Another day of work getting done around here. Some furniture was lovingly hauled up our treacherous stairwell. Babies were fed and dressed and played with. I sat and took breathers. I crocheted in the afternoon. It was a genuinely beautiful day filled with help and love and softness.

My mom brought supper, and we shared supper with the group. The kids played a rousing game of telephone as they ate, and the rest of us sat in the living room and tried to have a conversation over top of the loud bellows of laughter. It was honestly just so awesome.

Today was radiation fraction #5. 5/25. 1/5. 20%. However you want to look at it. It’s a chunk anyway, and I’m glad its behind us. Only one more month to go 💜

I am more than ready to tuck in for the night, though. Its time. It was a really lovely soft day with family, and now I’m ready for some comfort and rest with Brady. We are both so tired, but SO happy to be together with everyone. No regrets whatsoever.

Sleep well, all 💜 Be well and warm.

I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with Brady. A person doesn’t anticipate doctors appointments being dates, but its really, really nice to spend that time together, however it happens.

Brady came and picked me up from home and we drove together to City Hospital for his first outpatient rehab appointment in three-ish years. It was honestly a strange mix of odd and lovely to be back there. Sad and weird to have to go back to the hospital because you lost all mobility and feeling you had left at your level of injury. But quite sweet to see familiar faces in familiar places, and know that these people want to help you, without a doubt.

Bradys PT, Kari, greeted him with a hug, and back we went to go over all the history of the last few years. There was a lot, and it was clear on her face that she really cared about our situation and that she was happy to be connected with Brady again, but also loaded with empathy.

She did some basic tests – ones we’ve done hundreds of times – and confirmed his level of feeling and strength. None, and none. ✅✅ We talked details about what our immediate needs are, and at most angles, we would say “I know this is what you need, but we need an OT to request/apply.” So the goal is to get Brady reconnected with an occupational therapist, as well as home care. With this, we can have our house assessed and possibly apply for some funding to help us change what NEEDS changing. Possible lifts. Possible bathroom renovation. Mattress assessment. Etc etc etc.

We talked armrests for his wheelchair. Possible different backrest. Commode chair. Shower chair. We talked about getting Brady into our van again.

We talked about getting reconnected with the physiatrists on staff. That sounds made up, I know. They’re doctors of physio, basically. If we can get connected there, we can get even more weight behind some applications for funding. Also, Brady can get further information and help surrounding bladder and bowel care, as well as pressure sores, compression items, etc.

Goodness we are living in a WHIRLWIND right now!

After rehab, we picked up coffee and headed over to yet another hospital for radiation. We made it to the cancer centre on time, which happened to be towards the end of their day. It was quiet, yet the staff was so bright and friendly. I have to say. The people who work at the cancer centre in Saskatoon are AMAZING people withe BEAUTIFUL bedside manner. It is hard, because the communication in the entire building is among the worst we’ve ever come across :/ Which makes it really easy to HATE the place. But the people working there are so stinking lovely, it almost feels nice to see them. Even though no one wants to go there absolutely ever.

Anyway. Radiation takes longer now that Brady can’t get onto the treatment bed on his own anymore. Three people work together to get him lifted up and onto the table, and to get him straightened out, legs propped, scary mask on. The RT machine that they usually use for Brady was out of order, so he was in a different pod with a different machine, and a different lift. Instead of the ceiling track lift, they had a crappy little hoyer lift, and it suuuuucked 🤣 But it was funny. Brady swayed back and forth in his swing 🤣 He’s such a big boy!!

I tease, but I’m allowed, I promise. Brady is not mad at me. He’s all sheepish and cute, hey? 😆😍

The treatment itself was quick and easy, and home we went. We came home to most of the kids, and the rest followed very shortly. My mom. My sister. My brother in law. Their kids. The place was bustling and energetic and happy! Supper had also arrived! 🍕 Thank you, Danielle and fam 💜 Delicious!!!!

A worky morning had continued after I joined Brady in the city, and the house is looking so much tidier and more organized. What a gift we were given today. While the nieces played hard with the babies, the rest of us worked, and there is promise of more to be done tomorrow. We are SO grateful for their trip out and all of their warm willing efforts to help us.

Its been a beautiful day. Also a gigantic day. But a very purposeful, fulfilling, productive day. And I am POOPED. Anyone else completely ready to hit the sack??

