You’ve probably picked up on it, but it’s a pretty overwhelming time over here. Tumour. Surgery. Paraplegia. Separation. Cancer. The works. My anxiety has taken an enormous hit, but now that I’m a bit more on top of it, I feel like I can talk about it, at least a little bit.
I made the choice to go up on my antidepressant. Its necessary, as this is a long game situation and I’m not coping as well as I’d like to be. While we wait for my body to catch up on my new dose, I have a few other helpful things in place.
Sleep is a gigantic struggle on the regular, so thats maximized tenfold now. I’m on something temporarily to help with that, and its really a relief to actually stay asleep and wake up feeling rested.
My biggest issue has been digestive. Since right around Brady’s MRIs, I’ve had the most unreal heartburn I’ve ever experienced. NEVER before have I felt SO on fire in my chest, to a point where I literally couldn’t stand up straight. It would come in waves, and I would be somewhat incapacitated. Absolutely nothing would touch it. This was obviously tied to the fact that I could hardly stomach food anymore. I would gag and dry heave if I tried to eat, or heaven forbid, prepare food. Thank you Lord for the meal train that has kept our family fed! But I was losing weight. I promised my people I would call my doctor if I dipped below a certain number. And I have. So I did. To combat this struggle, I am on a prescription antacid, a strong anti-nauseant, and I’ve delved into the world of meal replacement drinks. Don’t come for me on this. I know they’re not the ideal long term solution but they’re a fantastic short term solution, and I am SO grateful they exist. Since I’ve started having one in bed before its even time to get up, I’ve had WAY less heartburn and I’m functioning SO much better! My body is clearly happy to have something to digest besides itself.
Once my antidepressant catches up a little, I imagine I won’t be as gaggy and I’ll be able to eat, which will relieve a lot of the digestive issues. As well, I hope I’ll be able to feel a bit of mental relief and I should sleep better, too.
None of this is about me. Trust me, I know. But I have to keep the rest of our life functioning and that was proving a lot easier said than done. So, here we are, finding ways to make it work.
Lord, take care of us all.