility that Brady would be left paralyzed. But not doing the surgery would leave the fast growing cancer cells free to climb up to their choice location – the brain. I remember stumbling over my words and saying to Dr. Fourney “We can’t not do it, hey?” And he shook his head and said something along the lines of “There is no time to waste.”
One year ago, we chose Brady’s life over his legs, and our life has only richened since then. God has created Brady in His image, and we trust with ALL of our hearts that His plan is far greater than we have ever pictured! I am incredibly excited to see where He takes us because we can say with confidence – we have NO IDEA where that is yet!
God gives and takes away, but we continue to praise His name 💜
Thank you, Lord, for bringing us through this wild, stormy weather. Our hearts and arms are open to whatever or wherever You bring us next!
We have felt so much love and care over these last couple of days. I mean, more so the last year, but I’m speaking specifically about the last days. Our anniversary is a beautiful time, but it was actually heavy for me even before Brady’s surgery. You might not remember, but Dekker’s eye surgery was right in this window of time as well, and the memory of how that all went down was pretty traumatizing. That fell on February 11th. So it was always a difficult memory that would start nagging at me around now. The year that happened, it obviously overshadowed our anniversary, which is fine because our marriage does not depend on a February date. Not in the slightest. But now we have even bigger fish to fry right around the same time! 😅 Oof!
Yesterday, we were given the chance to go out for the afternoon and evening together, just Brady and I. Cher used her ONE rest day to babysit the kids, receive them from school, feed them, and put them to bed.
Meanwhile, Brady and I perused a couple of stores, and managed to buy him some pants that actually work for him (this is a real win!) as well as some kitchen stuff for home, and the lake, and we even scored some Christmas and bday gifts for the kids! It was a super successful, restful time together.
We actually went and sat in a restaurant for the first time in I don’t know how long, and enjoyed a supper together. Our server was really personable and chatty, and the food was great! While we waited for our bill, an older couple came up to our table and inquired “Have we seen you tv?” That was a good laugh, hahaha! They were asking all about Brady’s Batec and were encouraging us. It was very sweet of them, and we had a good giggle about how we’re basically celebrities now 😎😎 I tease, of course, but it was fun.
We did a little more shopping before we grabbed some coffee and went to sit it at the train bridge. That has been our spot since we were dating, and we go there often when we have windows of time to kill. The very first day I was allowed to take Brady out of the hospital, we went to buy him some shoes, and we got some lunch to eat at our spot. Something about that spot feels homey. Can’t explain it.
We came home to a quiet house and a very tired Cher 💜 We were so grateful for the evening out. Thank you again, sweet girl, for the break.
Tomorrow is a big one for our hearts, so I will aim for ease in the next day or two. Making baskets and listening to good music!
Thank you for the warmth surrounding yesterdays post. Brady and I marked our anniversary with a delicious supper after the kids went to bed. Today we have the chance to go out on a date, so we have a plan to go out somewhere we have a gift card for this evening, and kill some time around that. We aren’t exactly swimming in recreational money but we don’t need much to spend time together 💜 We’re looking forward to getting some time away from the house, just the two of us.
I won’t lie and tell you my mind is fully at rest, though. With the last year being so full, its hard to picture how it all came together SO fast. So reliving it in real time is pretty eye opening.
Today is February 8th. Last year, on February 8th, Brady had already had his MRI, around 7:30am. We had this entire day to wait for results of the MRI, knowing full well that Dr. Guselle was refreshing Bradys file constantly, looking for those results just about as eagerly as we were. And we did receive them. Today. Last year. February 9th.
Brady had a mass. Most likely cancerous. And it needed to come out. Brady would meet a neurosurgeon the very next day.
That was a lot of information.
You know those things that you process and prepare for that still end up kicking you in the gut and knocking the wind from your lungs?
Me too. 🤮
This day marked a gigantic time of uncertainty. But we didn’t even know it yet. At this point, we knew Brady would need surgery to take out a tumour. That was scary enough on its own. We had NO idea what was coming.
Oh, past Hailey and Brady, what I wish I could tell you. How I wish I could have prepared you better or stolen all that fear from your hearts. But if I could’ve helped you with all of those things, none of us would need faith. And we do. Now more than ever.
Lord, you brought us through this year. Please carry me through this week of memories and sorrow.
Today marks thirteen years since Brady and I were married and pledged ourselves to one another.
Thirteen years.
Good thing we’re not superstitious.
I don’t really have to tell you all how much has changed in this last year.
A lot. A lot has changed.
What I will say is that we have gained FAR more than we have lost.
This has been a year of opportunity. Of adventure. Of fun! We’ve been together at home and at the lake more than ever before, and it has only solidified in our hearts how much we LOVE to be together 💜
Together, we’re trying new things, setting new goals, and being braver than we’ve ever had to be.
I see why these big times in our lives tear people apart. I give God ALL the glory that it simply never even crossed our minds. Me and you, honey. We have a really beautiful thing going, and I pray and trust that God will use it for good. If we help others, or if we simply are good examples for our children, I know God has us in the palm of His holy hand.
From day one…
…to thirteen years later…
I choose you 💜
Thirteen years is just the beginning. I foresee big things in our future.