🙋🏼‍♀️🥱

It was a really precious day over here 💜 Brady and I got to sip a coffee together in bed before getting up in the morning. We spent a bit of time tidying the house up a little bit, but not too much, in preparation for my mom, and my my sister and her family to come spend the day!! It was incredibly special to be together again. They came out on their school break, which is different from ours, with the goal to see us here and there, and put some time and work into helping us set up the house and do some of the things we can’t really make happen right now. As you can likely imagine, there is a LOT going on over here in terms of setting up the house and reorganizing things to be more accessible, as well as helping me catch up on some jobs that have just gotten away from me and now feel unbelievably daunting. I am SO grateful. We will part ways regularly for supper and the evenings, but our children will still see each other a few times while they’re out. Its definitely still their break, and they should have FUN! But I’m SO grateful they also want to help us out with our life things as well. What a gift.

Today, while we caught up over coffee in the living room, someone reached out to me and asked if they could drop off a meal. Not someone who has signed up for our meal train (which is almost FULL already, guys! Amazing!!! Thank you!!!) but someone who just decided to put in to show love and support 💜 How incredible!!

And then! As if we hadn’t been showered with love and care enough, yet another person reached out with the offer of a meal! I responded with many thanks, and said we had supper worked out for today but I’d still LOVE to have a batch of what she knows to be my favorite soup, but she insisted she’d like to bring it fresh, so we chose a different day later this week.

You can’t make this stuff up. I cannot explain how beautifully covered we have been by those around us, but people – God is using you!!! THANK YOU for listening and obeying and putting into our lives!! From the fresh meals to the freezer meals to the baked goods to the grocery hauls that have walked through this door, you have saved me hundreds if not thousands of dollars, and hours upon HOURS of time, both of which are incredibly valuable.

It costs an immense amount of money to have a disability, and now the entire game has changed, and we are on our way to purchasing Bradys new necessities. So our saved dollars are going to really important things! THANK YOU for sharing so generously with us! And time is enormous and important and we don’t have a ton of extra of that. This makes it easier to be out at appointments, at kids things, and hauling and caring for babies without having to worry about standing and sweating at my (very beautiful new enormous) stove. Not that I don’t have help in the home, but there are more limitations, and realistically, there is more that rests on me now. I’m happy to do it all, but having meals made is a HUGE saving grace while we adjust to this new normal.

Its been a really nice day. Tomorrow holds more beautiful things. Kids to school. To their activities. Brady to his rehab appointment at City Hospital! And I get to GO WITH HIM!!!! Ack! Radiation fraction #4, and home to another supper brought to our door 💜 How in the world does it get any better??

Praise the Lord for EVERYTHING. He is still good, no matter the circumstance!

Today has been a great balance of work and rest. We got some jobs done around the house, a few done at my moms house, some things delivered to different houses around town, some party mix made, some kids bathed, aaaaand a few other things, I think. It was a good, albeit tiring, day 😅

As the daytime peters out and I’m half tucked into bed as I type this, I am truly full of joy.

As Solly would say, “And can I tell you why?”

After our day seemed to be on its way to wrapping up so nicely, we were hit with a bit of a discouragement that brought some chaos and disorder to our peace. It was manageable, of course, but changed the plan and added a level of struggle. And we’re not exactly at level one on the struggle bus, so little added struggles sometimes feel monumental.

When the dust settled, I found my three kids who were still up – Dekker, Laela, and Rowan – playing cards in the living room.

Trust me when I tell you that I know this doesn’t seem like much. Except that this NEVER happens. My kids LIVE to read, which is cool, but also sometimes it totally sucks because they neverrrrrr talk! So, no joke, lately I’ve vetoed daytime reading. No more of it. Unless its for school, they don’t read in their free time. The only time today that I said they could read was before bed, because that is absolutely always the case. Before bed is wind down time, so reading is perfect!

And today, they opted to play cards. Only Laela really cares to play cards. The others are less interested. But they were all sprawled out on the living room floor, laughing like hyenas, playing cards. Kings Corner. I don’t know how to play, but Dekker taught them.

I know its small. I know this. But it filled my heart with gratefulness, and I want to remember that 💜

I’ve mentioned it before, but we were given a stair lift a few years ago. Someone had offered us one, but upon them turning it on to check it out, it didn’t run. They said it could be just a small simple wiring issue, but they really weren’t sure. Rather than working to figure it out and sell it, we found it plunked on our driveway the day we came back from the elementary schools performance of Frozen Jr two years ago. It didn’t fit the stair setup of our modified bi-level at the time, but we were very grateful and packed it up to see where we landed next.

