I have nothing to defend. I know this with confidence. But I will be honest and say posts like todays post are HARD to write out for a number of reasons. It is hard to recount traumatic events. It is hard to press myself to write eloquently when my heart, brain, and body are grossly overloaded. It is HARD to be vulnerable with my feelings when I know for a fact there are people who read along who overtly dislike me. It is HARD to share personal things sometimes. But I’m going to try.
I have felt apprehensive about this day for a while now. I think that makes sense. Brady and I have both sensed last years events in our bodies for a couple of days now. We are fatigued in a different way. Our bodies are stressed. One year ago, in this moment right now, Brady was under the knife, receiving a life altering surgery. One year ago today, our lives were shaken up and changed undeniably.
I will absolutely NEVER forget that day.
Hugging Brady and sending him off alone to go have his surgery felt like I was sending him off to war. Truly. I only bawled publicly and alone in the hospital mall for a moment or two before my dear friend, Carrie, showed up from around a corner and scooped me up in a hug. We both cried. It sucked, but I was so relieved to have her. 💜
I lurked at the hospital all afternoon, waiting to hear from Brady’s surgeon. It took hours. It felt like weeks. But it happened. His surgeon called me to tell me he was through surgery. He said he felt hopeful that he might’ve gotten it all, but that his tumour was worse than he had anticipated. He said he had very little hope, if any, for his right leg. He told me its possible Brady would never regain any use of his right leg. Ever. These were scary times. But I was just so relieved that he was through.
With God’s hand in his healing, Brady has defied all the odds, and has worked HARD to regain more function than anyone thought he would have. His legs continue to strengthen, pleasantly surprising ALL health care professionals along the way.
Today, we found ourselves at City Hospital for a very overdue rehab appointment. As Brady did his exercises and as his physio was SO encouraged by his progress, I was hit over and over by the fact that his legs work the way they do. They both work! Sure, they work differently. They both are completely different in what they can and cannot do. But an entire leg wasn’t supposed to work anymore, and it does!!!
This one, in fact.
This leg right here that Brady is able to lift from the hip, even against some resistance, was never ever going to move independently again. And look 💜 It does.
Surgery was both a hard choice and an easy choice. We knew the surgery carried a possibility that Brady would be left paralyzed. But not doing the surgery would leave the fast growing cancer cells free to climb up to their choice location – the brain. I remember stumbling over my words and saying to Dr. Fourney “We can’t not do it, hey?” And he shook his head and said something along the lines of “There is no time to waste.”
One year ago, we chose Brady’s life over his legs, and our life has only richened since then. God has created Brady in His image, and we trust with ALL of our hearts that His plan is far greater than we have ever pictured! I am incredibly excited to see where He takes us because we can say with confidence – we have NO IDEA where that is yet!
God gives and takes away, but we continue to praise His name 💜
Thank you, Lord, for bringing us through this wild, stormy weather. Our hearts and arms are open to whatever or wherever You bring us next!
Well, my girl, it’s hard to make this a short comment. It must feel like you have fit 25 years into the last 365 days. Sometimes it even feels a bit like that to me. How can I respond to this in a little comment section?
I will say this……
I am so very proud of Brady and you, individually and as a couple.
Hailey, you have faced your fears and stepped beyond them relentlessly over the last year. Your courage and positive attitude have amazed me time and time again. As I have said so often….. you are my hero. You face your foes with your hand in God’s hand. You struggle and work , together with your Lord and Savior, and then you find VICTORY….. and then…….. there’s another new thing or uncertainty to face and off you go again. I’m so proud of you my dear. I respect you and love you so very much!
Brady, I see you in the picture on this blog which was likely taken the day after your surgery. Your eyes are so loving and peaceful. How can that be after all that you have been learned and been through in the last 24 hours. But there you are loving the woman behind the phone camera. I can see those “love darts”. 🙂 I don’t think I have ever seen someone step up to the plate as you did that day and you haven’t quit since. It’s been a year…. or 25 years…… depending how you look at it…… and God and you have “moved mountains”, huge mountains…… and I haven’t heard one complaint, not one. You have conquered so many many hurtles in the last 365 days….. it’s impossible to start listing them. You “jumped” these hurtles, (dark humour) :-), with such amazing determination, never giving up or complaining. Now, that is the POWER OF GOD!
I am soooooo proud of you Brady! You are a wise man. I love you so very much!
There is so much more to say, but I will leave it at that.
May God bless you with power and joy to face the next 365 days. May God keep you on the Rock that is higher then your enemies; in His fortress, where you will not be shaken; and under His wings where you will be safe from all harm.
My dear children…. you are BEAUTIUL!