Fast forward to moving last year. We had good plans to get the lift installed basically as we moved in, just so we wouldn’t have to later. Not that Brady needed it, per se, but we knew eventually he would, and why not have it in place before then!

But then had that seizure and messed everything up 🤣 And then brain surgery, and then all kinds of things, aaaaand now we’re here, super needing it.

A loving friend came and got the thing up and running recently, and even installed it in place!

And tonight, we officially cracked it out so Brady could go downstairs, and we could have a movie night 💜

Ok so I forgot to take a picture of Brady in it today, but Dekker rode it the other day 🤣

It was a little hands on getting him down there, lol! That wasn’t the lifts fault. We are still hoping to find a second beater basement wheelchair for him to move around in, but since we don’t have one, Dekker disassembled his chair, and he and I carried it down, piece by piece, overtop of Bradys head as he sat perched at the bottom of the stairs. It was definitely a bit of a labour of love, but we definitely love him and have no regrets 💜 It was very much worth it.

I am SO grateful for this lift. It means Brady can actually go downstairs where we can do fun things as a group where we fit a little bit better. We could not have it without the generosity of someone at Brady’s work, gifting us the lift originally, as well as that of a friend here in town who came on more than one occasion to get it set up for us.

Thank you LORD for consistently providing ALL we could want or need!

Radiation, chapter three.

We begged and pleaded for an earlier start date, and the cancer centre insisted we wait until this Thursday. We bugged further and spoke to our doctor who, in turn, spoke to Bradys radiation oncologist, and he was receptive to the information he received and said he would try to get Brady in on Monday or Tuesday rather than waiting.

No call Monday.

SO SICK Tuesday. Didn’t chase. Wasn’t worth it.

Wednesday was a better day. We had accepted treatment the next day. So naturally, since we had stopped pushing, Brady got the call for his first appointment to be that afternoon. Wednesday. Bumped up a single day. It wasn’t much, but it was something! He took the appointment slot.

Thus began radiation chapter three.

Brady is feeling well. He is eager to get the ball rolling, so it feels productive to be back at it. Not that he’s happy to be in cancer treatment. Of course not. No one wants to be in cancer treatment. But if we’re being blunt, the man has a lot to live for in spite of a really crummy diagnosis and outlook. So, to treatment he goes!

Most notable difference so far is the fact that he can no longer heave himself onto the bed for the therapy. They bring in a lift each time to put him on the bed and help him off. Yes, thats how much his function has changed. Which is wild considering it was SO recent that he was standing, sealing up the island top that is so vastly less exciting. Who even cares about that anymore?

*crickets*

Anyway. Radiation 2/25. The countdown is on. Debating whether or not to do a Facebook prayer countdown like last time.

God is BIGGER than cancer and STRONGER than treatment!! 💜

Yesterdays blog was cute, hey? The blogger was even cuter.

She was excited to write it up, and took it pretty seriously, asking about spelling, as well as how she could appropriately talk about the foster babies. She crushed it. 💜

I don’t often lay out our current illness quite so detailed, for fear of others being scared of us, but hey. Here it is. And thankfully, whilst violent, this one seems to run through pretty quickly. For sure for the kids. So no need to fear, lol! The worst is over.

Brady and I were both asleep before 9pm last night. When we got up around 6am to feed the Peanut, I was SO unbelievably dizzy, I bounced my way to and from the kitchen like a pinball machine. Brady took the hit for me, and got the kids up for the day while I kept sleeping. The dizziness did not end right there, but I was able to get up, eat and drink, and slowly find my feet again. I don’t feel 100% but significantly better. Like, over 80% I’d say. I even ate real food at lunch time, which is especially easy when people are bringing food left right and centre. Jayna, you set that bar HIGH with those pot pies. Yikes. The leftovers were delicious also. Thank you 💜

With the little bit of energy I’ve regained, I’m going to try to be mildly productive before the day is done. I’ve been able to crochet a tiny bit this afternoon while all the babies slept. It wasn’t long, as the Peanut is not settled these days, even less so than usual, but thats the baby I’m trying to make a blanket for! So I’ve worked a little on that, and shortly, I hope to put some things away that have been filling my island. I feel so much more sane when my island isn’t full to the brim.

Today turned out to be a surprisingly peaceful day. Likely in part to the fact that Brady was home, helping me manage the babies while my head was so woozy. Sometimes the best part of sickness is together time 💜

Ok. Unsettled baby alert 🚨 Gotta go!

Hi, there! Laela here! Today I get to type the blog! Mom can’t because she’s feeding the Peanut. Today I am writing about how our whole family caught the flu. It all started with Wavy. She barfed every day for… I don’t know, 3 days? Then the Spoonful caught it. The Spoonful is so nice when it’s sick. All it does is lie on Mom, drink water, and sleep. Then the Lemon Drop got a taste of it. It drinks very little water, and lies on Mom the rest of the time…well, if it’s not sleeping. It would barf every night.

Rowan was next. Apparently he barfed 6 times! Then, because I sleep with Wavy, I caught it today. I barfed only 3 times, but they were weird. My body worked really hard, but it didn’t all come out at once. While I was vomiting, Mom and Dad were too. I stayed home from school, and helped with the babies while Mom and Dad were sleeping on the couch. They must have felt so sick! Thank God tomorrow’s another day!

I don’t know how to make this post eloquently so I’m just going to lay it all out on here and hope it reads ok 😅

Sometimes its hard to post about whats going on when there is still so much up in the air.

Sometimes its hard to post what we need when we don’t know yet. Not only because our brains are still super swirly with all the new information, but also because Bradys’s function is still changing, so we don’t know what the end result will be and, therefore, we don’t know what his needs will look like.

Sometimes its hard to post because you are all SO QUICK on the draw to jump to fulfill our needs, which is incredible and humbling and just something I don’t even know what to do with 😅 It is truly a beautiful problem to have, believe me. I get nervous to post for fear that people think I’m hinting when I’m not.

Anyway. Caution to the wind. I can’t be bothered to sift through all of the details at this point so I’m just going to throw a bunch down.

Get ready.

Before all of these changes, Brady was meant to start up another chemo cycle this week. Tuesday, specifically. However, its been made clear that the course of chemo he was on was doing all kinds of squat, so we were told the plan would change. His standard pre-chemo appointment is today, so hopefully he actually sees his oncologist instead of whoever else, and hopefully they did, in fact, make a new plan. Not sure yet if he’ll do the five day cycle like he’s done for the last six months, or if they’ll do chemo daily along with his radiation like they did freshly after his brain surgery. Radiation is also supposed to start this week. We fought ALL last week to get things moved up timewise, and his current first treatment is on Thursday, but they did say last week they were hoping to get it started on Monday or Tuesday. So we should know today what the plan is for both schedules and treatment plans.

With Brady’s changes in function, his mobility is super different and a lot less. He has no use of his legs anymore. Like. None. He no longer wears the leg brace that helped him stand. He cannot stand at all. He cannot bear weight at all. He can’t sit up unsupported for long at all. His abs have quit. His legs have quit. His bladder and bowel function has also changed, so he has new supplies and systems in place to make that all run smoothly as well.

So with the total inability to stand, much is changing in our life. Brady got the last of the drawer handles placed in the island yesterday, and I’ve been reorganizing the kitchen so he can reach as many dishes as possible. No more wall cabinets for him! Today I’m hoping to move around the pantry so he can reach more things.

Ok. A couple of big dreams.

Getting Brady into the garage. Right now he goes down the ramp in the front and around into the garage, and that works well, but we definitely want him to be able to go into the garage. So we’re looking into funding through some programs to see if we can get a garage lift installed. If so, we’ll need to rebuild the entrance platform in there also, as it is not even close to level with the door. If and when this time comes, we need to clean out our garage. Lots will need to be hauled away, like the giant wood box the stove came in, and some old cabinets. We’re not quite ready for that. Warm weather will help.

Renovating our bathroom. This may not go down anytime soon, but as I said – it’s a dream. Brady can barely get into our bathroom. Its so teeny, which was fine when he could walk, but is next to impossible to make work when his chair has to come in with him. The chair takes up the bulk of the floor space in there, so getting to and from the toilet or the shower is REALLY challenging. It can be done, mostly, ish, but the dream would be to get a smaller vanity, move the toilet, and put a bunch of storage above the toilet. We can’t lose all the storage space, since Brady has lots of med supplies (ie catheters and everything that comes along those) that need somewhere to live. So. Thats the dream. New en suite.

Modifying our bus so Brady can get into it. I mentioned this yesterday. It is a lofty goal, but I do believe City Hospital rehab will have ideas and resources.

Smaller dreams.

Some accessibility things. We are thinking a LOT about the lake and how different its going to be. There are a few things that will make moving around on the gravel easier. A Freewheel is a pretty cool thing that I think we’ll bite the bullet on sooner than later. It lifts up the castor wheels in the front of the chair, but is still self propelled. The castors are what get caught on everything and have people falling out of wheelchairs. Brady also needs to order armrests for his chair. They would make transferring out so much easier. And grab bars/rails/handles to install in vehicles, also.

Needs.

We need to put grab bars up in the house. We have them, we just need to pick their spots and install them.

We need a railing on our front ramp, but that will come a little later after *drumroll please* our ramp is redone! 💜 Thats a gift we’ve been offered, which is gigantic and humbling. When the new ramp happens, so will the railing. We have purchased some of materials for the railing already, but since it will be much longer in the nearish future, we’ll have to snag some more soon. Thank goodness they stock it at Zaks!

We need to finish up the whole stove project, which was SO fun at the beginning and now just feels like something dragging :/ Which SUCKS. We have a range hood on order and when that comes, we have willing hands ready to install it and finish up the project. But man. Its a bummer its dragged the way it has and it feels a lot less fun now. Ah well. Still incredibly grateful for it 💜 Not every detail has to be exciting or thrilling.

Brady needs to finish the winch system he started building in his minivan. He had help getting it going, and he will absolutely still be asking for help to get it finished. Just have to prioritize.

Oddly enough, we need a wheelchair 😅 Hear me out. We had a loving friend come and get our stair lift installed and working, which is HUGE. Brady can actually be in our basement again. He could even tuck in the downstairs kids! Except that he can’t move around once he’s down there! We could haul his chair down, yes, but our stairwell is quite narrow and the lift is a decent size, so it would definitely be a job for a second person, and it may even need to be disassembled to get it down there. So the hunt for a basic folding wheelchair is already on! I’m on FB Marketplace every day, and I’m sure we’ll find one soon enough.

Ok. Thats all I can think of for now. Its a lot thats swirling in my brain, but now its all in one place, lol! If anyone has any bomb ideas for making life more accessible, please feel so free to throw them our way! We are not above spitballing. We are not too proud to hear from others! Positively everything in our life is about adapting right now, so throw out your best ideas! We need them and want them!

We have caught a batch of whatever sketchy illness is floating around, it seems. Not all of us, thank goodness, but for sure three of us. A couple of the babies, and Wavy. We stayed home from church this morning in an effort not to spread our germs, and to give everyone a chance to rest up and not get sicker.

Today held minimal productivity, a few cups of coffee, and a lot of baby snuggles. I discovered Dekker can give me decent piggyback rides, so I definitely took advantage of that a few times. I crocheted a little bit at one point. And we even had salad with supper. Dekker added sprinkles to mine.

Weirdo. I wonder where he came up with that idea.

😏

Brady and I went outside this evening for a few minutes and speculated how we will get him into the bus. He hasn’t been able to be in our vehicle for the last while, and we don’t like that. We vastly prefer to travel together.

Howeverrrrr…

Brady got reconnected with City Hospital, and he gets to go meet with his original physiotherapist back from rehab days! We are SO grateful to be back in contact with them, and all the resources that will come along with it. The beautiful thing about the rehab program there is that, once you’re in, you are always welcomed back. That means the gym, PTs, OTs, social workers, etc. Part of therapy there will be figuring out how to get Brady into the vehicle, and if he needs some mobility aids to make it possible, they will be the ones who know whats out there, and what can be applied for, and then THEY will apply for it! Which is AWESOME, and crazy helpful!

We are so thankful to have Brady accepted back in to see his PT from four years ago 💜 What a huge gift. Hopefully helps is on the way and we can be back to driving together sooner than later!

Also, cancer treatment should start up before long. For sure this week. For sure radiation. But we’ll keep you in the loop with that also. When we know, you’ll know.

Thank you for carrying us in prayer 💜 It makes all the difference.

Gonna be a big week!